posted January 02, 2012 03:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by birdy:
ehh coffee, im assuming youre not quite the traditional type? lol...

Carl- You seem like a sweet guy. Ignore the rules and garbage that you hear on tv/news media/movies/etc. a girl will like you for you... you'd be amazed how loved someone can make you feel for being you. its just so rare. but its rare so when it comes, you'll be ready to cherish it.

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No, I'm not a (robot programmed by rules) traditionalist who has a set of rules for Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right!

posted January 02, 2012 03:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Coffee:

These people are telling you to hide your personality. They may tell you that they are trying to bring the best qualities of your personality. They are telling you not to be you, as you are. Instead of impressing the woman, make her impress you!

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And yes, Coffee, I believe in hiding negative aspects of my personality only allowing the positive aspects to shine out at initial meetings. Nobody's perfect but no need to advertise the shortcomings.

posted January 02, 2012 04:23 AM            

Four months later, I was let go from work and would never had been able to afford my car payments.

See? So everything happens for a reason.

Carl, darling, you just need move. I don't mean just move cities... you need to really MOVE. EXPLORE. You're not meant to be a lone wolf, nor are you meant to be waiting for someone to finally come along. You're an adventurous, versatile man with a fondness for exploration. You're still young and have expressed interest in travelling abroad extensively many times. Additionally, I remember you saying that you haven't found a job yet. Perhaps this is your time to do that! Perhaps teach English abroad? Peace Corps? Travel Writing? Etc! Who knows... maybe on one of your trips you'll find the perfect girl that you've been looking for, with the same interests and passions, that will travel the world with you. So says this idealist.

posted January 02, 2012 04:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Amelia,

Thank you, but it all boils down to common sense. Just think of how you like to be treated, and just treat others the same way.

Of course, the rare minority of guys would call me effeminate for being in tune with female emotions, etc. or a traitor etc. whatever.

Human relationships are complex, but among the most important factors of success in life.

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posted January 02, 2012 04:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
Well said RegardesPlatero!! Thank you for taking the tiime to write such lengthy post! I cldn't hv put it as well as you!

Cheers!

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glad that you enjoyed it! I appreciate your compliments :-)

posted January 02, 2012 09:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ElizabethO:
If you intend on actually being with someone, every day can't be like a date. That's just fcking exhausting. So be who you are, how you feel, what you think... at that moment in time, nothing else. No filters. Maybe a smile even if you feel a bit down, just so she doesn't feel awkward. Beyond that, nothing. More often than not, people don't break up because someone changed - they break up because how they see each other has changed...

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posted January 02, 2012 09:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
I have dates with guys who just passed me their name cards with fanciful titles thinking that is the entry pass to dating me. I dumped them after 1st date.

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Hahahahaha LOL

posted January 02, 2012 10:05 AM            

Relationships or Life or whatever ******* concept you are interacting is WAR. Life is all about war and the fittest will survive, this is the law of nature which can't be unproven. We are also from nature so it is valid for us as well. So relationships are like battles which you should play carefully. Since the one who loves more usually(higher than %50) will be left, you should never love more than you spouse does at first. There are tons of examples for what i say even all people can find example of it in their lives. If you ask why, answer is simple; Unsatisfaction... We humans are never satisfied with anything we have. So when you love someone too much, person gets satisfied with you and starts looking another person to fill other satisfactions or even same satisfaction such as "flirting and getting taste of first stages. This so called evolved souls are not satisfied also. They just want us to see them satisfied. They are just lying or comforting themselves by saying i found it. The truth is, they didnt and you will never find it. We will just lie ourselves till the end. Secondly, we -because of our nature- are selfish. Because like all the other creatures living we are programmed to survive. But, People's style or thoughts of surviving may differ. Some of them survive with "not to give a **** " or enjoying a lot. This types leaves when relationship gets routined. Other types style is material security which we can give example of zero personality rich people getting/marrying very beatiful or handsome zero personality girls/boys. Third style is unending hunger. Some people needs to be cared, be loved, be famous or popular etc...

I am not advicing you to be dark either. Definitely don't be. Dark side is worse but it is a redemptive way for soul or you. Because in the progress, you will learn a lot.

So my advice is;
1_Never love more than your spouse's love for you.
2_Never Depend anyone but be able to trust others.
3_Never include people in your daydreams, hopes, it dramatically increases chance of dissapointment. Include which has no chance of making sad or dissapoint you.
4_Always have a joker card.
5_Forgive for once, ignore for once etc.. never do it twice.
6_Try to be warm, helping, a little bit caring, saving in dealings with others.
7_Never leave stable things for temporary things.
8_People can't understand beauty or value of things before they lose it. So advance carefully.
9_Live your life to fullest.

posted January 02, 2012 10:52 AM            

Never love more than your spouse's love for you. Do you mean, never appear to love your spouse more than they love you so that the game goes on..? That I will understand.. (but not agree.) Its like a control thing going on, afraid that she might know (the truth). But two possible outcomes... she knows and understand or she will not understand and give up. Of course, if one is prepared for whatever the outcome... any advice is good advice so long as one understand the consequences.

posted January 02, 2012 10:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
If the view of relationships is that cynical, perhaps its best just to remain single. Just saying.

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posted January 02, 2012 11:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Goodnight lilithpluto

Why do relationships have to be this complex that it creates such feelings of animosity? War? Relationships are war? Then why even bother with relationships then?

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posted January 02, 2012 11:17 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
any advice is good advice so long as one understand the consequences.

Gd nite!

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Love that sentence .

posted January 02, 2012 11:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MertSerimer:
Because %99 of us need it. To me, it is a sign of weakness still it does not change the fact.

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posted January 02, 2012 11:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I agree. In layman's terms (sorry to be gross), I'm going to have to fart at sometime, and hopefully not during dinner. But let's try not to have that fart let loose on the first date. And that's not because I'm trying to hide the fact that I routinely have to fart. Just that I'm trying to exercise proper decorum for at least a couple of initial impressions lol

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posted January 02, 2012 11:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
What is a sign of weakness? Needing a relationship to be wholesome? I like relationships, but that doesn't mean I need it. And just because you don't believe you need it doesn't mean that you need to take a dump on it.

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Relationships = friends, lovers, business partners..

Now Say that YOU DONT NEED IT if you can ?

posted January 02, 2012 11:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MertSerimer:
Well to me, all the people who are advicing you to be "unconditional lover, forgiver, in time you will find the one type, etc.." are b.u.l.l.s.h.t.t.ing . Trust me, i tried that way and couldnt see a single unit of happiness at the end and also not to mention that in the progress till the end of that road, you will be deceived, betrayed, manipulated etc.. with that type mentioned above. Because if you become so caring, loving, forgiving etc, people surely will use and there is no escaping it. Also dont fall for the so called evolved souls saying "you will find when time is right". This is their comforting way or white lies to make you happy actually even they dont believe it or at least they are trying not to show it .

Relationships or Life or whatever ******* concept you are interacting is [b]WAR. Life is all about war and the fittest will survive, this is the law of nature which can't be unproven. We are also from nature so it is valid for us as well. So relationships are like battles which you should play carefully. Since the one who loves more usually(higher than %50) will be left, you should never love more than you spouse does at first. There are tons of examples for what i say even all people can find example of it in their lives. If you ask why, answer is simple; Unsatisfaction... We humans are never satisfied with anything we have. So when you love someone too much, person gets satisfied with you and starts looking another person to fill other satisfactions or even same satisfaction such as "flirting and getting taste of first stages. This so called evolved souls are not satisfied also. They just want us to see them satisfied. They are just lying or comforting themselves by saying i found it. The truth is, they didnt and you will never find it. We will just lie ourselves till the end. Secondly, we -because of our nature- are selfish. Because like all the other creatures living we are programmed to survive. But, People's style or thoughts of surviving may differ. Some of them survive with "not to give a **** " or enjoying a lot. This types leaves when relationship gets routined. Other types style is material security which we can give example of zero personality rich people getting/marrying very beatiful or handsome zero personality girls/boys. Third style is unending hunger. Some people needs to be cared, be loved, be famous or popular etc...

I am not advicing you to be dark either. Definitely don't be. Dark side is worse but it is a redemptive way for soul or you. Because in the progress, you will learn a lot.

So my advice is;
1_Never love more than your spouse's love for you.
2_Never Depend anyone but be able to trust others.
3_Never include people in your daydreams, hopes, it dramatically increases chance of dissapointment. Include which has no chance of making sad or dissapoint you.
4_Always have a joker card.
5_Forgive for once, ignore for once etc.. never do it twice.
6_Try to be warm, helping, a little bit caring, saving in dealings with others.
7_Never leave stable things for temporary things.
8_People can't understand beauty or value of things before they lose it. So advance carefully.
9_Live your life to fullest.

[/B]

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Ummmmmm..

I Have found love three different times in my life so I do believe if a person is open to love and intuitive and is not looking for something absolutely perfect they can find love.

However this does not mean that it won't eventually end and it doens't mean that you or the other will not get hurt for sure nor does it mean that if you stick around it won't be full of challenges. That is life since nothing is perfect and all we can do is continue to push ourselves to grow.

I am here in my hometown and everyone is telling me that I look at peace and that I have changed and can tell that I Have grown a lot in the last 4 years or so. This has come from a number of different people so even though I feel that I am not making as much progress as I would want, this confirms that I have made a lot of progress finding balance in myself which in turn affects how I carry myself and interact with others and how comfortable people feel around me. Still have work to do that is for sure but have come a long way and will continue to come a long way.

There are many types of love and many soulmate relationships and all three soulmates I have found are super meaningful and special to me and forever will hold a place in my heart.

Love is freaking everywhere, you just have to be open to it and listen to your intuition.