posted November 15, 2009 04:11 AM            

AG -

Neptune cnj your Venus screws it all up. Neptune opens Venus up to a whole range of expression.
My first love had Venus cnj Neptune in Sag in his 8th house. I know your kind. Good times. (Time for a bathroom break!)

Had me cracking up!!!!!!!

A post down or so when you mentioned the Jesus picture with the talk bubble under the door got me actually howling with laughter.
On that note, I think I'll go to sleep thinking about a certain guy with a hot piece of Taurass Venus... shirtless farmer... oh yeah, ya got that right.

posted November 15, 2009 04:16 PM            

quote:

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Me, from Oct. 19th..

quote:But the thing is, I'm sick of feeling like this! I don't want to go through my life feeling a minor anxiety attack (or at best, irritation) when someone gives off interested signals. I want to feel relaxed, like things will work out ok without me doing anything.

Me, today...
Discomfort gone! Wish granted. The only thing is, it didn't come about exactly how I'd asked for it. I do feel completely relaxed, but not with the faith that I don't have to do anything. Instead, I feel relaxed precisely because I'm comfortable doing what I have to do to ensure things work out ok. All I have to do is honestly state what I want.

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That's bizarre because that's exactly what's happened to me these last couple of weeks.

I know I didn't join in on this discussion when it started initially, but essentially, I also typically have the deer in the headlights type of look on my face when anyone tries to flirt with me. I've got Venus in Virgo though (strong sextile to Saturn and square to Chiron in the 7th).

Long story short, I went to a Halloween party where I didn't know a whole lot of people and I was wearing a "sexy" costume, and I was literally embarrassed by the amount of attention I got (and I was NOT drunk, acting strangely, etc.; I just looked hot. If anything I was just trying to blend into the wall). All of a sudden it was like all eyes were on me and I am NOT used to that. I dress down a lot, so it doesn't always lend itself to my looking good. Typically I'll get attention from men here and there, but not on that scale. Even when it is just a little attention, I end up freaking out though.

So I started to wonder what it was that I was so afraid of when someone even remotely seems to have an interest in me. Why does my entire body tense up and I get the sudden urge to run away? I figured it out: 1) I'm afraid I won't know how to react; whether or not I have an interest in the person (Virgos have to do everything PERFECTLY ya know? ) and 2) I think that if I show even the remotest interest in someone (even if I actually do have an interest in them) that they will then think I'm am over-eager or desperate.

So, how this has played out in the past is that some poor guy will be really trying to flirt with me and I'm being friendly but essentially not reciprocating because... Ta-da: I have been uncomfortable expressing my own needs for fear that I will do so and the other person will lose interest. And of course that goes into a whole other thing about self issues that I won't go into...

Since I've finally figured this out, it's like the fear just disappeared. There's this guy at the salsa classes/dances that I just started going to a few weeks ago and he has subtly started flirting with me, and for once I'm really not freaked out. In fact, I was even able to give him a genuine compliment.

It sort of feels like this:
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1531

posted November 22, 2009 04:30 PM            

Enchantress -
Yay! I'm really happy for you! The timing is bizarre, but the bizarre is commonplace in my life. So I'm not surprised someone else is going through something similar. Do you also have a first house Uranus?

Your astro self-analysis makes a lot of sense. Isn't it amazing how quickly growth happens, once awareness expands?

That cartoon made me . I can empathize with her celebration. What's changed for me isn't so much my outward behavior, but my internal reaction to anticipating that behavior. I used to dread it, now I feel free to be honest. Before, I had foolishly wanted to be free from my Cappy Venus' demands, when it's actually that demand that's freed me. Oh irony, you so crazy.

For the most part, I didn't get uncomfortable if I sensed a man's sexual attraction alone. I've been at ease with that since my early 20s. I'd panic when I'd sense attraction plus his desire to act on it, to make a move. And it's because him taking action required that I do so, as well. It would force me to evade or state how I really feel, to reveal myself. You'd think a wedding band alone would tell guys how I feel - apparently not! Now it's hard for me to even fall back into that perspective. Since this mental shift, I've had practice asserting my Venus, and it's been so easy and natural. That moment of panic appears to be gone, I hope forever.

posted November 23, 2009 10:03 PM            

Holy crizzap! After MM posted, I thought about how I'd like it if a few others returned to LL: you, CoralFrequency, 23, and GemLover. My manifestation powers are on fire!

No, I wouldn't do what you asked about. I'm selfish with my free time. That's probably from my Sco Asc, Cap Venus and Moon-Uranus square. Although I'm far less picky about group socializing, I can't think of a single time when I've made one-on-one social plans with someone who I already knew I wasn't genuinely interested in (as a friend or more). A few times I didn't realize my lack of interest until I was already out with the person one-on-one. Those times, I made as quick an escape as possible and never made future plans with them.

What are his Uranus and Neptune aspects?

From what you said, my hunch is that he liked you. As what, I don't know. It could've been as friends. With his Venus placement it could've also been romantic & he didn't get from you the clear signal a rejection-fearing Cappy Venus needs.

I lean towards romantic interest, though. I hate to generalize in this way but from what I've seen and experienced, when single men actively seek a relationship with single women they're just meeting (by suggesting coffee, etc), they usually do have a sexual relationship in mind. Not that they're necessarily against being only friends, if that's all the woman wants. It's just that they would usually welcome more. General rule, of course, and many particular facts can crush it.

Did he ever flirt? Have you been able to compare his behavior with you to his behavior with other women?

ETA:

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or have been so ambiguous in their interest that it wasn't ever clear whether there had been any interest at all. So can't really say they pursued me in actual fact...

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See, this I can really relate to. Every guy I've had a relationship with has been like that at the beginning. (So I must like it!) Often they'd give a clear signal where they were testing the waters about my interest, but I'd not show my hand. (I like to mix metaphors. ) Or I'd show my panic face, making them fear that I considered the idea of us being together repulsive. And from that point on, they would behave in a way that I could just as easily interpret as perfectly content with the status quo. I could feel from the way they looked at me that they liked me, and we had chemistry, but they never flat out said, "We should be together" or anything along those lines. I was always the one to initiate the transition to a sexual/romantic relationship (because I wanted to be). And this does sound like a Cap influence, since it means that we're the ones designated to cautiously lead.

posted November 24, 2009 03:36 AM            

Men pursue me the classic way... by wine and dining, flowers/gifts/shows and trips...

They make it clear and aggressively express their interest to set themselves apart from my male friends. Anything less obvious(such as just being nice/helpful/flirting/casual dates) won't register to me as possible romantic interest but friendship.

posted November 28, 2009 10:42 AM            

Sorry to derail the thread, but I wanted to say hello and send you some luuuuurrvv

Be good!

posted November 29, 2009 02:56 PM            

One thing I havent learned is how to quote on lindaland (how DO you do it, tell me?) so bare with me and my manual technique..
Q:"No, I wouldn't do what you asked about. I'm selfish with my free time. That's probably from my Sco Asc, Cap Venus and Moon-Uranus square. Although I'm far less picky about group socializing, I can't think of a single time when I've made one-on-one social plans with someone who I already knew I wasn't genuinely interested in (as a friend or more)."

Yes I'm exactly the same, I'm pretty stingy with my time if I'm not interested in someone even just as a friend. And especially when it comes to the romantic arena, I think I'm all or nothing. If I dont sense something from my side and almost immediately from the start, I'll probably not invest my time. However, with him I fear he ticks slightly differently. He has a lot of female friends (his venus is in the 11th) and he just always struck me as a very sociable guy and genuinly interested in people. He's a 12th house aqua sun, moon and mars in gemini, venus in cap and a pisces ascendant. Neptune as his chart ruler is conjunct his MC, opposite his moon and mars. Uranus is in his 8th house. Who knows you might even remember me mentioning him on this forum back when I first met him and was in the grip of total confusion..

Q."Did he ever flirt? Have you been able to compare his behavior with you to his behavior with other women?"
To be honest I never deciphered ANY of his behaviour as flirtation. Although my close friend who is born 2 weeks before him (so she shares all of his planet. placements except moon and ascendant) claims his first couple of emails clearly sounded like flirtation to her, to me on the other hand they sounded borderline rude. And talking to him in person, it was again another story. With the exception of the last time I saw him, he seemed often slightly intimidated by me, sometimes a bit insecure, sometimes more relaxed, but never entirely at ease in my presence. I KNOW that he respects me and I always sensed he was somewhat in awe of my job title. So all of that reserve may have had more to do with his general respect for me than any romantic interest. And with other women? I have mostly seen him with women who were either good acquaintances or friends of his. With them his behaviour was pretty different, very relaxed, almost paternal and warm, quite touchy feely.

posted November 29, 2009 02:57 PM            

I think the fact that he is still on my mind also tells you something about venus in capricorn. I think venus in capricorn is extremely selective in when it comes to investing their feelings, a bit like a hermit, as we can easily go without anything (if it's not worthwhile) for ages. But goodness, if we do, it's difficult to withdraw all those feelings again. Actually, I could never understand why venus in capricorn always has this rather materialistic reputation (you know marrying up the career ladder, being impressed with titles etc.). That's almost like saying venus in capricorn is a bit corrupt or superficial. But that's exactly what we are not at all about. If our affection isnt there it can't be bought so to speak, no matter what a 'catch' the other person may seem. I have several friends with venus in capricorn and we are all the same in that respect.

posted December 15, 2009 02:07 AM            

Stay on topic!

You're so beautiful. Thank you for that.

posted December 15, 2009 02:39 AM            

Yes, what you describe does sound like Libra.

quote:

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Hi, annaf!

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This guy is so Neptunian! Sun in the 12th, Pisces Asc, Neptune cnj the MC and opp the Moon and Mars. No wonder you couldn't read that. Who could?! *raises hand* Pick me, pick me! Here's what I think happened. Neptune Boy (NB) wanted you bad, but I think that awkward coffee date shattered his Neptunian vision of perfect love. So he gave up the dream of you two. If that sounds like an immature reaction, it should, because it is.

I've been guilty of that myself. Your situation reminds me of one of mine. Bear with me. This personal tale of woe is ultimately about you and NB.

I was 16, popped into a small bookstore on my way home from school. The only employee there was a college student. I found him sexy, funny, and sharp. In other words, I liked him. Which was a surprise because I was still heartbroken over my ex. No one besides Bookstore Guy (BG) had even come close to attracting me like my ex had (nor would anyone again for a couple of years. Yes, I know what you mean about selective Venus in Cap). I could tell he liked me too. I left thrilled, but that passed after I replayed our convo in my head and it hit me that BG must have mistaken me for a college student. (He had.) I returned the next week. Chemistry was still there. I bit the bullet and told him I was 16 and in high school. In his eyes, I could see shock and a slight hint of rejection. He cooled a bit. I'd feared as much - he hadn't seemed sleazy, so I figured his mind would tell him to keep away from jailbait. Anyway, with that small change in his demeanor, my dream bubble popped. I left quickly.

I didn't see him until the next spring. In my Bio class, I spilled formaldehyde on myself. (Clumsy Saggies should be exempt from labs. I even started a fire once. ) Needless to say, I reeked. So I changed into my gym uniform - shorts and a white t-shirt. I still had one class left that day, but since I smelled so bad, I decided to walk home instead. Of course it started raining hard. I took a shortcut through a cemetery. As I'm emerging from it, who should come rolling up in his car but Bookstore Guy. So there I am, looking like a drowned rat, feeling offended that he could even recognize me in that state, and stinking like formaldehyde while coming out of a cemetery. (Kinky!) He offers me a ride, and I get in because how could I play off that I'd rather walk while a lightening bolt is hitting gravestones behind me? It wouldn't sell. He was warm and interested again (probably because of the wet t-shirt). He said I should stop by the bookstore again. I said I would, knowing I wouldn't. Big smiles goodbye, and that was that. I never saw him again.

Neptune's great for serenity, but there's a thin line between serenity and defeatism. There's this dangerous thinking that goes with Neptune - if this is "meant to be" things will flow beautifully. We mistakenly think if we have to construct paradise ourselves it's not real. So when there are bumps a Neptunian can let go, taking the bumps as signs that the situation isn't right.

Like when I told BG my age, my Neptune wanted acceptance. He didn't give it fast enough, and that killed the enchantment buzz. That part was like your coffee date. And when I saw him months later, even though I still liked him, I'd already decided we didn't have something "real". So I rejected his advances. That was like NB and your email.

To me, the fact that he didn't respond to your email is further proof that he liked you. (This makes sense, I swear.) He's a friendly, social guy. So wouldn't he respond to an email from a friend, and not just a friend, but someone who has a job he considers very cool? To cut you out like that, tells me that he was originally after something that he no longer saw as a possibility.

The mixed messages he sent - they may have all been authentic. Neptune could've made him sloppy, jumping from romantic love to friendship, as he jumped from hope to resignation, as well as sexual and friendly self.

The last time you saw him, how did he act? You said that time was the exception. Was he more fixed and relaxed? If so, at that point he'd probably resigned himself to friendship.

You intimidating him sounds like his Pisces Asc influence. I know many who put people on pedestals.

About quoting - simply click the "edit" button on this post. The text will show what code I used for that. You can use this technique to learn all sorts of text tricks.

And please don't apologize for a late reply. Can't we just be cool with that sort of thing? Please?

quote:

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have a look around, seems even more people on your wish list have been turning up

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posted December 15, 2009 03:29 PM            

quote:

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Re: Quoting

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"[" quote "]" TEXT "[" /quote "]"

posted December 15, 2009 04:41 PM            

quote:

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have a look around, seems even more people on your wish list have been turning up

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posted December 16, 2009 01:15 AM            

Jane - This is SUCH a cool thread and really awesome ideas about Venus. I'd love to add something interesting, except Venus is an elusive little biatch in my chart. It may or may not be in Aries or Taurus. So things could get a touch confusing in my reply lol

posted December 16, 2009 01:35 AM            

I come and go. I used to have a schedule that allowed daily visits here. That's no more, but I do check in semi-regularly. I was going to say in your thread that your timing was both brilliant and horrible. Brilliant because I had recently said I wanted you to return; horrible because I probably won't be around much (if at all) for the next few months. I didn't want to welcome you with such heartbreaking news, though. Also, that may not be the case. I'll probably be able to snag some time here and there for a LL fest. (Especially now that a certain name will entice me to be here, since it triggers in me scenes of gothic love and feverish sickness. )

quote:

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It may or may not be in Aries or Taurus. So things could get a touch confusing in my reply lol

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Yes, that could be a potentially psyche-shattering post! Hey, maybe if you muse about the way you've been pursued, you'll find that their style helps determine your Venus sign.

posted December 21, 2009 02:16 AM            

Thanks for the compliment. But with your Aries Venus, of course you'd feel that way. You my homies. What's your Sun/Moon/Asc? *gently clubs Redstar*

Lonake

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i'm venus capricorn and have noticed men get pissy when i don't pay attention to them [the ones who are trying to get my attention] - also doesnt help that i have leo rising who likes to stick her nose up in the air. what the hell is it all about? i think they're reacting to the cold shoulder, get hurt, and start to act like little boys to get our attention. too bad they don't have a clue about what they're doing. they're boys, really. venus capricorn seems to need more.

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posted December 21, 2009 02:23 AM            

quote:

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i'll clam up or try to bring it back to neutral, friendly territory to deflect my nervousness. i also tend to make jokes or start to laugh or treat them like they're any other friend to again offset the heavy feelings i'm feeling that are making me scared.

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I can relate to that, maybe because my Venus is in the 3rd house so it behaves similarly to Gemini. Of course, it could also be b/c I'm a Sag. I like to connect with people on a friendship level. That erotic energy can be dangerous - it arouses strong emotions and people can go nutty when things don't go their way. So I liked to keep things in a "safe" friendship zone for a while, even when something heavier and more wild was just under the surface.

posted December 21, 2009 02:40 AM            

I like them passively persistent. Like, for them to stick around but not push. Works like a charm on me.

Chef-trained! You're so lucky. I find chefs and farmers v. hot. Particularly the organic, independent ones. That's probably my Taurus Dsc and Virgo Mars licking, er, I mean talking.

posted December 21, 2009 04:25 PM            

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I purposely was dressed inappropriately for where we were going so that I would have to change. After he commented that the place we were going was fancy, I took off my top and jeans right there in front of him and went to change. I did that because I wanted it to be clear right from the start of the evening what that night was going to be about for us.

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Oh.. I’m sure he loved that!!

Blue Moon –

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I don't really attract the hide in the bathroom kind of guy

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