posted August 08, 2016 04:12 PM            

But re: mothering, I can't believe so many people have done it!!!!!! It feels like this act of rare difficulty that only three or four people in history would be able to do, like developing the polio vaccine or something.

posted August 08, 2016 04:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Yin:
Lucia,
I think you are really hard on yourself. I don't have kids so I can't really speak to how wild/normal kids are but it sounds to me like your kid is just more active than others. So what? There are plenty of toddlers out there like her and teachers should be well equipped to handle that. I understand the embarrassment but I think it's just natural. I bet that nobody blames you for it though.

You need a tribe, IMO. We're here for you. I'm sorry I'm not too active here - super busy with work and school and I've been away from LL for years now but you deserve all the support you can get. Even if I don't say anything, I have the feels for you and you have my support and admiration!

I think I just have a super soft spot for all of you Cancer-influenced people. I love you, I can't help it. (And I wish more of you loved me back )

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Thank you, Yin. I DO need a tribe. You can have as much of my drippy, whiny Cancer stellium love as you like!!

posted August 08, 2016 04:25 PM            

I am totally not judging.

I was going to make the biggest, most awful mistake of my life, which would have been worse than yours, if we can quantify it.

With this guy, I learned about Nessus/Deja.

His nessus conj one of my personal planets, exact.

I, only, avoided a life threatening mistake because God changed people's plans.

I had time to reflect and that time enabled me to save myself.

I was in a Nessus trance.

I have seen that trance many, many times.

I did not know about Astrology then.

I was a newbie.

I had another long relationship in which his Chiron conj my NN, exact.

This was a theme of pain and I mean pain and more pain and more pain.

It was a relationship with children.

Now, I will NEVER fudge on what I see.

People get mad.

I don't care if they are, really, because these things can be life and death/soul destroying etc

Few people will be really honest.

Before I do a chart, I tell people I will be honest and do they want that.

If not, I don't want to do the chart.

It is too frustrating for me( and them too lol)

However, the charts WILL play out.

No, "getting in your higher mind" will prevent this.

It is hubris.

God can make good of your situation, L.

He can give you great wisdom and great humility and I think He is

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posted August 08, 2016 04:36 PM            

I divorced because I didn't want my kids to think the marriage I had was normal, or something to strive for in their own relationships. I had a tough time letting go because I really wanted it to work, but I admitted I was powerless after 18 plus years of trying.

And...there's not a day that goes by that I dont get on their cases about doing what they need to do. They get out of hand for sure, and it doesn't matter if we are in public or not. Kids do that kind of thing. It's completely normal. People without children have a hard time understanding sometimes, but not all. Truth is, I dont really care what others think because I'm doing my very best. And I dont have to justify that to anyone. Not even their father.

I'm dating and I'm getting back to my core again, and it feels good. This positive energy can only be good for my kids too. Plus, I'm showing them an example of how a woman should be treated and for my son, how to treat a woman. Same goes for the examples I set on how to have a healthy relationship with a man. Good examples. Good energy.

It's hard doing it most of the time on my own. And the 8days I get by myself each month are needed. My advice is to find your power, because you have it, somewhere, and use it in a positive way for yourself. It spills over to the kids, it really does!

posted August 08, 2016 05:10 PM            

He loves her.

His Venus conj her ASC

His Mind is occupied with thoughts having to do with victimization(Merc conj Deja)

His Nessus conj her Moon

I would watch this.

I would keep an eye on it xoxoxoxox

What is their Comp like?

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posted August 08, 2016 06:26 PM            

Of course he loves her, she's his daughter!

He's told me she's the most important thing in his life right now.

Edited: Todd gave a reading of the composite--http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/005615.html

posted August 08, 2016 07:02 PM            

I second llewsacm's response.

I hope I am not intruding. I don't post much because I don't have much experience with astrology and am mostly here to learn.

But I DO have experience with being a single mother. Granted my daughters were 10 and 8 when I left my ex, but still... I assure you that taking care of you is more important for your daughter than anything else. When you take care of you, you will be better able to take care of her. I worried immensely over leaving their dad, because I felt I didn't have any reason other than unhappiness. He was unwilling to make changes, so I felt stuck. I then found out he was not faithful, and that was all I needed. I left.

It's been almost three years. I am dating, but I am not with anyone. I feel lonely sometimes, I see him not doing his best as a role model to his daughters, and things are not always smooth. BUT! I am happier. And now I am a better mom. We share 50-50 custody, and while I hate the thought of lost time, my time with them is so much better because of my time alone. You can utilize your time alone in whatever way you need- education, job, mental and emotional health... You will become yourself again, and you will feel stronger and healthier for your baby.

You are definitely more than able to be the best mom for her, or you wouldn't have gotten the job. It's just a matter of what you decide to do with the opportunity. You will do it, it's in you. There are times when I doubt myself, and all I have to do is ask myself what I would want for my daughters. I would never want them to settle for anything less than 10 out of 10. That means I have to hold myself to that standard too, because I am here to show them how to do it.

I believe everyone comes in to our lives with a lesson for us. Your ex has a lesson for you, sure. But so does your daughter. She's spunky and feisty and that is wonderful! Let her show you the way, and you show her the way too! My daughters keep me in check, because of them I hold myself to higher standards. I have never valued myself as much as I have in these last three years. I know what it will mean to them when they are older. In this way, they are as much my teacher as I am theirs.

posted August 08, 2016 07:21 PM            

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posted August 08, 2016 07:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lucia23:
Thank you, mereiposa. I want so much to set a good example for her.

My mother was remarkable in so many ways---way better at so many things than I am--but I grew up not wanting to be like her.

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Then this is your chance to do and be something different. I wanted to not be like my mother too, and in many ways I am not. But at my age now, I realize in many ways I am her, only better. You got this, don't doubt yourself.

posted August 08, 2016 07:37 PM            

He also said you have the potential for good fortune later this year, but that the father may try to put a damper on any happiness. And that you must focus on good energy from within in order to fully embrace what gifts will be bestowed upon you and your child.

Please don't take this the way, but it seems to me like you are overly focused on this man and the relationship he has with his daughter, instead of your own. Why? He's causing you grief, he's making you feel this, or that, why??? Because you let him. You are giving away your power, and it is not in the best interest of your daughter.

posted August 08, 2016 07:51 PM            

In terms of giving away my power, he wants one thing and I want another thing. I'm not giving away my power, I'm losing a power struggle. If i got what I wanted with him, he wouldn't be "giving away his power" to me. I wouldn't see it that way.

I actually see capitulating as just as disempowering and defeating as settling---those are my choices. I can suck it up with my tail between my legs and give up on getting what I want by trying not to want it. Or I can fight for what I want and not get it. Both of those things, to me, are just losing. Having the kind of power I want would mean wanting what I want and getting it. Then if it's wrong for me, that's when *i* would decide against it. It wouldn't be him making the decisions and me deciding whether to capitulate to them peacefully and with detachment, or struggle against them. It would be ME deciding for myself.

posted August 08, 2016 08:03 PM            

If someone beats the crap out of you, your body will hurt a lot--that's how bodies are made. Emotional bodies are like that, too. If a kid is getting bullied and humiliated at school, it's not a "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" kind of situation--it activates a series of NORMAL, unavoidable neurochemical and psychological responses in the victim.

Giving away my power would be if it was 100% my choice whether I kept my family intact or not, and I decided, well, i don't want to make that choice. And I told my baby's father, I'm leaving that decision entirely up to you.

The situation is that I genuinely don't have the power. There's something I want and a way I want it, and I don't get to decide.

posted August 08, 2016 08:49 PM            

I think the charts can be overcome with God.

He forgives us,totally, for everything and He reaches down and pulls us up and makes things right.

If you want to talk more about this, e mail me, L xoxox

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posted August 08, 2016 09:02 PM            

For me I think an important first step would be just getting to a point of acceptance---and I'm not at that point. The mental health issues slow it down even further.

posted August 08, 2016 09:04 PM            

Try and think about it this way, lets say your daughter is not involved. If it were just the two of you, your ex and you. If you were together, what would it bring to your life? Would it be better? Would you feel good about yourself?

You are asking for help with a situation that you see as impossible. One where you are making countless sacrifices. We do sacrifice as parents, yes. But when you start sacrificing your integrity and your self worth, that isn't really what you need to give her or yourself. You are stuck my dear woman. Yes, the synastry shows strong ties to him. But unhealthy as you know already. Your head may be clouded with how others perceive you as a mother, how you see yourself as one, etc. Look into yourself when you meditate and focus on what you need vs. Want. It is not easy!