posted October 29, 2009 01:28 PM         

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

The overpopulated world thanks you.

posted October 29, 2009 02:07 PM         

My sentiments exactly on non-procreation.

posted October 29, 2009 02:43 PM         

but not having kids because i don't think i would be a good father. may be in 10 or 15 years.

valus, thanks for the congratulation. although i wonder if not having kids is the solution for everyone.

posted October 29, 2009 03:48 PM         

You know I can appreciate this. There have been a few times I almost started a thread on this topic, but was very hesitant for obvious reasons. I saved a few links that I was going to post too. Will try to find the others later (and read your thoughts on the other thread later too).

This can be a touchy subject for people....most interestingly, most often for the "breeders". lol kidding guys.

I'm not sure I want to post my thoughts here. Just wanted to say thanks for putting this out there. I understand.

some links:
Bella Online http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art12849.asp

Why I dont want children http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/feb/08/motherhood-children-babies1

posted October 29, 2009 04:38 PM         

Same here

My mother had me at 17 years old. I was unplanned pregnancy. The son of a teenage runaway. She had my half brother at 15 years old, but she was forced to give up for adoption.

my mother was unplanned herself. her mother used my former marines grandfather for an allotment check to help take care of her firstborn daughter. She wanted to end the marriage after she got pregnant with my mom. My maternal grandmother never wanted my mother. That's why she tried to give her up for adoption, but my grandfather wouldn't allow it. When he saw my mom, he kept her. He didn't want to give up his own child. He felt a strong connection to my mother. He ended up being the only parent that my mother knew just like my mother is the only parent that I ever knew.

my father and mother were only together for a short time. That was to bring me into the world. I am very certain of it.

I can't really judge on stuff like this.

I wouldn't mind having my own children some day. I would like to find a woman that I can spend the rest of my life with and have children with her. I don't want it to be some brief relationship. I want my child to have both his/her parents in his lives. I want him/her to have what my mother and I didn't have.

Raymond

------------------
"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted October 29, 2009 06:00 PM         

he replied, after a moment or two of thought, "no."

i agreed.

knowing what i know now, aging, both mentally and physically, the heartache, the pains the worry, i would not do it again.

being an objective witness and not taking my daughter's personalities into consideration, just from an objective viewpoint, i would not have kids if i knew then what i know now.

i love my daughters dearly, and they are blessed young women, but i have crossed through hell and back being a parent and i would not do it again.

my bfriend told me just the other day, he has presented my question to many people and all but one couple agreed.

posted October 29, 2009 07:57 PM         

I married late and had a child late. All of my friends, my co-workers, my younger sister etc were long since married and/or already had children. Oh the nagging! I still remember it. Childless? No, no, no, I would correct them. Childfree. Soooo tiresome. Amazing how many people have children 'just because'. Because everyone else does? Because it's the thing to do? Because ... what? .... there wasn't anything better to do? My husband had three (three!!??) children from his first marriage. "Oh dear God, why?", I wailed. Blank stare. "I don't know. We just did". *sigh* Unbelievable.

posted October 29, 2009 08:01 PM         

my father and mother were only together for a short time. That was to bring me into the world. I am very certain of it.

I believe you

posted October 29, 2009 09:00 PM         

when i think about it, i thank all of my friends' parents for having them. without them, i would have no friends. without procreation, none of us would be here. i'm 100% glad i'm here. i love my parents and my family and i'm glad i grew up in a large family both immediate and extended. i don't take my life or life in general for granted. it's not a joke to me to be so whatever about life.

posted October 29, 2009 11:21 PM         

glaucus i can relate...though her father and i were together 7 years altogether, and co-parented and stayed friends, when i look at my daughter's chart it shares so many points with our composite i have always felt we got together basically to have her. ie her chart mirrors our relationship. its uncanny.

though she was "accidentally" conceived, ie i didn't expect it or plan it, once pregnant i would not have given up having her for anything. i did conceive two more times, one fetus was damaged by illness and medicines, the other i lost. neither "failure" ever gave me a moment's grief.

i NEVER understood people who felt COMPELLED to have kids and robbed if they couldn't. there are so many children who don't have parents, why not give THEM some love?

posted October 29, 2009 11:55 PM         

hippi, out of everyone i know, not even one of them loves being a parent and would love to have their life back and be free. Of course most of them love their kids very much, but if they could turn back time, they wouldnt have had them at all. I'm sure there are some out there that feel differently though. I take care of an unwanted kid right now. It's more prevalent than most want admit. Thank you for your honest post.

posted October 30, 2009 05:45 AM         

And then an empty house when everyone goes home. And probably that's bliss for you.

posted October 30, 2009 11:44 AM         

quote:

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My bliss is different My heart is engaged in my bliss. Yours is disengaged. To each their own.

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