posted July 31, 2015 11:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
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Until then I will pursue and you WILL like me!
[/B]

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posted July 31, 2015 12:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
brother Leo

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posted July 31, 2015 12:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by confused_libra:
[B]I feel like you would get some sort of sick satisfaction if I tell you that hey I talked to him and he said he's not into me. I just get the feeling that you aren't really trying to help out here, you're just kind of being rude. Me defensive and manipulative? That's you on each post.

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Wow. I just saw this...

Do you really believe what you wrote in there? Because if you do, I am with Belage here and therapy might help you indeed.
No offense intended, therapy is not just for people labelled as crazy, it helps anyone who goes through a hard time.
Because changing the original OP and now what you wrote there is completely out of line.

I am out.

posted July 31, 2015 12:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
You ppl that are attacking her, trying to force your OPINION on her....chill out! If she has somethig to learn she will learn it, in HER time, not YOURS! She's not being stupid, immature or anything else she's being herself and she is allowed to be that if you like it or not!

Just because she feels differently than you diesbt make her wrong or you wrong, your just different. Don't act like there is something wrong with her for being in a different place right now than you, she's allowed!! BUT you are not allowed to attack her for being different than you.

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Gabby?

She asked for opinions on a relationship with serious red flags. She seemed pretty upset and everyone, me included, tried to help. We posted our opinions here, the only ones that we have.
If you and her don't like these opinions, it doesn't make them an attack.

This is hilarious. I mean this is the purpose and procedure of asking advice on forums.

posted July 31, 2015 12:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Gabby?

She asked for opinions on a relationship with serious red flags. She seemed pretty upset and everyone, me included, tried to help. We posted our opinions here, the only ones that we have.
If you and her don't like these opinions, it doesn't make them an attack.

This is hilarious. I mean this is the purpose and procedure of asking advice on forums.

So why victimizing those who answer to threads now??

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posted July 31, 2015 12:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sunnya:
Wow. The other poster were right. It is a waste of energy to try and help you.
People cared enough to post their opinion and you just say we are rude. We didn't bring cake, damn we are so mean.

So you didn't come for advice, just for a pat in the back. Here, here.

So he said he won't go meet you again and you excuse it because yea poor little him has such a big stressing trip incoming...And he lives just 20 minutes away right? Pfff if he cared he would have come even if just for 5 minutes to see you.
But this is just a waste of time and energy and rudeness.

Let's just throw at you a glittery, happy, fluffy zen quote to say just what you want to hear, give you that pat in the back and make you feel a little better about yourself.

(The quote is nice on itself, I just don't agree it helps here with someone seeing things already through rose colored glasses).

I still wish you all the best of course, and I hope that in fact he still feels for you as you think he does and you guys live happy ever after.

Peace out and love to you.

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posted July 31, 2015 12:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
You ppl that are attacking her, trying to force your OPINION on her....chill out! If she has somethig to learn she will learn it, in HER time, not YOURS! She's not being stupid, immature or anything else she's being herself and she is allowed to be that if you like it or not!

Just because she feels differently than you diesbt make her wrong or you wrong, your just different. Don't act like there is something wrong with her for being in a different place right now than you, she's allowed!! BUT you are not allowed to attack her for being different than you.

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what?

It's not about being right or wrong. It was just about helping someone who seemed lost. We seem to disagree and see things differently and I find that beautiful. The OP has a variety of opinions to listen and learn from if she wanted.

It only became an issue when she started with the attacks by calling all the opinions she doesn't want to hear as rude and now she is saying she got this sick feeling we wish her bad. Seriously??

posted July 31, 2015 12:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm not, but you guys have your opinions, she disagreed....that doesn't mean you guys start personally going after her. She's allowed to disagree!
The nice thing and appropriate thing would be to leave your opinion and let her respond and then if she disagrees let it go. You guys are not letting it to!

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I'm sorry, but no, Gabby...her response to the opinions here she dislikes, mine in particular was rude and offensive. My last post today was a general post on relationships. Then she accused everyone posting an opinion she is not willing to accept...well, please read her responses by yourself.

You can't ask me to ignore an offense, I may do it or not, it's my choice.

It's an ongoing discussion, you can't shut people up when you don't agree. Honestly, it seems to me some have a very strong reaction because they don't want to face some facts themselves.

posted July 31, 2015 12:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Posts like this are insulting and condescending....

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posted July 31, 2015 12:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Posts like this are insulting and condescending....

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This is unfair. It's a reaction to her offensive posts. Why are you ignoring those??

Plus, to most of us, this is a story of rose-colored glasses, encouraging that is unethical, it doesn't help anyone.

To me she is not condescending, she is stating out the obvious.

posted July 31, 2015 12:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
I'm sorry, but no, Gabby...her response to the opinions here she dislikes, mine in particular was rude and offensive. My last post today was a general post on relationships. Then she accused everyone posting an opinion she is not willing to accept...well, please read her responses by yourself.

You can't ask me to ignore an offense, I may do it or not, it's my choice.

It's an ongoing discussion, you can't shut people up when you don't agree. Honestly, it seems to me some have a very strong reaction because they don't want to face some facts themselves.

I have a moderator here telling the user to ignore me. Why don't you comment on that?
My opinion is as valuable as anyone else's, that was extremely offensive and uncalled for. I know it happened because it struck a personal nerve, but I don't care: that was out of line.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Sunnya:
what?

It's not about being right or wrong. It was just about helping someone who seemed lost. We seem to disagree and see things differently and I find that beautiful. The OP has a variety of opinions to listen and learn from if she wanted.

It only became an issue when she started with the attacks by calling all the opinions she doesn't want to hear as rude and now she is saying she got this sick feeling we wish her bad. Seriously??

Meh, I could type more but I had enough. Peace out.

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quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
This is unfair. It's a reaction to her offensive posts. Why are you ignoring those??

Plus, to most of us, this is a story of rose-colored glasses, encouraging that is unethical, it doesn't help anyone.

To me she is not condescending, she is stating out the obvious.

This is sad

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Maybe you should have stopped giving your opinion when you saw she wasn't ready for it...she's the one struggling with an issue. When someone is hurting they don't think as clearly as they would at other times so give them room to come around don't lay more stress on them by trying to force them to see your perspective. Instead step back and give her time to digest what you've said. She just might come back and say you know what you were right...sorry I didn't see it.
Give her room to emotionally get to a grounded solid place regarding this. Until then forgive her for saying things out of pain, hurt, confusion or misunderstanding.

posted July 31, 2015 01:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Maybe you should have stopped giving your opinion at when you saw she wasn't ready for it...she's the one struggling with an issue. When someone is hurting they don't think as clearly as they would at other times so give them room to come around don't lay more stress on them by trying to force them to see your perspective, instead step back an let her take time to digest what you've said. She just might come back and say you know what you were right...sorry I didn't see it. Give her room to emotionally get to a grounded solid place regarding this, until then forgive her for saying things out of pain, hurt, confusion or misunderstanding. When your hurting you don't act or react perfectly...let her be human just like your human and I know you would hope others would make exceptions for you in your time of need. Do that for her, here, now!

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Your way of offering counsel and support is different than mine. It doesn't mean my opinion has to be ignored (what was that??) or that I have to stop giving it and the last opinion here have to be yours or Hypatia's. As I said, it's an ongoing discussion.

Personally, I believe in this case the OP can avoid this pain and suffering by setting boundaries, just like me and other people tried to tell. Encouraging the same pattern - yours and other's choice of advice- will only bring her more pain and suffering in the future.

posted July 31, 2015 01:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:

Your way of offering counsel and support is different than mine. It doesn't mean my opinion has to be ignored (what was that??) or that I have to stop giving it and the last opinion here have to be yours or Hypatia's. As I said, it's an ongoing discussion.

Personally, I believe in this case the OP can avoid this pain and suffering by setting boundaries, just like me and other people tried to tell. Encouraging the same pattern - yours and other's choice of advice- will only bring her more pain and suffering in the future.

This is the only opinion I have on this matter here, and I have the right to decide when I think something is important enough for me to give an opinion on. Yesterday I gave up on this thread, but today I saw the bunnies and butterflies and I thought it's important now and here to say they are detrimental in this case.

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This.

posted July 31, 2015 01:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:

Your way of offering counsel and support is different than mine. It doesn't mean my opinion has to be ignored (what was that??) or that I have to stop giving it and the last opinion here have to be yours or Hypatia's. As I said, it's an ongoing discussion.

Personally, I believe in this case the OP can avoid this pain and suffering by setting boundaries, just like me and other people tried to tell. Encouraging the same pattern - yours and other's choice of advice- will only bring her more pain and suffering in the future.

This is the only opinion I have on this matter here, and I have the right to decide when I think something is important enough for me to give an opinion on. Yesterday I gave up on this thread, but today I saw the bunnies and butterflies and I thought it's important now and here to say they are detrimental in this case.

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posted July 31, 2015 01:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
But you stated your thoughts and opinions..she heard you, she responded. Just because she didn't respond how you wanted doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong.
LeeLoo you know I love you, but I think sometimes you come on so strong that feels like an attack to some ppl who don't know you as well. That's why they get defensive.
Yes you and me, our way of communicating is very different. Many times we have the same opinion but we state it in very different ways.
I agree with much of what have said here in this thread, but I'm not sure that the circumstances she's describing are exactly as they are coming across to us here. Because of that I'm not going to force my thoughts or opinions because I could be wrong! I'm not there to see and feel the subtle nuisances that tell the deeper story. So if she says my opinion is wrong I'll let it go because perhaps she's right....but if I'm right she will eventually see that, and THEN she would have the ability to appreciate my words BUT she will only get to that place if I don't hurt her as I'm trying to help her.

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Thank you for your words, Gabby, you know I appreciate them. Well, to be honest it is an attack. It wasn't an attack on the OP, I felt outraged by what's happening to her, the attack was mostly on the behavior inflicted on her, and how she accepted it. This is my opinion on the topic the OP brought up. I have a firey way of expressing things and I don't shy away from a debate, I think this turned into a debate here, so I can see how some people may perceive me continuing the debate as excessive.

Keep in mind that after stepping out of this debate, I was gossiped and offended by the OP and Hypatia.

posted July 31, 2015 01:25 PM            

Thanks for your compliments LeeLoo! I think we all witnessed the Leo Roar!

posted July 31, 2015 01:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
But you stated your thoughts and opinions..she heard you, she responded. Just because she didn't respond how you wanted doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong.
LeeLoo you know I love you, but I think sometimes you come on so strong that feels like an attack to some ppl who don't know you as well. That's why they get defensive.
Yes you and me, our way of communicating is very different. Many times we have the same opinion but we state it in very different ways.
I agree with much of what have said here in this thread, but I'm not sure that the circumstances she's describing are exactly as they are coming across to us here. Because of that I'm not going to force my thoughts or opinions because I could be wrong! I'm not there to see and feel the subtle nuisances that tell the deeper story. So if she says my opinion is wrong I'll let it go because perhaps she's right....but if I'm right she will eventually see that, and THEN she would have the ability to appreciate my words BUT she will only get to that place if I don't hurt her as I'm trying to help her.

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Thanks Gabby. You're being super helpful, I really appreciate it.

LeeLoo and Sven, sorry if I offended you. I guess I just got annoyed because you're trying to tell me what he thinks of me as if you know for sure. Honestly I think I know better than you guys how he feels about me. I know I sound like some stupid bimbo who is being walked all over by this guy, but I promise that is not the case. We've been on a roller coaster for 4 years now. I didn't tell the whole story because it is quite long and it wasn't relevant to my original question of whether or not I should step it up and start initiating with him. So maybe I got angry because I didn't realize my perception of the situation would be so different from yours considering you only got a vague summary of the entire relationship.

posted July 31, 2015 01:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Thank you, Sven. That would be nice...if all of us here could actually meet someday and scratch eyes instead of the keyboard

Maybe Randall comes up with a barbecue plan or something

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That would be a extraordinary meet-up haha, a bunch of astrologers; sipping Neptune's Beverages and eating Venusian treats, cooked on a Martian flame
Please don't scratch your eyes on me!

posted July 31, 2015 01:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Thank you for your words, Gabby, you know I appreciate them. Well, to be honest it is an attack. It wasn't an attack on the OP, I felt outraged by what's happening to her, the attack was mostly on the behavior inflicted on her, and how she accepted it. This is my opinion on the topic the OP brought up. I have a firey way of expressing things and I don't shy away from a debate, I think this turned into a debate here, so I can see how some people may perceive me continuing the debate as excessive.

Keep in mind that after stepping out of this debate, I was gossiped and offended by the OP and Hypatia.

On the other hand, in a debate we can't expect the other to stop posting when we consider as convenient. These things have a life of their own.

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posted July 31, 2015 01:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sven555:
I think we should settle this debate over a drink, and yes i'll buy the first round!

Thanks for your compliments LeeLoo! I think we all witnessed the Leo Roar!

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posted July 31, 2015 01:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Thank you, Sven. That would be nice...if all of us here could actually meet someday and scratch eyes instead of the keyboard

Maybe Randall comes up with a barbecue plan or something

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posted July 31, 2015 01:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by confused_libra:
Thanks Gabby. You're being super helpful, I really appreciate it.

LeeLoo and Sven, sorry if I offended you. I guess I just got annoyed because you're trying to tell me what he thinks of me as if you know for sure. Honestly I think I know better than you guys how he feels about me. I know I sound like some stupid bimbo who is being walked all over by this guy, but I promise that is not the case. We've been on a roller coaster for 4 years now. I didn't tell the whole story because it is quite long and it wasn't relevant to my original question of whether or not I should step it up and start initiating with him. So maybe I got angry because I didn't realize my perception of the situation would be so different from yours considering you only got a vague summary of the entire relationship.

Anyway, I'm sorry for offending you. I didn't mean to, but I think I just got angry and said some things I shouldn't have. I understand you're trying to help, but it really felt like you were trying to shove it down my throat that he is using me when I know that's not the case. And I got annoyed when I would tell you why I believe that is not the case but you wouldn't listen to me, even though I would know better than you. Again, not trying to be offensive, just explaining my perspective. I apologize again.

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posted July 31, 2015 01:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Vodka and cranberry over here!!

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I made it a double vodka and cranberry, just for you!