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Author Topic:   Sociopaths
Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 07, 2021 02:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have known 3, I think. Here is what I have learned

1. No guilt at hurting others. Usually thinks it is funny

2. No shame for actions.

3. Can use people with no guilt or shame because he has none

4. Very charming because he is not held back by what other people have---namely guilt and shame that makes people not act horribly to others( basically)

5. Very hard to identify until they really hurt you( usually) because they are master actors

Any experiences with this?

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teasel
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posted March 07, 2021 02:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, my mother was engaged to one. If you were inferring that someone here is a sociopath, you were way off.

Who is the public figure?

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Graham
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posted March 09, 2021 12:24 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath

01. Superficial charm and good intelligence

02. Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking

03. Absence of nervousness or neurotic manifestations
Unreliability

04. Untruthfulness and insincerity

05. Lack of remorse and shame

06. Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior

07. Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience

08. Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for love

09. General poverty in major affective reactions

10. Specific loss of insight

11. Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations

12. Fantastic and uninviting behavior with alcohol and sometimes without

13. Suicide threats rarely carried out

14. Sex life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated

15. Failure to follow any life plan
http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath

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Graham
unregistered
posted March 09, 2021 12:37 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
http://highlysensitiverefuge.com/highly-sensitive-people-criticism/

1. Remember that the comment is often not about you.

2. Thereís no rule that says you have to react.

3. Decide if you agree or disagree with the criticism.

4. Focus on the positive feedback.

5. Find out which communities work best for your sensitive nature.
http://highlysensitiverefuge.com/highly-sensitive-people-criticism/

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Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake

Posts: 3925
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted March 09, 2021 03:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Graham:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath

01. Superficial charm and good intelligence

02. Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking

03. Absence of nervousness or neurotic manifestations
Unreliability

04. Untruthfulness and insincerity

05. Lack of remorse and shame

06. Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior

07. Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience

08. Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for love

09. General poverty in major affective reactions

10. Specific loss of insight

11. Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations

12. Fantastic and uninviting behavior with alcohol and sometimes without

13. Suicide threats rarely carried out

14. Sex life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated

15. Failure to follow any life plan
http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath


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Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake

Posts: 3925
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted March 09, 2021 04:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami, I'm not sure if it's the best timing for this topic, considering the term has been getting thrown around in here at a member. Unless your purpose was to quash any ideas of Graham being having ASPD?

While diagnosis is not possible without a full clinical assessment, Graham's behaviour on LL doesn't meet the DSM-5 criteria for ASPD as far as I am concerned.

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Donít judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant
- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake

Posts: 3925
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted March 09, 2021 04:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Before performing a comprehensive psychiatric assessment of the patient, a careful history and physical examination is necessary. "The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder

1. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

i. Failure to conform to social norms concerning lawful behaviors, such as performing acts that are grounds for arrest.
Deceitfulness, repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for pleasure or personal profit.

ii. Impulsivity or failure to plan.

iii. Irritability and aggressiveness, often with physical fights or assaults.

iv. Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others.

v. Consistent irresponsibility, failure to sustain consistent work behavior, or honor monetary obligations.

vi. Lack of remorse, being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another person.

2. The individual is at least age 18 years.

3. Evidence of conduct disorder typically with onset before age 15 years.

4. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during schizophrenia or bipolar disorder."
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK546673/


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Donít judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant
- Robert Louis Stevenson

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teasel
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From:
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posted March 09, 2021 08:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Graham:
http://highlysensitiverefuge.com/highly-sensitive-people-criticism/

1. Remember that the comment is often not about you.

2. Thereís no rule that says you have to react.

3. Decide if you agree or disagree with the criticism.

4. Focus on the positive feedback.

5. Find out which communities work best for your sensitive nature.
http://highlysensitiverefuge.com/highly-sensitive-people-criticism/


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Randall
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From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
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posted March 10, 2021 10:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami, I expect you to not take sides when there is an argument and to moderate the situation, not fan the flames with a passive aggressive thread such as this.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 74083
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 10, 2021 10:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I never said anyone was a sociopath. I said I saw Graham attack AG and it seemed very abusive to me.

I had one interaction with Graham. I have no idea beyond this one incident with AG.

Sorry if people took it as I was calling Graham a sociopath. I have no idea who or what he is.

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Graham
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posted March 13, 2021 12:38 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I never said anyone was a sociopath. I said I saw Graham attack AG and it seemed very abusive to me.

I had one interaction with Graham. I have no idea beyond this one incident with AG.

Sorry if people took it as I was calling Graham a sociopath. I have no idea who or what he is.


What you "saw" was Graham retaliating to an attack by AG - which, as a moderator of this board, you should have seen (but apparently did not).

What you (and Randall) are also failing to see is the impact upon me/MY psychological health of being called a sociopath by two of the forum's moderators.

So ... do the two of you - as caring, compassionate, humanitarians who believe yourselves more able to see the pain of others than can I - not think it is time to close this thread ... and to do so with an abject apology from Ami for having opened it in the first place?

However ... perhaps it is expecting too much for "humanitarians" to recognise their own inhumane behaviour. ... Maybe they are just too busy being holier-than-thou "examples" to hard-hearted members like myself. ... Or, perhaps they need to work harder on becoming "bigger people" who know when and how to apologise for "doing harm" to others.


http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/010911.html

[Astrology Note : I posted this reply at 06:13am UT on 13th March 2021 ... when transit Moon was 2 degrees from a conjunction with transit Sun, and thus about to create a New Moon at 23Pisces03 - in the LL forum's natal 3rd house, and on the IC. (6th house of health in my own natal chart). ... See my 02:26am post on 11th March 2021 at http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/242758.html ]

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 74083
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 13, 2021 07:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Edit

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 13, 2021 07:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Show me where I called you a sociopath and I will apologize. If you cant and you cannot because I didnt say it, then i am sorry that you saw a thread that was not aimed at you because i don't know you at all and thought it was about you.


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Voix_de_la_Mer
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Posts: 3925
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted March 13, 2021 08:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Show me where I called you a sociopath and I will apologize. If you cant and you cannot because I didnt say it, then i am sorry that you saw a thread that was not aimed at you because i don't know you at all and thought it was about you.

@Ami

Passive-aggression leads one to imply something rather than say it outright. But the message is the same.

The timing of this thread in relation to the spat in which Graham was called a sociopath by AG and in which you were defending AG, could be considered insensitive (in terms of your mediating responsibilities) at best, and passive-aggressive at worst.

Can you consider this?

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Donít judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant
- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Graham
unregistered
posted March 13, 2021 09:31 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:


My point is that YOU cannot empathise/understand the pain your insensitivity is causing me, but you do understand the pain my insensitivity caused AG.

If you truly are the humanitarian that you consider yourself to be, you will reflect upon WHY you can empathise with the pain of bereavement but not with the "nothing-to-see" pain of psychological torment. ... http://nebraskadebtandbankruptcyblog.lexblogplatformthree.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/469/2016/08/the_scream_by_paulsgruff-d4r7q47.jpg
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the meantime though, I'd like to explain something to all the humanitarians on this forum that judge me to be a cold, hard-hearted, insensitive, unfeeling sociopath :-

I am not able to EFFECTIVELY pick-up or express emotions/feelings via the written word ... and do not know why that is, despite having questioned myself about it many times and for many hours.

However, what I can do effortlessly/insinctively/habitually is to pick-up the emotional pain of anyone that is physically located within 50 yards of me in an open space. ... It is invariably a painful thing for me to experience and I have had to be trained to shut it off, as a self-protective mechanism. ... Nevertheless, there have been many times in my life when it has enabled me to detect and comfort someone whom others were not aware of being in pain - so it is a radar that I still turn-on whenever it seems to me to be appropriate/required.

And, maybe it is the deliberate shutting down of that radar that makes it impossible for me to pick-up emotions via written communications ... but I simply do not know/understand why that is a blindspot for me.

However ... what I can confirm ... and with considerable anger ... is that the self-righteous and holier-than-thou lack of understanding by AG, Ami Anne and Randall is preventing me from shutting down my real-world radar.

And thus, these three "humanitarians" are actually "doing harm" (albeit unknowingly, due to a lack of empathy and self awareness).
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Perhaps you could use your psychic abilities to ascertain the truth about "where I am coming from" on this issue, Ami.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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From: Sound
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posted March 13, 2021 09:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Graham

It's not your fault you can't 'pick up' from text. I think most of us struggle with it at times. I have misinterpreted and been misinterpreted way more times online than I ever have in person. Online you don't have all those little cues that you have in person such as posture, facial expression, tone of voice, or even just energy. I think we rely on these cues (or 'clues') more than we realise, we have been doing it for millions of years (it's all we had before verbal language). I think this makes it much harder to converse smoothly online.

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Donít judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant
- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Graham
unregistered
posted March 13, 2021 10:19 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
@Graham

It's not your fault you can't 'pick up' from text. I think most of us struggle with it at times. I have misinterpreted and been misinterpreted way more times online than I ever have in person. Online you don't have all those little cues that you have in person such as posture, facial expression, tone of voice, or even just energy. I think we rely on these cues (or 'clues') more than we realise, we have been doing it for millions of years (it's all we had before verbal language). I think this makes it much harder to converse smoothly online.


Thanks for this, Voix.

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Graham
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posted March 14, 2021 03:42 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Duplicate post deleted by Graham

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Graham
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posted March 14, 2021 03:43 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:



Show me where I called you a sociopath and I will apologize. If you cant and you cannot because I didnt say it, then i am sorry that you saw a thread that was not aimed at you because i don't know you at all and thought it was about you.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Here is the sequence of events, Ami Anne :-

01. 02:34am on March 6th 2021 ... you closed AG's "people don't listen" thread - after (as you later stated)"seeing me attack him", but having failed to notice his prior attacks upon me. ... [So, perhaps some moderator bias involved here?]

02. 08:42am on March 6th 2021 ... you open a thread on "Rage Turning Into Depression"

03. 02:37pm on March 6th 2021 ... I ask on that thread "Has any moderator ever tackled this issue of not allowing no go areas to develop on the forum ... or taken AQUAGUY to task for attempting to intimidate other members? ... Or have they persuaded themselves that he does not do that, and (even if he did) he is just a victim of a difficult childhood/ adolescence?"

04. 04:14pm on March 6th 2021 ... After the resulting inevitable exchange of negative comments between AG and I, you close that thread - with a Parthian Shot comment to me of "This is ridiculous. Who died and made you God?".
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now ... what I'd like to draw your (and all other members) attention to specifically is the following :-

1. At 03:17pm on 6th March 2021 ... after AG had accused me of being a sociopath on YOUR "Rage Turning Into Depression" thread, on the SPITR board that YOU moderate ... I wrote "if two or more members of this forum state here that they too consider me to be a sociopath, I shall comply with your (AG's) suggestion that I leave."

2. After closing this thread ( of YOUR's, on a board moderated by YOU) at 04:14pm on 6th March 2021 - with a highly emotive comment (to me) of "who made you God?" ... You opened THIS thread on Sociopaths, at 02:44pm on March 7th.

So ... do you still believe that the opening of this thread by you was NOT an act of passive-aggression, and intended to attract negative comments from members about me?

Moreover ... have you noticed yet that AG refers to himself as "from : Wankerty Wankerson" in the threads you closed ... and has responded to that (gagging/disempowering by closing of threads) by now passive-aggressively referring to himself as "from : Rent Free in Grahma male's head".

Hence, I wonder if you/AG/Randall have even a clue about what passive-aggression actually is ... an/or the need for Moderator's to set an example to forum members by CONSCIOUSLY ensuring they themselves do not engage in it.

So ... still think you/AG/Randall have done everything right and I have done everything wrong, Ami?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

quote:
Show me where I called you a sociopath and I will apologise.

You did not call me a sociopath (and thus openly display/embrace your aggression) ... Instead, you chose the passive-aggressive option, of opening a thread inviting others to do the deed for you.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake

Posts: 3925
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted March 14, 2021 06:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Not to detract from your points Graham, but I feel the need to say that I think Randall did feel the thread was passive-aggressive as per his comment. He's pretty busy, so I don't think he sees everything that goes on here, hence the moderators being his eyes.

Moderators tend to only involve Randall if they cannot resolve the situation themselves. He then needs to read through all the interactions (and sometimes there is a lot) to get a grasp of what has went down.

Like I said, I'm not challenging your points, but I think it helps to understand that the moderators are probably more aware of what is happening in their forums than Randall is, as this is what they are entrusted with ultimately.

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Donít judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant
- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Graham
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posted March 14, 2021 07:59 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Not to detract from your points Graham, but I feel the need to say that I think Randall did feel the thread was passive-aggressive as per his comment. He's pretty busy, so I don't think he sees everything that goes on here, hence the moderators being his eyes.

Moderators tend to only involve Randall if they cannot resolve the situation themselves. He then needs to read through all the interactions (and sometimes there is a lot) to get a grasp of what has went down.

Like I said, I'm not challenging your points, but I think it helps to understand that the moderators are probably more aware of what is happening in their forums than Randall is, as this is what they are entrusted with ultimately.



I understand the point you are making here, Voix - and do not dispute it.

However, I do not want it to go unnoticed that Ami Anne DISAGREES with him about this thread being a passive-aggressive action by her ... As that disagreement is a clear indication that the LL forum ship is being torpedoed below the water line, and not quite as stable as Randall believes it to be.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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From: Sound
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posted March 14, 2021 08:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Graham:

I understand the point you are making here, Voix - and do not dispute it.

However, I do not want it to go unnoticed that Ami Anne DISAGREES with him about this thread being a passive-aggressive action by her ... As that disagreement is a clear indication that the LL forum ship is being torpedoed below the water line, and not quite as stable as Randall believes it to be.


Yes, I understand Graham.

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Donít judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant
- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Randall
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From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
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posted March 14, 2021 10:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Personally, I thought it was passive aggressive. I could be wrong. Ami says that the thread wasn't about Graham. I have always found her to truthful. I'm not a mind reader, so I give her the benefit of the doubt and take her at her word. The fact is that Ami did not mention anyone by name. ThIs thread was a constructive one, at least until it went off the rails. One could certainly assume that having AG make mention of the word "sociopath" could have just sparked an idea to start a thread on sociopathy.

Do you want to know what could have prevented all of this--aside from AG losing his temper? This all could have been averted had Graham simply stated that he didn't know about AG's mother passing when he commented in the closed thread in question. Likewise, if someone makes it known that he or she does not want advice, it would be a good idea to back away and not try to give advice again. I say that in general terms, applicable to everyone going forward.

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Graham
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posted March 15, 2021 04:36 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Personally, I thought it was passive aggressive. I could be wrong. Ami says that the thread wasn't about Graham. I have always found her to truthful. I'm not a mind reader, so I give her the benefit of the doubt and take her at her word. The fact is that Ami did not mention anyone by name. ThIs thread was a constructive one, at least until it went off the rails. One could certainly assume that having AG make mention of the word "sociopath" could have just sparked an idea to start a thread on sociopathy.

Do you want to know what could have prevented all of this--aside from AG losing his temper? This all could have been averted had Graham simply stated that he didn't know about AG's mother passing when he commented in the closed thread in question. Likewise, if someone makes it known that he or she does not want advice, it would be a good idea to back away and not try to give advice again. I say that in general terms, applicable to everyone going forward.


So, would telling Al Capone that he had a good reason to be angry have prevented him from hitting people with baseball bats?

However, I agree with your points about not offering advice to those who make it known that they do not want it.

And, I agree with you that passive-aggression prompted Ami to open this thread. But, unlike you, I suspect that she is simply not yet consciously aware of her passive-aggressive actions - and getting absolutely no help from you to change that.

So, in general terms, I'd say "eyes wide shut" is applicable to everyone going forward. ... And, avoid contact with any potential Al Capones posting threads in the forum's unmarked-minefields/safe-place-boards.

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Randall
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From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
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posted March 15, 2021 02:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think like a lawyer. What you may feel about someone's intentions is not evidence to convict.

You were forcing your advice on AG, whether you knew he lost his mother or not.

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