posted May 31, 2012 12:55 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by extant_pisces:
I definitely relate to this and have exactly the same problem with not getting responses, and I draw much the same conclusions as you about being unlikeable. I also see a therapist for anxiety, who's reminded me it's a big jump to make from lack of response to assuming you know what people think of you, and for me, a symptom of agoraphobia. I was just sharing my experience of having an 11th House Pluto yesterday and experiencing inexplicable breaks in communication with friends. I was experiencing a very bad period in this regard a couple of months ago.

It sucks, but what I've taken away is to be patient and not close up because people don't respond. Whenever I ask them, the reason turns out to have nothing to do with me.

---

I didn't know that you could ask someone why they didn't respond. I've always taken it as a "stay away" message and tried to respect that, so I've never really just done that.

posted May 31, 2012 12:59 PM            

quote:

---

Libras (or at least this one) feel so much pressure to not be who we are. I do feel pressure to apologize or rationalize how I am and who I am at times.

I honestly hate confrontation, fighting, conflict. I find them fascinating in literature or film, but not real life when I'm involved in it.

I have to acknowledge that sometimes they are necessary, but still...it's not a natural state for a Libra to be combative or aggressive, unless we're feeling out of sorts/not like our usual selves.

---

posted May 31, 2012 01:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by crissyx89:
Well your Mars in Capricorn is a Cardinal sign Just like Aries.So they can work really well together with your NN Aries.

I think your lesson with NN Aries South in 11th house.Like Hera said time to find your independence of group of friends.And focus on being alone sometimes.I know that's hard for you being your Libra south node loves socializing constant companionship.Maybe its somethings your higher self want you to learn,that would be difficult around friends all of the time.

---

I have actually been thinking of taking a class this fall, but I have to write to professors and see if they'll let me do it as an audit (that is, not for credit or a grade, but just to learn). Sometimes, classes are not open to non-majors, but I do already have a degree, and my major is not popular at all, so maybe they'd be happy to have someone there wanting to learn or could make a special arrangement. Maybe I'll start writing to them tonight and see. Plus, it would give me different people to be around--not to make friends with necessarily, but just different air and different energy and maybe that would be less draining than to have to see the same people. The only thing is that they may say no, it might be expensive, or it might not work with my work schedule. But, maybe I should try it.

posted May 31, 2012 01:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I actually do go to a therapist. I go to one individually and then two others as part of a group, though those aren't as frequent. I feel like I'm making progress in the group settings, but not the individual one. That is, I'm doing better in the group-related issues than I am the individual ones.

My therapist is good (and a Virgo, and accepting of astrology/interested in the archetypes; from her, I learned that you can iron paper so yeah, she's like super-Virgo haha).

I think that you made a good point about it not being an act, but really feeling it. Maybe that's what I've overlooked. Honestly, I need some alone time, but I don't enjoy all of my alone time because it feels like too much right now. So, maybe what I have to try is to figure out how to enjoy the alone time that's too much--the 'extra' alone time.

---

Just don't stress too much about it - I know, I know, easier said than done, but trust me on this, when you will be totally ready, it will come naturally, so don't get too worked up about it. It is good to think about this and be self-aware, but too much of a good thing is no longer so good. Just relax, and enjoy yourself, whether alone or with company. Life is beautiful!

I love therapy, after wanting my life to end for most of its length, I feel now that I was reborn again and I'm in awe with all the things I have been missing out because of the disenchantment of my depression.
I didn't feel like this about therapy before, actually there was a time when I thought about quitting because I was overthinking and trying to control the process and well, it just doesn't work like that. You need to be in a relaxed, receptive state for the biggest insights to come. Perhaps that's why I'm having mine in the shower most of the time lol.

So, really, don't stress about it. You will grow into your Aries NN in the 5th when you will be ready and open internally to that energy and not a second sooner. Why stress about it beforehand?

posted May 31, 2012 01:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I didn't know that you could ask someone why they didn't respond. I've always taken it as a "stay away" message and tried to respect that, so I've never really just done that.

I see a therapist for anxiety too, but I've never really fully believed her when she said that you can't know what someone else thinks about you. I do think that certain things say a lot, like body language, if someone is cold to you, etc., so that one is honestly confusing for me. But, I'll be seeing her today, so I can maybe ask for clarification from her on that one.

---

posted May 31, 2012 02:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I have actually been thinking of taking a class this fall, but I have to write to professors and see if they'll let me do it as an audit (that is, not for credit or a grade, but just to learn). Sometimes, classes are not open to non-majors, but I do already have a degree, and my major is not popular at all, so maybe they'd be happy to have someone there wanting to learn or could make a special arrangement. Maybe I'll start writing to them tonight and see. Plus, it would give me different people to be around--not to make friends with necessarily, but just different air and different energy and maybe that would be less draining than to have to see the same people. The only thing is that they may say no, it might be expensive, or it might not work with my work schedule. But, maybe I should try it.

*also should have mentioned that I have a Cancer moon, and Capricorn Neptune, so yeah, even more cardinal there--five planets total (Sun, Mercury, Moon, Neptune, Mars)

---

See that's a good thing trying something new.Even if you don't get in atleast you tried.If you do enjoy the experience,maybe being around different group of people can be a good thing.Just aslong as you don't go in feeling pressured to be a certain way,for the sake of fitting in with the crowd.Good luck with everything wish nothing but the best with your journey.

posted May 31, 2012 02:39 PM            

"pressure to do everything right and not make social mistakes or be creepy or weird or anything less than what's expected. "
Sounds SN 11th ^

Yes--- I agree with Hera about the "External validation" part. As of late, I'm usually with a group of friends. I think I'm more comfortable this way because it puts less emphasis on the me factor. The ME FACTOR is what you want to work towards.

SN in 11th: Are you the maestro of any large group/activity. That's most commonly the case. This is privative towards any chance of accretion. You must to develop genuine bonds of the heart.
Focus on being spontaneous, get out of your head and take a chance with arbitruary people/affairs. If your not, make friends with people who are! (etc,5th house matters) Raise the stakes. Risk rejection/failure even if its not logical/rational. Don't let what you think override what YOU as an individual feel. Listen to your heart not the head.

posted June 01, 2012 07:54 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by crissyx89:
See that's a good thing trying something new.Even if you don't get in atleast you tried.If you do enjoy the experience,maybe being around different group of people can be a good thing.Just aslong as you don't go in feeling pressured to be a certain way,for the sake of fitting in with the crowd.Good luck with everything wish nothing but the best with your journey.

Its good you have all that Cardinal Planets in your chart goes with your NN Aries.My friend also has her NN Aries aswell.All of her personal planets are in mutable signs,so it gets difficult for her.

---

Thanks, Crissy.

Out of my cardinal planets, four of the five are personal planets (Sun, Mercury, Moon, Mars). So, the issues brought up by those planets/houses really hit me hard/strike close to home.

posted June 01, 2012 08:08 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hera:

So, really, don't stress about it. You will grow into your Aries NN in the 5th when you will be ready and open internally to that energy and not a second sooner. Why stress about it beforehand?

You are a nice and wonderful person from what I can tell from your posts. Perhaps you don't see that in yourself and need external validation to feel "worthy" of love and apreciation? I think this might be another culprint of the NN in the 5th - I used to feel the same way and the part with the self love I still need to work on.

---

I'd say that you're probably right--I do seek external praise and validation. I seek reassurance that people still like me and think that I'm OK. When I get cues from people that they don't like me/don't think that I'm OK/think that I'm creepy or weird, it really depresses me and I just feel really ashamed for reaching out to them in the first place.

I did go to my therapist yesterday, and she mentioned too that my being anxious makes people feel bad and drives them away. This frustrates me because for one thing, who wouldn't be anxious with all of these demands and expectations to live up to and being judged/criticized (in the form of people being unresponsive and not liking me)? On top of that, I know people with other faults--perverts, liars, manipulators, super-emotional, crude/crass, whiny, picky, cold, busybodies--and yet they have friends. Why is anxiety so much worse than those things--it's not even equal, it's beneath all of those as the worst thing that a person can be? How and why did people decide as a collective that anxiety is worse than all of that? My therapist really couldn't explain it to me and I left without an answer to that one.

She and I disagreed about me doing my normal weekend things. I want a break from it and don't want to go do any of them this weekend; she wants me to "get back on the horse". I can see her point, but I feel a lot of shame and feel overwhelmed and just want to be away from it all. I'm going to have to think it over. Honestly, at this point, I feel ashamed to even be see and just feel a big need to withdraw and avoid. It's super-embarrassing to me to be a pariah.

posted June 01, 2012 08:26 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by kama:
Noel Tyl says the 5th house shows our way of loving, the 11th shows if we feel/are lovable. In that sense having planets in the 11th shows an important theme of not feeling lovable - which does neither mean you aren't lovable nor you are not loved. The ruler of your 11th house conjunct pluto in the 12th also points to those difficulties.
I have Venus ruler of 11th in taurus in 11th and Jupiter in Gemini also in 11th. My whole life I felt unlovable/unloved, although I always was in relationships and also am having good friends. I just can't "feel" it being loved, even although I know it definitely. It has something to do with my early home life where I never felt loved and accepted the way I am.
kama

---

My fifth house is Aries.

My biggest way of showing love is through words (not saying "I love you", but more as in being grateful, cheering people up when they're having a rough time, remembering to say thank you, giving someone a compliment if they have a cool accessory, just overall trying to be nice, etc). I'm not at all a touchy-feely person, and I only buy gifts if there's an occasion for them. My secondary way is to try to get together to do something.

posted June 01, 2012 08:32 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I'd say that you're probably right--I do seek external praise and validation. I seek reassurance that people still like me and think that I'm OK. When I get cues from people that they don't like me/don't think that I'm OK/think that I'm creepy or weird, it really depresses me and I just feel really ashamed for reaching out to them in the first place.

I did go to my therapist yesterday, and she mentioned too that my being anxious makes people feel bad and drives them away. This frustrates me because for one thing, who wouldn't be anxious with all of these demands and expectations to live up to and being judged/criticized (in the form of people being unresponsive and not liking me)? On top of that, I know people with other faults--perverts, liars, manipulators, super-emotional, crude/crass, whiny, picky, cold, busybodies--and yet they have friends. Why is anxiety so much worse than those things--it's not even equal, it's beneath all of those as the worst thing that a person can be? How and why did people decide as a collective that anxiety is worse than all of that? My therapist really couldn't explain it to me and I left without an answer to that one.

She and I disagreed about me doing my normal weekend things. I want a break from it and don't want to go do any of them this weekend; she wants me to "get back on the horse". I can see her point, but I feel a lot of shame and feel overwhelmed and just want to be away from it all. I'm going to have to think it over. Honestly, at this point, I feel ashamed to even be see and just feel a big need to withdraw and avoid. It's super-embarrassing to me to be a pariah.

I think that a lot of my stress comes from worrying about what my future will be like if I don't start reversing this now. A lot of really unpleasant possibilities come to mind that I want to prevent from happening. It also bothers me that this issue has come up numerous times for me, and yet I still can't make it stop. It also worries me because people liking you is a big part of how you do get opportunities given to you in life, and so not being likable can spread to other areas and cause problems elsewhere in life.

---

posted June 01, 2012 09:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Dont worry too much about people thinking your weird, just embrace it,its really fun trust me. And whats wrong with being crude? Thats also fun.

---

Well, I don't want to be thought of as "weird". I'm a Libra, not an Aquarius. It's not a badge of honor for us to be thought of as "weird". I would like to be thought of as intelligent, polished, sophisticated, pleasant, non-threatening/not creepy or a freak--someone people like to be around and who makes people feel comfortable.

posted June 01, 2012 09:17 AM            

so, I'm definitely avoiding regular activities, except work and therapy

posted June 01, 2012 09:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
update: logged into FB; two people whom I hadn't heard from ignored my message (didn't respond to me, but did post other things)

so, I'm definitely avoiding regular activities, except work and therapy

I literally feel like someone has just punched me hard and I don't know how I'm going to get through work; it's going to be a long day

---

posted June 01, 2012 09:27 AM            

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted June 01, 2012 09:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
This is just getting ridiculous, and I'm wondering what in my chart is causing the problem.

It's like no one ever wants to do anything with me. I don't always get replies from people when I talk to them, which tells me that they think that I'm creepy, weird, and a freak, and don't want to talk to me. I can't get anyone to want to be friends or do anything, and it's to the point that I don't even want to be around people anymore. I can just never win with people. I can't win them over. I'm like un-likable. I also feel constant pressure to do everything right and not make social mistakes or be creepy or weird or anything less than what's expected. It's very frustrating, especially since I still fail.

I have the sun, Mercury, and south node in Libra in the 11th house; also have MC there.

It frustrates me so much; no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep friends. There is just something wrong with me.

Just wondering if any other 11th house people have to deal with this and how you cope with it. I thought that having planets in a given house meant that would be a focus of your life/that you'd be skilled in that area, but I epic fail miserably in this part of life.

---

No planets in that house but my sun is conjunct its ruling planet.

Short answer is always yes. Contrast with the lions.

posted June 01, 2012 10:25 AM            

With other women - it will mainly be about whether you click, the synastry etc. You have to meet several people to be able to find some who are great friends. Not everyone will have the perfect synastry with you.

posted June 01, 2012 11:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Do you meet many new people? Or are these just a bunch of particular people who keep behaving badly?

With other women - it will mainly be about whether you click, the synastry etc. You have to meet several people to be able to find some who are great friends. Not everyone will have the perfect synastry with you.

With men... Generally if they are rude, or they avoid you or do not contact you it's directly related to how sexually appealing your appearance was at the time they met you. If you avoid wearing clothing that is flattering to your figure, looking your best and also being at least a little bit flirty (which is understandable if you are asexual) many men who are neither asexual nor celibate will not necessarily want to engage. It does depend a lot on the kinds of people you meet though.. Because men who are more educated would be more likely to be interested in non-sexual things and hold a conversation with you & like you as a person... In that case it just goes back to basic personality and synastry..

---