posted February 22, 2012 03:06 AM            

The saddest part of all is my man held me all night and consoled me while I cried for another. All the while telling me to follow my heart. If that's not true love i don't know what is...

posted February 22, 2012 08:09 PM            

You did an analysis of my three major relationships in your thread over in Personal Readings.

This guy is the crush...

posted February 22, 2012 09:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by JoJo:
RunAround,

You did an analysis of my three major relationships in your thread over in Personal Readings.

This guy is the crush...

Someone kill me now...

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Oh, how come i didnt see the double whammy venus square pluto in the synastry, by the way? Was it because there was no birthtime? Try putting in noon for his birth time and tell me if both venus square pluto aspects still show up

posted February 23, 2012 07:41 PM            

I sent you a private email off the board. It's to painful to make so public.

posted June 04, 2012 09:41 PM            

I have even considered counseling. I have struggled with this for a year and nine months now.

posted June 04, 2012 11:31 PM            

I think it's because you don't have closure. I got closure with my guy.

You should try getting closure with yours and ask him how he feels.

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 02:39 PM            

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 02:43 PM            

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 03:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I agree.I hope it is hard for mine ,too

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I totally agree.

It was hard prying myself away.
We weren't in an official r/s and weren't seeing anyone else. Yes, it was the wrong time. But when is it the right time for a complicated love?

As deluded stated: I am a very strong willed person but ended up obsessed with him against my will!

Totally agree with that.

The aspects we had:

My pluto (libra) in 12th conjunct his moon (libra) in 3rd. 1°48a
My saturn (libra) in 12th conjunct his saturn (libra) in 3rd. 1°24s
My pluto (libra) in 12th trine his eros (gemini) in 10th. 0°05a
My venus (leo) in 9th/10th quintile his pluto (libra) in 3rd. -0°10s

We have a lot more eros and psyche contacts but I didn't want to list them all. I'm lazy.
:P

I agree with the rest of the posters. Move on with your life one step at a time. It's hard but definitely doable. I still think about him every day' it's been two months since I've spoken to him.

Yet my emotions are slowly checking out. the busier I am the better I feel. I don't even think about him then. Do that. Get busy with life. Astrology, reseaching aspects all have their place, but should not rule your mind. You make decisions willfully. Therefore the whole cheating aspect, is something you need to sit down and think about.

Lead a healthy fulfilling life. Meet as many people as you can, then you won't be discussing individual charts all day long. lol. There would be way too many to do then right?

posted June 10, 2012 03:26 PM            

I'm glad for the experience, though. It changed my life. I can say what it feels to have been in love now
All the stuff in the movies is so second rate to the real thing. Seriously. They have it all wrong

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 03:28 PM            

Venus Mutually Aspects Pluto

You will experience the heights and depths, love and hate, attraction and repulsion, agony and ecstasy in this relationship. A powerful, compelling fascination and irresistible sexual attraction draws the two of you together like magnets. You love each other with a depth of feeling that is surprising even to yourselves. The powerful charismatic power that you have over each other can be used to manipulate one another <--(I did, and he looked like he was going to cry), and dominance, control, or jealousy easily become hot issues between you. Whether this is a brief passionate encounter or a lifelong attachment, you will change one another profoundly. <--he did. Maybe he didnt want to be with me because I told him the race issue between us would be a problem with my parents, and he told me his family is racist, too. Either way he posted something very sweet on his facebook when we stopped being friends, which I'll always remember.

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 03:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lucia23:
Well, astrology aside, that kind of "relationship" is pretty typical when ending a long-term (10+) year situation...it's too brutally depressing to face the truth of going off to be on your own, with no promise of wonderful, thrilling, transcendent new love. People with watery charts often just do not have the courage to leave a relationship without the feeling that there could be something out there.

But at the time you cheated, there may also have been transiting Neptune or Pluto in hard aspect to your personal planets.

When you say that he said "he's never wanted anyone in his life until he met me"---but yet he is still living with someone, in a situation that would be way easier to get out of than a 15-year marriage--that makes me think NEPTUNE. It may be that you feel this deep horniness and huge soul connection not in spite of the fact that he is unavailable and kind of an ass, but BECAUSE of it. You're wounded from the 15-year thing.

When I say "kind of an ass"--it's one thing for him to have lied, betrayed, and cheated on his partner. But to tell you that he's never wanted anyone else, and then to continue living with this person who, based on that, he never wanted in his life, is him being really awful and disrespectful to both her and you. And also lying to at least one of you. It would actually be less assy if after having those feelings for someone new, he had left her.

Empty houses mean that sometimes, when a powerful planet is transiting through them, it can feel temporarily like having that placement natally. Whereas if the house has planets in it in the natal chart, you'll feel some version of their energy there for your whole life.

If you were able to find a really good therapist who could help you deal directly with your feelings of grief, loss, and shame about your real-life marriage not being a good one, that would be ideal--then instead of projecting your hopes for the future onto a fantasy figure who is still living with another woman, you could start to make deeper changes in your own life. (But, if it's a bad therapist, that might be worse than nothing.) Obsessing about the synastry on astrology websites can just make it worse and less healthy, like when people with eating disorders go to those pro-ana websites to spend a lot of time with other people with eating disorders.

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This is the equivalent of a 'Like' on Facebook. That advice is so perfectly right-on, befitting, and EXACTLY what the OP needed to hear. Three cheers, Lucia. I hope she takes your advice to heart.

The truth's a tough thing to hear, but oh, God, so necessary.

posted June 10, 2012 03:47 PM            

No need to push her. It was more painful for me that way, when pushed.

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 04:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by JoJo:
Roberto, I agree. The part that was bugging me the most is that I'm not the obsessive type.

Ami Anne, does it matter that it's my Pluto touching his Moon, and does that mean that he's likely experiencing the same feelings?

I can still feel when he thinks of me. It's the craziest thing I've ever experienced. I don't know if it's my imagination or what, but the times that I can "feel" him, I feel that this is as hard on him as it is on me. I wish I was courageous enough to make contact, but I'm not. LOL

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Odd. I just noticed the years: 1967/1980. That's the exact match up, (except he's the Cancerian, I'm the Libran) of a very important relationship which started with SO MUCH KARMIC INDUCED PASSION and settled into a calm, stable friendship, allowing me to finally go into the psychotherapy I needed, and for him to come to terms with PTSD he'd been avoiding for decades. I'm married (now). He's never been. I'm the longest 'relationship' he's ever had.

The psychic bond was staggering the more we spent time in each other's physical presence. I'd KNOW when he was in the area. I could FEEL it. Yes, that's Moon, Venus, and Pluto. (I suspect Neptune, too).

For us, we have:

Sun-BML-Pluto opposite Moon-Saturn-ML-Eros
Sun-Pluto conjunct Mars
Venus-ASC conjunct Pluto
Neptune conjunct Moon
Venus-Karma conjunct NNode

It was a different sort of obsessive chemistry than I have with my best friend. Intense need to relate intimately; to have that -knowledge- of each other in our -history-. Unlike the dedication and obligation I feel to my (now) husband, and his family. If my husband and I hadn't met in this life, I would've been fine with accepting my best friend to be my most primary relationship. But with this man, (my costar) it was always different. I learnt from him. He's been something of a mentor, and I've been able to repay this slowly, as he'd never attempted to forge an emotional bond with anyone. Eerily being exactly like a character I'd created over a decade ago - something which, to this day, is staggering to us both, and obviously no coincidence.

So, perhaps, we were playing out a part of our karma that's the usual stuff of star-crossed legend. Passionate, troubled, ill-timed love affair. I'm just grateful that I kept to my path, married my husband, and have allowed the passion to cool into the stability, camaraderie, and close kinship we now feel. The passions still flare at times, but not nearly as often. Neither of us could handle it then. Now, it's a different story.

I'm going to say this is the result of those synastric Pluto ties, and the Neptune transit. That'll make everything crazy.

For the record though, and this is NOT a criticism of you; it's simply my experience - I've never cheated. Ever. Period, paragraph. The first time I discovered that I was stuck in an unhappy commitment was in college, and I told my then-boyfriend, not-yet-fiance, straight-out. HE made the choice to stay, DESPITE my saying, VERY clearly, that I was going to be dating this other man - who had been a very good friend of mine for years, with whom I felt an INCREDIBLE chemistry when we met. (It would've been a very powerful relationship; he knew that, and, our being so young - only 22/23 - he couldn't take it, and left suddenly, breaking my heart, unable to apologise for it, and express his regret at 'being so young and foolish' only several years later. Then he moved to Prague - (PRAGUE!) and I moved to L.A. And that was that.)

I've kept this 'method' since that day. If I feel an overwhelming chemistry coupled with a soul bond, (and ONLY coupled with a soul bond), I'm honest about it. I'm not sure if that's right, or wrong, but it's allowing my husband and I to take a journey together I feel few marriages have the opportunity to. That of genuine, unconditional love.

The greatest irony being that he and I started seeing each other when he was still in a relationship with another woman - which was, indeed, known to me. He had been in an open marriage prior, has never been possessive, and seems torn between the societal expectation of the way marriage should be, and how he really feels about how people should relate. (Uranus as 7HR in his 2H, exactly conjunct my Sun).

All in all, I say operate by a code of honesty, and take the rest as it comes. First, do no harm - if at all possible.

posted June 10, 2012 05:28 PM            

I would suggest, humbly, that it's not 'the end' here, but, in SOME circumstances, the indication that you need to approach the situation differently. Expand your mind, and perspective. IF you believe this, IF the ONLY reason is 'the rejection', you need to listen more closely to your heart and your instinct.

I've been here before, and before now. It wasn't true rejection then, either. I'm fortunate to be able to say I've never experienced TRUE rejection, as I've never allowed myself to truly invest in another person who hadn't SHOWN me, unequivocally, at SOME point, that they were, too.

'I love you' doesn't go away when it's legitimate. But it can be buried under politics and drama and agendas. You have the peel that away, and listen to the rhythm of what can't even be spoken or truly expressed outside of your own spirits in intangible communication.

Hell of a lot less comforting or reliable than anything here on this plane, but at times, it's all we've got ... left.

posted June 10, 2012 08:52 PM            

He was also a libra, and I am a cancer =)

I actaully asked a tarot question here on lindaland, and the description I got about the way he felt about me was so detailed, vivid, and SPOT ON with the way he acted and I intuited that he felt, that I am convinced he did feel about me the way I did about him.

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 09:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by JoJo:
I can't believe I'm sharing this, but I just found out I got played in the worst possible way. This guy is a serial cheater.

Wow...I've never been conned before. I can usually spot them a mile away.

What a let down.

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Girl, I felt the same way....
And what's worse I tried to overlook all the signs. I was totally conned as well.

posted June 10, 2012 09:29 PM            

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 09:47 PM            

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Imagination is intelligence having fun.
—George Scialabba

posted June 10, 2012 10:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Indigo, that's true. I've told my story to a few people, two of them being grown women in their 50's, and they also told me to go with how I felt he felt about me. They also told me it was hard to deny that it seemed he liked me as well from the little things he did. Our interaction was pretty dangerous to us both, I think, because we were both obsessed with each other, and I especially was quite manipulative of him. But it might have been in reaction to his manipulation of me, I couldn't tell. It was very easy for us to hurt each other, and we definitely abused of our manipulative power over each other a couple of times where it looked like either of us was going to cry. We would text all day from the morning till late at night, long paragraphs. When texting wasnt available and he was in another state, we would message each other on facebook and write long paragraphs about absolutely nothing. Our online conversations didn't have any real wittiniess or chemistry (even though in real we would have a blast together), they happened because we needed to keep talking to each other. It was actually kind of painful how we just needed to communicate because it seemed we missed each other otherwise, even if what we talked about was complete nonsense. He was going to kiss me in the car, but I rejected him because he had told me he didnt want to go out with me.

He was also a libra, and I am a cancer =)

I actaully asked a tarot question here on lindaland, and the description I got about the way he felt about me was so detailed, vivid, and SPOT ON with the way he acted and I intuited that he felt, that I am convinced he did feel about me the way I did about him.

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Ahh, of course he did. I get that entirely, too. We're in CONSTANT communication. Hell, it's been that way for almost 6 years now - with a few gaps due to things we've overcome. I've no doubt he felt about you as you knew he did. But I also believe he didn't want to 'go out with you' i.e., start a relationship. It was too intense, and he was scared. He probably would have accepted a more casual thing, but that's not where you wanted to go with how you felt. I get that, too.

Mine's a double Sag with Ven/Mar in Aquarius. Keeps things interesting. I know how he really feels. I've ALWAYS known, even before he 'didn't' say that he loved me. (He did; he just 'doesn't remember it', and it was 3 years ago, I'd moved, was seeing someone, etc., late at night - you know; that kind of thing). So.

When we addressed the issue 2 months ago, he said that he'd 'give me a list, if I wanted it' going into 'detail' over all of the reasons why he doesn't want a romantic relationship with me. With blah, blah, blah, you're my writing partner, my confidante, my adviser, my, [insert here]. And concluding it with, 'please don't stop talking to me.'

Which told me EVERYTHING. Hell, his ACTIONS had been telling me everything for YEARS. But his words were always withheld - the ones I needed - except in a three month period when I was single / unattached three years ago. I try not to dwell on those three months.

Anyway.

We found a compromise which works for the both of us, and he'd finally just outright blurted why did I need him to explain his incapability for committed relationships when I already knew this about him? I told him I didn't. And I had no idea why he felt the sudden need to explain.

Long story short, we'll see what the future holds. But since he was no longer fearing that I was secretly longing to leave my husband, making him a homewrecker, and forcing him to face the depth of his feelings for me - everything's been cool. He's been completely honest with me, and we've slowly gotten back to the blatant honesty, and solid relationship we had years before.

I don't know why I kept digging. But for some reason, 'Malibu Barbie' had a sincere need to tell 'Houdini' WHAT was UP. Know what I mean? ;p

posted June 10, 2012 10:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
^Very interesting, but what's that youtube video about lol

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