posted March 13, 2011 07:09 AM            

I'm new here and have been trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me. From the moment I met this person, we were connected. After the initial meeting and several days worth of intense talking and texting, we spent several months trying not to communicate because the pull was so strong and we were both in other relationships. Then four months later we finally gave in and saw each other. It was the most awe inspiring, mind blowing experience I've ever had (if you know what I mean), and based on things he said that night and in the weeks following, I'm certain he had the same reaction to me. It's been four months now since we've seen each other and because we both know it's wrong. I'm now single but he's not (no marriage or kids, just a live in gf) so we agreed that we shouldn't talk or see each other because we can't seem to resist one another (believe it or not, neither one of us has cheated before). But this connection is so powerful that I believe I can feel him thinking of me and vice versa. Early on he commented that "we" scare him because he can feel me. He also said he's never wanted anyone in his life until he met me, and I feel the same. It's like a yearning deep in my soul that I can't get rid of and it's making me crazy because this is not like me. I have always been able to put someone out of my mind like they didn't exist when I didn't want to have anything to do with them anymore, but with him, I simply can't. It's awful and gut wrenching.

So can someone please look at our synastry and tell me what the heck is going on? No matter what I tell myself, I have this feeling (inner knowing perhaps?) that we're going to be together and I need to just be patient. I think I've been ruined. Ha Ha

I don't know much, but I am struck by the number of Pluto and Venus contacts in our charts, and according to Clairvision, we're both very "Plutonian"...and I don't know if this matters, but my Mars is in Scorpio. Here's our synastry:

Me Pisces - Him Cancer

Me to Him ~
Sun square Venus
Sun trine Uranus
Moon square Mars
Mercury trine Mercury
Venus square Mercury
Uranus square Venus
Pluto sextile Sun
Pluto sextile Mercury
Pluto square Venus
Pluto sextile Uranus
Pluto square Neptune

Him to Me ~
Sun sextile Pluto
Mercury trine Sun
Mercury square Venus
Mercury trine Neptune
Mercury sextile Pluto
Venus square Uranus
Venus square Sun
Venus square Mercury
Venus square Pluto
Mars square moon
Mars opposed Lilith
Uranus trine Sun
Uranus sextile Pluto
Pluto squar Jupiter

Oppositions ~
Sun - Moon
Mercury - Moon
Venus - Mars
Venus - Pluto
Chiron - Mars

Conjunctions ~
Saturn - Pluto
Mercury - Jupiter
Moon - Uranus
Pluto- Moon
Pluto - Saturn
NNd - Chiron
NNd - Pallas

posted March 13, 2011 07:15 PM            

I have a question about the Pluto contacts - who gets reborn, the Pluto person or the other person.

Also, am I the only one that would be feeling this strong in this relationship?

posted March 13, 2011 08:45 PM            

You're more likely to glean valuable insight about this relationship from looking at your own natal--do you have a longterm pattern of cheating and obsession? Or is this behavior being triggered by some transits? Heavy Pluto or Venus in the natal chart, and challengingly-aspected planets in the 7th and 8th houses, can cause obsession/fixation on unavailable people as an issue that the person needs to deal with. If it's a transit-based, rather than natal, issue, look for not only challenging transits to Venus and Pluto, but also at Neptune triggering your personal planets.

A tough Neptune transit can make you unable to leave an unhappy relationship or change an unhappy, unsatisfying life without spinning a lot of fantasies around it. It sounds like you first cheated with this Cancer while you were in an unhappy relationship that has since ended. If fixating on someone new who is not really fully single and ready/able to be in a healthy, honest relationship isn't a natal problem/longstanding pattern, a Neptune transit or some combination of Neptune/Venus/Pluto triggers may have caused it.

posted March 13, 2011 10:36 PM            

But at the time you cheated, there may also have been transiting Neptune or Pluto in hard aspect to your personal planets.

When you say that he said "he's never wanted anyone in his life until he met me"---but yet he is still living with someone, in a situation that would be way easier to get out of than a 15-year marriage--that makes me think NEPTUNE. It may be that you feel this deep horniness and huge soul connection not in spite of the fact that he is unavailable and kind of an ass, but BECAUSE of it. You're wounded from the 15-year thing.

When I say "kind of an ass"--it's one thing for him to have lied, betrayed, and cheated on his partner. But to tell you that he's never wanted anyone else, and then to continue living with this person who, based on that, he never wanted in his life, is him being really awful and disrespectful to both her and you. And also lying to at least one of you. It would actually be less assy if after having those feelings for someone new, he had left her.

Empty houses mean that sometimes, when a powerful planet is transiting through them, it can feel temporarily like having that placement natally. Whereas if the house has planets in it in the natal chart, you'll feel some version of their energy there for your whole life.

If you were able to find a really good therapist who could help you deal directly with your feelings of grief, loss, and shame about your real-life marriage not being a good one, that would be ideal--then instead of projecting your hopes for the future onto a fantasy figure who is still living with another woman, you could start to make deeper changes in your own life. (But, if it's a bad therapist, that might be worse than nothing.) Obsessing about the synastry on astrology websites can just make it worse and less healthy, like when people with eating disorders go to those pro-ana websites to spend a lot of time with other people with eating disorders.

posted March 30, 2011 06:15 PM            

It's odd, haveing seen them in different threads, literally all your planets-in-signs, Sun through Pluto, match exactly those of someone I met over 15 years ago, when she was relatively early into her marriage. For that matter, hers, like yours, is recently ended. I heard that several months ago from my former girlfriend, who introduced me to her and her husband. Prior to hearing of their divorce, I'd not seen them in several years, at least.

But I recall clearly the very particular spark I felt, and that I sensed was reciprocated the first time I met this woman. For me, it was to the point of being almost awkward, so certain I was that this electrical current must be palpable. (I'm not so certain it wasn't but I have a Sun/Neptune conjunction in Scorpio sextiled by a Moon/Pluto conjunction in Virgo, so I'm aware of delusion and fixation aspects.) One evening when the four of us were together Linda Goodman's Love Signs came off the shelf; turns were taken reading aloud some of the applicable compatibility notes. It was odd, for me anyway. (For some reason I recall her husband as a Libra.)

I certainly never forgot her after we stopped coming in contact. And, more to the point of your topic, felt a strong conviction that I would've stayed on her mind too. Knowing her birthday (obviously), I took a look. I saw the Venus Aries and deduced that no matter what she might've felt, it was in her to let it drop and move on. On the other hand, there was the Piscean aspect and, as a Scorpio Mars myself, I take note of that position when I see it in someone else's chart. (Some charts more than others, if you know what I mean.)

Touching briefly on a little of what Lucia23 said so eloquently (and which I was helped by hearing) I am only now, a few months from the ending of my relationship, noting the potentially insidious and even debilitating consequence of sublimating the necessity - for this MarsScorp, anyway - of experiencing a truly satisfying sexual relationship with one's partner. That, which I'll leave there, is but one area that has me looking back (and ahead) at why we sometimes stay too long in situations that aren't really what feed us, or they do but not in the way we need to be fed, when the truth is, we can leave.

(It becomes quickly more complex than that, of course; the whys and hows of the heart and soul are not always obvious and don't make a lot of sense until today's tears and blood end up fertilizing our gardens of tomorrow.)

Anyway, like I said, kind of odd to have arrived here through a search yesterday and finding how exactly (and a little eerily) all your planets line up with those of the woman of whom I've written.

(It would really be a trip if you were also a skier.)

Anyway, good luck with your process; you seem healthy with it. I, too, am in the very early stages of cleaning out my closet; it's going to take awhile but there's already more room and more light. Can't say it's something I'd been in any rush to show anyone - there's some embarrassing stuff on the floor and walls, I need a mop and scouring brush - but at some point it'll be a space I can look at and feel good about hanging my new clothes in later.

OH. Almost forgot, and I think I'll look again now to see what else I might remember, but regarding the synastry, her South Node conjuncts my Sun (in the 5th). Her Moon conjuncts my Saturn (in the 7th, Capricorn), among other aspects, including, since you mentioned Pluto contacts, her Pluto sextiling my Mars. From what I have read, Pluto contacts tend to be the agitating catalyst to planets it touches in synastry. (My Mars sure as hell was.) I suppose it's accurate to say that in this case, yes, my Mars was empowered, in the sense of feeling the way a Scorpio Mars wants to feel. (You likely know a little about that.) Pluto's touch has some weight to it; I guess I'd liken it to be being something like whatever it is dropped in the water that causes ripples and tidal waves to venture from splashdown to the various far corners of our lives.

By the way, I can't help but note those squares his Sun, Mercury and Pluto make to your Venus. Googling something close to "synastry squares to venus" (or some permutation thereof) will be a net that'll bring in a few fish worth looking at. That's some significant squaring-up to your Love Nature. Check out squares in synastry; I'll bet you are or already have. Squares will agitate; they can be prickly. A Pluto square to another's Mars, for example, can turn up the heat in the bedroom but it might also be the source of some innate tension that will require some special handling sometimes. But you know, make-up sex has its perks and some folks really feed off that friction. Still, a seriously squared Venus is something I'd pay attention to were I contemplating involvement with anyone aspecting my Venus the way his does/did yours. (Some of the indecision on his part - or reluctance, anyway - to leave his girlfriend for someone who so rocked his world may well be in that Venus-getting-squared dynamic.)

For that matter, taking note of what seems like plenty of Cancer energy, it may be - generously generalizing here - something like a man who possibly prefers the safety and security of what is familiar (and maybe nurturing in a particular way). Sometimes our worlds are electrified and shaken up and we are pulled away from what we know toward the unfamiliar. Some of us jump into what's next, bravely; others will ponder, even want and know they need it, yet dig in those heels when they get to the precipice. As a Cancer Ascendant (with a weighty Moon), I'm familiar myself with the instinct to maintain the status quo, if only because it's familiarity is safer. His Mars squaring your Moon, for example, and to extrapolate liberally, might actually assume the form of him not ACTING (his Mars)on his feelings and thus you not getting what you need, and what you FELT so strongly(your Moon)not being fed. Crabs may like what they see, peering out from those tidal cubbyholes, they may really want it, badly. But they might also be more likely than other astrological archetypes to stay right where they are, just because it feels safer on some deep level. Maybe. Sometimes. Just a thought to gargle and spit out.

Get back to where you once belonged.

posted March 30, 2011 11:46 PM            

Mine:

posted March 31, 2011 10:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lucia23:
Well, astrology aside, that kind of "relationship" is pretty typical when ending a long-term (10+) year situation...it's too brutally depressing to face the truth of going off to be on your own, with no promise of wonderful, thrilling, transcendent new love. People with watery charts often just do not have the courage to leave a relationship without the feeling that there could be something out there.
But at the time you cheated, there may also have been transiting Neptune or Pluto in hard aspect to your personal planets.
When you say that he said "he's never wanted anyone in his life until he met me"---but yet he is still living with someone, in a situation that would be way easier to get out of than a 15-year marriage--that makes me think NEPTUNE. It may be that you feel this deep horniness
and huge soul connection not in spite of the fact that he is unavailable and kind of an ass, but BECAUSE of
it. You're wounded from the 15-year thing.

When I say "kind of an ass"--it's one thing for him to have lied, betrayed, and cheated on his partner. But to tell you that he's never wanted anyone else, and then to continue living with this person who, based on that, he never wanted in his life, is him being really awful and disrespectful to both her and you. And also lying to at least one of you. It would actually be less assy if after having those feelings for someone new, he had left her.

Empty houses mean that sometimes, when a powerful planet is transiting through them, it can feel temporarily like having that placement natally. Whereas if the house has planets in it in the natal chart, you'll feel some version of their energy there for your whole life
If you were able to find a really good therapist who could help you deal directly with your feelings of grief, loss, and shame about your real-life marriage not being a good one, that would be ideal--then instead of
projecting your hopes for the future onto a fantasy figure who is still living with another woman, you could start to make deeper changes in your own life. (But, if it's a bad therapist, that might be worse than nothing.) Obsessing about the synastry on astrology websites can just make it worse and less healthy, like when
people with eating disorders go to those pro-ana websites to spend a lot of time with other people with eating disorders.

---

posted March 31, 2011 10:46 AM            

It is a learning experience of oneself and of life.
That is one man's opinion.Opinions are like noses.We all have one and they ,usually,have a few holes in them

PS I,merely,state my opinion.I do not fight.

posted March 31, 2011 10:50 AM            

Which is actually much more interesting, astrology-wise. Y'all're are a couple days off but seem to have shared very particular life stages.

Ami Ann,

posted March 31, 2011 11:47 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by roberto:
JoJo, nah. Y'aint.

Which is actually much more interesting, astrology-wise. Y'all're are a couple days off but seem to have shared very particular life stages.

Ami Ann,

I am only recently beginning to explore astrology; your notes on Pluto/Moon are well taken. The more I get into that dynamic (an exact conjunction), the more I'm beginning to understand that which previously was experienced without any information about the dynamics at hand, not the least of which is a powerful propensity to obsess, as well as desire; it's a bunch. Point being, it's so much easier knowing there are forces at play and that it's not so much as I thought a matter of fixing problems. It also seems an aspect that may greatly accelerate encountering and dealing with one's Shadow.

---

Where have you been all my life,Roberto
You said it with perfection !

posted March 31, 2011 06:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by roberto:
it's so much easier knowing there are forces at play

---

Roberto, I agree. The part that was bugging me the most is that I'm not the obsessive type.

Ami Anne, does it matter that it's my Pluto touching his Moon, and does that mean that he's likely experiencing the same feelings?

posted March 31, 2011 06:53 PM            

Keep your questions coming ,Jo. I love to talk about these things.
How do YOU feel--in terms of what *I* said about Pluto ?

posted March 31, 2011 07:53 PM            

It's interesting though, because he initially made contact, then we'd not talk for a while, then I'd contact him and he'd be as assertive towards me as I was towards him. I was the one who initally put the brakes on everything. But once I said it, he readily agreed.

When I was younger, I used to be possesive and jealous, but I haven't been that way for 20 years now. I think jealousy is such a wasted emotion and being possesive is a sign of insecurity.

posted April 01, 2011 07:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by blugrey:
The only time I've ever experienced this is with my first unrequited love. I've never experienced it since. We have a tight Venus (His) - Pluto (Mine) trine and a loose Moon (his) - Pluto (mine) conjunction. His Pluto is also inconjunct my Venus and we have a Venus (His) Mars (mine) conjunction. Usually I'm able to give up on people easily and it doesn't weigh on my heart if I get rejected or something falls apart, but seriously, I feel like I can never get over this person. Its been 6 years. Rationally, I can explain this away, but it's probably the only time I've been so emotionally invested which is hard for someone like me.

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posted April 04, 2011 03:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by blugrey:
Uh.... I don't. I try not to think about it, sometimes it comes up, but for the most part I Think I try to distract myself from it since at this point there is no way to solve it. Maybe once we meet again this year it will be able to be let go of, but I don't know. He's the only person I trust and the only person that I don't feel the need to protect myself from.

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