posted November 19, 2015 09:06 AM            

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Originally posted by Ann7:
Not to hijack this thread but I'm interested in what placements would make someone want to be a sugar daddy, also the synastry between two people.

Someone made the comment asking how she could take advantage of a lonely person? I kind of think that's an unfair statement. These men know exactly what they are doing. They seek this out.

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Here is the synastry. I do not have his birth time so disregard his natal placements for the time being. He does have Sun conjunct Venus, both trine Jupiter.

And yes. He is much older.

posted November 19, 2015 09:07 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Don't mention this to any Taurus Moon men in your life... unless you want to sit through an extensive lecture on sexism and how crazy feminists are lol

They will be so outraged - that there is no male equivalent to this website - that they will proactively try to take it down

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posted November 19, 2015 09:09 AM            

That's how I see it.

posted November 19, 2015 09:58 AM            

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Actually I think the men who do that are for the most part uninterested in emotional entanglements, but still want to have female company and physical intimacy. Since a lot of women can't help but get emotionally involved even in a FwB situation, they go for women who are definitely going to stick around for a while, because they're being paid. So, instead of getting romance/love, they get money, and the guys get the companionship and sex without drama.

That's how I see it.

I would expect a strong Saturn/Uranus influence in the charts of people who partake in such "relationships".
Eta. Lol, yes... Taurus. Haha, that's so obvious it's almost comical. Should have mentioned it earlier... Capricorn as well but to a lesser extent.
Actually it's hard to delineate any particular influence... But someone who can mix sex and money somehow. So the Earth signs and some Air for detachment. Perhaps even Pluto *gasp*.
Interesting that it's prominent in your synastry.

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posted November 19, 2015 10:39 AM            

Before I even looked at the charts this situation reminded me of a wealthy guy that I used to know. I was in no way seeking this type of arrangement, but he constantly propositioned me, promising to pay all of my bills and take me on trips around the world. Of course he presented it as a "companion". I'm not naive enough to think that a man would give me thousands of dollars a month to hang out and chitty chat. He was an older man that wanted to inflate his ego by having a much younger woman on his arm. It actually made my skin crawl, not even the thought of him wanting sex, but the imbalance that it creates in the relationship. I also cannot stand being objectified. In my case this guy became a stalker, coming to my work everyday, and trying to get information about me from my coworkers. I know that what he sought from this arrangement was to get what he wanted from me, and also have extra leverage and control by giving me money. He preferred this type of situation because it creates an inequality where he has the upper hand, and basically has a full time prostitute. The whole thing was very creepy.

posted November 19, 2015 01:00 PM            

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Originally posted by Astra:
You better make things clear from the start. Tell him what your boundaries are(i.e.kissing, but no sex). If he dumps you, then you'll know what he was ultimately after. The reason I say to make it clear is that a lot of men can become violent if they feel they were duped, so don't mislead them into thinking sex is even a remote possibility if it isn't. Do not play the "wait and see game." That's a dangerous game to play.Make it clear from the start so no one's time is wasted.

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posted November 19, 2015 02:05 PM            

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Originally posted by CupOfDavid:
Oh man, I'd kill to get paid to hang out and talk with someone. If the relationship stays platonic, I say do it; but be sure to cut ties if the arrangement ever gets weird or complicated.

The observations of your transits seem like good guesses to me. I wonder if money asteroids come into play here too.

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posted November 19, 2015 02:06 PM            

Yes, Bluejay. Even totally disregarding my well intentioned warnings. Everything you are saying is spot on. People see and hear what they want, right?

ETA - This kind of situation is significantly less dangerous for a woman who is down for the cause and knows what she's doing. A woman who is remotely uncomfortable with exchanging sex for money should run like the wind.

posted November 19, 2015 02:25 PM            

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Originally posted by starxd:
Aqua, clearly you want someone to ask your thoughts. I'm sure other people will, but as you've already acknowledged male privilege, I'll just say that a man's experience in keeping safe while living as a woman is zero. So...

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posted November 19, 2015 02:27 PM            

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Originally posted by starxd:
but as you've already acknowledged male privilege..

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posted November 19, 2015 03:52 PM            

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Originally posted by starxd:
Thank you, Astra. It's a safety issue. I just think people are playing too hard into "if" he wants sex. That's why he signed up for the site! Companionship AND sex. To delude oneself otherwise is very dangerous. When a person bangs on and on about how "He's just too busy to date," they clearly DON'T know what they're getting into.

Yes, Bluejay. Even totally disregarding my well intentioned warnings. Everything you are saying is spot on. People see and hear what they want, right?

ETA - This kind of situation is significantly less dangerous for a woman who is down for the cause and knows what she's doing. A woman who is remotely uncomfortable with exchanging sex for money should run like the wind.

The big disconnect here is the assumption that warnings are coming from a "don't be a ho" mentality and the assumption that this is an ambiguous situation. If they met at a bar, it would be ambiguous. Seeking arrangement sites are not ambiguous.

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While I fully understand your point of view and somewhat agree, I have to say that you are wrong in saying that this is not an ambiguous situation. Unless you have either done this yourself or done your research (which I have), you simply don't know.

The women (and the few men) involved in this are actually ENCOURAGED not to have sex with their "donors" as these websites do not want to be held liable for facilitating prostitution. Many of them do anyway. But many of them do not. I assume with long-term arrangements sex will inevitably become a part of the equation. But that is not automatically the assumption when you go on dates.

Although I've only recently been on a date, I've talked to MANY of these men. Many of them do operate under the assumption that sex will be part of the deal. But the vast majority asks you what you are looking for, knowing that is not to be assumed. Just like with regular dating, some of them drop you when they find out you're not going to put out. And just like with regular dating, some of them remain interested.

Essentially, I think you're not accounting for individuality. You are making blanket statements about what this is, when in reality, each person is different and each "couple" is different. People do the things they do for different reasons. Yes, there are common denominators and the "vast majority," you have to account for the individual. You can find what you're looking for, you just have to look harder.

Personally I've encountered far bigger creeps on normal dating sites than these ones. So far.

posted November 19, 2015 04:48 PM            

This is my "judgmental" input.
Some topics always raise "judgments" because they deserve it.

However, the synastry is very nice, especially for a friendship.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted November 19, 2015 08:00 PM            

My opinion on this - is basically - that if you were in a seriously dire financial situation and felt like you truly had no way out - no family or friends to help you out.. no job prospects etc.
For some time, I would feel like this sort of thing is - morally "ok" - for a person in such dire circumstances.
And I would feel like it is a preferable option to something like stripping or prostitution.

However, a person who is doing fine financially and has the support of friends and family - has no need for such arrangements...

This seems like a situation that would only serve to aggravate people's pre-existing psychological issues.
Issues like - lack of self-esteem, loneliness, feeling in need of parental affection/father or mother issues, unhealthy perspectives on love as being completely "conditional" etc.

But I am also very liberal in my views, and generally believe that all adults should have the freedom to make their own choices in life, in as much as this is possible - and in as much as their choices are not harming others.
So ... I am not judging you personally - because it's your prerogative to make your own choices.

posted November 19, 2015 08:12 PM            

Beyond that, I see no moral problem here.

People pay each other for their company any number of ways, and it's fine.

You can hire a person to be your personal assistant, maid, exercise trainer, driver, bodyguard, tutor. In all those cases, you seek something that another person can provide.

But you cannot pay someone to just be their beautiful self around you? THAT is different from the examples above, and bad?

In a concert setting, you can pay to sit in the front row, and it's the same thing...you may enjoy the performance, but really you're paying for their company. Are they, then, prostitutes to you??

If I was single and this was possible...sure I would pay Tom Hardy to go out for lunch with me. Damn straight! Yes I would!!!

He wouldn't be a prostitute. He'd just serve as a kind of beauty-idol, and I'd be devoutly leaving money at his altar.

LOL

posted November 19, 2015 08:26 PM            

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People pay each other for their company any number of ways, and it's fine.

You can hire a person to be your personal assistant, maid, exercise trainer, driver, bodyguard, tutor. In all those cases, you seek something that another person can provide.

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It's interesting you mentioned this... because what you said here, did cross my mind.
I was going to bring up - baby-sitting, caring for elderly, and dog walking, as other examples lol!