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Author
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Topic: We Split Up
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T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:54 PM
  
quote:
Who cares about a man's feelings, when he will not be accountable to the life he brought into the world?
Exactly.  And likes to try to rile women up at the same time. No wonder she left you. IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoSquared:
Who cares about a man's feelings, when he will not be accountable to the life he brought into the world?Men who don't support their children could be used as slaves, or sunk to the bottom of the ocean... I wouldn't fight for their rights.
I think you didn't get my message here. my point was why a man who has been rejected by the mother of his child, who's already born by definition, is allowed to be "replaced by the woman. does the dad has not the same almighty right to decide who will live with his own kid as the mother seems to have when she decided the life of the dad and his kid will not be "together"? after this type of rejection, the second humiliation is being told one must pay. a dad might want to raise his kid, (or not, like a mum by the way, just check the thread about borderline mother in SPITR if you don't think it is possible and women were all angels, by nature)
he might want to raise his kid but not on the terms chosen by the mother, or at the least be able to voice his disagreement, that he expected, when he fathered his son or daughter, to be able to spend his life with his kid. bringing this problem to a mere solution of financial ressources is insulting to the love of the dad for the kid. I don't think kids would be better off if their custody was automatically given to the dads, but it would help women realise what it means to have their kids taken away from them, and then be told to pay, or be send "to the bottom of the sea like slaves or whatever..." IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:03 PM
I don't get what the big deal is about paying....Kids cost a lot of money. BTW both parents are paying to raise it. Just because the mother has full custody, does not mean she's sitting back not having to pay a dime for her child. What's the big deal about paying money to support it? It has to be done. By both. No matter who has what kind of custody. And as far as I'm aware, the men arent asked to pay nearly enough and the woman often then has to work two jobs to still get by. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:08 PM
Point is, quit whining about paying. You are unhappy that it didnt work out and she left you. I'm sorry.Again, you could fight for full time custody. IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:13 PM
quote:
after this type of rejection, the second humiliation is being told one must pay.
This isn`t about rejection or humiliation. It`s about a child also being supported by the parent no longer living in the home. Separate your emotion from your obligation and and do what is right by the child unhindered your hurt feelings. ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4055
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 05:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by pire: [B] I think you didn't get my message here. my point was why a man who has been rejected by the mother of his child, who's already born by definition, is allowed to be "replaced by the woman. does the dad has not the same almighty right to decide who will live with his own kid as the mother seems to have when she decided the life of the dad and his kid will not be "together"? after this type of rejection, the second humiliation is being told one must pay. a dad might want to raise his kid, (or not, like a mum by the way, just check the thread about borderline mother in SPITR if you don't think it is possible and women were all angels, by nature) he might want to raise his kid but not on the terms chosen by the mother, or at the least be able to voice his disagreement, that he expected, when he fathered his son or daughter, to be able to spend his life with his kid. bringing this problem to a mere solution of financial ressources is insulting to the love of the dad for...
I don't sympathize with people who are morally and ethically wrong. No sympathy for the devil, no finger pointing at the mother. Wrong is wrong... Let em walk the plank.
IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:14 PM
I know what you mean T about money not being an issue, and I agree money shouldn't be a big deal here, but a genuine dad can not get more than giving money for his kid's ???  well in my mind, this problem happens between poor or uneducated people mainly. my dad never paid my mum, and neither were very much educated. but I see parents today who are educated and with a good standard of living and are educated enough to nottransfer their couple's problem onto their kids. this is probably a social class issue, mainly. as it is often when it is related with money actually. at least in my part of the world and from my perspective. IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoSquared:
I don't sympathize with people who are morally and ethically wrong. No sympathy for the devil, no finger pointing at the mother. Wrong is wrong...Let em walk the plank.
do as you wish, and feels good to you. I don' care. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:19 PM
quote:
but a genuine dad can not get more than giving money for his kid's ???
Sure he can. He still gets to see his kids and what could be better than fatherhood and doing your best at it, no matter the cirucumstances? How very rewarding for child AND father. Life's to short to be so petty. If you don't like something, figure out a way to change it or make the best of it. It's not as though the father has to pay and then can't ever see the kid again. quote:
well in my mind, this problem happens between poor or uneducated people mainly. my dad never paid my mum, and neither were very much educated. but I see parents today who are educated and with a good standard of living and are educated enough to nottransfer their couple's problem onto their kids. this is probably a social class issue, mainly. as it is often when it is related with money actually. at least in my part of the world and from my perspective.
I mostly agree with that.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8659
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 05:19 PM
Do you have kids,Coffee?------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:19 PM
Was wondering if he had kids too Ami.i thought I saw i pic of him in which he looked like he was 12.  Which explains the immaturity. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:19 PM
if not, please don't.  !!IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by juniperb:
This isn`t about rejection or humiliation. It`s about a child also being supported by the parent no longer living in the home. Separate your emotion from your obligation and and do what is right by the [b]child unhindered your hurt feelings. [/B]
well, in my opinion, the humiliation lies in the fact that the dad is not living with the kid anymore and is replaced by another man if this one comes to play the role of the dad (humiliation N°1) and his basically told that his only contribution to his kid's life will be material when he had expected to share life experiences and his knowledge with his very own kid, the flesh of his flesh, no more no less than the mother. (humiliation N°2) IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4055
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 05:27 PM
Women be diligent and do not breed with empathy lacking men. They will recklessly breed, abuse, abandon, then turn the table and claim it was because their feelings are hurt? Abandoning children to other men, and to their mothers is like leaving a child exposed to the winter.I can't shed one tear for the seed spreaders. Shame on you. At least k-fed fought for his rights. If you didn't and just walked, you're worse than K-fed, and that's pathetic IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:27 PM
Is it really that "humiliating' in this day and age??  Check your ego, if it is.People with children get divorced and break up all the time. Sometimes, that is a fortunate thing for the children. Humiliating? Sometimes things don't work out. Everyone knows that. IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:37 PM
ok, let's imagine, you have kids, and after a while it doesn't work out between you and your partner. you separate, he keeps the kids and eventually get to live with another women. what if she become effectively the kid new mother, deciding instead of you if the girl is allowed to go play outside until dark when 10 years old, if the boy can drink or not with his friends after school. and you are told to pay. and when you disagree, you either face an ex-husband who does'nt care and use your kids to get revenge on you, or your kids have lost respect for you and blatantly do not listen anymore. but you pay... at least you've done your sharewill you not feel humiliated? I think my dad died of this. it took him less than 10 years between the time he was forbidden access to me and my sis by our step dad and the day he died of an aneurysm. I think consequecence are greater than just humiliation in fact IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:37 PM
Yes Pire, it is indeed humiliating. I concur BUT it`s not about personal feelings! It`s about the health and welfare of the CHILD. ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:38 PM
sorry if I damaged the playful bashing of unmoral men.carry on!  IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:44 PM
on that part I totally agree juniperb, and I think if some men, not all, that goes without saying, if some men are troubled by this idea to be reduced to money, it can also be because they see beyond the material aspect of the life of their kid, because they have their interest at heart.and although it should not prevent them from contributing financially, I believe some men sent close to the edge by this whole situation might fail to see that this is the greatest opportunity to show to their kids that their dad has a huge pair of balls indeed. IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:49 PM
quote:
and although it should not prevent them from contributing financially, I believe some men sent close to the edge by this whole situation might fail to see that this is the greatest opportunity to show to their kids that their dad has a huge pair of balls indeed.
Yes pire, it is sad for the Dads, no doubt  and I have empathy for those who go to the edge bearing the absence of their child. That is another issue and a very difficult one in any mans life.. I am sorry for the loss of your Dad and the grief he suffered. ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:51 PM
and I am sorry I got emotional it's late here, time for bed I suppose..  IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:53 PM
Hi pire. I understand. I wouldnt feel "humiliated" though, but would feel very sad about the situation, yes.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:55 PM
Don't be sorry, pire! It was just a little boy pullin' our pigtails! IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:57 PM
 IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 05:59 PM
LOL, sweet dreams Pire.------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
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