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Author
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Topic: The Disappearing/Reappearing Man
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Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2615
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted September 22, 2013 05:43 AM
  
quote:
not overly melodramatic and emotionally all over the place
Right.
Thank you so much for clarifying.
That makes so much sense now. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2615
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted September 22, 2013 05:59 AM
quote:
having respect and valuing urself
quote:
setting healthy boundaries
That is advice for any person to just live their life and be happy. That is not advice on the way they should "behave" to get a guy. quote:
has a backbone, has opinions and isn't someone who is a yes girl
This can be either positive or negative. It's debatable. Not everyone wants to be so opinionated and not everyone likes someone who is opinionated.
Some people are more quiet and shy - and other people are attracted to quiet/shy people.
Which is why I gave examples.. like a Taurus-influenced man, who would not normally be attracted to such opinionated women. quote:
having your own life and not having it revolve around a guy
Well this is very strange advice.. Because you are saying "Guys want this and Guys don't want to see you pining over them and etc etc"... so basically you are telling women how they should behave to get a guy.. It's a bit circular to say... "In order to get a guy - you should have your own life which doesn't revolve around a guy"..
I mean you should have a life anyway... You shouldn't pretend to "have a life" to get a man..
You should just - have a life, or better said - 'enjoy' your life.. Period. quote:
chill, relaxed and not overly melodramatic and emotionally all over the place.
But some people are emotionally all over the place and melodramatic (that's who they are!!) and some men (I gave astrological examples - although this can also be a cultural thing) are much more attracted to emotional women who are not relaxed and 'laid back'...
And actually - they would never be with a girl who is so "laid back" because they would find her -cold-... e.g. men with Venus/Pluto aspects, Mars/Pluto, Moon/Pluto, Scorpio influence.. Cancer influence.. Leo influence.. etc What makes you think that everyone, across the board - likes laid back people?
-_- IP: Logged |
LovelyAries86
Knowflake Posts: 447
From: OH, USA
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted September 22, 2013 06:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
^ you misunderstood my whole post.Being a prize is having respect and valuing urself not to take bs and setting healthy boundaries. Beck and call and the pining comment referred to having your own life and not having it revolve around a guy. Being a challenge (mentally) does not mean picking arguments but being someone who has a backbone, has opinions and isn't someone who is a yes girl. Light hearted pertained to being chill, relaxed and not overly melodramatic and emotionally all over the place. 
Now I do totally understand this post. And I agree. You need to have a life, opinions & passions *outside* of your Man. He should be a PART of your life, not your WHOLE life. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5863
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 24, 2013 01:50 AM
Sugarflapjacks I did not read all your post as it was late at night and I was very sleepy when I last posted on this thread which was like a week ago. I didnt mean to be a snob to you, so I apologize for that.
---------------------------------------
I'm still on page one reading the comments.
I honestly did not think this thread would get more than 2 or 3 responses.
I hope everyone can see, or read that I did not write this article. All I did was copy/paste it to this forum, in hopes that if one hurting woman read it maybe she would get some relief or perhaps have a better understanding of the dating process as a whole. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5863
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 24, 2013 04:00 AM
Current threads about men ignoring/disappearing on women in LL
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/222181.html http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/222070.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/222169.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004708.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004684.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004712.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004705.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004355.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004702.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004594.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004693.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004230.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004688.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004635.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004672.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/004678.html So those are threads that are just from here and the astro forum. ALL these women are confused about the actions of men because the men are not forthright with telling them what is going on. To me, this is a huge issue. HUGE. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2615
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted September 24, 2013 07:24 AM
Yes, this can be a huge issue for some people, who find themselves in this kind of situation.. (or at least “huge” from their perspective). And of course we will find many here because people often turn to astrology when things go pear-shaped in their relationships. The best advice for that segment of the population - (often fitting the profile: Western world + English speaking background + Caucasian + Relatively good financial situation --- which means they don’t often have other serious problems and these dating related issues can seem huge in their personal life) – In any event - The best advice for them is.. to walk away from a person playing games.
Definitely not to play games back. Either way ^ this does not answer my initial comment that the statement: ---“Most” men are just like this --- is an unfounded generalization. The fact that this is a problem for some people out there (male and female) – means the problem needs a solution. A majority of posters on LL are female.. but obviously the opposite situation happens as well – when the girl disappears on the guy or breaks up with him or rejects him or leaves him completely and utterly confused (just ask Aqua guy!). But -- For the love of God… The solution is not to complicate people’s lives by telling them to play more games with each other --- or to put on an act and pretend they are the "perfect" gf or "perfect" bf, and basically alter their entire personality. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5863
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 27, 2013 12:44 AM
Odette I would never ask someone to alter their personality.
Lets put it this way, if you were to go to a foreign country, and someone told you that you couldn't shake hands, even though you are a big ol' handshaker, would you shake anyway? No, you wouldn't. And if you don't are you still being yourself?? You are bursting at the seams with wanting to share your enthusiastic personality and you are dying to let them know how happy you are to see them, but you don't, because you are advised not to.
It may not be EXACTLY the same, but it is close. I'm going to assume that you are much younger than me (only because LL has many younger people now) so perhaps you weren't given advice such as this. But my mother and grandmother and aunts would talk about this sort of thing all the time. As the original author asked, "What is the first thing you do when somebody is chasing you?" You run. It is instinct. So, if (you) don't care about that, and to (you) it is more important to be your organic self, than by all means, do things your way. This is for people who have been doing as such and still find it an issue.Oh, and I am not rich or even close to it. I have even ate out of a trash can in the not so distant past (maybe 2-3 yrs, no I am not a drug addict. Not saying you are saying I am, but that is sometimes assumed when people mention being really really poor)
And I do have lots of other problems. But I think my other problems would fall into place if I just could get my love life sorted out.
At any rate, if anyone is still reading, I just came across this blog on FB.
http://www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/chasing-him-dont-know-it.html?s=53246&sbid=clYRg
IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5863
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 27, 2013 03:21 AM
Mystic Medusa is a syndicated astrologist and author. She speaks about this topic a lot on her blog, and the stories that the contributors shared regarding what they do/did when they were chasing love are worth the read.
http://mysticmedusa.com/2013/01/the-upside-of-being-a-love-zombie/ IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2615
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted September 27, 2013 07:15 PM
Gypsee - quote:
Odette I would never ask someone to alter their personality.
Lets put it this way, if you were to go to a foreign country, and someone told you that you couldn't shake hands, even though you are a big ol' handshaker, would you shake anyway? No, you wouldn't. And if you don't are you still being yourself?? You are bursting at the seams with wanting to share your enthusiastic personality and you are dying to let them know how happy you are to see them, but you don't, because you are advised not to.
Honestly, I am not the best person to ask this question... because I'm not a big advocate of the whole "When in Rome do as the Romans". My background is European but I live in Australia.
I have not abandoned things that I feel define me and that are a part of my culture - although I am happy to take in those customs/social behaviour in Aussie society.. that I feel are in sync with my own personality. If it was considered extremely offensive to shake hands in that particular foreign country - I would respect their wishes. However I would explain to them that this is a positive greeting in my own culture and a sign of friendship.
I would also explain that it is making me highly uncomfortable that I can't shake hands - since this is what I am accustomed to - and I would apologise for maybe not being completely 'at ease' around them - for this reason. As time goes on ^ if I lived there for a longer period.. I would learn their own greetings and manners of expression so I would still be myself - but I would express myself in a way that is more socially appropriate in their particular culture. If it was not considered offensive - but it simply was not a typical greeting to 'shake hands'... then I would still shake hands - and explain that this is *my* thing & what we normally do in my culture  However, I don't see this as analogous to gender differences at all. In my experience, men and women of the same culture - are not actually all that different in terms of social behaviour, customs, general goals and expectations in life etc. So I don't see why they would have a "culture clash" type situation happening... quote:
What is the first thing you do when somebody is chasing you?" You run. It is instinct.
It's not necessarily my instinct to run.. if someone runs towards me..
I mean if I liked them - why would I run?
And if I was not running at all - why would they need to chase in the first place?
All this running - chasing business is not for me :\
I have a Cappy Mars lol quote:
I think my other problems would fall into place if I just could get my love life sorted out.
I am really sorry to hear that you had these problems and I am also sorry if I sounded patronising earlier.. I guess when I see all these dating conversations.. it just reminds me of 'sex and the city' and that particular segment of society (the female characters in the series & movie)... As much as I actually find their characters likeable.. I don't like what they stand for. It's too much superficiality for me.
But I am sorry again - because I did not mean to put you in this basket. When it comes to what you are saying here - that if your love life was sorted, everything would fall into place - I understand why you feel this way. I mean I think many people out there would feel this way.
But I think it's really important to put yourself first and try to do things for yourself and better your own daily life.. rather than think - the perfect man (proverbial knight in shinning armour) will make all the negative things disappear.
At least from my perspective.. whenever I have had problems in my life - I have never felt as though love would fix those problems.
Often bringing a new person into your life - actually adds on to your problems... because no person is perfect and they come with their own issues.
I am not saying this to advise you (and you are right I am much younger). This is just the way I see things and what I tell myself. IP: Logged | |
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