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Author
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Topic: Blame My 8th House Stellium
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2470
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 11:49 AM
 
quote:
Is your mother still alive?
Yes she is.
A few years ago she made several death threats at me and my friends...most gay...
She screamed all kinds of Christian preachings and said we all should die of A.I.D.S. and after 19 horrific messages left on my machine screaming death threats and Jesus and sin...blah blah blah....
I said something like...
"Mother you can go to the Christian Hell YOU believe in and shove all the Christian bigotries up your as$!"
After decades of shite from her,(over 1/2 a century) it was such a relief and release to say the least. 
I cannot help her so must avoid her. quote:
Is she at ALL sorry for what she did ?
The birth thing?
Yeah...somewhat.
The rest no, not in the least bit.
All part of her very closely following the fraking Bible.
IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 3529
From: Pluto
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 11:53 AM
My mother has apologized to some degree.Now, I have her number thanks to IQ ,Mblake cpn,Dyna,Pdf and some other friends.
I got that sucker on the run 
Ami
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To will to be the self which one truly is,is indeed,the opposite of despair. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2470
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 11:54 AM
What does "have her number" mean?IP: Logged |
Mblake81
Knowflake Posts: 238
From:
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 16, 2010 11:56 AM
I can sometimes find myself clinging to my sense of "me"comparable in a sense to your mother and her bible. If that is her sense of self, then i can see how she can be driven to denounce her own son, Humans have a want for puritanism, where ever it can be found. -I try to catch myself doing it. IP: Logged |
Peri
Knowflake Posts: 1272
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 11:59 AM
~ IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 3529
From: Pluto
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:02 PM
Well, LEXX
This is my way of healing---SEEING.
I was blind to her cuz I shut down my senses i.e.became numb.
Furthermore, I sided with her as in the Stockholm Syndrome or cults.
People take the POV of the aggressor/abuser. I did retain my own POV until my father sided with her.
I, always, thought he had my back but he didn't.
He had to retain his own view of reality which was that she was OK. I went numb at 14. Then, I could not see/feel/take in information/grow Npw--what I mean by have her number is simply that I can SEE her--somewhat--not totally. It started-big time--with IQ doing my charts--personal readings.
I recommend that to anyone.
It is as important as any health care professional,maybe more. IQ can SEE. If you can see and face truth,you can heal. My mother is a bully/coward. She is running down the street now cuz I SEE her i.e have her number. Evil likes to hide and can only work when it hides in darkness.
If you shine the light on it,it melts like the Wicked Witch in Wizard of Oz.
Ami
PS You have to take your own power back,as IQ prescribed to me.
To me--that is Pluto/Mars ,astrologically
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To will to be the self which one truly is,is indeed,the opposite of despair. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2470
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:06 PM
Mblake81
Yes, it makes sense from that pov, I agree.
quote:
If that is her sense of self, then i can see how she can be driven to denounce her own son,
Worse from her pov...is on top of being born an abomination (Biblical wise..deformed folks are seen as evil or full of evil, outcasts)with hunchback, clubfeet...other issues...the one most heinous to her was my being not easily identified as a boy or girl at birth.
I was born dual gendered and so am not 100% male nor 100% female.
Was externally male, internally female.
I identify as male even though forced as a child both medically and surgically to live as a female. Not my choice.
I should have been left intersex or what was once called hermaphrodite.
So she has denounced me as both a daughter and son.
Too bad she was not learned in the aspects of The Divine Androgyne.
PS.Thanks for referring to me as a son.  IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2470
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:09 PM
I shall return...must go now...
ultrasounds, biopsies to go have soon.
Later folks!IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 3529
From: Pluto
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:09 PM
My Goodness,LEXX
I am humbled with what you went through and you are STILL here.
Ami
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To will to be the self which one truly is,is indeed,the opposite of despair. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2470
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:14 PM
Hey...you know...
even the bad stuff is fascinating!
Life is a grand adventure and adventures even the best ones have their good and bad times.
So heres to life and the bedrocks of
determination
fascination
curiosity
willpower
logic
IP: Logged |
Peri
Knowflake Posts: 1272
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:15 PM
In the ancient times, you would have been worshipped, LEXX, people believed hermaphrodites possessed many miraculous powers and had the ability to answer prayers, and work magic for desperate followers in times of need ... and I did read somewhere on LL about your unusual abilities IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2470
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:20 PM
Peri
Like The Divine Androgyne.
Oh, worshiped is not my desire, but respect is nice.
Yes, I do have access to some unusual abilities. Not going to get into that here.
Always been different.Edit to add:
quote:
"Androgynous" (including both male and female qualities) means that this first principle embodies within itself the opposites as unity. The psychologist Carl Jung had a great deal to say regarding the Divine Androgyne as the principle for the unification of opposites. Most interesting, however, is the reference to the Supreme Godhead as Anthropos (a non-gender-specific term meaning "Man/Woman" or human being). This has parallels with the Indian Vedic Purusha (Primordial Godhead Person) myth; as well as with the (possibly Gnostically derived) Kabbalistic idea of Adam Kadmon - the "Primordial Man". In all these cosmologies there is the representation of the original Divine Personality as a sort of supra-cosmic person.
IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 3529
From: Pluto
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:23 PM
I am glad this thread had a life of it's own to stay on this forum lol
I am humbled and awed at people's strength such as LEXX, humility such as Peri, wisdom such as IQ and MBlake.
Thank you so much to EVERY person who gave their heartfelt POV.
I will come back later and say thank you to each person!
I feel overwhelmed.
I am gonna go for the moment.  Ami ------------------
To will to be the self which one truly is,is indeed,the opposite of despair. IP: Logged |
Diablo
Knowflake Posts: 620
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 12:43 PM
Ami and Lexx, my blessings to you, as well as love and joy for the horrific abuse you have both suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to love and protect you.Ami, it makes me very happy to see that you are starting the healing process. Keep talking babe, its doing wonders. We are all therapists and our own counselors in one way or another Lexx, it doesn't matter whether you are male or female or both, the soul doesn't give itself a gender, it lets you make up your own mind for the life you are living in this lifetime. The God your mother uses to pit her evil on you put you on this beautiful earth because He loves you and wants you to be happy and blissful as he intended . Both of you (Ami & Lexx), if life wasn't so hard you wouldn't be able to appreciate the infinite truths the universe has bestowed on you nor the beauty of the fuked up world we live in. Hugs to you both, your mutual support is beautiful to see xoxoxoxo IP: Logged |
Mblake81
Knowflake Posts: 238
From:
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 16, 2010 01:05 PM
Good things can hide in the dark too ami, Its very hard to know sometimes.It requires investigation IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 1595
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 01:39 PM
quote:
There are so many people living lives of quiet desperation BECAUSE they cannot say these things.
Yep.  IP: Logged |
Winged Leo
Knowflake Posts: 238
From:
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted August 16, 2010 02:47 PM
quote:
IQ said:
BTW, As individuals, Lara, yourself and WLeo are specialists in many occult areas but the reasons for arguments are not personal, they are astrological. Do not let it bother either three of you, you are all above argumentativeness in your Higher Self level. You three would get along great in person. The web, in these grand-cross laced times, can make anybody cross.
 IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 3529
From: Pluto
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 05:03 PM
Did you get my e mail Peri. If not --I had the dash wrong lol x o
Ami ------------------
To will to be the self which one truly is,is indeed,the opposite of despair. IP: Logged |
DD
Knowflake Posts: 5607
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 07:03 PM
One of my mum`s favourite memories of my childhood is how I turned to her and said, apparently almost "reverently": "Mama, life is beautiful."I still feel that way. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2470
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 07:24 PM
I am quite happy at the moment!  IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 2470
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 07:31 PM
IP: Logged |
popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 1408
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 07:35 PM
I thought I was in wrong forum. I cant see any astrology in here lol IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 3529
From: Pluto
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 07:49 PM
Thank you ((((Dear Friends)))for answering.
I don't feel as alone/unique/weird lol
Life gets a little easier to bear when you know you are not alone.
X O Ami
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To will to be the self which one truly is,is indeed,the opposite of despair. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 1595
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2010 08:21 PM
LOL Lexx, I love that image.  popcorn, I think it was moved here because of the title (8th house stellium). A few people mentioned their own 8th house placments... mine are Moon, Venus, South Node and Vertex in Gemini. IP: Logged |
Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake Posts: 645
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted August 16, 2010 08:40 PM
LOL LEXX I love the image also!IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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