posted October 20, 2009 11:33 PM            

quote:

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I will be watching.

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Perve.

swirl -
What you said on the first page was just like my Libra Venus friend, but what you said on the 2nd was just like me. You poor, poor girl.

posted October 21, 2009 10:54 AM            

I can totally understand what you're saying about when you realize you're being pursued - I'm the same way!! I have to take a step back until I decide if I'm up for it! And I have a Cappy stellium with Sun, Moon, Mars, Merc though not Venus..

My Venus in Pisces puts me at my most caring with people, and I tend to draw these soulful Piscean types who want to take care of me! I'm usually more than self-sufficient but when I like someone, I let them see my vulnerable side, which Pisceans in particular seem to understand & respond to very well. I guess your theory holds out there..

Perhaps we subconsciously draw it to ourselves by acting in a manner that elicits a response characteristic of our Venus? The Venus placement could be described as "how we act to attract".. Do you draw more guys matching your Venus placements or your DC?

posted October 21, 2009 12:38 PM            

yup, i forgot to imply that the receptiveness to the 'body heat' was prior to the majority of the conversation as well, cause it started outside, (the cigg and start of convo) then it continued and we talked mostly indoors.

yes, what you are saying about the other girl, is exactly what i thought too, that was my my exact thought when she asked that, at that exact moment. i was surprised that she asked about it, so i actually immediately asked her why she asked lol, a bad move, but i couldn't help it, because based on the same thought you've just had, i just thought "she's not interested, but she's just asked me something that suggests otherwise now.. Why would she ask that if she doesn't like me?" thats what went through my head. it came across defensive a little, hence, that didn't go down to well that night at the club.

the 'kinda hug' was like a side to side thing, arm around each other kinda, with the other arm each doing the 'stroking' lol. that stroking went on, while we wasn't saying anything as well. haha

she definitely shows some slightly uraniun style to her looks, and through her hair style particularly i think! neptune? emotional? i don't know her well enough, but on her facebook she took some quiz thing that said she was an emotional person deep down. shrugs.

lol, thanks for your interpretations on the chart, the confidence thing makes sense. i am particularly confident in this social circle i met her through.

thanks

p.s.

letram is not a player! :Z

posted October 22, 2009 12:20 AM            

I have to ask: with all that Cap, is your name meant to be ironic? You must have a Leo Asc with your stellium in the 5th. Only some major Leo could counter that stellium!

I can relate about Pisces. I have that sign on my 5th and Neptune cnj my Sun. Every guy I've been in a relationship with has had some strong Pisces and/or Neptune, and I've always needed that ambiance before I'd want to be physical with a man.

But I can really see how my Cap Venus is always there too, on top of that. I've seen Venus in Pisces being pursued, and it's not like Cap, that's for sure. I'm going to extrapolate from the few cases I've seen - a Pisces Venus is so sweet and receptive to all gifts of romantic affection. They smile, even give a geisha giggle at the love, basking in it. Meanwhile, Cap is more the type to sit there with arms crossed and eyebrow raised, laughing at this whole ridiculous mating game. I suppose you're probably a mix of both. Ain't inner conflicts grand?

quote:

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Perhaps we subconsciously draw it to ourselves by acting in a manner that elicits a response characteristic of our Venus?

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Oh yes, I very much agree that's a huge part of it. I see it with all the people I know when I think about how they receive affection from people they're just meeting.

We're all quickly trained. If we see someone clam up when approached sexually, but be warm and inviting when approached in a friendly way, we'll go with the friendly pursuit. And so on. The dynamic gets fixed early.

But I've also seen people treat others according to their Venus sign right off the bat, before any preference had been indicated. Like with my SO at the book store - how did they sense his Aries Venus while he read a magazine? This brings up something I've always wondered about synastry. How does it work? If my Venus is cnj your Moon, will I not feel that until you act as your Moon? I think that demonstration of our self may be unnecessary. Perhaps we feel one another on an energy level even before we see the particular behaviors reflecting those energies. That could be the instant sparks felt when meeting a soon-to-be lover. In that moment, we're feeling our sexual aspects with them.

quote:

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Do you draw more guys matching your Venus placements or your DC?

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What I've drawn most is Venus in Aries. It's long been the case that I can tell if a man has that placement simply from our chemistry. I wonder if I want men with that placement so that they will encourage me to develop those traits - I have Mars cnj and parallel my NN. Of course, it's also because my Sun and Moon are fire, and my Asc is the fiery water sign, Sco.

posted October 22, 2009 12:29 AM            

quote:

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there is something about Janes with capi in there chart

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Not widely known, but that was the original title for "There's Something About Mary." But then there were rewrites (dropped the astro to appeal to a larger audience), so they went w/ the second name.

Sounds like your defensiveness that night in the club didn't cause too much damage. It may have left her unsure about whether you're into her, but I don't think it negatively affected her feelings towards you.

Nice stroking technique. As a Sag, at that point I probably would've upped the flirting. But she's a Cap, so she may need the guy to lead more.

quote:

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letram is not a player!

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That's what all players say.

posted October 22, 2009 08:28 AM            

haha! players don't ever talk about the other girls, 'they don't exist' remember?

tsk.. letram player? as if.

posted October 22, 2009 03:26 PM            

jane: i am a venus in gemini and yeah i get all scared if someone i like, likes me back and i know it. i'll clam up or try to bring it back to neutral, friendly territory to deflect my nervousness. i also tend to make jokes or start to laugh or treat them like they're any other friend to again offset the heavy feelings i'm feeling that are making me scared.

posted October 22, 2009 04:16 PM            

jane, i'm not really sure i hope to be pursued; not now anyway.

posted October 22, 2009 08:52 PM            

Venus in Aries here...usually pursued by cavemen who are into the clubbing me over the head and dragging me back to their clan...go figure.

Lately it's been along the lines of unwarranted, awkward, and unwanted attention.

Have safe travels, mi amiga!

posted October 23, 2009 02:21 AM            

How would a Venus in Gemini like to be pursued then ?

As a crazy scorpio, I need to know that !

If it freaks you out when you find out that someone likes you back, would you prefer they took it really slow ???

Actually I've already dated 2 taurus boys with venus in gemini and now there is this cancer .. I can't resist them, they are just so kind and sweet and evolved as men ! And they all happen to be smart motivated people. *sigh*

posted October 23, 2009 05:32 PM            

let me first preface my personal advice in that i tend to be shy and hesitant around people i don't know well. and my shyness can be quite extreme. what i mean by that is that if i don't see you and talk to you on a continual basis, i may freeze up or ignore you (a.k.a.) be very shy the next time i talk to you. for example, even if we shared a class together for a semester in one year and talked every single day, but i didn't have any contact with you over the summer after class ended, if i see you in the fall i most likely will be nervous having to face you and talk to you. for me it's like starting all over again. i have a lot of residual childhood shyness in me that makes me very insecure and unsteady in romantic stuff. hence why i tend to be "child like" with this subject. i'm very black and white in matters of the heart.

when i say i get freaked out if someone likes me and i like them, it's more out of being shy and nervous and not at all because i can't handle the situation. it's more like oh no, pressure, how do i maintain this mutual feeling and not do something or say something to make them suddenly hate me?

so to tie this into a venus in gemini thing, i just need consistent, continual, clear communication from you. i don't care if it's just a hey how's it going in passing. please acknowledge me/communicate with me 9 times out of 10 that i see you or i'll think you hate me and i'll withdraw and move on. i may always secretly adore you, but i won't make an effort to make it known because i think you hate me and i don't want to annoy you. when i say "move on" it doesn't mean my feelings evaporate into thin air, but my efforts to show you that i like you will disappear. like if i see you, i won't say hi to you. i'll just pretend you're not there because in my mind, i think to myself well, he ignored me the last time we crossed paths so maybe i shouldn't say hi this time because that may annoy him. however, i'll secretly hope that the guy will say hi to me the next time or smile or at least show me a positive welcoming vibe and then and only then will i attempt to be friendly again.

with the scorpios (venus in scorpios, scorpio stelliums, what have you scorpios all included here) i noticed they were very inconsistent with their communication with me so that upset me a lot. all happy and nervous and shy some times, but then other times act as if they couldn't see me or were in a bad mood when i tried to talk to them. in my mind, if you like a girl, you won't ignore them and you'll try to cover up your bad mood. only if you hate the girl would you do those things.

i often had to say hi first and communicate first and that also hints to me oh they hate me because if they like a girl they would try to communicate first. and i'll think to myself, well they only said hi back because i said hi first. it wasn't sincere on their part. when i say this, i mean i actually said hi or smiled first. i didn't stare at them to force them to acknowledge me first. and this is what they would always do.

they would come near me and/or stare at me to psychically give me the green light to acknowledge them. that is/was scary for me because it's like i'm gambling on trying to read someone's mind here. it's like, well, what do you want me to do when you've walked right up to me and are standing shoulder to shoulder to me, yet you're not even trying to look at me? you want me to say hi first? but you're the one who walked up to me first? and it's not as if we haven't spoken to each other before or said hi to each other before, so what's with the strange actions now?

when this happens, i just ignore them back because i'm following their lead. mind you, i don't do these things to people. i don't have the guts to walk up to a guy i like and just stand beside them and ignore them. that to me is nuts. if you have enough courage to be all up in my space, then surely you have some courage left to turn to me and say hi. in my mind i'm thinking, he's just doing this to punish me for always saying hi to him first. like he's trying to taunt me by being so close to me and testing me to see if i can control myself and not say hi this time. now you can understand my confusion with scorpio men.

as well, i'd send an email and ask a specific question ie hey you wanna walk home together after school? and i don't hear from them. you know, after they told me that next time i see them that we should walk home together. and so i ask and all i get is nothing, so for me that = he hates me and i must move on now.

my style as i've described before is to try to be cool about the situation and try to be your friend. so yeah i will ask you if you wanna walk home after work or school together. you wanna go grab something to eat during break. you wanna go with us (not just me only) to a movie, etc.

i'm willing to stick my neck out there because i'm sincere in my attempts to get to know you and be your friend if i genuinely like you and i sense you like me. but i don't push people to get what i want. i'm not that kind of girl. i'm really sensitive to those slow and steady water/scorpio types and i'm the most patient person in the world, but i will take no for an answer.

if i sense that you don't want anything to do with me, i'll back away and disappear. but, i don't know any other way to jump start these things except to try to be your friend first. if you decline the first time, i'll just be like well he hates me so i better move on now.

the first road block or no communication will knock me out and i won't even bother again. i've been asked out before first by these people, but was left hanging afterwards. i've asked them out before first (well more like a friendly invite) and got no response. that to me all equals he hates me so i have to move on. only to find out later that they harbored feelings for me and were so sad because they didn't understand why i "didn't like them." for me it's clear, i write you an email, you don't write me back, that surely means you hate me. you ask me out, you don't call me the next day, you must hate me.

as well, if you act all cold suddenly and "test" me to prove that i'm sincere in my efforts, that's a toss up for me. i'll become hot and cold myself as i'm trying to read your mind or go with my gut. like this one guy who came on strong like all over me strong. almost like he went 99% of the way but then the last 1% was up to me. he tested my patience for sure. he tested me like beyond tested me. i can't even describe it. it was like the olympics of scorpio testing. i was successful but i can't say i appreciated being forced to go through those infamous scorpio tests.

the best i can describe this situation was for all the times and years he was trying to show me through his actions (and only actions no words) that he liked me, it was like once i finally understood what was going on and reciprocated the feelings (not admitting i like you a lot just i acknowledged him and was now doing my venus in gemini thing of trying to get to know him and be his friend), he turned the tables on me and basically forced me to prove myself that i sincerely liked him back. it was like pay back time. he hung in there through all those years i ignored him and was aloof and didn't take it seriously, so it was my turn now to go through the same hell. i was pretty terrible towards him in hind sight. but i was really, really scared because my feelings were correct. i had no firm facts as in he told me he liked me or wrote me a letter confessing his feelings or a friend of his told me the truth. i banked it all on my feelings. that's what scares me to death. and i didn't know what to do. what do you do when this happens?

but in my defense, if i don't know you and you don't know me, you don't smile at me, you don't talk to me, you don't communicate directly with me, i won't even assume you can remember my face well enough to pick me out of a police lineup. venus in scorpios/scorpios are known to attract someone by being intense and focusing on them and staring and doing all that flirting stuff through actions and not words. like they try to psychically tell you they like you and want your attention. i'm not comfortable with that because my heart and my gut will suspect the obvious but my mind, which controls my heart and my feelings, will tell me to get over myself and that the guy probably thinks i look weird or maybe hates me for some unknown reason.

i was successful in the end but it also made me very unsure and confused about myself and how i should act when i like someone and someone likes me. like i said, when i find out someone likes me and i like them, i try to be their friend. that's all i know how to do to try be more than friends with someone if i believe that is both of our goals here. but when they suddenly act unfriendly towards me because now i'm trying to be friendly towards them, and their way is to test me first, i'm giving up.

in my mind it should be very clear and transparent. you like me, i like you, so let's start with step 1 and be friends. my problem is that i am very able to understand non-verbal communication or the mysterious ways of the scorpio guy, but i don't want to. i hate it. please if you like me just say so or talk to me every now and then. communicate directly and clearly with me on a consistent basis please. that's all this venus in gemini asks for.

posted October 23, 2009 08:22 PM            

remember my advice was just from my own perspective. i can't speak for all cancer + venus in gemini folks here. however, i also have a gemini moon, so i think that influences me a lot when i stress the whole i need constant, consistent, continual communication. perhaps that'll be my new motto for anyone who wants to win my trust and affection

i don't know the specifics of your situation or what the guy's personality is like but i'll have to first say i'm a girl so i might react differently and on top of that, i tend to be more of a shy person and very shy when it comes to romantic stuff.

in general, if i were the guy in the situation and we have reached an impasse, if you go with confronting feelings, then it'll have to be a very specific and honest explanation. once that happens, if he were me, i'll need to again ask for constant, consistent, continual communication from you in order to back up that confession of feelings and gain my trust.

from then on, make an effort to make contact with him. socialize with him. get to know him. be his friend. don't confront him and then go back to being hot and cold or inconsistent. that will just further the impasse.

i've had a guy try to confront me with his true feelings before, but it was in the most intimidating of ways. he was determined to confront me face to face and i don't like that when it comes to confrontations. and to me it felt like an actual confrontation like he wanted to come get me, so i did what most cancers do which was to just go into hiding.

it was also initimdating in that he was pulling a 180 and that is really disturbing to my logical venus in gemini & gemini moon combo. if you were hot and cold or confusing towards this guy, then i may caution you that if you one day go up to him and be like okay i have a confession, i love you! it may scare him because you're being illogical and you don't make black and white sense.

with that guy in my case, i was literally scared because i didn't know what to believe anymore. i believed in my heart and my feelings this guy was for me, but because of what he said, my mind forced me to just go away. i took what he said as fact and i didn't understand what he was doing. i do take no for an answer. whatever someone says, i believe what they say is the truth and i respect it. but he did what darcy from pride and prejudice did practically. first it was oh i hate you elizabeth, i wouldn't dance with you! and then it was like marry me i love you! that's fine for the movies and fiction but not acceptable for me in reality. say what you say and mean it please or explain why you're changing your tune now.

to me it seem to come out of nowhere and i was scared because i had accepted what he said and moved on. moved on as in never bothered him anymore, just went back to hiding in the background and minding my own business. i still had enormous feelings for him, but i shut them down because of what he said. so when suddenly one day he comes charging back at me, i was like i need to get out of here. nothing makes sense. i don't get this stuff. this is all way too scary and complicated. you say one thing and then you do another? what am i? in the twilight zone? i need to get out of here. i'm a straight shooter and if someone is all zig zagging and inconsistent...sorry but i don't need that in my life. i have enough good will and respect towards someone i like to keep it real with them and if they don't do that with me then i feel cheated. i'm not as strong as elizabeth in pride & prejudice. if i heard darcy diss me at the dance and then the next time he wanted to dance with me, i'd be like yeah right buddy get out of here! you don't get to punk me twice is how i feel.

posted October 25, 2009 03:56 PM            

quote:

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I'm thinking your Venus in Cancer would work like this - men would pursue you by being receptive to you mothering them. They'd open up to you emotionally and seek out your care.

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I have Venus in Cancer. While men open up to me and tell me their secrets (I attribute this more to my 8th house stellium and gift for getting people to confess...helpful with journalism), I am not very maternal. So I dismissed this at first but...

Lots of the men who've pursued me have gotten very maternal/nurturing with ME--driving me around, buying me things, baking me pies, giving me warm sweaters and flannel things to wear, reading me to sleep. So you might be onto something.

This is challenging for me because what attracts me to men is a lot of edgy, rejecting masculinity...and then the more involved we get, the more they start to act like my mom. It's SO WEIRD when an aloof, leather-clad, chiseled Libra rockstar starts doing your laundry, making hot cocoa and trying to read aloud from Harry Potter. Weird, weird, weird.

I think this more happens just after the first pursuit stage is over--after we have slept together, usually, although it has happened with a couple of male friends when I was involved in another relationship.

posted October 25, 2009 10:08 PM            

I have Venus in Aries conjunct mars...and thinking back on it, interested parties have always approached me with a decidedly martian air.

From the caveman approach, to straight out- " Hi lets get down and dirty' no hold barred way to the number of times I had people grab my hand and drag me into a dark corner so that they could let me know how exactly they felt in a physical way.

Even people who later turned out by nature to be reticent and very contained seemed to hit on me in a direct and straight forward manner.

And just for the record..I don't think I provoke those type of primal responses through either flirting (which I can't do to save my life) or dressing in such a manner as to illicit such a response.

I'm actually envious of all you people worth venus in Libra, Taurus or any of the other feminine signs. most of you have perfected the act of flirting to an artform.

My best friend has a Libra venus, and watching her flirting is spellbinding. She always gets approached in a 'gentlemanly' fashion, complete with the whole drawn out and pre planned courting ritual and fine dining.

posted October 26, 2009 05:18 AM            

"Bonked on the head & dragged to their lair."

AHaha that's hilarious...but how do you like that?? does it actually fit your tastes or is it too passionate or crude for you?

posted October 26, 2009 08:21 AM            

Most guys I have dated have had to pursue me - for months - until I give in lol

My last r/ship was also with a Venus Taurus ... surprised it got off the ground actually... he kept tempting me over to his house with his 'special' recipe called Drunken Scallops (he is chef-trained! Pleases this Taurus girl very much!) ... in fact, after a few weeks of all this talk, and no action, I had to go shopping near his house so that I had an "excuse" to come over after work as I'd be in the area That's the night we got together - I didn't get the drunken scallops for a few weeks though (and boy were they good!) ... So I think the Venus in sign goes either way, male or female? Although that being said, his Venus is conjunct his Mars too (within 1 minute).

90% of the time I attract fixed-sign moons. Namely Scorpio, Leo and Aquarius mooners, though I have had encounters with Taurus mooners (and one Cancer moon, and one Pisces moon). But that could also be due to my angles (AC/DC and IC/MC) being in fixed signs.

Jane, I relate totally what you said to when you know someone likes you!!! Maybe its the earth Venus talking?
If anyone blatantly shows they like me, I am terrified too! It's only the persistent ones who make the cut lol ... I actually am starting to think this is my Achille's heel. I should try and be with someone who I am attracted to first! The roles are reveresed though - if I have a crush on someone (and I try and keep these to a minimum ... thanks Aquarius ascendant!) then I steer right clear of them. I am a total rejection retard. I would rather *know* that someone likes me if I like them, but because I am a rejection retard then I still don't have the guts to make the first move. Never have and probably never will. So, there's the dilemma! And probably why my Venus wins out... guys who are persistent get the girl (and usually have to be somewhat romantic as well! lol this always seems to die off though... which makes me sad)

Thinking back to the Venus signs I have attracted, last 4 relationships over the past 8 years (most recent to least):

Taurus, Aquarius, Taurus, Leo

and their moon signs (most recent to least):

Aquarius, Leo, Leo, Scorpio

and their Mars signs (most recent to least):

Taurus, Pisces, Taurus, Gemini

well whatdoya know.. mainly fixed.. and we all know what that means! I'll do their sun signs just for a laugh:

Gemini, Pisces, Taurus, Gemini

posted October 26, 2009 05:20 PM            

Well this cancer guy with venus in gemini did exactly like you have described- he was the one who brought up the possibility of us becoming partners and flat mates !!

I said it was too early and you never know, we should get to know each other a bit better first.

And since then, I'm the one calling him and he has handed over the reigns, which to me is a challenge because I have to make it look like I'm still 'just being friendly' while trying to arrange meets.

He does like it this way I think. He seems to be enjoying the attention.

Please tell me he does !!! Or does it freak him out ?