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Author Topic:   Completely screwed?
ScarlettSoul
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Posts: 128
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Registered: Apr 2006

posted May 08, 2007 03:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Hi all,

My heart is heavy and I'm hoping someone may have some insight to share on my situation... here goes.

I'm an aries woman... and I have had a very close male friend - a pisces man - for the last year and a half. When we first met, we clicked instantly and he told me he had a "crush" on me. I did the same, but at the time felt it was more of a mutual "friendship" crush. He's a person that walks in the room, charms the pants off of anyone and everyone (male and female), and it's impossible NOT to be drawn to him. Anyway, we had a mutual group of friends we all spent time with, and quickly myself and Mr. Pisces slipped into the "Friend Zone". Our relationship became a truly beautiful friendship. The word I would use to describe how I feel about him is LOVE. Pure and uncomplicated. I adore him.

We have endlessly interesting conversations, spirited debates, and both enjoy new experiences and the unexpected more than the average joe. We talk about everything with each other - relationships and things we're looking for included. I'm not his ideal physical type from what it sounds (he tends to gravitate toward saucy latinas... I'm blonde hair green eyed... though he's had a serious gf who was a blonde southern girl), but emotionally and intellectually (which he says are very important to him) I'm everything he's looking for.

This pisces is in many ways a mystery to me. No matter how close we are, I tell him there are moments where I look at him and think I know nothing about him at all. He's a complex person who marches to his own drummer, but is magnetic to the point that just about ANYONE will fall in love with his exuberance and zest for life within moments of meeting him.

Lately, a very strange thing is happening to me. It began the day I went to see him run a marathon - a long standing goal he's had for himself. I saw him run by, and something in me turned upside down and was never quite the same. I looked at him like "WOW... that's not my friend, that is a MAN... and I want to be with him." From that day on, there was a shift in me that I have been fighting. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I AM IN LOVE with him.

It's been a struggle... I want to be with him, be near him, to touch him... but I feel that the more I am with him, the deeper invested I am getting. It's scary to fall in love with someone that may have ABSOLUTELY no romantic feelings for me. Plus the risk of telling him could destroy our relationship. With that said, I feel that he's been "swimming" around me more lately, and there have been subtle clues that he's wanting to be nearer to me and he is trusting me more and more, which is a huge deal for him. I don't know what to make of it.

Part of me wants to rush in and just kiss him, but part of me fears he would be completely weirded out by it and it would change things forever. He's notorious for NOT making moves on women that he likes, to a fault actually. So I'm not sure if that's what's happening? Or if he just has no attraction to me beyond friendship? And there is even another wild card... despite the fact he's had many fulfilling relationships with women, I have to admit there are times I've asked myself if he could be gay...

I'm lovesick. All I want to do is be with him, and when we part ways, I'm thinking about the next time I'll be with him. I'm looking at him and thinking about what it would be like to kiss his lips, his neck... ugh. It's horrible.

Here's our info - could anyone help me please? Is there anything here that stands out as relevent??? I would be EVER so grateful!!

Me:
4/13/77
11:53am
Juneau, AK

Him:
3/6/75
Time unknown
San Fernando Valley, CA

Has anyone ever been through such a beautifully miserable experience?? Any and all input would be eternally appreciated.

Scarlett

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MoonDreamer81
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Posts: 868
From: Heart of Dixie
Registered: Apr 2007

posted May 08, 2007 04:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonDreamer81     Edit/Delete Message
When you truly fall in love,there is always risk involved!But sometimes you just have to take a risk,or you may end up regretting it later.When you are older you will more likely regret the things you didn't do,as opposed to the things you did.I'm not much help on reasding charts,but I have heard you shouldn't date someone one sign away.This is all very basic though,and true love can overcome any bad aspects if the people are willing to work at it.Good Luck!!

------------------
S:Taurus
ASC:Gemini
M:Scorpio

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izodesmozina
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Posts: 1401
From: Hell. I brought cookies!
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posted May 08, 2007 06:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Easy for you so say, Moon. Your Virgo already said the "L" word, you're standing on safe ground. But for the rest of us girls still stuck in uncertainty, taking a risk is not that easy... (can't believe an Aries is saying this to a Taurean... LOL).
Scarlett, I have no idea why, but I felt like I HAD to check your charts... Dunno why, but sometimes I get "feelings" and feel like I just got to go with them. Anyway, here's the synastry:

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izodesmozina
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posted May 08, 2007 06:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
[I hope my other post is not lost!]

From the look of your aspects in the synastry, I would say there's no way he's not into you! But life can be complicated... I am pretty cautious in trusting astrology 100% with this. Anything can happen, beautiful synasties can be ruined by reckless human behaviour.
BUT:
-his Karma conj your Amor
-his Eros conj your Osiris and Asc - no wonder you're attracted to the man!!
-his Amor and Mars conj your DC... phew! On FIRE!
-those Union conjunction - with Uranus, might be a relationship started unexpectedly or suddenly... and your Union conj his Isis... just beautiful!
-Venus conj Venus is wonderful, I've had this with somebody, it's very nice for affectionate intimacy
-his Juno conj your Sun ~ Juno conj Sun or Moon usually points to the ideal marriage partner . It is also fair to say that it should have been your Moon, not your Sun, but I personally think it's still VERY GOOD.
-keep your eye on that Venus-Pluto opposition DOUBLE WHAMMY. Ok, with that one there's no way he wants to be "just friends". It's way to hot. But make sure it doesn't turn to obsession. But then again, you both have that natally. They are also part of a Grand Cross... so it might be tricky and difficult to handle.

Ok, this is what strikes me about it for now. If I'll get different vibes, I'll come back to share them. It looks very passionate hehe - that's my conclusion. Good luck, fellow Aries!!

Izo

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izodesmozina
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posted May 08, 2007 06:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Ok, I just realized that double Venus-Pluto opposition is also a part of a kite, with your Saturn/Asc and his Neptune; I imagine this softenes things a little bit (wow, you guys also have Venus trine Neptune DOUBLE WHAMMY! ~I'm crazy about dw's , ignore my enthuziasm~ That is just soooooooooooooo... great, wonderful! I love this aspect! It gives you the feeling you found "the one" - and he's feeling it too, for sure!!!)
I also found a mystic rectangle between your Merc, his Saturn, your Uranus and his Moon (he's got a Cappy Moon AND an opposition to Saturn???????!!!!!! Boy, is he gonna play it safe!! This man is so afraid of rejection, I sincerely doubt he would make a move if he's truly interested in you - and after seeing all of these, I think he is... So you're gonna have to do the Aries thing and take the initiative ).
Wow, a really interesting synastry for sure! Glad I trusted my instincts!

~Ok, a little thing on your Moons. I have a Capricorn Moon, like him, and I've dealt with Pisces Moons (like my best friend, for example, who has your placements)... not the best idea. I mean, I can be very cold at times... insensitive even... and Pisces Moons are needy, they need empathy, compassion, for you to be there and feel their pain... while I just wanted them to stop wining and find some reasonable solution. I imagine with that Saturn opposition he has, he's not very far off... so if he gets cold with you, don't take it personally!

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 08, 2007 08:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Izo,

Wow. This was SO kind of you to figure these things out - this far surpasses my novice understanding of astrology! I'm not even really sure what "eros" and those things mean, but they sound perfectly lovely! This is WONDERFUL to hear, I can't thank you enough!! It's so strange about your ex best friend... (maybe there's a message in this somewhere for you as well?? hmmm)

I feel absolutely encouraged... though I'm going to continue treading carefully until I see the right moment. Your observation that he is CAUTIOUS in love and afraid to trust others couldn't be MORE true. He comes off as confident, gregarious, warm, the life of the party that doesn't care what anyone thinks... but he's struggled his whole life with severe dyslexia. He's been told he was "stupid" by teachers from a young age and was asked to leave a high school that he was very active in... it was absolutely devastating to him. He's since been tested and his IQ is through the roof... he's anything but stupid. He went to a special school to learn to function with this level of dyslexia and does quite well in the world! Needless to say, he's been very scarred by the rejection he's faced from teachers over the years (they were all women teachers) and I believe his fear of rejection has kept him from truly letting go in love. He'd never admit it, but he's still scarred and not completely healed.

I've seen him interact with girls that seem his "perfect" type on paper, but it's amazing how quickly he'll find something wrong with them to end things before they ever get off the ground. He's a relentless flirt in social situations, but when the girl shows signs back, he's totally uninterested.

I fear that despite all the positive aspects, I could face this same kind of rejection out of his fear of letting anyone in... funny enough, the other night we were at a bar together and this woman sat next to us claiming to be a psychic... she saw him sing aloud to Frank Sinatra for about 20 seconds and told him: "You have a big insecurity you hide from people, you are afraid to let anyone past this wall that you have up". He totally rejected this. Later she pulled me aside and said someone "unexpected" was coming in to my life, and she said that I was going to feel more comfortable with this man than I have with any man in a long time... she just kept saying "comfort" and that "beautiful things" were going to be happening for me this year. She also said to me that my pisces was going to have some kind of revelation in the next 60 days that was going to rock his world, but that I shoudl just keep this to myself..

THEN... there's this part of me wondering if MAYBE he's gay... not because I think he's gay if he's not into me, but I have seen him push away woman after woman during the course of our friendship. He's had women offer themselves up on a silver platter for the evening, so to speak, and he refuses to go with it... he says he can't have sex with someone he has no feelings for. Don't get me wrong, I think this is perfectely LOVELY... but I have never met another man like this in my life!

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izodesmozina
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posted May 09, 2007 02:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Scarlett,

He's not gay LOL. I personally find his way of acting completely understandable . I am like that, the guy I'm interested in is sort of like that... Many people are like that. It's amazing what rejection during childhood and as a teenager does to a person (one of the reasons I want to do pediatric psychiatry). I imagine his life wasn't all that pretty, struggling with dyslexia... Capricorn Moons usually have a bad relationships with women (depending on aspects, I'm working on posting his natal chart so I can have it in front of my eyes and see), AND especially his mother - did he tell you anything about her?
Another thing you need to understand and accept is that he has trust issues. Yes, he might lack trust in himself (though you wouldn't say that because he SEEMS sociable... but well, with Capricorn influenced ppl, it's all about the impressions they can give you... That is all they are interested in; they keep their REAL emotions to themselves, wouldn't be vulnerable in front of somebody, no way, not in a million years! We don't cry in public, we don't touch people, we rarely let our soft side out... All a person can see is a mask, probably has been putting it up from childhood... Capricorn Moons are, no doubt about it, emotionally challanged ). Ok, now back to the trust issues - he also doesn't trust OTHER people... You might think he does, but I sincerely doubt it. He is probably very afraid to trust somebody completely and if he starts to care about you (really, really care about you), he will test you over and over again... because he is SO afraid you will fail. So you need to show him you are to be trusted, you are reliable, you will not let him down when he needs you the most... And the best way you can do this is by letting time say his word, he won't be impressed by words, he needs FACTS, proofs.

That is funny, about the psychic lady... and seems quite accurate. I wonder if it will play out.
Ok, here is his chart:

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 09, 2007 03:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Ha... well, for my sake, I do hope you're right about him not being gay!!! I'm not sure how to interpret this chart to be totally honest, but as long as you dont see anything that could indicate this tendency, I'll let that go for the time being!!

Everything else you are saying about him is spot-on. He has a strained relationship with his mom... he tries very hard to be a good son to her but she's a bit of a drama queen from what it sounds like. He has a difficult relationship with his sister as well... thinks she's a spoiled brat princess (it's true, she's 33 years old, a psychologist, but still lives at home and demands the family takes care of all things for her). His mother tends to rely on him for EVERYTHING... he listens to her complain about the dad and the other siblings, she plays the victim, she guilt trips. It's a very dysfunctional family, but they are all very close at the same time. I do know that it causes a great deal of struggle for him though.

As for the trust issues... boy, I mean I have them as much as the next guy... but come on!! What do I do with this kid??? What can I do to break through and show him he can trust me? What exactly does this cappy moon look for that will equal "trustworthy" in his mind? I listen to him, I respect his thoughts (even when I challenge them), I keep his secrets, I don't judge him, and I encourage him. What more? Is it just a thing where he'll slowly start to let his guard down and one magical day he might trust me?? Or is there not a whole lot I can do? (About a week ago we were talking about relationships, and he said that he doesnt date casually because if he lets himself liek someone, he jumps in with both feet, willy-nilly, and basically loses all control... and that scares him to death).

So, I'm trying to pull back a little and see if he will "come after me" at all... I think I have made myself too available and I'm feeling way too vulnerable so I need to pull in the reins on myself, even though it's killing me minute to minute to hold myself back. (Do you think this is a mistake? Is this going to make him feel less interested in trusting me?)

Yesterday I did NOT call him at all... he called once and didn't leave a message. Then today he emailed me an article on happiness that was very interesting, and I wrote "thanks, what a great article!" and that was it.

I have been DYING... let me just emphasize DYING to hear his voice today... but I PROMISED myself that he would need to step it up at this point because my heart is on the line and it's just NOT safe for me to be carrying on like this until I know where he stands... so tonight I was watching The Secret for the first time, thinking about him the whole time, and sure enough the phone rang, and it was my pisces... he must have felt me thinking about him.

What, in your cappy moon opinion is the best course of action from here???

BTW -Thanks again for everything! You are awesome!

------------------
Scarlett

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izodesmozina
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posted May 09, 2007 03:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Ok, I am looking at his chart and can't tell WHY on earth he would have a dyslexia... His Mercury is very well aspected!! Weird... From what you said, I would have expected a bad aspect from Saturn.
His Sun makes a square to Neptune ~ this can go from the need to sacrifice himself for something "bigger" to escape from reality... His Moon is pretty afflicted - square to Venus (bad relationships with women), opposition to Saturn (censorship of emotions), square to Pluto (very intense and deep feelings... not always positive...), square to Ceres (I have this too and I always felt like my mother didn't quite care to nurture me). His Venus is also squared by Saturn... this is kinda nasty for romance. And there's the Chiron conjunction ~ I have this one, too; in my case, I want to do everything in my power to please my partner or my loved ones... it also makes me prone to be taken advantage of . Oh, and the Pluto opposition - you have this one, too, you can relate. The Mars-Uranus square is said to be very difficult for marital relationships. Saturn is making a square to Chiron, as well, making things even MORE difficult... The wounds run very deep and he probably hides them from himself, not just the world... He might have low self-esteem, even though he doesn't seem to. There's also the Chiron-Juno conjunction, which to me suggests that there is hope. If he opens up and marries that person, he might have a chance to heal. And (hehe) this is where your Sun comes up .

I think your Saturn conjunct your Leo rising is one of the best things that could have happened to you. I see you are pretty cautious and that is a good thing. I am very curious about the Pisces Moon - how on earth can you blend it with all that fire?

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izodesmozina
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posted May 09, 2007 03:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
I think your Saturn conj your Ascendant gives you a lot of Capricornian traits - this is very good, it will help you understand your Pisces better, 'cause he has a lot of Saturn aspects... and some difficult ones).
I don't know what MORE you could do to prove to him you are *safe*. I have wondered about this with my man, too... I also don't think it's appropriate for me to tell you what to do - I think you should do what you FEEL it is right, even if it's against all logic. Stay true to yourself, no matter what.
But from what I've seen in his charts and your synastry, you guys have potential but he IS very afraid of it. You seem pretty frightened yourself (can't blame you, love is a scary thing!). And you did say he told you he has a crush on you... well, I think he kinda ment it! There is attraction between you guys for sure and my guess is that it goes way beyond friendship. But a Cappy Moon is pretty withdrawn, he will not make a move unless he is sure you like him... and we always doubt people like us (what on earth could they see in us? It's the rejection we felt growing up that doesn't let us believe we are worthy of such consideration).
I wonder what his Asc might be... You said he is afraid he'll lose control if he gets involved (hmmm... do you think he might be sending you subliminal messages? Like "I could lose my head with you and this scares me very much - reassure me I'm safe" or something?). He has a Pisces Sun and a Capricorn Moon... that doesn't make him impulsive at all... so I'm thinking he might have a fire or air rising. Probably fire... that would be good for the two of you. Or maybe I'm wrong about this. Try to find out his birth time, if you can.

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 11, 2007 01:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Izo,

Thank you again for all your thoughtful insights. I have really taken to heart the things you've said over the last couple of days, especially since you've had experience with such similar aspects in your own life. The parallels are strange, indeed!

As for me blending my pisces moon with all that fire... I have to say, people that know me are always like, "YOU'RE an aries???". I'm a bit mild mannered for an aries... I like to let people underestimate me and then I surprise them. I think in work I'm very aries, I can tend to be bossy with loved ones without realizing it, I tend to believe I'm right about 99% percent of the time (hard to admit it, but true)... and I do not always think things through and can be pretty impulsive in MOST ways... except when it comes to love. I had a very long, painful relationship when I was a young ram and have been pretty gun-shy ever since. My pisces moon makes me a deep thinker, compassionate, open-minded, a little cautious, dreamy, and when I feel pain... BOY... I can really let it overtake me when I'm not careful. As for the Leo rising... well besides the fact that I have good hair (ha) I don't really know much about how that's supposed to show. I do think I have a LOT of pride and would rather die than let someone think I'm weak. Sometimes I *guess* I can be self-absorbed like your friend, thinking the world is out to get me... but from what I know about Leo, I'm not sure I feel super connected to that part of me.

I had a couple follow-up questions as well as comments for you as well, if you'll indulge me! You mentioned my pisces' Venus is squared by Saturn, and that being nasty for romance. What do you mean by this? Nasty in which way?

quote:
"I think your Saturn conjunct your Leo rising is one of the best things that could have happened to you."
~Is this in relationship to him? Or just in general for myself?

quote:
"You said he is afraid he'll lose control if he gets involved (hmmm... do you think he might be sending you subliminal messages? Like "I could lose my head with you and this scares me very much - reassure me I'm safe" or something?)."
- MAYBE. We had a good one-on-one last night. The other night we went out with a group and there were a couple girls there VERY interested in him. We talked about them last night... they are SO his type but he's still looking for something wrong with them. It was ALMOST like he wanted to see if I would get jealous by bringing them up... but I was very cool and didnt. It then came up that I had gone out for coffee with a guy I met and he about fell off his chair... I could tell he was JEALOUS but trying hard to hide it!!! He'd look off into the distance and repeat this guys' name like he was mulling it over and not sure how he felt about it. He wants to meet him. Anyway... long story, but the essence of the evening was that I think for the first time I felt we were BOTH sending messages to each other that we were not that comfortable picturing each other with someone else.

I'm trying to do what feels right and not play games. So, this morning I woke up thinking about him... it was the greatest feeling... like magic and rainbows and unicorns... so I wrote him a good morning email to tell him I was thinking about him, and that I was so grateful he was in my life, and how much I appreciate and enjoy him. He responded,

"Showboat, (that's one of my nicknames)

What a warm note. The feelings are mutual."

DON'T I WISH THIS MEANT WHAT I WANT IT TO!!! ha!

Anyway, we'll see each other tonight. (Hopefully not in a group!!!) I'll keep you posted. I am still working on how to get his birth time from him without him knowing what I'm up to (he he). I'll keep you posted...

And thanks again for all your thoughts!

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izodesmozina
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posted May 13, 2007 11:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Hi, Scarlett!

[BTW, what made you take up this nick name? It is very beautiful!]

1. Venus-Saturn square: I was talking about Pisces guy's chart. This is the nasty part:

"Venus square Saturn or Venus opposition Saturn: *You are serious and find it difficult to enjoy yourself in a lighthearted, open and playful way with others. You rarely do something purely for pleasure, and can be very close-fisted and parsimonious. Perhaps due to painful separations in your early life, you are very cautious about becoming close to people and sharing your feelings. Though you crave love and affection, intimacy is difficult for you. You may become romantically involved with people who do not value you or treat you well. You need to learn to love and value yourself before you will find happiness in love.

#You may find that your best sexual relationships are with individuals who are significantly older or younger than yourself. The role of teacher is so significant in your life that it may pervade your love life. You will need to overcome a sense of reserve or inhibition to deepen your spiritual connection." (from cafeastrology.com, but their interps are always focused on the positive side... That's why I like them hehe).

2. Your Saturn conjunct your Leo rising: good in general and good for this relationship in particular. I've seen what your combo can do. Trust me, having the restraining Saturn on your Asc is a blessing!! And it will help you with the Pisces guy, because his Saturn makes a lot of aspects and it is pretty influent in his chart.

3. Hehe, I do believe your man is sending signals to you. And yeah, he might try to make you jealous to get a reaction out of you, but I personally liked the fact that he finds flaws in other girls (the message is, in my opinion: "they don't interest me as much as you do"). He obviously thinks highly of you. The fact that you guys spend so much time together is another thing you should take into consideration . Plus his reaction to the thought of you with another man...
He is pretty much an introvert, so with this type of guys, you should check the facts, the little things that show his appreciation, because he might not show it openly because of his fear of rejection. The guy I am interested in acts pretty similar. I know, it would be nice to have some certainty, but... if signs are all you have right now, make the best of them! He probably expresses his feelings better non-verbally or in a more subtle fashion.
Please let me know how things are going. Take care and good luck!!

Izo

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I am an artist and my life is my masterpiece

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 14, 2007 02:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Izo,

Thanks for your reply!

I chose Scarlett b/c ever since I was a little girl, I've always loved Gone With the Wind's Scarlett O'Hara. She's the epitome of a charming, intellegent, and fiercely brave aries woman... but don't forget stubborn, arrogant, self-centered and sometimes, a downright ***** . (There's a lot in her I can relate to!) Plus I love the color scarlet. I'm glad you like the name!


Also, thanks so much for clarifying things for me, I do appreciate it!

I would love to think he's sending me signals. But what do you make of this:

The other night, he invites me out (I never knwo if it's just us or if he's invited other peeps - he's mr. social so he has a million friends). I met up with him and his 2 other friends (who I'm also pretty close to) and it's just the four of us. They proceed to tell me about every hot girl in the room, etc. They have told me over and over that they let me in on "circle of trust" info... meaning that although I'm a woman, they share what might otherwise be classified info. I'm as close to one of the boys as one can get.... not so sure that's a good thing. Anyway, my pisces is being attentive, getting me drinks, giving me sweet looks, but is super tired and starts to check out of the convo when his friend goes off on a rant about work. I later try to engage my pisces again, and he talks about how he had an engagement party to go to for a former college girlfriend. So I say, "Will you feel weird seeing her engaged to someone else?" Pisces: "No way, I don't have feelings for her anymore." Then, to the table, he says loudly, "But she did give me one of the best orgasms of my life!" WHA? HUH????? He never talks like this!!!! Was he showing off? Or am I WAAAAY too deep in the friendzone?

Point is, I felt very much like one of the guys and there's a part of me that says I'm just REINFORCING that he shouldnt see me as more than a buddy.

As we were leaving, he comes up behind me and holds onto my hair, then rubs my neck and shoulders. (I show him I'm enjoying it.) Then he leans his head on my shoulder and says he's tired. I rubbed his head, and that was that. Night was over.

Me confused. But then, when I look back and have felt confused about men in the past, it was usually a case of "He's just not that into you".

Hmph.

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izodesmozina
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posted May 14, 2007 03:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
Tricky one! Hmmm... Let's see... It's very GOOD that he trusts you with that kind of info and I would understand why this may sound TOO friendly... I personally would do something like that ~ make a shocking comment about sex or dating to a guy I am interested in ~ to see his reaction (mainly), to shock him and GET a reaction or to simply open the subject and see what happens. But then again that's me. And I'm a girl. Wouldn't say anything about my orgasms though LOL. Too intimate, and I'm shy.
It's nice that, even though he doesn't have feelings for that girl, he can still appreciate the good things they had (LOL), and I'm sure it's not just the orgasms. It shows character and a good soul .
My personal opinion on this is that you are indeed too deep in the "friend zone". My guess is that he's probably puzzled by your attitude (because you don't seem to be bothered by jealousy feelings and are pretty censured, as I could tell from your posts). It's something like "oh, well... if you want to be just friends, that's what you'll get!". He's kinda teasing. Rubbing your neck?? Let's be serious... He is trying to make things difficult for you. Maybe you should do the same. So how about a mini-skirt next time? Or a new sexy haircut? Nothing too obvious, but still. Tease him back.
Ok, if this doesn't go well with you, don't do it. Maybe it's not such a good idea, dunno.
I love miss O'Hara, too! Such an Aries character hehe. Your nickname also made me think of the "Scarlet letter", I also enjoyed that a lot. Hmmmm... and there's a song from Guano Apes named "Pretty in scarlet", very nice!

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 14, 2007 01:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Izo,

So you think he's TEASING me, huh??? That WILL NOT do. I think you are right about this... like I said, he likes attention from all women, invites it in fact, but when he gets it he doesnt really want to hang on to it. So he's no dummy, I've decided he must be on to me or at least suspecting me... he wants to keep me in the game of wanting him back. Well I'm pulling the plug on that!

And, on one hand - great that he trusts me, on the other hand, I think he's taking me for granted maybe??? I'm not sure I'm a miniskirt girl, but I think I know him well enough to know the things that get under his skin.

I have a plan -

The coffee guy I mentioned in a previous post - well next time pisces wants to see me... SHOOT... guess who I might already have plans with? (tee hee)

Also, I need to STOP being so good to him and check out a bit. I'm not calling him at all, even though it's torture and I'm already obsessing.... but how else is he going to realize what the days feel like without me?

As for the good soul thing... well he is absolutely one of the best people I have ever known. This guy is QUALITY. He is loving, attentive, thoughtful... friends with his exes and does not have a bad word to say about any of them. Why do ya think I adore him so much???

Interesting you say that I'm censoring myself... he told me that once. It was our one and only fight. He said I was tryiing to "manage my image" aka I was not being real about something. I'll have to think about this b/c I thought everyone censors a little bit?

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izodesmozina
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posted May 14, 2007 02:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Dear Scarlett,

I hope you will understand where I'm coming from with this post. Please reconsider your plans, think twice before going ahead with them, because you might actually SCREW things up, for real!
These love games are not worth it . You will both get terribly hurt and you might actually lose him... He has self-esteem issues, he is not going to take this lightly! The fact that he wants female attention proves the fact that he needs confirmation of his attractiveness. And you want him to believe you're interested in someone else?? Think twice, please! If he is one of the best people you ever met, why do this to him?
Try to look at things from his perspective. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WANTED TO GO OUT WITH HIM AND HE WAS SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN?

Look, you BOTH need to acknowledge the fact that you are BOTH afraid of rejection because of past wounds. Wounding each other again will NOT get you together! You shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings for each other. To give and receive love is truly a miracle. Don't be afraid to be the giver ~ if he's sincere about you, he'll follow your gesture. Try to understand that your ways of reacting to this relationship are based on fear - fear of rejection, fear of this intensity, fear of inadequacy... Face your fears and step into the light!

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I am an artist and my life is my masterpiece

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izodesmozina
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posted May 14, 2007 02:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Ok, in conclusion: making yourself a little unavailable from time to time it's ok. Absence makes the heart go fonder. Making him jealous is a two-edged sword. I personally would advise you to reconsider.

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 14, 2007 04:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Izo,

You always give such good food for thought.

The last thing I EVER would want to do is hurt him or push him away. But why must I sit through him talking about other women in this way? He brings up girls that want to date him... and that hurts me. He very well could date someone else, it just hasnt happened yet. But I must deal with it, or else remove myself from the situation, right? (As for the other guy, I would not make it seem that I'm into him; I jsut want pisces to stop taking me for granted.)

And, if my pisces is teasing me just to boost his own ego, why should I be so careful about his feelings when he's not doign the same for me?

I'm just really at a loss, and frankly, I'm going a bit crazy over this. I'm trying to find things to busy myself right now but I keep obsessing about the next time we will talk. My brain is going crazy imagining him calling up those girls from last week and dating one of them. I have to prepare for the worst - this could happen.

This whole thing sucks, big time.

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izodesmozina
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posted May 14, 2007 05:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Hi, Scarlett!

Good to see you're not upset. I KNOW you don't want to hurt him... I don't want to hurt my guy, either... and neither does he, for sure. But how come we do that??
I know it hurts to hear him talking about other women...
Look beyond the surface! Don't let yourself be fooled by his attitude! He is sending you so many signals! Analyze facts, not words.
You are very lucky, Scarlett! And I'm not saying this to make you feel better, I am saying this because, from where I'm standing, you guys have a lot of things going for you! And you get to see each other... touch each other... hear each other... Not all of us have that... MoonDreamer, who replied to you at first, also has a long distance relationship.
You are VERY lucky! You have a beautiful synastry with this man, who appreciates you so much, trusts you and seeks your company! You are more important to him than the other women, this is pretty clear. Don't let your insecurities get the best of you! I've done this and I got so lost!... I was convinced he doesn't care for me anymore which wasn't true.
Also, don't let your ego get the in the way of this! If you keep scores of who is giving more out of the fear of feeling unloved or unappreciated, you will have a vicious circle around you two that will be hard to break. Please understand this: one of you has to make the first step, walk the extra mile, do a little bit more. If you think you are ready for this relationship (and I have little doubt that he is into you and wants to be with you, from what you wrote), make that step. If not, get ready! But don't play games, even if he does. As I said in a previous post, I kinda doubt that he will make the first move... My guess is all you will get from him would be hints and hidden signals.

Hang in there, little Scarlett! There is hope for you and your Pisces! Please cheer up and look on the positive side! This relationship is a blessing and you ARE very lucky! Have faith in it, have faith in yourself and have faith in your man - you all deserve it!

Izo

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 15, 2007 01:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Izo,

Thanks for the encouragement! You are right, I am lucky to have him around at all... I feel blessed to have ever met him, let alone have developed such a close friendship with him. I need to keep this in perspective, for sure!

I resisted the VERY strong urge to pick up the phone and call him today. I have not talked to him since FRIDAY NIGHT which is... well... like Chinese water torture. I was busy all weekend so that made it easier, but today was SLOW SLOW SLOW and I was OBSESSING to see if he'd call. No such luck. How pathetic am I??? This is SOOO not like me and I absolutely HATE this feeling.

We USUALLY don't talk Mondays and sometimes not Tuesdays, so it's not like there's a real reason for concern. I need to get a serious grip and stop dwelling on this because one more day of this MIGHT kill me! The key for staying away is keeping BUSY...

I'm going to do my best to hold myself back tomorrow. Will let you know if I hear from him... :/

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 15, 2007 01:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Izo! Just one more thing ~

I saw something you wrote about first meeting charts in another post, and I *happen* to remember the first meeting date of me and my pisces. IF you have time - and ONLY IF - I would love to see what our first meeting chart may say about us!

Met: February 4, 2006, approximately 9-10pm.

If you don't have time, please dont worry about it! Thanks again for all you've shared.

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izodesmozina
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posted May 15, 2007 07:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Scarlett,

I also need to know the place where you guys met. Will get back to you with the info soon.
Take care!!

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ScarlettSoul
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posted May 15, 2007 12:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Awesome!!

I would say it's North Hollywood, CA... it's technically Valley Village but it's so small that they probably won't have it listed.

I met him at his home, in his living room!

Thanks Izo!!

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izodesmozina
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posted May 17, 2007 01:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Scarlett!

Sorry for the delay...
Here it goes:

I. The first meeting chart

1. The Sun in Aquarius, in the 5th house: no wonder you guys are such good friends and you care so much for one another!
2. The Ascendant in Libra - lots of socializing, going out, having fun... Plus it is the sign that rules relationships . It is trined by the Sun (good for expressing your individualities), but squared by Venus (not expressing feelings...). It receives a stabilizing sextile from Saturn (could be long-lasting material) and a trine from Neptune (lots of idealization here - you only think highly of each other).
3. The Moon is in Taurus (massages!!!!!! Physical contact - lots; sensuality - lots; hedonism ), but in the 8th, in a conjunction to Mars - this relationship will bring intense emotions to both of you, and not only the good ones (square to Sun, Mercury, SATURN ~ repressed emotions + in the 8H, also hidden..., Neptune - watch out for disappointments!).
4. The DC - makes a very promising conjunction with the North Node ~ could be that one of the purposes of this relationship is... a relationship!! Or at least, a partnership.
5. Venus in the 4th house ~ well, this would also point to the fact that feelings are not so easily expressed, because it's a water house. If they are, they are expressed in all privacy, in your homes. Venus is well aspected, this is very nice (including a trine from Mars - an attractive configuration to meet somebody under ).

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izodesmozina
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posted May 17, 2007 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for izodesmozina     Edit/Delete Message
II. It's effect on you

1. It seems you met him while you were preparing for your first Saturn return - this is a very crucial time in a person's existence! Brings lots of changes in the structure of the individual's status-quo. It also conjuncted your Ascendant, so the effect is even bigger! How did you feel under this transit? It is said to bring clarity on your self image and your life, in general. Did it make you a little depressed, seeking more solitude?
2. BM Lilith was unfortunately opposing your Moon - seems that meeting him and having him in your life can bring you sorrow, but it would be indicated that you face this (and the personal issues it triggers in you).
3. The Ascendant for the FMC was opposing your Venus, hence your Venus was conjuncted by the DC - very indicative for a romantic encounter!
4. Amor was conjuncting your Chiron - well, to me this screams that this love will heal the past wounds you have!
5. Juno conjuncted your Part of Fortune. Well, since you didn't get married, maybe you signed some contracts in that period?
6. Your natal Karma was conjuncted by Venus ~ a fated, romantic encounter!
7. Valentine conjuncted your Neptune ~ this true love has the potential to bring the most selfless dedication, combined with spirituality and, again, idealization. No wonder you started day-dreaming about him!
Chiron opposed your Osiris; Valentine opposed your Eros; Amor and the Vertex conjuncted your Valentine; Mercury and Eros conjuncted your Union ~~ I don't know the exact interpretation for each of these aspects, but they all point to a romantic meeting, but also one that is high on communication (mercury) and sexual attraction (eros).

Looking good

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I am an artist and my life is my masterpiece

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