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Author
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Topic: The 8th House & Intimate Bonds
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jane
Knowflake Posts: 1277
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Registered: Jul 2009
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posted August 11, 2010 04:14 PM
  
Does your 8th house describe the way you bond intimately with another?To grow close to someone, what matters most to me is chemistry. Everything outside of the immediate moment is extraneous. I don't need to know their biography and I don't need them to know mine. I don't need to know where they were 1 hour ago and I don't need to tell them where I was. Sharing facts doesn't make me feel close to someone. It's all about feeling deeply connected and harmonized in our moment. I have Gemini on the 8th, and Mercury is in my 1st in Scorpio. I think that illustrates deeply connecting our personal selves (Sco Merc in 1st) in our own little bubble (Gem) w/o needing to integrate that bubble with the rest of my life. I also have the Vertex in my 8th house. I usually know from the start if someone's going to play a big role in my life. How about you? IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
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posted August 11, 2010 04:18 PM
Can't figure out what I want to say  8th house
Gemini Sun
Gemini Mercury
Cancer moon IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 16930
From: http://forum.astro.com/cgi/forum.cgi?action=viewprofile;username=u36170365
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 11, 2010 04:41 PM
My vertex is conjunct my Moon, Venus and South Node in the 8th (sextile Jupiter, trine Pluto). I've had that feeling, of knowing that someone's going to play a big role in my life.(*editing out something personal.) My Mercury is in the 6th, conjunct Chiron/Ceres/Sun. I'm not sure how that ties into the way I connect with others. IP: Logged |
Nephthys
Knowflake Posts: 941
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 11, 2010 04:41 PM
This is interesting, Jane, b/c I too, initially, need chemistry 100%, however, I am very interested to know the other persons' interests, mannerisms, behavior, personality, hobbies, favorites, etc. What do they love, what drives them, motivates them, etc.? Interesting b/c the last guy I was involved with, my Mars, Uranus and Pluto all fell in his 8th house and he rarely ever asked me personal "getting to know you" questions, exactly like you described in yourself!!!! IP: Logged |
enchantress299
Knowflake Posts: 737
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Registered: May 2009
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posted August 11, 2010 07:15 PM
Interesting topic indeed. I also have Gemini on the 8th house... However, I find that it manifests a little differently than yours. Chemistry is important, but it is mental chemistry that is important. Verbal exchange is very important to me, more so than looks even. I always jokingly tell the person that I am with: "Tell me a story." If there is not variety in conversation and topics I get bored, and it turns into a lack of connection for me. The house ruler, Mercury, is in Virgo in the 10th, by the way. What's funny is that I'm one of those people that everyone just comes up to and starts talking. I get random strangers who will tell me their life stories. So, a lot of the time, it isn't just dependent on the other person being able to talk deeply about themselves (and about other topics), it's also about ME being comfortable with opening up to another person. I've realized (especially recently), that, while it is so easy for everyone else to open up to me, it is incredibly hard for me to fully open up to someone else. So yeah... That's important to me. In the past I have attracted some very good looking men who are the strong silent types (that so many women LOVE), and I just don't get it. I find it very hard to connect to them, and when they try to be all mysterious and they dodge questions, I just get annoyed and think to myself: "Well I can play that game too." and I walk away. lol. Plus, I've found that many good looking men who are the "strong silent" types either aren't terribly intelligent OR they are just incredibly introverted (they WOULD be shy wallflowers, but because they are good-looking they get attention automatically). It just doesn't do anything for me. I need a little back and forth to be interested. I need some personality to play with in order to feel connected to someone else. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 16930
From: http://forum.astro.com/cgi/forum.cgi?action=viewprofile;username=u36170365
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 11, 2010 07:30 PM
Mental chemistry is important to me, too. I forgot to mention that my Mercury is in Aries. IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
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posted August 11, 2010 10:09 PM
Jane  how are you these days? I bond a lot through eye contact. I like a person I can have interesting conversations with - but eye contact seems to be above that. I've had my most intimate bonds with men who catch my thoughts - through eye contact alone. Our synastry usually has a Neptune/Pisces component. This platonic connection is more important to me than anything physical and anything verbal - when it comes to bonding. Our mental connection has to be a little strange and mysterious. My Mercury (Pisces) is square Uranus, so I like interesting oddities.. If they were *just* chatty - it would bore me. quote:
I don't need to know their biography and I don't need them to know mine. I don't need to know where they were 1 hour ago and I don't need to tell them where I was. Sharing facts doesn't make me feel close to someone. It's all about feeling deeply connected and harmonized in our moment.
I am very similar. 
I love the moment for what it is!
My 8th house is Aquarius. Eros is in the 8th. The ruler is Uranus in Sagittarius.
So *yes* I think the 8th is connected. The ruler of my 8th and its only aspect (the square to Mercury) figures prominently. IP: Logged |
electricmind
Knowflake Posts: 981
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Registered: Dec 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 03:46 AM
hmm. i've always thought of how that sign on the cusp of the 8th house manifests. i bond intimately through conversation and the exchange of ideas. chemistry is quite important to me. i want to feel it deeply, at the core of me. indifference and ambivalence are not in my vocabulary. i'm not sure if this is a manifestation of my 8th house... 8th house in Leo with sun in Aquarius in the 2nd house. i have 3 scorpio placements, mars saturn and pluto, so that also can be why i go so deep so quickly. i hate superficiality. IP: Logged |
vertiver
Knowflake Posts: 2405
From: Portland, OR
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 04:09 AM
I connect with those who are unusual in some way and they tend to have a very dry sense of humor (Gemini Desc./Venus). Wit is a must, or else my interest falters. I've got Leo Sun/Mercury 8th H, plus vertex in 8th as well. However I want all or nothing. If there is no sexual intensity, then I go onto someone else. Sex is definitely very therapeutic to me, without it, my 1st house Saturn reigns, and I become repressed... IP: Logged |
vertiver
Knowflake Posts: 2405
From: Portland, OR
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 04:13 AM
Oh, I've got a question for you all. Do you tend to attract people (as in intense realtionships), who's planets fall in your 8th H? I seem to only attract Leo Suns with Venus in Cancer. Both Cancer and Leo are in my 8th. IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 2791
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 07:18 AM
My eight house is Leo, and my Sun (its ruler) is in Cancer/7th house. Also, the Ruler of the 7th house, my moon, is in Virgo in the 8th. Chemistry is initially important, but its mental and emotional...if that even makes sense. I connect through shared interests, through conversations about shared interests, shared emotions, doing routinely crap together (eg. grocery shopping), etc. I'd elaborate more, but I've gotta run. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 2869
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Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 07:46 AM
quote:
To grow close to someone, what matters most to me is chemistry. Everything outside of the immediate moment is extraneous. I don't need to know their biography and I don't need them to know mine. I don't need to know where they were 1 hour ago and I don't need to tell them where I was. Sharing facts doesn't make me feel close to someone. It's all about feeling deeply connected and harmonized in our moment.
Wow.. I would say; that's exactly what I am!
I could almost preach it (which I sort of did on my way to find intimacy - a (few) marvellous experience(s) which didn't work out triggered this longing) So, (till now) reality showed me that I still cannot deal with it. But ofcourse, I didn't find the right one yet  I never attract(ed) people who's planets fall in my 8th - that must be mainly Aries and a bit of the late Pisces. Neptune (in the 4th) is ruler of my 8th.
No planets in it (only chiron).
IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
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posted August 12, 2010 07:57 AM
Vertiver.. quote:
Sex is definitely very therapeutic to me
hmmm I can relate to this. Is your Mars in aspect to Neptune? quote:
Do you tend to attract people (as in intense realtionships), who's planets fall in your 8th H?
Not really. I like Aquarius placements, but Ive never had a strong sexual attraction, and as far as I know - neither have they. IP: Logged |
vertiver
Knowflake Posts: 2405
From: Portland, OR
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 12:44 PM
Yes, Dyna, my Mars is square Neptune. Would that indicate sex as therapy? But for some reason I can only attract Pisces Suns or Leo Suns (My Moon sign and Sun sign?). I also seem to attract men with either Scorpio Mars or Taurus. Scorpio really is a mixture of martian and plutonian energy, becuase Aries Mars and Scorpio Mars just work well as far as sexual chemistry, the only problem is dominance. I think when someone's Mars is square my Sun, it has a sexual undertone, because my Sun is in the 8th? IP: Logged |
raspberri
Knowflake Posts: 2550
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted August 12, 2010 12:53 PM
I have Jupiter in Taurus in the 8th house and the only person I have loved beyond compare has his Moon exactly on this point.Robert Blaschke said that when a Luminary falls in the 8th house in synastry and it isn't badly aspected by the house person's planets, it will be a very deep, important, and transforming relationship. IP: Logged |
electricmind
Knowflake Posts: 981
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Registered: Dec 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 01:37 PM
the guy i'm seeing now is the first person i know of who's planets fall in my 8th. venus, pluto and uranus all in virgo fall in my 8th house. my moon falls in in his 8th house. we have lots of 8th house/scorpio energy anyhow with his mars exactly conjunct my 10th house pluto in scorpio. we are like magnets. sexual chemistry, emotional and menta connection.IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1277
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Registered: Jul 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 03:15 PM
I should clarify what chemistry means to me. It's when in someone's presence I feel like my truest self, soaring straight into them and them into me. As long as I have that with someone, I feel close to them. They're my soul mate peeps.  Within our moment I'm able to learn all I need to know about their character. I can infer their ethics from the way they look at & talk to people, their emotional nature from what triggers various reactions in them, their interests from what grabs their eye and ear and mouth. It's not that I'm disinterested in the facts of their life. It's just that I feel bonded with them regardless of what all that information reveals. Whatever it is, I'll accept and probably be enchanted by just because it's theirs. So I don't feel an urgent need to investigate them since I already feel like I know them. Learning about their biography is a pleasurable stroll that happens at its own natural pace. Plus I find the parts of themselves they take the initiative to share with me informative. It tells me where they want to let me in & that tells me where inside them I'm touching. It's only those parts that I need them to share with me. IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1277
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Registered: Jul 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 03:22 PM
Ami - If anything comes to mind, you can dribble it out in pieces. I'll lap up every word. Nephthys - Here's a "getting to know you" question I'm very interested in. What sign is on your 8th house? Do you know your ex's 8th house sign? I ask questions. Probably too many.  The kind I ask aren't factual though. I'll be fine never knowing where someone went to school, any fact like that. What I'm utterly fascinated by is people's commentary on their life. I love getting inside people's heads and hearts and knowing their subjective take on life. I think that's from having my 8th house ruler in my 1st house in Sco. 1st = self, Sco = introspective. I want to know how they experience themselves. Like you, I'm interested in knowing this...
quote:
I am very interested to know the other persons' interests, mannerisms, behavior, personality, hobbies, favorites, etc.
and this...
quote:
What do they love, what drives them, motivates them, etc.?
...But the topics I get into are the ones that get brought up while we're together. IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1277
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Registered: Jul 2009
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posted August 12, 2010 03:28 PM
enchantress - quote:
while it is so easy for everyone else to open up to me, it is incredibly hard for me to fully open up to someone else.
Do you see anything in your chart that explains that? I think your 8th house ruler in your 10th could describe the public opening up to you, but what describes your end? I'm right with you on being bored with looks alone. Unfortunately. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
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posted August 12, 2010 03:30 PM
Jane Ami ------------------
Who looks outside, dreams :who looks inside ,wakes. IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1277
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posted August 12, 2010 03:33 PM
Dyna - quote:
how are you these days?
You mean, right now? I'm good bc I'm "talking" with you. Outside of that, very well but overworked. I'm completely the same with needing eye talk. I experience that with a lot of people, even people I don't feel that close to. So I'd feel like something was really off if I didn't have that with my VIP's. What degree is your Mercury? I wonder if that telepathy is the Uranus influence as well. We both have Mercury aspecting Uranus. (Plus Merc rules my 8th while Uranus rules yours.) The people I've had this telepathic connection with the strongest have also had Mercury-Uranus aspects. Perhaps Uranus helps us "read" another instantly, while Neptune helps us feel them. IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1277
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posted August 12, 2010 03:39 PM
vertiver -Yes, I do attract the sign on my 8th. That sign and the one on my 1st are the 2 signs I attract most frequently. (Or maybe they're just the most obvious with their attraction. ) IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1277
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posted August 12, 2010 03:44 PM
mir -Interesting that your 8th house ruler is in your 4th house. I have my 8th house ruler cnj my 4th house ruler. Maybe that 4th house influence makes us like this? Since so much of your 8th is in Aries, what does your Mars do? I can see Aries wanting to bond with the immediate personal self as well. Hmm...and my 8th house ruler is in my 1st house giving an Aries feel. So putting us together , I'd say we're like this bc of Aries/1st and Cancer/4th energies. Cardinal energy that cares most about identity. It's all about what someone IS and how our selves merge together. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 2869
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Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2010 09:12 AM
quote:
..
....Learning about their biography is a pleasurable stroll that happens at its own natural pace.Plus I find the parts of themselves they take the initiative to share with me informative. It tells me where they want to let me in & that tells me where inside them I'm touching. It's only those parts that I need them to share with me.
Your clarification = written on my body (again)! I just met ONE guy (who could also operate) on this level and really, there are no words to describe the intimacy it brought - we BOTH felt it that way.
It requires a level of sensitivity that's extremely rare to find and if it's there.... a whole new world  Hmm.. my Mars/NN (6th) squares my Moon (3rd) so see here, back again with the 4th/1st energies! (My Mars doesn't do more than this) If I remember well Jane - to make it a bit more complex
We both have our Pluto conjunct S/M midpoint (in my case 2nd/8th) Interesting placement! Power struggle and a big transformation they say.
I can't exclude this one from the way we bond intimately ..
IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
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posted August 13, 2010 09:17 AM
quote:
I just met ONE guy (who could also operate) on this level and really, there are no words to describe the intimacy it brought - we BOTH felt it that way.
It requires a level of sensitivity that's extremely rare to find and if it's there.... a whole new world
Is this the man you are with now, Mir.
My heart sings that you have this joy.
You have been through so much,dear friend.
x o x Ami ------------------
To will to be the self which one truly is,is indeed,the opposite of despair. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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