Author
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Topic: So much hate against Valentine's Day!
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StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 06, 2014 12:11 AM
quote: Originally posted by Violets: I think more about getting things for my son, or appreciating the cards my parents send me on Valentine's Day. I should also add here that my husband's Mars/NN in Aquarius is conjunct my Aqua DSC and Mercury, and we both have prominent Uranus in our charts. Societal norms and expectations are not our specialty. 
They aren't mine either (and I have prominent Uranus and it makes a lot of aspects with moon, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, ascendant.) I don't give much thought to Valentine's Day besides this thread.
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Violets Knowflake Posts: 4396 From: Registered: Apr 2011
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posted February 06, 2014 12:30 AM
quote: Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme: They aren't mine either (and I have prominent Uranus and it makes a lot of aspects with moon, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, ascendant.) I don't give much thought to Valentine's Day besides this thread.
Same here. I see the stuff in the grocery stores, and think about it rather absent-mindedly. I was just talking to my husband about it, as we were leaning over the counter, sharing some chips and hummus and talking before bed, and I said "This would be a perfect Valentine's Day date, wouldn't it?" and I was telling him about this thread... So he went into a spiel about how commercialized ALL holidays are (which I happen to agree with but am occasionally guilty of falling prey to, mostly during Christmas season), and we talked about that for a while, and ate our chips and hummus. *shrug* IP: Logged |
PixieJane Moderator Posts: 6029 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted February 06, 2014 12:49 AM
I normally don't spare much thought for V-Day either. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are about it. And I used to spend the day after the Fourth of July collecting beer & coke cans for recycling. It just occurs to me, the favorite part of Thanksgiving and Christmas is the food...and it's high up on why I like Halloween (pumpkin pie, for example), too. I only have one asteroid in Taurus, however...maybe good home cooked food means family, like when me and relatives worked together in the kitchen, and trips to other houses for more of the same as well as inviting friends over. That would appeal to my 3H Libra Venus. Years ago I knew so many who were depressed over not having anyone to share Thanksgiving with that I organized a potluck...some funny stories with that as so many of different backgrounds and interests got together, and some really had no idea what they were doing (like one who said he'd take care of the turkey bought it frozen the day before...we had to postpone until the weekend ), but I enjoyed those a lot (just as I enjoyed some other potlucks I've been to). As for Halloween, it's so close to my birthday and love dressing up and roleplaying, too, especially with elements of fairy tales (like witches) thrown in. I've been writing my own fairy tales since I was like 6-7. And, of course, the gatherings, I love Halloween parties. That could explain why Valentines doesn't mean much to me. It's not a social gathering with making food (buying chocolates doesn't count). And I used to like the Fourth of July but it generally got too crowded and drunk for me, typically on a beach or in a park waiting for a fireworks show, music clashing and other disharmonious elements (and cooking on the grill is something I leave to the guys so they don't beat their chest at me ) so I just lost interest. But I did like it more with my extended family. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 4396 From: Registered: Apr 2011
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posted February 06, 2014 01:09 AM
^^ Typical Libra, with the food and the gatherings, haha.  I used to love the Fourth of July when I lived on Capitol Hill in Seattle, and could just walk a few blocks down the hill to the freeway overpass and see all of the fireworks shows without hassle. Or go out to a friend's apartment rooftop or something. I could look out my window to see the New Year's fireworks, so that was nice. But yeah, too many drunk people now. I'm a real sucker for Christmas, Easter, All Hallow's Eve, All Saints' Day, and All Souls' Day. Must have been Catholic in a former life.  IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 06, 2014 01:22 AM
I like holiday food a lot too, pumpkin pie and stuffing when it's made good around Thanksgiving and the turkey of course! At one time I ate deviled eggs but have since given them up. My mom's relatives are all backwoods country people from a previous century so deviled eggs were always in abundance on Thanksgiving and they have pecan orchards so we always had these pecan pies. To me they are too sweet. Their filling is nothing but sugar and corn syrup! Nothing beats fresh pecans the ones at the store are all stale. For Halloween we used to go trick or treating. Instead of just a few neighborhood streets, we walked for a couple of miles and got tons of candy. We took pillow cases because with all the candy, the plastic bags fell apart and plastic pumpkins weren't big enough to hold it all. They candy would last about six months or longer. Usually I threw away some of it because it got too stale. I remember we would make Valentines' bags at school with doilies. I didn't mind the holiday so much then. One or two kids in my class would be flippant about it besides that it was fun and I always preferred it to book learning. What I liked most about holidays were arts in crafts in class. It drove the teachers crazy. They would always get aggravated over it claiming all the noise and talking were too loud. In retrospect, they weren't too bad. No one cared if anyone pieced together a better bag and everyone pretty much got the same Valentines. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 4396 From: Registered: Apr 2011
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posted February 06, 2014 01:50 AM
^^ We always had pecan pie and deviled eggs, too! Man, I miss my grandma's pecan pies and deviled eggs. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 10765 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 07, 2014 11:22 AM
Well.. I was at the mall today and saw something that i thought she might like, so i broke down and bought her a valentines day gift. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 07, 2014 01:40 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Well.. I was at the mall today and saw something that i thought she might like, so i broke down and bought her a valentines day gift.
So I guess the Facebook issue has been resolved? Good. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 7045 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted February 07, 2014 01:43 PM
Good for you. It'll help the relationship, perhaps more than you realize.In the end, it's a expedient way to avoid the dog house. I have the weekend fully planned, except that I cannot be home early on Friday evening (as in <8 pm), but I cannot help that. IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 3920 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted February 07, 2014 07:25 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Well.. I was at the mall today and saw something that i thought she might like, so i broke down and bought her a valentines day gift.
Did you buy it b/c you wanted to buy it or did you buy it b/c you were expected to buy it? It's kinda important in a way AG As for myself..thinking of asking my Taureen Neighborette out on a date for VDay I'll hang loose and see where she is at during our marathon, and since she is largely Vegan, as I am, it shall be pizza/w. feta/spinach and black olives Which may surprise some, I REALLY enjoy the taste of, toss in some craft beer and good conversation..sounds like a magical time Do need some advice on the best chocolate to give as gifts to the office workerettes and the other women in my life I'm a Reese's guy, not everyone shares that sort of peanut butter/chocolate pallet Thinking chocolate filled cherries filled gift boxes, just given on the down low Of all things dear ones, I am a gentleman IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 07, 2014 07:52 PM
Um, a lot of guys buy because they are expected to, for some it's both but don't get angry at the guy just because he buys something due to it being expected. It's this holiday and all the pressure. Most women will not say to their man, "honey, if you don't want to buy anything, I understand and I will respect you for having the integrity to be honest and the guts to go against the reigning mainstream culture and the mass marketed holiday." So, their man must buy them something. So don't jump all over Aquaguy because he wants to use this holiday to nourish his relationship, if that is, in fact, what he is doing. For one year all women should tell their men, "honey I love you unconditionally," on Valentine's Day just for one year.No diamond rings, roses, expensive dinners, lingerie or fancy drinks and everything will be fine, perhaps better than it was before. No expectations of any kind. No obligations to spend anything but time with their loved ones. Maybe just write some prose or introspective philosophy instead. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 10765 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 07, 2014 08:52 PM
I didnt do it because it was expected, i did it because i saw something i thought she might like and decided to get it for her. Picking out a card to go with it was the hard part because the majority of them are overly corny. I browsed for maybe 30 minutes and ended up enlisting the help of a female employee. I told her i wanted something sentimental without going into corny territory and within a few minutes we found a good one. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 07, 2014 09:09 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: I didnt do it because it was expected, i did it because i saw something i thought she might like and decided to get it for her. Picking out a card to go with it was the hard part because the majority of them are overly corny. I browsed for maybe 30 minutes and ended up enlisting the help of a female employee. I told her i wanted something sentimental without going into corny territory and within a few minutes we found a good one.
Can you tell us what it is you bought for her or is it a secret?
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DeepFreeze Knowflake Posts: 4348 From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19 Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 09:29 PM
quote: Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme: Um, a lot of guys buy because they are expected to, for some it's both but don't get angry at the guy just because he buys something due to it being expected. It's this holiday and all the pressure. Most women will not say to their man, "honey, if you don't want to buy anything, I understand and I will respect you for having the integrity to be honest and the guts to go against the reigning mainstream culture and the mass marketed holiday." So, their man [b]must buy them something. So don't jump all over Aquaguy because he wants to use this holiday to nourish his relationship, if that is, in fact, what he is doing. For one year all women should tell their men, "honey I love you unconditionally," on Valentine's Day just for one year.No diamond rings, roses, expensive dinners, lingerie or fancy drinks and everything will be fine, perhaps better than it was before. No expectations of any kind. No obligations to spend anything but time with their loved ones. Maybe just write some prose or introspective philosophy instead.[/B]
We're going to take a little trip to somewhere near here. (4-5 hour drive) Still debating on two options that sound good. Just to get away and enjoy ourselves. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 07, 2014 09:46 PM
quote: Originally posted by DeepFreeze: We're going to take a little trip to somewhere near here. (4-5 hour drive) Still debating on two options that sound good. Just to get away and enjoy ourselves.
That sounds like fun  Have a nice trip! IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 10765 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 08, 2014 07:23 AM
quote: Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme: [QUOTE]Originally posted by aquaguy91: [b]I didnt do it because it was expected, i did it because i saw something i thought she might like and decided to get it for her. Picking out a card to go with it was the hard part because the majority of them are overly corny. I browsed for maybe 30 minutes and ended up enlisting the help of a female employee. I told her i wanted something sentimental without going into corny territory and within a few minutes we found a good one.
Can you tell us what it is you bought for her or is it a secret? [/B][/QUOTE] A stuffed animal. IP: Logged |
Xodian Knowflake Posts: 911 From: Canada Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2014 09:35 AM
quote: Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme: Um, a lot of guys buy because they are expected to, for some it's both but don't get angry at the guy just because he buys something due to it being expected. It's this holiday and all the pressure. Most women will not say to their man, "honey, if you don't want to buy anything, I understand and I will respect you for having the integrity to be honest and the guts to go against the reigning mainstream culture and the mass marketed holiday." So, their man [b]must buy them something. So don't jump all over Aquaguy because he wants to use this holiday to nourish his relationship, if that is, in fact, what he is doing. For one year all women should tell their men, "honey I love you unconditionally," on Valentine's Day just for one year.No diamond rings, roses, expensive dinners, lingerie or fancy drinks and everything will be fine, perhaps better than it was before. No expectations of any kind. No obligations to spend anything but time with their loved ones. Maybe just write some prose or introspective philosophy instead.[/B]
Ok, lets put another Spin (errrr... Perspective ) on this; What if the man in question WANTS to do this! What if he does wants to bring flowers in, buy chocolates, take her out to a fancy restaurant or just have an amazing time together? Where is the harm in that? I actually take this day as a personal challenge as well since I get to challenge my own creativity in the process . I try to make every Valentine's Day a different experience for me and my wife. I remember two years ago where I booked an Air Tour for two of the city for us. We got a personalized tour of a city from a private chartered plane. The look of exhilaration on her face was worth way more than the time and the effort placed into making all the preparations. This year, I get to challenge myself again and see if I can make this year as creative as the others. I have already made the required plans . So what each couple does on their Valentine's Day is their own business but goodness, to mock people who actually want to go the extra mile to make this day spectacular seems kinda... Prissy IMO.
But yes, you are right; Valentine's Day does seems one sides in the sense that on this day, the emphasis of love and romantic relationships is placed on the female partner (Which is kinda ironic considering that in this day and age, love goes far beyond mundane ideas such as "gender normality.") Some cultures have two separate days for males and females. In Japan for instance, on Valentine's Day, the "societal requirement" (I still get a laugh out of that one) of gift giving in placed on the woman: http://japanese.about.com/od/japanesecultur1/a/Valentines-Day-In-Japan.htm And the gesture is reciprocated by the man on White Day:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Day
While I respect this traditional aspect of Japanese Society, I find it kinda exclusionary given the fact that placing gender emphasis on gift giving ends up creating segregation for those whose relationships do not fall under the concept of "Hetero-normality) i.e. the LGBT community.
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 60143 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 08, 2014 09:36 AM
As for myself..thinking of asking my Taureen Neighborette out on a date for VDayInteresting! Will this be your first official date  ------------------ Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 08, 2014 02:15 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: A stuffed animal.
That's really nice of you, Aquaguy, I am sure she will cherish it and that you took the time to find the perfect gift!
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StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 08, 2014 02:21 PM
quote: Originally posted by Xodian: Ok, lets put another Spin (errrr... Perspective ) on this; What if the man in question WANTS to do this! What if he does wants to bring flowers in, buy chocolates, take her out to a fancy restaurant or just have an amazing time together? Where is the harm in that? I actually take this day as a personal challenge as well since I get to challenge my own creativity in the process . I try to make every Valentine's Day a different experience for me and my wife.I remember two years ago where I booked an Air Tour for two of the city for us. We got a personalized tour of a city from a private chartered plane. The look of exhilaration on her face was worth way more than the time and the effort placed into making all the preparations. This year, I get to challenge myself again and see if I can make this year as creative as the others. I have already made the required plans . So what each couple does on their Valentine's Day is their own business but goodness, to mock people who actually want to go the extra mile to make this day spectacular seems kinda... Prissy IMO.
But yes, you are right; Valentine's Day does seems one sides in the sense that on this day, the emphasis of love and romantic relationships is placed on the female partner (Which is kinda ironic considering that in this day and age, love goes far beyond mundane ideas such as "gender normality.") Some cultures have two separate days for males and females. In Japan for instance, on Valentine's Day, the "societal requirement" (I still get a laugh out of that one) of gift giving in placed on the woman: http://japanese.about.com/od/japanesecultur1/a/Valentines-Day-In-Japan.htm And the gesture is reciprocated by the man on White Day:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Day
While I respect this traditional aspect of Japanese Society, I find it kinda exclusionary given the fact that placing gender emphasis on gift giving ends up creating segregation for those whose relationships do not fall under the concept of "Hetero-normality) i.e. the LGBT community.
Xodian, I would hope every guy wants to do this. That's the point. My wish is every guy would get as much out of the holiday as his S.O. and if he doesn't, I understand him going along with it to not make waves. I don't blame him for that if he values his relationship. That's all I'm saying. I just don't like it when holidays become excuses to be emotionally abusive like what my friends from h.s. experienced. They shouldn't have to put with that at work. Why not just make a rule that says give your loved one gift...just not at work? I used to think I can't believe they act this way, especially when my friend's bf drove all the way up there just to give her a rose he picked from some bush. It wasn't even one he bought at the store. He wouldn't have done it at all if it weren't for the supervisor always flaunting her relationship at work. Hearing about it soured me on Valentines Day. I thought it was bs after that. I thought, who cares? It wasn't just Valentine's Day, it became an ongoing thing. The husband of the supervisor would constantly bring their relationship to her work all the while knowing these two girls had bfs that were pretty much indifferent. Should she have been so insensitive considering the whole point is they're supposed to be working? Work isn't about flaunting relationships and letting them become a distraction, is it? IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 9644 From: Mordor Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 08, 2014 04:13 PM
Even if I was in a relationship I highly doubt I'd make a fuss out of Valentine's day. I'd much rather be surprised with a nice gesture. Without an occasion. ------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 9071 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 08, 2014 04:17 PM
I'm not sad though. Ideally, we all find a wonderful partner but if that's not the case, I am grateful I don't have to go through what some I have seen. It's depressing. People should count their blessings, look on the bright side. It could be much, much worse  It is a great opportunity to think about stuff. One thing I do wonder is why must people have nothing better to do than to come up with more holidays that require attention? We have enough of those already. Are holidays really supposed to be about doing something or doing nothing? I vote nothing. I mean, pretty soon, have to wonder, if there will be some holiday where everyone must go to Chick Fila or something similar. It's gotten entirely out of hand. I call for a moratorium on all future holidays. No more! IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 3920 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted February 08, 2014 04:59 PM
quote: Originally posted by Ami Anne: [b]As for myself..thinking of asking my Taureen Neighborette out on a date for VDayInteresting! Will this be your first official date  [/B]
Eh, shot it down, if I list successes also must list failures Felt like I had to ask, even doughty old Padre is not immune to female charms..it just did not work out..  Goodness do I love all of this IP: Logged |
Kerosene unregistered
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posted February 08, 2014 05:34 PM
I broken down and exchanged gifts with someone.They were these hilarious rubber strobe light dildos. I got butt plugs. We were so excited that we didn't even keep it a surprise. Romantic as hell IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 7045 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted February 08, 2014 10:49 PM
It's different for everybody and different couples expect different things. People go to different lengths. I personally go a long way, but that's just me. As a couple, we've become jaded with stuff, so stuff by itself rarely impresses. It's the thought that counts. But we still do the nine yards and throw in the kitchen sink. IP: Logged | |