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Author
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Topic: Women and respect for themselves
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teasel
Knowflake Posts: 3146
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 04, 2010 08:00 PM
  
cpn has a great point with this: quote:
t- men are never going to leave you alone because you are very stunning and beautiful, no makeup, sweatpants and mis matched socks and you are still more beautiful on accident than most women on purpose.
 A lot of them probably don't think you're desperate at all. They may just have been waiting for what they see as the right opportunity - striking whilst the iron looks hot to them, and whilst they have the confidence to do so. (Although when you're right out of a serious relationship, seems a little much - way too soon.) IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
unregistered
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posted November 04, 2010 08:34 PM
exactly .....guys think like...YES...my turn to try for the hot chick..being independant and an artist makes you even hotter and better catch because you could care less.guys love that sh1t, it makes em try harder when you aren't interested..seriously.i don't know why.sorry off topic... don't get stuck with a schmuck...there we go..back on topic. IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 3015
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 04:45 AM
"The challenge in developing the soul-level relationship is to maintain our openness without harming ourselves, to keep the heart an open window for giving and receiving love. However, many people give from an open heart without discrimination..." "It is good to love others unconditionally, but it is not good to engage in relationships unconditionally. To do so may be to martyr ourselves to a situation that is unhealthy. If they are not sincere, sensitive, respectful and fair to us, then we throw ourselves away if we love them without restriction. We lose our centre, give away our power, and forfeit our self-esteem when we express love to someone who has not earned it through cultivating the proper attitude” Terry Lamb
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quote:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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teasel
Knowflake Posts: 3146
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 04:52 AM
quote:
"It is good to love others unconditionally, but it is not good to engage in relationships unconditionally. To do so may be to martyr ourselves to a situation that is unhealthy. If they are not sincere, sensitive, respectful and fair to us, then we throw ourselves away if we love them without restriction. We lose our centre, give away our power, and forfeit our self-esteem when we express love to someone who has not earned it through cultivating the proper attitude”
So true. IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 3015
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 05:13 AM
Going back to my enet discussion. That is abuse too. A dude sits and hides behind his pc and “befriends” women in bad relationships or ones that are generally lonely. They are injected with compliments and flattery. The woman already in a vulnerable state falls for the perpetrator. What she doesn’t realize is that it’s a pattern with this sort of man. He needs his ego to be fed, he wants attention. Once he is confident that she is hooked in, he might suggest meeting hoping that what was shared between them online would be a strong enough “bond”. If the woman rejects him he will react with anger and most likely find ways to harass her online or make her appear to be a bad woman to others by discrediting her character or making her seem like a person with no moral ethics. Usually the woman lands up being a victim. She keeps silent. This allows male enet predators to continue their disruptive patterns of abuse. How do they justify this behavior? It’s fantasy? How is it fantasy when other life is being disrupted in some cases even ruined? Why drag another person into this fantasy? Selfish. That’s what it is. In most cases the man is already in a relationship with his partner unaware of what he is up to. In these cases the partner suffers too.  Just sad. So ladies please be careful online as well.
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quote:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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charmainec
Moderator Posts: 3015
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 05:16 AM
To all the women here who have been abused, overcame and got out  You are all strong and don't ever feel ashamed. It is NOT your shame.DO NOT be afraid to speak out.There are those that will help and support, remember that  ------------------
quote:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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AbsintheDragonfly
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted November 05, 2010 09:58 AM
Charm Bless you for starting this post. People need to understand these jerks are emotional vampires, and will suck you dry, and then when you have no life left to give, they will drop you and move on. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 10:52 AM
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T
Knowflake Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 10:57 AM
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T
Knowflake Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 11:07 AM
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T
Knowflake Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 11:11 AM
quote:
love should make a person feel secure and safe and accepted and appreciated for who you are. the face of hate or the opposite of that is a very ugly thing... i think you have to love yourself to know you deserve good things and then good things can come.don't get stuck with a schmuck
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charmainec
Moderator Posts: 3015
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 01:17 PM
T you could block and delete him.------------------
quote:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
IP: Logged |
AbsintheDragonfly
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted November 05, 2010 01:29 PM
Yeah that's what I would do too T.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 01:39 PM
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T
Knowflake Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 05, 2010 01:41 PM
psst Abs, I " ed" you earlier btw.  you know where.IP: Logged |
AbsintheDragonfly
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted November 05, 2010 05:00 PM
Aww You DARLING!!! at you TOO! And thanks You might just be extra sensitive right now, because you're healing. KWIM? Maybe he just thinks you're a kick butt artist, cause you are, and wants to promote you in some small way. Oh and BTW, email me cause I have something to speak with you about regarding art and selling, etc. Hugs,
ADfly IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 01:42 AM
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BearsArcher
Moderator Posts: 625
From: Arizona with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted November 06, 2010 05:23 AM
charmainec, I understand. In my dating life I was very lucky and even went through a divorce that was amicable. It wasn't until later that I met a man that was so depraved that he spun my world upside down. He started off being such a wonderful person (I will spare the details because they are textbook for pathological freaks) and then turned into my worst nightmare. Ironically, he once gave me information about Narcissism because he was worried about his brother suffering from such an afflication. Once I read the docs, I realized "HELLO.. he is the narcissist". He was verbally abusive at first (mostly mental) and then became physically abusive. I secretely found a new place to live and he found out and tried everything to try and ruin it for me. In the end, I was able to leave one day, while he was asleep and never come back- with the exception of getting my things with several "friends..AKA body guards". The strangest thing was that there was only one other person that could make me feel so damn uncomfortable and that was my first boyfriend. When I broke up with him I never looked back and never thought I would be with another ahole. Thank God I am with an awesome man now (going on 5 years) and he has never been verbally, mentally, emotionally or physically abusive. I believe that once we go through hell, we feel the heat miles before we hit the source. As far as the enet- yep, I have been witness to that crap. There was a time when I first signed up here that a man felt he was God's gift to women. He would praise them and then chastize them in the same post. If someone disagreed with him, then she (because it was always a SHE) would get the written beat down of a life time. He and I disagreed and he went after me like a dog after his toy. It was horrible. However, he crossed a line and was banned. Still, I think about his BS from time to time. There have been a few like him here. One in particular, that I have dealt with and HE knows that I have his number. No matter how he threatens me over this site he knows that if he even comes close, I will crush him (well, maybe not me but Bear the Leo will in a heartbeat). See.. idiots like him use the enet to get to people but they are so stupid because they have no idea how the enet can lead certain people BACK to them. They sit behind their monitor or screen pretending to be more than they are. Almost always they are low-lifes that have no ambition what so ever other than to live in the basement or attic of their mommy and daddy's house. Meanwhile, they have perfected how to mimic regular human beings and trap people into their web. Sadly, once they are discovered they act out in violent or malicious ways. Pathetic if you really think about it. Has our world really digressed to a point where human contact has been reduced to just words over the internet? Seriously, to some this is their world. BTW, I am not talking about people that can't leave their homes for health reasons or are stuck in a situation where the enet is all they have. I am talking about weirdos that have nothing in their lives BUT the enet so they invent this persona that enables them to feel important.
Enet aholes are the worst. They figure out ways to screw people over and discover info about them. In reality those kinds of people are insignificant because they could never do anything in their real lives. They live behind the keyboard, goading, stalking, trying to get close to people. But once others realize the enet ahole has no clothes..... well, that is when the beast comes out- the teeny tiny beast that tries to hurt others because HE is overcompensating for a MAJOR lack in well.... his tiny personality (to be nice).
OK.. time for bed... Rocky (our wee lab.. okay not so wee at 80lbs) is demanding love. WTH, he is a Pisces but acts like Bear the Leo when he wants attention LOL... Pidaua- signing out  Goodnight all and don't let the narcissistic aholes bring you down. They are suffering little pee pee syndrome. LMAO!!! IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 3146
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 06:53 AM
Anxiety disorders and depression, I understand - I've said in the past that Lindaland helped me out in that way (I'm still pretty isolated, but I do go out, I've met the neighbours, whenever I've had a missing animal - or walked around trying to find the owner of an animal I've found - I've made a lot of progress, and would have made more, had I not been so out of the way). LL helped me with my social anxiety - something I still deal with, but it's a lot better. But those who aren't genuine, and are just messing with you, and/or dangerous:  IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 3146
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 07:10 AM
.IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 6984
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 11:08 AM
good post pid...but i wish it were true that once burned people learn/grow antennae...someone i know who has been in abusive relationships several times is currently getting involved with someone she dumped - 3 times - because of his controllingly possessive tendencies...every time this happens she becomes defensive with her loved ones so i have to think she knows in her soul that this is another sticky one, but she talks herself into it all the same. all i can do is be there for support but sometimes i feel like a punching bag instead and that makes it very hard to go on.that is the weirdest part of being abused, that you start to act out some abusive behaviours yourself to anyone and everyone who might be trying to open your eyes... IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 988
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:37 PM
Kat ~ sometimes you have to meet the same "type" of person over and over again before you finally learn that they're not good for you or your growth as a person And there are women who would rather be involved with an abuser than be ALONE..... IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2196
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 12:49 PM
Thank you for sharing Pid. I'm grateful in so many ways that you shared that. IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 988
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 01:36 PM
kat ~ quote:
every time this happens she becomes defensive with her loved ones so i have to think she knows in her soul that this is another sticky one, but she talks herself into it all the same.
Even if she won't admit it to herself, she knows she made/is making a mistake, and is projecting her anger with herself onto you IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 988
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2010 01:55 PM
I want to add a postscript to my personal story of domestic violence and emotional abuse:My ex has a FB profile. If he ever tries to contact me, I'll block him, but until he does, I'll let sleeping dogs lie. His profile pic is one of the saddest photos I have ever seen
The pain and defeat I see in my ex's face tears at my heart, but I know that there's nothing I can do, and that I have to stay away both for the sake of my own health and sanity, and our son's. Some people have told me that I was wrong to keep my boy ignorant about his father (and away from his father). Even my ex - whose father hit him with 2x4's, pushed him down the stairs, and stabbed him with his fork at the dinner table - said that he was glad he had a father, even one who beat the crap out of him. But I know that all my boy's good qualities would have been warped when he was still growing and impressionable, if I had allowed or encouraged any contact with his father. I feel empathy: that here is a human being who lashes out at others because he can't look in the mirror and honestly deal with what's inside himself and heal/grow - the demon you know is easier to live with than the unknown - but all I can do to inject any positivity into his situation is to ask the Universe to give that poor woman he's sucking dry right now the strength to get away from him. He'll find another lonely soul who will feel sorry for him, protect him, feed his ego and his body, and love him in spite of the disrespect he shows her, and his bitterness about all women that he takes out on her..... IP: Logged |
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