posted November 10, 2010 10:25 AM            

quote:

---

There's so many women on this site,
it's refreshing to hear a man's take.
Here's mine:

Isn't it indicative of a victim mentality
to think of yourself as someone who is
always threatened with being victimized?

My own experience, observing relationships,
especially in America, is that the women
tend to be the bulldozers.

(I've heard this from a number of women
who grew up outside the United States,
and think American women tend to have
an exaggerated sense of entitlement.)

It's like they think they're going to be
taken advantage of if they're not pushy.

So many women try to justify being demanding
by saying they're sticking up for themselves.

Really, it's about meeting half-way;
doesn't matter if you're the guy or the girl.

The rest is bullsh!t.

---

Sorry, Valus, but I think this is bullsh!t (and you know I like you - I'm actually surprised to hear this from you, going by the other men I've heard this from).

You can be assertive and set boundaries, without being a bulldozer... and frankly, plenty of men over here seem to have an extremely high sense of entitlement. Maybe it's time that women caught up with them, on that front.

Most of this thread ended up being a sad reminder of how many women are abused - as well as a wonderful thread of support - no sense of entitlement there, unless it involved their wanting to live a healthy life, and remain in one piece. Thirty years on, I still remember looking up at the guy who had his hands around my throat, as my mother pulled at his fingers, trying to stop him - she said I was turning blue. I then saw what she went through with a few other men - the one who raped her, did so out of his own insecurity, and entitlement.

I really am surprised at you, because the men who usually display this attitude, are the ones that are shopping for brides from places like Asia and Russia.

I grew up mainly in England, before moving back over here, so does that make my opinion valid?

posted November 10, 2010 10:34 AM              

quote:

---

You can be assertive and set boundaries, without being a bulldozer

---

Did I say otherwise?

Did I suggest that anyone on this thread
is guilty of the crime I'm talking about?

Did I say that women should be submissive?

No, no, and no.

You're projecting.

Look at what I really said.

Do you think women never abuse?

Do you think people never victimize
from a fear of being victimized?

Is there no such thing as a pushy woman?

Can only men be overbearing?

You're obviously misreading me.

It's okay. I'm used to it.

I've got too much Scorpio and Aquarius
to be surprised at misunderstanding.

Still love ya.

posted November 10, 2010 10:58 AM            

but it is also true that men, who have the advantage physically and DO carry an implicit THREAT OF PHYSICAL ABUSE when they are being bullies in a relationship, are more likely to cause permanent and even fatal harm in abusive relationships.

we were also discussing how women's fight for EQUALITY has in many cases resulted in men who take advantage of that equality to allow their women to do all the work, not just bringing home the (animal or vegan) bacon but ALSO being expected to cook it, do the household chores, and be ever amenable to what the man wants, and if they object they are called "bulldozers" or "pushy" or "ball breakers"...

but this was not, like your threads usually are, about IDEAS and philosophy but about people's PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

posted November 10, 2010 11:40 AM            

------------------

quote:

---

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

---

posted November 10, 2010 12:01 PM              

I didnt read all five pages of the thread.

Is that a prerequisite to posting now?

And if what I said was already said,
why the big fuss over it when I say it?

posted November 10, 2010 12:12 PM            

and yes, if you are going to object to a thread you should know what you are objecting to, so reading would be a prerequisite to objections/judgements on the content.

posted November 10, 2010 12:13 PM            

quote:

---

and yes, if you are going to object to a thread you should know what you are objecting to, so reading would be a prerequisite to objections/judgements on the content.

---

posted November 10, 2010 12:14 PM              

You really want to fight, huh?

Sorry, not interested.

Maybe jwhop can oblige you?

posted November 10, 2010 12:26 PM              

am I the only one who sees the irony in this?

posted November 10, 2010 12:41 PM            

Valus, if you don't have anything productive to say on this post, kindly remove yourself, or else it will be strike 2.

Charminec, has graciously asked you to stop posting, and you've ...come in and started crap.

posted November 10, 2010 12:51 PM            

Productive?

You mean like trolling like this?

quote:

---

ow...Someone's really starving for attention

BWAHAHAHA!!!

Stepping into the lion's den with a toothpick...brave? or merely umm...well you pick the adjective.

---

The hypocrisy here is so OVERWHELMING I might just throw up.

Oh and BTW, I BEG YOU ALL to stay the **** out of my personal life!

posted November 10, 2010 01:00 PM            

Did you really WANT to drag out personal things on here? Cause Valus came in and started talking about personal topics.

posted November 10, 2010 01:22 PM              

We don't "think", we know.
Take your pop psychology and shove it.

MVM,

posted November 10, 2010 01:23 PM            

I feel horrible for all the PEOPLE who were subjected to abuse of any form. I've seen them around me. I cannot imagine the pain and suffering involved. I can't cry their tears but I can listen and have listened to them.

People need to have respect for themselves first and foremost. Practice self-love. Then extend it onto others.

posted November 10, 2010 01:24 PM              

"Only Breath"

Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu
Buddhist, sufi, or zen. Not any religion

or cultural system. I am not from the East
or the West, not out of the ocean or up

from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not
composed of elements at all. I do not exist,

am not an entity in this world or in the next,
did not descend from Adam and Eve or any

origin story. My place is placeless, a trace
of the traceless. Neither body or soul.

I belong to the beloved, have seen the two
worlds as one and that one call to and know,

first, last, outer, inner, only that
breath breathing human being.

posted November 10, 2010 01:26 PM              

.

posted November 10, 2010 01:28 PM              

You're not starting to get it at all.

And please don't fan the flames.

This doesn't even concern you,
and you're using inflammatory words
like "shrieking sh!tfest"?

This concerns us deeply, personally.

posted November 10, 2010 01:29 PM            

The only thing you did is react to not liking this thread and to basically trash it.