posted August 09, 2016 04:11 PM            

But that Nessus-Venus energy must be familiar to him.

posted August 09, 2016 07:52 PM            

With my 8th house stellium, i'm obsessed and fascinated with people's psychological backstories. It's part of what attracts me about astrology. And with this guy, his backstory--why he is the ways he is--has eluded me completely. Even though I've spent lots of time with his family.

posted August 09, 2016 09:06 PM            

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posted August 09, 2016 09:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Venus can change degrees based on time. Why doesn't someone look up how much it may vary in a day.

---

posted August 09, 2016 09:27 PM            

This happened to my mother.

Her family was not bad but she has lots of things like sadism etc

She has Sado con a Libra Moon--exact

She has Mercury combust the Sun---can't see herself as she is

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posted August 09, 2016 09:41 PM            

Or is it possible for people with a Nessus-Venus conjunction in the synastry to have a healthy, abuse-free relationship?

posted August 10, 2016 08:18 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lucia23:
But Ami, didn't you say Nessus conjunct a personal planet (like Venus) would mean the Nessus person abusing the Venus person? That the charts can't play out a different way if the people are more conscientious or evolved or whatever? So wouldn't that mean his parents abused him, at least emotionally?

Or is it possible for people with a Nessus-Venus conjunction in the synastry to have a healthy, abuse-free relationship?

---

My opinion on this is that your ex was conditioned by his parents to see love and money in a warped manner. Maybe he had some interactions with them where money was used as a way to control love or the other way around?

posted August 10, 2016 09:51 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by llewsacm:
My opinion on this is that your ex was conditioned by his parents to see love and money in a warped manner. Maybe he had some interactions with them where money was used as a way to control love or the other way around?

I'm curious how he treats you in this respect. Does withholding of funds ever come into play? Is it associated with love or lack of it?

---

He doesn't use money in an abusive way, but I think hr has trouble integrating the needs of his Taurus Venus, so security-oriented, with his 12h Sag Moon-Neptune, which wants to disappear off to foreign lands until he gets lost in a crazy merger with the unknown.

I keep trying to figure out a good way to thoroughly answer this question without posting things I don't want on the internet, and I can't, so don't quote, I'll probably edit----

posted August 10, 2016 09:57 AM            

I believe this "higher evolved consciousness" is utter and total BS lol

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posted August 10, 2016 11:00 AM            

I did this from studying acupuncture but planets are male(yang) and female(yin) and maybe neutral like mercury, not sure there.

Now, with asteroids, you have to try to figure out yin and yang

Nessus would be yang and Dejanira would be yin cuz one DOES the action( in this case abuse) to the other( in this case the victim)

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posted August 10, 2016 11:03 AM            

That is why if a natal chart has Venus conj Nessus, the VENUS will get abused due to the receptive nature of the Venus.

If Nessus conj Mars, it is harder to say.

WHICH one is more yang/active?

I think it is Nessus.

Nessus seems to abuse the Mars.

However, I am always on alert to keep seeing what happens in actual charts.

Doing, doing, doing charts and picking minds is the only way to really learn lol

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posted August 10, 2016 11:05 AM            

The square puts the nessus underground and stuck, which is not good, because when it erupts, it could be a lot worse lol

I mean the Nessus square the Venus

I kind of wrote an article on this, but I should write more, if people are interested.

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posted August 10, 2016 11:12 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by llewsacm:
Ami, how would you interpret the nessus/venus conjunction?

---

The Nessus will be the abuser of the Venus.

Now, this is what THIS aspect means, but will the Venus have power in another part of the chart?

Maybe, but Nessus is very very powerful.

Pluto may be more powerful. I think it is, but Nessus is super powerful, too.

The thing with my research into Astrology is that it takes 1000s of charts to see what is happening and form theories.

That is why I like to do charts that take a long time.

The person tells me her/his story

I get very close to people because they become naked with me lol

My own abuse made me someone people will let down their walls with.

One girl told me it was like the most intensive therapy ever

It is my purpose in life

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posted August 10, 2016 11:14 AM            

That way, it is a wonderful experience for both of us.

I do charts out of pure love and nothing else lol

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posted August 10, 2016 11:32 AM            

It is kind of like your questions

I am having a lot of abuse problems with my boyfriend.He, in turn, has been abused much.

I have Dejanira, Pholus and Dark Moon Lilith conjunct my descendant

He has Nessus conjunct my Jupiter, which is also conjunct my Nessus

His Nessus is conjunct his Ascendant. Chiron in Scorpio is in the First House

I would like to know, especially, about Dejanira conjunct my Descendant.

I have had abuse all my life.

Also, would Nessus conjunct my Jupiter make me a heartbreaker?

I can't find anything on this.

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posted August 10, 2016 11:42 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
L

I believe this "higher evolved consciousness" is utter and total BS lol

---

I know, that's why I want more of an explanation of how it all works.

100% of us have Nessus and Venus in our charts. From what I understand of what you've written so far, a Nessus-Venus conjunction means that the Nessus person will abuse the Venus person, no matter what the two people are like--what the rest of their charts are like--or how they manifest and work with their natals in real life.

Therefore, it means that not only did both parents abuse my ex, but everyone else in the world born around their birthdays will abuse him too. Presumably this only applies to people who meet each other?

I want to get a better understanding of how this works. To me, it seems like not only would people manifest their charts in different levels and with different levels of creativity, compassion, responsibility, integrity and conscientiousness----but also that statistically, everyone with Nessus in our charts will have it on someone's Venus.

So I want to understand how it works. It can't be both ways.

EDITED to add: For more clarity for everyone---in my own chart/life/synastry, my Venus-Nessus conjunction with my ex with me as Venus played out EXACTLY the way Ami Anne had described in her writings on the subject---EXACTLY.

But I'm still curious because this isn't a rare aspect, and inevitably it would play out differently in different kinds of relationships.

posted August 10, 2016 11:46 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by llewsacm:
Have you thought about asking his parents for financial support for their granddaughter? That might take some stress off of you. It's a thought.

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posted August 10, 2016 12:05 PM            

I will take your question and write an article for you and other people who have the same question because someone else asked me the same thing.

I am just gonna take it off here, without your name and put it on my website and write an article on it.

Is that OK?

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posted August 10, 2016 12:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lucia23:
My ex has a Sado-Mercury conjunction.

---

Wow L
How close? How did it play out? Was he actively a sadist or just liked to read about it lol

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posted August 10, 2016 01:02 PM            

This synastry is mostly negative (not counting Asc of MC of either chart since they would need to be verified first).

I count 21 negative synastry aspects and only 15 positives. There are two aspect clusters that are potential deal-breakers:

- Your Venus square his Mars-Saturn-Pluto!
No one should go into a relationship with that synastry factor unless you want to 'sample' a bit of hell.

- Your Saturn contra-parallel (CP) his Jupiter-Uranus-Neptune. This one understandably escapes notice for those not trained in looking at declinations.

Below is my summary of this synastry.

Lucia23 approx natal with his:

Sun 21LEO46 - 14N15 13Ari - 5N07
Moo 11CAN40 - 20N51 20Sag - 22S23
Mer 19LEO08 - 16N43 21Ari - 8N17
Ven 29CAN58 - 20N29 18Tau - 17N56
Mar 11VIR34 - 8N09 28Ari - 10N41
Jup 15PIS37 - 6S58 10SAG52 - 21S10
Sat 13CAN58 - 22N11 2SCO30 - 9S42
Ura 24LIB29 - 8S59 8SAG56 - 21S42
Nep 6SAG51 - 19S53 29SAG14 - 22S12
Plu 5LIB03 - 12N57 28LIB34 - 5N27
Nod 17SAG20 - 22S51 28Gem06 - 23N26
==================================

Aspects:
her sun trine his moon +
............ sq his ven +
her moon sq his sun (-)
.............. qnx his jup +
her moon CP his jup ++
her mer trine his moon, mer ++
her ven sq his mars, sat, plu = (-/-/-)X
........... qnx his nep (-)
........... cp his jup +
her mars qnx his sun (-)
............... sq his Jup-Ura (-/-)
................ P his Mer (-)
her jup sex his ven +
her sat sq his sun (-)
........... sex his ven +
........... CP his moon (-)
............ CP his jup-ura-nep (-/-/-)X
her ura sex his moon (?/-)
........... opp his mer, mars (-/-)
............<4°05'> his pluto (-)
............ CP his mer (-)
............. P his sat (-)
her nep <4°> his jup +
her n.nod conj/P his moon +
............... trine his sun-mer ++
............... qnx his ven (-)
.............. P his nep (-)
............. P his s.nod +
---------------------------

Totals:
(+) 15
(-) 21

Certainly a relationship cannot be reduced to numbers alone. However, in synastry we want a clear majority of positive aspects if the relationship is to have a chance, and be harmonious and happy. Also, when there is not a clear majority of positive aspects and there is at least one aspect cluster that is a potential deal-breaker, and then another, we know the outcome will not be good unless there is enormous willingness on the part of both, or if there is at least one very patient saintly partner.

Asteroids do not determine healthy synastry. They are sub-stories at best.

You may have run up against the reality limits of the Leonine tendency for believing that passionate feelings of love are enough to fuel the relationship through anything. With Moon [20.8° north] parallel Venus [10,5° north] factored into this, we can see that you are capable of strong feelings of love and affection. However, with these contra-parallel Neptune [19.9° south], we will understand that often what you feel inside does not match the relational or external reality. Neptune gives way to doubt, even hesitation, but the intuition for how/when affections are appropriately placed has to be learned, probably through some hard experiences, but one way or another rather than hoping or wishing. Moon-Venus CP Neptune can indicate one's potential to be deceptive or be deceived, but it is less about deception itself and more about relating to the actual other person rather than an image you've placed over them. An image of what you'd like them to be, want them to become, or hope they are; sometimes charmers feed workable language into this scenario to tell you what you want to hear.

Ultimately, there is no astrological answer to this relationship where hurt is concerned. The answer is forgiveness of what is done, and healing of the emotions you've been carrying. Feelings of ongoing anger, violence are clues that you stuffed things for a while, put up with it too long, evidence boundaries have been violated, etc.

Examining the inheritance of such things, and analyzing it will not accomplish anything either. Divorcing yourself from those viral beliefs and patterns can be done, and that will allow you to deal with such familial/legally established connections until such time you don't have to any longer.

Ask yourself: What were the negative beliefs or patterns you had that allowed this negative relationship in the first place?
and... What can I do to change this and heal?

YOU hold the answers, not an astrologer or a chart. Persist until you have it. Ask before you sleep at night and keep asking.

YOUR inner wisdom knows and WILL speak to you!