posted July 30, 2015 07:43 PM            

A Solar chart is something else entirely. This is a chart that does not use time of birth at all.
It simply uses the Sun sign *as* the Ascendant... and all of the houses go from there.
So - if you are a Leo Sun.. in a Solar chart, Leo becomes your first house, Virgo your second, Libra your third, and so on..
If you are Aquarius... Aquarius becomes your first house, Pisces your second.. and so on...

This is *not* the actual birth chart... based on an individual's time of birth!

It is simply a Solar chart - used by astrologers to make predictions for all those millions of people in the big wide world out there (whose birth times they don't have!).

posted July 30, 2015 08:50 PM            

Anyway, um well it would appear things worked out???

I have dated an Aqua before, actually I am still best friends with this particular Aqua male 12 yrs later and I will say even till this day, he still has feelings for me and makes it known subtly that if I gave him a chance he'd snatch it up in a heartbeat. It honestly doesn't sound like you guys are dating, but maybe fwb? An extremely long drawn out fwb situation? I know Aquas can be detached (hell I have my descendant in Aquarius) but when they are "in love" they def don't go weeks without any contact. BUT that's what FRIENDS who happen to be Aquarius do and you just kinda pick up where you left off.

I mean if you're happy with this arrangement then by all means continue. Might I suggest though you see other people in between the "breaks" or you'll find yourself quite lonely.

posted July 30, 2015 10:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
All I hope for you is that your happy! I hope your evening is awesome and you get some real answers from that guy....

Sorry your thread went off track into a bad place. My opinion is honestly is always the best policy and tonight when you see him, ask him what your asking on here. If your to afraid to ask him, you might already know the answer. But either way...he's the one who needs to be listening to you!

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Thank you!! I feel better now.

posted July 30, 2015 10:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by confused_libra:
Thank you!! I feel better now.

He wanted to see me, but he texted me around 8 telling me he is overwhelmed with packing and has too much to do. He is leaving for a business trip across the world tomorrow at like 3 in the morning. So I understand that he can't hang out tonight. I told him no worries, it's all good and to have a safe trip. He responded by saying thanks and he will send me a postcard! I think that's a good sign

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posted July 30, 2015 10:48 PM            

But don't text him or try and talk to him anymore now. If you ask him 'can we talk when you are back' you'll give yourself false hope and craving all the time to see him.

Wait until he is back before trying to contact him! That way, you'll get an immediate answer, and can act quickly if things don't go your way!

posted July 30, 2015 10:54 PM            

You cannot truly love someone you are afraid to lose. I need to let go of the fear of losing him and tell him the truth. Honestly, I'd rather lose him and move on than spend the next however many years being secretly in love with him. I need to stop suppressing my feelings. Either he feels the same or he doesn't. If he does, then great. I want to try to make it work. If he doesn't, then it's better to find out FINALLY so that I can stop focusing so much of my energy on the potential our relationship has.

I've always been scared that even if he felt the same way, he would bolt at the sign of my deeper feelings. Part of this fear was me reading traits on aquarius men. But at the end of the day, if he can never confront his feelings and deal with them or deal with someone else's feelings for him, why would I want to have him in my life? I'm scared too, but I'm willing to take the risk. As someone said, life is too short. I can't play games anymore. It's exhausting and does nothing to benefit anyone.

posted July 30, 2015 11:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
That's a good plan to!! I hope all turns out well and if not all that means is there is someone out there looking for you that is better for you.

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posted July 30, 2015 11:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
That's a good plan to!! I hope all turns out well and if not all that means is there is someone out there looking for you that is better for you.

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posted July 30, 2015 11:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:

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posted July 31, 2015 12:26 AM            

The love-fear-love cycle is prevalent in today's world.

You read about staying in your heart.

You practice meditations on staying in the heart.

You learn mantras, mudras, and postures to open your heart and stay in your heart.

And something comes along that is unusual, abnormal, even different, and what happens?

You drop into the fear.

However, being aware of the love-fear-love cycle makes you immediately aware that you have dropped into fear.

And that awareness helps you to move back into the love faster.

You don't stay in the fear as long.

You don't go as deeply into fear as before.

And staying in your heart is easier and easier.

This is spiritual mastery.

Hence 10-10-10 is making us even more aware of our choice of spiritual mastery, our opening to change, and our choice to stay in our hearts. This solid foundation of love will make all the difference for you in the coming times.

posted July 31, 2015 12:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by confused_libra:
Wow I absolutely love this! Hopefully this applies to my situation lol. Thank you

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posted July 31, 2015 07:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by confused_libra:
People on here can be really rude! Geeze.

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Actually, you are being rude to this forum, you replacing the OP with this. It's disrespectful towards the effort people put here to help you, by expressing their various opinions. You only respect those who tell you want you want to hear.

Come back in September and tell us which evaluation was the right one; this guy playing and taking advantage of you; or those who encouraged you towards being more used and experiencing more pain.

posted July 31, 2015 09:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:

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Sorry, but I have to say something here, for the sake of those reading this thread at some point, especially very young people.

Calling a guy and offering yourself as desert after dinner is not an act of courage and mastery in relationships. What he thought was: she's pretty desperate and/or crazy about me, I told her I am busy this period and tonight having dinner with my parents, yet she is insisting I come over, she wants me pretty badly. This kind of thought is not helpful for successful relationships.

In this particular case, the guy thinks the girl is at his disposal, any time he feels like it. He already knows she is crazy about him.

So I find this little hippie party here with zen quotes irresponsible.

Things are very simple in relationships, actually: Men are territorial and competitive. When a man wants a woman, he will make everything possible to secure her for himself, to make her his and remove the competition.

when he is not doing that, he is not that into you, you are just a temporary distraction in his mind

if he comes and goes, he is not that into you, you are just a temporary distraction in his mind

if he accepts a FWB relationship, he is not that into you, you are just a temporary distraction in his mind

also, conversations about the relationship and sharing feelings do NOT make a man want a woman

their process of deciding if and how they want you is quite quick, after knowing the person a little bit, sometimes the fixed idea is there from the beginning, a quick evaluation. it's mostly an instinctive process men have developed over millions of years as an adaptation for them needing to choose and go after a mate and then secure them and quick reflexes were/are needed for that.

this process is also rather compartimentalized, at least much more with men than with women, and for a large part of men, not all, but many of them: this one is gf material, this one is fwb material, this one is ONS material, this one is friend material etc. As I said, it's not a result of cynicism, it is a million of years adaptative useful mechanism.

Based on how they behave with you (not what people answer when you ask them or the amount of little heart emoticons they send you on facebook, that's booty grooming) you can see the category you are in.

posted July 31, 2015 10:20 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Sorry, but I have to say something here, for the sake of those reading this thread at some point, especially very young people.

Calling a guy and offering yourself as desert after dinner is not an act of courage and mastery in relationships. What he thought was: she's pretty desperate and/or crazy about me, I told her I am busy this period and tonight having dinner with my parents, yet she is insisting I come over, she wants me pretty badly. This kind of thought is not helpful for successful relationships.

In this particular case, the guy thinks the girl is at his disposal, any time he feels like it. He already knows she is crazy about him.

So I find this little hippie party here with zen quotes irresponsible.

Things are very simple in relationships, actually: Men are territorial and competitive. When a man wants a woman, he will make everything possible to secure her for himself, to make her his and remove the competition.

when he is not doing that, he is not that into you, you are just a temporary distraction in his mind

if he comes and goes, he is not that into you, you are just a temporary distraction in his mind

if he accepts a FWB relationship, he is not that into you, you are just a temporary distraction in his mind

also, conversations about the relationship and sharing feelings do NOT make a man want a woman

their process of deciding if and how they want you is quite quick, after knowing the person a little bit, sometimes the fixed idea is there from the beginning, a quick evaluation. it's mostly an instinctive process men have developed over millions of years as an adaptation for them needing to choose and go after a mate and then secure them.

this process is also rather compartimentalized, at least much more with men than with women, and for a large part of men, not all, but many of them: this one is gf material, this one is fwb material, this one is ONS material, this one is friend material etc. As I said, it's not a result of cynicism, it is a million of years adaptative useful mechanism.

Based on how they behave with you (not what people answer when you ask them or the amount of little heart emoticons they send you on facebook, that's booty grooming) you can see the category you are in.

It's very simple to determine which man is into you (and no amount of conversations about feelings replaces that), because he does what Odette and Sunnya and Solar Leo Queen and Ail and Florence and Soujiro and Belage and Teasel and Theunknown and Sven (and sorry if I am forgetting anyone) described: he CARES about you every day and he is trying to make you his.

---

I completely agree with this information. This is my thought process when choosing whether someone is right for me. Bravo LeeLoo!

I'd take note of this Confused_Libra, he has gone through the same process, it's a very fast process; but fortunately for you, being friends for 10 years has given you some advantage. I suggest being more open-minded in future to people's opinions too, some people will support you with nice words, some will be straight with you; embrace both types and you'll never have to doubt anything ever again.

posted July 31, 2015 10:47 AM            

I have a compliment for you too; I've been wanting to tell you for quite some time that I admire your wisdom and your intelligence

posted July 31, 2015 11:06 AM            

You're basing your analysis on the fact that you are assuming we are FWB. When did I ever say we have sex? Where was it implied? Sleeping over = sex? We didn't even have sex when he slept over those two times. He just spooned me all night and we slept. Yes, we have had sex in the past. But I stopped having sex with him about 2 years ago. We are still physical but in affectionate ways, no sex, for now.

Believe what you want, but you don't know me, you don't know him, you don't even know the depth of the relationship or the conversations we have or our body language or how we act towards each other. You can't tell through the vague summary I've given. Its too one dimensional. All my friends/family who I have asked about this situation, who actually have seen me and him together, have told me to let me guard down and give him a chance.

posted July 31, 2015 11:15 AM            

This attempt to discredit my opinions (which are objective and based on differential psychology, not my personal experience) is quite lame and typical for some people. Especially since I said my personal experience is different than what you describe here.

I also think you are changing your story now, and depicting a different portrait (that's why you deleted your OP) and you are not being honest with this new portrait and quite manipulative and defensive.

EDIT: also, I have to say, I find your last posts weird and irrational. You came here with a story, of course people can only give their opinions on that story; it can be true, or pure fantasy, we can't possibly know that. The opinions were about the story you initially described. And now you come and repeatedly say we shouldn't have taken the time and effort to give an opinion here, you even try to make me and other people feel bad for writing our opinion here.

posted July 31, 2015 11:30 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
You are right, Confused Libra, I am passionate about the things I believe in and it may seem overzealous to many people. I wrote my post today as an opinion on relationships, not addressed to you in particular, but for whoever is interested.

This attempt to discredit my opinions (which are objective and based on differential psychology, not my personal experience) is quite lame and typical for some people. Especially since I said my personal experience is different than what you describe here.

I also think you are changing your story now, and depicting a different portrait (that's why you deleted your OP) and you are not being honest with this new portrait and quite manipulative and defensive.

---

Okay. I deleted the OP because it was no longer relevant since I texted him and got a positive response. I didn't need any more opinions/advice.

I'm not changing the portrait. Because I said we didn't have sex that changes the portrait? Well we DID NOT have sex... and I never said we did... you just assumed.

I feel like you would get some sort of sick satisfaction if I tell you that hey I talked to him and he said he's not into me. I just get the feeling that you aren't really trying to help out here, you're just kind of being rude. Me defensive and manipulative? That's you on each post.

posted July 31, 2015 11:42 AM            

TELL me "no" directly, I'll listen.
Until then I will pursue and you WILL like me!
I'm being a little dramtic.
I'm a guy though so maybe I fall inline with what LeeLoo is saying. LOL

posted July 31, 2015 11:43 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by confused_libra:
Okay. I deleted the OP because it was no longer relevant since I texted him and got a positive response. I didn't need any more opinions/advice.

I feel like you would get some sort of sick satisfaction if I tell you that hey I talked to him and he said he's not into me. I just get the feeling that you aren't really trying to help out here, you're just kind of being rude. Me defensive and manipulative? That's you on each post.

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Girl, I can understand not everyone is an astronaut, but this??

Don't you feel or realize those who warned you about this guy actually tried to protect you, they are on your side? me included? They may be wrong about him, but the intention is THIS: to protect and help you.
So why offending them? and say such silly and offensive things??

Also, believing that if a guy says yes to a text means he wants you is beyond ludicrous.

posted July 31, 2015 11:45 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by confused_libra:
[B]You guys have been really positive and supportive when others have been honestly pretty rude and assuming.

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Wow. The other poster were right. It is a waste of energy to try and help you.
People cared enough to post their opinion and you just say we are rude. We didn't bring cake, damn we are so mean.

So you didn't come for advice, just for a pat in the back. Here, here.

So he said he won't go meet you again and you excuse it because yea poor little him has such a big stressing trip incoming...And he lives just 20 minutes away right? Pfff if he cared he would have come even if just for 5 minutes to see you.
But this is just a waste of time and energy and rudeness.

Let's just throw at you a glittery, happy, fluffy zen quote to say just what you want to hear, give you that pat in the back and make you feel a little better about yourself.

(The quote is nice on itself, I just don't agree it helps here with someone seeing things already through rose colored glasses).

I still wish you all the best of course, and I hope that in fact he still feels for you as you think he does and you guys live happy ever after.

Peace out and love to you.