posted June 08, 2012 04:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by luisbunuel:
PS
GOING ON A "FUN" NIGHT-OUT WITH "FRIENDS" IS OVERRATED. Seriously overrated. AND, it is the antithesis of "fun".

Hell is Other People (Jean Paul Sartre said that and he knew what he was talking about)

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posted June 08, 2012 06:34 PM            

I'm starting to wonder if I need to find new friends. Or if this is just some venus rx funk...like one astrologer has predicted. (I think it applies to friends?) I just feel so forgotten by them.

posted June 08, 2012 06:54 PM            

when someone is upset with you, is there ever any hope that you can turn things around?

do people just write people off forever?

posted June 08, 2012 06:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
to be honest, I'm really feeling bad about things, too

when someone is upset with you, is there ever any hope that you can turn things around?

do people just write people off forever?

do people ever even notice when you try to change for the better?

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Do the synastry with your friends. You will see the bare bones of the relationship.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted June 08, 2012 07:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Do the synastry with your friends. You will see the bare bones of the relationship.

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yeah, but planets/stuff can manifest differently, too, so even if it's good, it might not work

posted June 09, 2012 01:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Last night and this morning, I've been really feeling up-and-down about everything.

More and more, though, I'm feeling like I deserve to be treated with respect and consideration, and am feeling like I should withhold kindness, gentleness, sweetness, and other nicer things from people unless and until they really earn it. I hate to be mean to people, but honestly, I'm just so fed up.

As much as I want to be liked, included, and accepted like everyone else, and want people to be happy to see me and enjoy being around me, I'm tired of people taking advantage of me, not liking me, avoiding me, and of people lying to me about being happy to see me/wanting to be my friend and then acting in a way that completely contradicts that. So, from now on, if people don't treat me as I want to be treated, they just don't get to be included in my life. They get to feel what it's like to not be welcome and to be excluded. If they want to have me as a friend, they have to show that they are worthy of that, because my friendship will become much, much harder to obtain and hold onto from now on. That's just how it has to be, because I can't keep getting hurt. It just really eats me up and destroys me inside and hurts too much.

I am not perfect, but are other people? Are they some kind of magic sparkle ponies that sh!t rainbows or something? No. So, if I tolerate and embrace their flaws and accept them for who they are, then they need to give me that same courtesy.

I do have good traits. I may be highly sensitive and easily hurt, but being sensitive also means that I'm sensitive to others, too. I try to be considerate and polite. I'm a good cook. I have good taste. I'm not a genius, but I'm still reasonably intelligent. I genuinely care about people and am interested in who they are, what they think, how they feel, their stories, their goals/dreams/hopes, love to exchange ideas with them, etc. I love dogs. I've worked really hard to get better at managing my emotions. I have a spiritual side that I really like. I'm interested in a lot of things and have a good range of things that inspire me. I'm good with words.

I am a good person, and I deserve to be recognized for what I do right.

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Yes! I agree and support everything you said, but you don't have to be mean with people. Your Cancer Moon will make you feel terribly guilty for it. If you do that you will only get yourself in a vicious hate circle and it is not worth it, no matter how hurt you feel right now. You only need to not care so much about them and their opinion of you. Try to detach a bit.
But also find a way to deal with your anger - whatever works for you: workout, music, driving etc. Driving works for me, I get off in 5th gear on the highway with loud music in my stereo. I feel liberated afterwards. You need to express your anger before you can move past this and forgive the ones that have hurt you.

posted June 09, 2012 10:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
@ Hera

but if people are avoiding me, don't they want me to avoid them back? wouldn't being nice just come off as obsessive, over-eager, and creepy? doesn't being avoided send me a "stay away from me, I think that you're creepy and a freak" message?

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If being nice is seen like that, then hun you have nothing to do with those people. THEY are the weird ones, believe me. I feel sorry for such people.

I say do whatever you feel like doing. Stay true to yourself. You are a nice person, don't become mean because of these people. It is not worth it.

posted June 09, 2012 10:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
If being nice is seen like that, then hun you have nothing to do with those people. THEY are the weird ones, believe me. I feel sorry for such people.

I say do whatever you feel like doing. Stay true to yourself. You are a nice person, don't become mean because of these people. It is not worth it.

In this particular situation it might be better to stay away from them, indeed. But not out of spite, just because you don't seem to be on the same page. You will find people who will appreciate you, no worries!

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posted June 09, 2012 10:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
OK, but how do you know if someone really does think that about you, or if you're misinterpreting the situation? I mean, I can't just ask, so how else do you know?

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posted June 09, 2012 10:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
*sigh*

I really will be so much happier when this retrograde is FINALLY over. I hate it! Even worse than Mercury retrograde.

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posted June 09, 2012 10:48 AM            

like super-emotional

posted June 09, 2012 10:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
I leave it to time to solve it and not worry about it much. If they thought badly of me for trying to make a friendly gesture then I don't want to have anything to do with them either way. If I misinterpreted and they didn't really try to avoid me, we'll bump into each other soon enough and they'll have their chance to prove it.

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posted June 09, 2012 11:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
so, basically, I should just not talk to them, unless they talk to me, and be polite but cold?

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posted June 09, 2012 11:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
This is just getting ridiculous, and I'm wondering what in my chart is causing the problem.

It's like no one ever wants to do anything with me. I don't always get replies from people when I talk to them, which tells me that they think that I'm creepy, weird, and a freak, and don't want to talk to me. I can't get anyone to want to be friends or do anything, and it's to the point that I don't even want to be around people anymore. I can just never win with people. I can't win them over. I'm like un-likable. I also feel constant pressure to do everything right and not make social mistakes or be creepy or weird or anything less than what's expected. It's very frustrating, especially since I still fail.

I have the sun, Mercury, and south node in Libra in the 11th house; also have MC there.

It frustrates me so much; no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep friends. There is just something wrong with me.

Just wondering if any other 11th house people have to deal with this and how you cope with it. I thought that having planets in a given house meant that would be a focus of your life/that you'd be skilled in that area, but I epic fail miserably in this part of life.

edit to add that I have Chiron in the 7th, but isn't that supposed to be romantic relationships, not friends?

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I haven't read the thread - but I remember a lot of things you've written here before dear Regardes, and as much as I value astrology - I also want to point out from the gate - our self-dialogue and the way we perceive events and selves is (based on stars or not) something we are capable of changing and entirely responsible for how we are received.

There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. If you can reframe that and try saying: "Something inside me feels (Insert feeling here)" it's an empowering first step to recognize that you are not the sum total of your emotions. You are experiencing an emotion, you can acknowledge it with the same compassion and empathy you would a friend. Try that.

Also, if you can stop saying THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. And acknowledge that there are all manner of imperfections in you, me, everyone on this planet - and we are ALL worthy of love - and that LOVE first comes from you. You might just feel your heart open up, lighten up to the LOVE you've just given yourself. When our hearts are open - there is space for LOVE from all others to come rushing in.

I do hope you receive this knowing I wasn't long ago in a similar spot - feeling crap about myself. I have been doing this kind of work and reframing my own thought processes and giving myself LOTS of love. Also, giving lots of love to others. I'm feeling better and open and experiencing deeper connections with others. And that thought "THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME" doesn't even enter my mind anymore. It didn't take long - just a willingness to not dwell in that toxic paradigm. I hope you can see you can get out of the crap too - no matter where your personal planets are or how they are aspected.

11th house stellium, and some funky aspects here too.

posted June 09, 2012 01:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
I haven't read the thread - but I remember a lot of things you've written here before dear Regardes, and as much as I value astrology - I also want to point out from the gate - our self-dialogue and the way we perceive events and selves is (based on stars or not) something we are capable of changing and entirely responsible for how we are received.

There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. If you can reframe that and try saying: "Something inside me feels (Insert feeling here)" it's an empowering first step to recognize that you are not the sum total of your emotions. You are experiencing an emotion, you can acknowledge it with the same compassion and empathy you would a friend. Try that.

Also, if you can stop saying THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. And acknowledge that there are all manner of imperfections in you, me, everyone on this planet - and we are ALL worthy of love - and that LOVE first comes from you. You might just feel your heart open up, lighten up to the LOVE you've just given yourself. When our hearts are open - there is space for LOVE from all others to come rushing in.

I do hope you receive this knowing I wasn't long ago in a similar spot - feeling crap about myself. I have been doing this kind of work and reframing my own thought processes and giving myself LOTS of love. Also, giving lots of love to others. I'm feeling better and open and experiencing deeper connections with others. And that thought "THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME" doesn't even enter my mind anymore. It didn't take long - just a willingness to not dwell in that toxic paradigm. I hope you can see you can get out of the crap too - no matter where your personal planets are or how they are aspected.

11th house stellium, and some funky aspects here too.

Warmly,
Wild Places

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The thing that I'm afraid of about giving love to others is that I worry a lot about being creepy or too intense. I'm afraid to even talk to people because I'm worried about it. I'm afraid to be nice or affectionate or to write to people or message or make any kind of invitation or of acting happy to see people because I don't want it to come out wrong.

For what it's worth, I have Asperger's, so I'm very, very conscious of misperceptions and misunderstandings. I try really hard not to violate boundaries, not to make people uncomfortable, etc. I constantly, constantly worry about that. I honestly don't know how people perceive me, other than some people avoiding me, so I don't feel like I'm doing a good job.

posted June 09, 2012 03:45 PM            

That's a very valid question, and a very unique challenge to deal with. Still, there is nothing wrong with you - your uniqueness brings with it many gifts to us all, that while socially challenging, are so incredibly beyond the scope of the average person - the world is a better place for having you in it.

Here's an exercise you can try - which has no impact on anyone directly - and therefore won't "freak anyone out".

Send love, forgiveness, and acceptance to everyone. I know this must sound like a lot of new-agey head-in-the-clouds type stuff - but really, it works. Here's a tangible example:

yesterday, my boss totally went off on me in a manner which was inappropriate. afterward, i asked for an apology - which he rebuffed. i spent some time realizing he was more hurt than i was - not from what happened at work - but deep inside. and with an open heart, and in my mind, quietly, said "I forgive you, I accept you, and I send you love,"...within two hours, this guy who has NEVER in five years been known to apologize for anything called me up and apologized. So I do believe that sending love, even in a form that is not tangibly received - is even more powerful and pure. It is somehow unknowingly perceived.

And - to add - by the time he called, I didn't need his apology. His apology was good though, because it helps him to heal himself.

Love is never bad. Learning to send it out tangibly is a delicate balance of confidence and responding appropriately to social cues for all of us, Asperger's or not. It isn't always easy - and as Hera said, over time, we learn that if people are unresponsive or closed off - it's less to do with us, and more to do with them. We can continue to send them love without being angry - and look for opportunities elsewhere.

You will figure this all out - and you are a kind and gentle soul. Let your actions and your thoughts reflect that to yourself, as well as to others.

posted June 09, 2012 04:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wild Places:
Hi Regardes -

That's a very valid question, and a very unique challenge to deal with. Still, there is nothing wrong with you - your uniqueness brings with it many gifts to us all, that while socially challenging, are so incredibly beyond the scope of the average person - the world is a better place for having you in it.

Here's an exercise you can try - which has no impact on anyone directly - and therefore won't "freak anyone out".

Send love, forgiveness, and acceptance to everyone. I know this must sound like a lot of new-agey head-in-the-clouds type stuff - but really, it works. Here's a tangible example:

yesterday, my boss totally went off on me in a manner which was inappropriate. afterward, i asked for an apology - which he rebuffed. i spent some time realizing he was more hurt than i was - not from what happened at work - but deep inside. and with an open heart, and in my mind, quietly, said "I forgive you, I accept you, and I send you love,"...within two hours, this guy who has NEVER in five years been known to apologize for anything called me up and apologized. So I do believe that sending love, even in a form that is not tangibly received - is even more powerful and pure. It is somehow unknowingly perceived.

And - to add - by the time he called, I didn't need his apology. His apology was good though, because it helps him to heal himself.

Love is never bad. Learning to send it out tangibly is a delicate balance of confidence and responding appropriately to social cues for all of us, Asperger's or not. It isn't always easy - and as Hera said, over time, we learn that if people are unresponsive or closed off - it's less to do with us, and more to do with them. We can continue to send them love without being angry - and look for opportunities elsewhere.

You will figure this all out - and you are a kind and gentle soul. Let your actions and your thoughts reflect that to yourself, as well as to others.

Warmly,
Wild Places

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posted June 10, 2012 11:57 AM            

a little freebie from the universe

I tried to project happier, lighter energy today and I really feel like it worked

while I'm on a Yoda kick:

‘Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.’ - Yoda

and if that isn't enough, check out the tarot.com horoscopes for Libra for today and tomorrow

so, just want to thank all of you for your support; I'm going to try to keep this up