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Author
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Topic: We Split Up
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Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1341
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 02:26 PM
  
I was just wondering, if any people are not scared of telling...How many people here have had children, and then moved onto another fella, making the ORIGINAL father pay maintenance/child support?
Or just make them pay child maintenance? I'm just after seeing if there is a pattern with this unfair action.
IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 1365
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 02:50 PM
If you are talking about your biological child, wouldn't you want to contribute to her support?IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 02:56 PM
Yeah, what? "Unfair action" would be if you left the child you made and didnt pay a dime.Adults break up in life. But if you made a baby, better want to take care of it for the rest of your life. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 03:01 PM
quote:
making the ORIGINAL father pay maintenance/child support?
Does the kid suddenly become the other guy's? I would hope the original father would not want the new guy to replace him and continue to want to support and care for his own kid that he brought into the world. Not hand the responsibility over to a stranger. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8659
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 03:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lalalinda:
If you are talking about your biological child, wouldn't you want to contribute to her support?
Coffee,Sweetie,HOW can one argue with this? ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 03:19 PM
Biological or adopted child is equal and paying support is basic care and a way of honoring the child and his/her place in your life.------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4055
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 03:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Coffee:
I was just wondering, if any people are not scared of telling...How many people here have had children, and then moved onto another fella, making the ORIGINAL father pay maintenance/child support?
Or just make them pay child maintenance? I'm just after seeing if there is a pattern with this unfair action.
Wow. That's all I have to say. But, I should've known with your "marriage is just a woman's contract" earlier on. Hahaha. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4055
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 03:21 PM
I have a question:How many guys like to make babies, but not take care of them financially or in any other way...  IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 03:21 PM
ps What is the difference between child support and child maintenance?------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 03:23 PM
Pluto, too many  ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4055
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 03:24 PM
Speaking of which, I have a client whose old massage therapist just lost a son at 17 years old to tissue rejection of a transplant heart.His father did not help pay for health care, so the boy could not afford his anti-rejection medication. His mother couldn't afford them on her own, either. So the boy went without. His heart was rejected, and he died suddenly in the morning, a year ago. His father also did not help pay for the funeral for the boy. Men who do not support their children with healthcare, emotional support, financial backing, etc are as good as murderers in my opinion. But, that's just me. IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 3492
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 03:30 PM
most grown, responsible women dont just have a baby and split up with the childs father just for child supporti mean, i know a girl, i cant even call her a woman, who actually had a kid just for job security, because her kids father is the son of the owner of a local company and then has the nerve to talk crap about other girls who do the same as her...and she doesnt even take care of this kid but other women, with integrity, dont just split up with their boyfriend, or fiance, or husband just for his money if i did that my momma would beat the crap outta me, that is for sure ------------------
What happens on Venus stays on Venus -Nasa IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4055
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 03:35 PM
quote:
Originally posted by juniperb:
ps What is the difference between child support and child maintenance?
I don't know if there's a difference, Juniperb. IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 03:47 PM
Maybe in the UK there`s a difference ? Either way, it`s the right of the child and responsibility of the Father. No in-betweens.------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1341
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:16 PM
To me, people get married because they are serious about being together. Same with a child. It's unfair for the (former) father to pay child support while he is not with the mother of his child. Yes, paying is fine, but I just find it not right that the parents split up. Sure the fathers want to pay, but I'm sure they had a future with said kid (full-time) and partner in mind when they signed up. They didn't sign up to have a part-time kid, no matter what society says about the male personality (off to earn some cash to raise the family and spread more seed.) Yes, I know it sounds bad from what I have written. Anyone done this? Thought I might get a reaction. IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1647
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:19 PM
*Either way, it`s the right of the child and responsibility of the Father. No in-betweens.* No reaction; just stating a legal, moral and ethical fact ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:24 PM
I kind of see a reason to "forgive" men who don't pay for child support. although I understand women saying that the dad remains the dad, the child most of the time lives with the mother. the question should be asked : if the mentalities changed and kids would equally live mainly with their dads and on week ends with their mum, would the mum give money for child support?I realise my comment is controversial, it is also meant to be a bit. cause a child needs EVERY support he can get. IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1341
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:25 PM
If you think about this, it's much more clever for the mum to leave the original father. 1st, they would have the payments from the previous father, while 2nd they would likely have money (or goods) from the new boyfriend. It may seem a little selfish, but this option, in effect, the baby gets more in terms of money from original father, and gifts/money from Mums new partner.I have heard women talk about this, and while it is deemed bad and not great for the original father, it's great for the mother and, hopefully, the baby. IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 3492
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 04:27 PM
coffee, if the kid goes to live with his or her father instead of his or her mother then the mom will have to pay child support, its not just the dads responsibility...its whatever parent is not taking care of the kid full time that has to send support...that way both parents are still taking care of the kid------------------
What happens on Venus stays on Venus -Nasa IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:35 PM
Niki is right. Whoever is the full time parent, has to pay the child support.Why don't you fight for full time custody then, Coffee? Care to be a full time dad? You can see how expensive it really is then. Otherwise, man up and be a father. quote:
It may seem a little selfish, but this option, in effect, the baby gets more in terms of money from original father, and gifts/money from Mums new partner.
Yes, it is. You should be happy if your baby has a better quality of life. Which it seems she might be giving it, by having left you. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8659
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 04:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Coffee:
To me, people get married because they are serious about being together. Same with a child. It's unfair for the (former) father to pay child support while he is not with the mother of his child. Yes, paying is fine, but I just find it not right that the parents split up. Sure the fathers want to pay, but I'm sure they had a future with said kid (full-time) and partner in mind when they signed up. They didn't sign up to have a part-time kid, no matter what society says about the male personality (off to earn some cash to raise the family and spread more seed.) Yes, I know it sounds bad from what I have written. Anyone done this? Thought I might get a reaction.
You are an inciter,Coffee ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 1794
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:45 PM
I think it is not right for women to be bitter and patronizing on this subject do you imagine what it feels like to be "replacable"? that is usually men who are left to feel this, while women keep the kids that were "created" by both adults. not by women alone. so being told that one can be replaced is "a bit" hurtful. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4055
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 04:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by pire:
I think it is not right for women to be bitter and patronizing on this subject do you imagine what it feels like to be "replacable"? that is usually men who are left to feel this, while women keep the kids of BOTH adults.
Who cares about a man's feelings, when he will not be accountable to the life he brought into the world? Men who don't support their children could be used as slaves, or sunk to the bottom of the ocean... I wouldn't fight for their rights. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8659
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 04:50 PM
editIP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3472
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2011 04:51 PM
quote:
I think it is not right for women to be bitter and patronizing on this subject
Why not? Maybe some of us grew up having a dead beat dad and also watched girlfriends who had children have do deal with them and watch the CHILDREN SUFFER FOR IT. Acting like little boys and making the children suffer. Because they are angry the women left them. Do you think it's right for the man to do that? Change the situation then. Or deal with it with the child at the forefront of your mind. It seems to me all this guy is thinking about is how ****** he is that the woman left him - himself. I've also wondered, after reading other posts of his, if deep down he hates women and what his mother was like to him. We've seen him try to stir the pot before. It's childish. IP: Logged |
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