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posted October 22, 2008 08:18 PM         

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meta

You know I love you, right?

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posted October 22, 2008 08:19 PM         

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meta
Rafe's armour is his ego. And he's not willing to shed that - no matter how much he really wants someone to look into the depths of his soul. When I look at Rafe I see deep sexual potential - someone who at their soul is a lover - but, he can't relinquish control of himself. He can't give himself or of himself. He's untouchable. There's always this sense of never being able to get close enough. He'll core into you - go right to your depths but it would never be equal. He prides himself on being to get that deep into a woman. It's his power over them. He won't relinquish that.

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I don't believe that. And i'm not saying that because i'm silly and want to believe that i can change him. Putting me aside, or taking me out of the equation altogether, i firmly believe that Ralph isn't like that. When you look at him you see ego, vanity, shallowness, and an austere nature. When i look at him i see someone who has been heard but never really listened to. Ralph has never felt that security or that trust with anyone, for whatever reason. He is waiting to unload onto someone. He is waiting to be able to give up that control and just be open. He cannot do that. There is something lacking. I'm not saying i am the only person who can do this, i'm not even saying i CAN do this, but i have a distinct feeling that he wants this. More than words can define. His heart i heavy. He can't carry his burdens alone. Someone else needs to take some wait off of him. And whoever that person is will be his Sun, Moon, and stars.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:21 PM         

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meta

You're right. I don't see enough depth in Rafe to see that his heart would be that heavy.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:21 PM         

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meta
You know I love you, right?

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You know i love you more, right?

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posted October 22, 2008 08:24 PM         

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meta

I think, if Rafe has inner pain it's the self-indulgent variety. "Look at me, I'm a wounded puppy and I need female attention. Let me dip myself into you and I'll be fine." No - he makes my skin crawl. Rafe has no warmth. Zip. People have warmth - he just doesn't for me.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:24 PM         

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Jeremy. That just means you're not the right person for him. That's all. He can have that - but that dynamic is not between you. If you want to heal him - he'll take it and suck you dry. He's a bottomless pit of need. I love JJI. Think he's fabulous - as an actor and as a connection - I've always felt something for/with him. But he'd suck you dry. He really would. Very needy.

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You're definitely right. I am not that person. I cannot fill that, and i am comfortable with that. Well, of course i wish i could help, but i'm not going to sulk because i am not his healer.

I wouldn't mind that though. I wouldn't mind him exhausting my energy. I'd never deny him. I'd always give and give and give and never expect anything in return. I think that's a Venus in Cancer thing. We can't help but keep pouring water into the bucket with holes in the bottom.

You wouldn't feel compelled to try to help RDJ if RDJ was like JJI?

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posted October 22, 2008 08:27 PM         

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You know i love you more, right?

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We'll call it even. I think you're pretty spectacular - awesome.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:29 PM         

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You wouldn't feel compelled to try to help RDJ if RDJ was like JJI?

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There's only so much you can help someone. They have to help themselves otherwise it's a futile task. I'm sure RDJ knows that. You can love and support - but ultimately that person has to heal and help themselves.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:32 PM         

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You're right. I don't see enough depth in Rafe to see that his heart would be that heavy.

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I don't think you would want to see a heavy heart in Ralph. I think that you would never forgive yourself if you empathized with him or invested any real emotion in him. He repells you. He leaves a bad taste in your mouth. He simply rubs you the wrong way.

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I think, if Rafe has inner pain it's the self-indulgent variety. "Look at me, I'm a wounded puppy and I need female attention. Let me dip myself into you and I'll be fine." No - he makes my skin crawl. Rafe has no warmth. Zip. People have warmth - he just doesn't for me.

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I'm amazed at how differntly we feel about him (and others). We receive such different energy from individuals. It's weird.

I don't think he is vain. At all. I think that his suffering would be in earnest. He wouldn't be the type to say, "Hey, look at me, i'm so sensitve." I don't think he's all that proud of how emotional he is. Especially since he's so controlled. He's looking for emancipation. He's looking for someone to unleash him. For an outlet. For a true partner.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:34 PM         

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We'll call it even. I think you're pretty spectacular - awesome.

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I think that you're immensely nurturing and humble- for an Aries

But no, you touch my heart, beloved, you make my day brighter. You make everyone's day more meaningful. You're just humility in woman-form.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:37 PM         

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There's only so much you can help someone. They have to help themselves otherwise it's a futile task. I'm sure RDJ knows that. You can love and support - but ultimately that person has to heal and help themselves.

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I think that person has to WANT to be healed and helped. All in all you cannot do everything. But you can change someone's life. You can make a fierce impact.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:38 PM         

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I don't think Rafe is looking for someone to unleash him. I think he's content being in control. He doesn't have the depth of feeling inside himself to fully give himself or surrender to someone/something else. There's always a cord holding him back - he just can't let go. Look at his performances. Immaculate - immaculately controlled. When he says "I'm jealous of the rain" he could have said that with an inner fire. Of course, he may have delivered to the director's request - but.... there's no soul in those beautiful words. No yearning for her. And yes, I know that's his character - and he's an actor - he's supposed to show that desire for her in the breath and intonation - in every gesture and tone. He doesn't. Because he can't let go. That's how I see him. He likes his control. And he uses it to control others and their dynamics and encounters. I'm sure he's an excellent lover - technically - but there's no connection. He's just too far away.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:39 PM         

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Rafe feels reptillian to me. I'm waiting for him to unzip his Rafe suit and there is a big lizard underneath.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:40 PM         

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I think that person has to WANT to be healed and helped. All in all you cannot do everything. But you can change someone's life. You can make a fierce impact.

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Definitely. But if you try to force your way when you're unwanted, they'll resent you for that.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:44 PM         

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Humility is what you learn from making far too many unwise choices.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:47 PM         

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I don't think Rafe is looking for someone to unleash him. I think he's content being in control. He doesn't have the depth of feeling inside himself to fully give himself or surrender to someone/something else. There's always a cord holding him back - he just can't let go.

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Exactly. He IS controlled. He cannot let go. What's the scariest thing to someone who is that controlled?- Losing control of course. You say look at his characters, but there is a pattern in all of the characters he chooses. All the parts, the roles, the movies, the plays. In each and everyone the character is controlled, which represents Ralph. And the character is faced with someone or something that threatens that control. And through much struggle and internal battling he nevertheless gives up that control, he releases himself. Then, by the end, he loses. He loses his lover, he loses whatever he gave himself up for. In each and every role. The English Patient, The Constant Gardener, The End of the Affair, Wuthering Heights, Onegin, whatever. Life imitates art. He is trying to satisfy this NEED by exercising it through his work. Obviously he isn't fulfilled or else he wouldn't be so drawn to situations like this.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:49 PM         

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Spot on. Brilliant observation. But Rafe's living through his characters. So he doesn't need to live it in real life. And he has the security of having it scripted so he doesn't have to wander into the unknown emotionally. He can't go there. Too much fear. It's easier to pretend to feel pain than to feel it genuinely.

EDIT: Rafe's NOT a method actor.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:50 PM         

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Definitely. But if you try to force your way when you're unwanted, they'll resent you for that.

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Yes, undoubtedly. But, in JJI's case, i think he would want someone.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:51 PM         

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JJI. Yeah, I think you're right. It's the thrill of someone wanting to get to him that badly. Again, it's ego. It's not emotive or genuine. He'd be extremely flattered.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:54 PM         

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I think acting is where Rafe goes to feel his feelings. He doesn't have a channel for them in real life. He wants to feel a certain way but is confused so he learns about himself and life through his characters.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:55 PM         

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Spot on. Brilliant observation. But Rafe's living through his characters. So he doesn't need to live it in real life. And he has the security of having it scripted so he doesn't have to wander into the unknown emotionally. He can't go there. Too much fear. It's easier to pretend to feel pain than to feel it genuinely.

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But imagine if he was met by someone who threatened that control in HIS life like in his characters'? Imagine. I think the reason he hasn't exercised this is because he IS afraid life will imitate art and he will give himself up to this person and he will lose. Period. He will lose and be left with deep, infected wounds. I just can't help but feel that if there were such a person- again, not talking about me- that this caged, beautiful, vast spirit would be released from him. He would be set free in a way.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:56 PM         

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Rafe doesn't embody his characters. He's an actor playing a role. Daniel Day-Lewis, even RDJ - they bring life to the character, essence so you're drawn into it and feel it - not just sitting in a seat watching it from an external perspective. When he's making love onscreen it's not enough to make you place yourself underneath him - there are other actors who do that far better - where you just put yourself in that place. He doesn't do that for me.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:56 PM         

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Humility is what you learn from making far too many unwise choices.

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LOL. Funny girl

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posted October 22, 2008 08:57 PM         

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LOL. Funny girl

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I wasn't joking.

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posted October 22, 2008 08:58 PM         

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JJI. Yeah, I think you're right. It's the thrill of someone wanting to get to him that badly. Again, it's ego. It's not emotive or genuine. He'd be extremely flattered.

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Damn egoes... why can't they just get over it??

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