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Author
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Topic: Can't fall in love
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 3495
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 10:18 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Booty call  most guys really don't care about experience but you said you want to fall in love. Which kind of implies wanting a different kind of intimacy than just sex.
I flip-flop. Sometimes I want love, sometimes I don't lol. I thought they care if you're bad...I mean would you stick around in a relationship or booty call if it was bad?
IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 3495
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 10:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Xiiro:
You're in luck gurrl, cause the straight guys I know are not horribly picky about the prowess of their hook ups. If you find a steady booty call you can always use them as sexual practice. I actually did that with a guy, except the practice was with companionship, not sex. We lived together and specifically "didn't date" for a few years, and used the opportunity to feel out how to be in an emotionally beneficial relationship with another person. Lots of cuddling and caring for each other took place, some fights, but a strong desire to support each other. The sexual chemistry just wasn't there, so it was just never part of the "deal". Practicing companionship was something we both definitely needed and I was glad to have the opportunity.
How did you find that? I feel like when I try to communicate that they think I'm weird. That I'm supposed to just keep what I want to myself and go with the flow, be "cool" so that they don't feel any pressure. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 10:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I flip-flop. Sometimes I want love, sometimes I don't lol.I thought they care if you're bad...I mean would you stick around in a relationship or booty call if it was bad?
your mistake here is assuming guys think like girls, we dont. us guys are pretty much gonna get off no matter what, so theres really no such thing as bad sex for us, granted there are some girls better then others, but none really bad. also , you assume guys value experience like girls do, we dont really. lots of guys dont like girls with lots of experience.IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 3495
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 10:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by hannaramaa:
[b] I flip-flop. Sometimes I want love, sometimes I don't lol.I thought they care if you're bad...I mean would you stick around in a relationship or booty call if it was bad?
your mistake here is assuming guys think like girls, we dont. us guys are pretty much gonna get off no matter what, so theres really no such thing as bad sex for us, granted there are some girls better then others, but none really bad. also , you assume guys value experience like girls do, we dont really. lots of guys dont like girls with lots of experience.[/B][/QUOTE] But the girls with experience get the guys because they have experience! IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 2739
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 10:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I flip-flop. Sometimes I want love, sometimes I don't lol.I thought they care if you're bad...I mean would you stick around in a relationship or booty call if it was bad?
It depends, if your in a relationship with someone and the sex isn't "good" you can learn what the other person likes or dislikes and become in sync with one another. The way a guy receive sexual pleasure and the way a women receives sexual pleasure is two different things simply because there's two different "equipment". Some guys are turned on by the idea that a girl has a lot of sexual experience and others have a kink for the innocent, purity thing that they can corrupt and unveil her sexuality for her. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 10:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
But the girls with experience get the guys because they have experience!
no, they get guys because they are easy IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 984
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 10:40 PM
I don't know about all this innocence and easy and experience stuff. Not sure I agree with the whole men prefer innocence thing. A certain type of male does, yes. But then there are those who simply... don't care.The girls I've observed "get all da guys" usually had a thing called confidence. Spunk. Wit. Charm. A backbone. Either that or conventionally good looks. Or both sometimes. Those things are not tied into experience or the lack thereof... Anyways Hanna, I was just gonna originally comment and say that you are lovable. And beautiful. I have Venus-Saturn too, have been in dysfunctional relationships and taken advantage of, but that aspect alone doesn't mean you are going to be by yourself for the rest of your ever living life... you still have more time. It is important to focus on the things in life that reward you, and avoid self-destructive thoughts that might lead you into unsatisfactory relationships. You deserve only the best. I know this may not help much but I mean it. IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 2739
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 10:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
I don't know about all this innocence and easy and experience stuff. Not sure I agree with the whole men prefer innocence thing. A certain type of male is, yes. But then there are those who simply... don't care.The girls I've observed "get guys" usually had a thing called confidence. Spunk. Wit. Charm. A backbone. Either that or conventionally good looks. Or both sometimes. Those things are not tied into experience or the lack thereof...
Finally another rational person appears IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 3495
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 10:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
I don't know about all this innocence and easy and experience stuff. Not sure I agree with the whole men prefer innocence thing. A certain type of male is, yes. But then there are those who simply... don't care.The girls I've observed "get guys" usually had a thing called confidence. Spunk. Wit. Charm. A backbone. Either that or conventionally good looks. Or both sometimes. Those things are not tied into experience or the lack thereof... Anyways Hanna, I was just gonna originally comment and say that you are lovable. And beautiful. I have Venus-Saturn too, have been in dysfunctional relationships and taken advantage of, but that aspect alone doesn't mean you are going to be by yourself for the rest of your ever living life... you still have more time. It is important to focus on the things in life that reward you, and avoid self-destructive thoughts that might lead you into unsatisfactory relationships. You deserve only the best. I know this may not help much but I mean it.
AW. I know you do, and I really appreciate your kind words! Everyone's really. I try hard to have confidence but it falters in some areas :smile: I actually read a lot of books on the law of attraction (not just to help me but the wisdom they impart is interesting). I know it doesn't mean I won't be alone, and I do attract guys. I just worry, about everything.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 10:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
I don't know about all this innocence and easy and experience stuff. Not sure I agree with the whole men prefer innocence thing. A certain type of male is, yes. But then there are those who simply... don't care.The girls I've observed "get guys" usually had a thing called confidence. Spunk. Wit. Charm. A backbone. Either that or conventionally good looks. Or both sometimes. Those things are not tied into experience or the lack thereof... Anyways Hanna, I was just gonna originally comment and say that you are lovable. And beautiful. I have Venus-Saturn too, have been in dysfunctional relationships and taken advantage of, but that aspect alone doesn't mean you are going to be by yourself for the rest of your ever living life... you still have more time. It is important to focus on the things in life that reward you, and avoid self-destructive thoughts that might lead you into unsatisfactory relationships. You deserve only the best. I know this may not help much but I mean it.
i'm gonna disagree , i'm a guy i know these things. i have never heard a guy complain about a girl being inexperienced , but i have heard guys complain about girls being too experienced, those girls get a reputation as an easy lay among guys. i'll somewhat agree that some guys dont care either way, but i can say,with authority that most guys have a preference for girls who havent been around the block as many times.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 10:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Finally another rational person appears
um im a man and think like a man but apparently girls think they know a mans mind better then i do lmao. IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 2739
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 10:52 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
um im a man and think like a man but apparently girls think they know a mans mind better then i do lmao.
Your not exactly the poster child for a man that actually "likes" women or girls. IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 9230
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 11:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
AW. I know you do, and I really appreciate your kind words! Everyone's really. I try hard to have confidence but it falters in some areas :smile: I actually read a lot of books on the law of attraction (not just to help me but the wisdom they impart is interesting). I know it doesn't mean I won't be alone, and I do attract guys. I just worry, about everything.
I like the art of seduction. There's a PDF somewhere online. Maybe I've posted it here too. What's the law of attraction? Positive thinking? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 11:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Your not exactly the poster child for a man that actually "likes" women or girls.
wtf? lol yes i do... but even if you want to think that way you do realize i am a straight man and hang out with other straight men. i'm just telling you what we really think lol , do you think a guy is gonna tell you to your face that he is turned off by experienced women? probably not... again , i'm just being completely honest here and sharing my opinion and what other guys have told me IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 9230
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 11:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
The girls I've observed "get all da guys" usually had a thing called confidence. Spunk. Wit. Charm. A backbone. Either that or conventionally good looks. Or both sometimes.
Yes. As shallow as I perceive myself to be it's really this that gets me. Helps to be cute. Definitely. Wit yes omg! Sex and laughter in between! IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 2739
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 11:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
wtf? lol yes i do... but even if you want to think that way you do realize i am a straight man and hang out with other straight men. i'm just telling you what we really think lol , do you think a guy is gonna tell you to your face that he is turned off by experienced women? probably not... again , i'm just being completely honest here and sharing my opinion and what other guys have told me
I didn't question your sexuality, rather its a observation of the way of constantly speak about the flaws of women or how horrible women are yet you give off the vibe even on a online forum ,that I would even go as far as say you hate women. Your one guy barely breaking 21 and your saying your opinion encompasses the entire opinion of every single heterosexual male between the age of 20-30. Why should my opinion be any less valid based on my experience dating as a woman within her age range or lazycrow's experience. There's two sides to the issue. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 11:13 PM
@hanna, so you really want to do the booty call thing? then put yourself out there, you will definitely get some takers. now whether or not you like the guys who are interested is another matter entirely. but you should be able to find a guy you like.IP: Logged |
Xiiro
Moderator Posts: 1423
From: San Diego CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 11:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
How did you find that? I feel like when I try to communicate that they think I'm weird. That I'm supposed to just keep what I want to myself and go with the flow, be "cool" so that they don't feel any pressure.
Gay relationships are more simple (not in the sense of generally more simple, just simple in this respect) in the sense that there is a capacity for understanding that doesn't generally exist in opposite sex relationships. The games still exist, but we tend to understand each other's psychology better. For example, you can say the word "whatever" in two specific tones and another woman may be more likely to comprehend the meaning behind both occasions. A guy on the other hand can be more likely to just apply it to the translation which seems to be the most apparent fit. Gay couples also have the benefit of society having not completely over run our courting practices (yet), so there is no gender-based etiquette regarding who pays, when to put out, how to act in order to make the other person respect you, etc. So to answer your question, I found it through communicating. For the most part I find its most enjoyable to meet a guy, feel him out, and pursue or move on from our resulting collective needs. In the case of my non-boyfriend, we started off trying to date, but just couldn't make the chemistry work. We liked each other's company so much though, that we settled on just that, no strings attached, if we met someone else, the companionship would transform into respectful friendship. I think the first step to finding a good man is freely expressing your desires and interests (while respecting his in return). It is a fast way to end a potentially annoying long-term relationship. If Saturn can do anything, it's establish terms, just make sure to revisit those terms when things start to grow or shrink. If you meet a guy and say, "listen, I'm attracted to you, but all my life has room for right now is a friend with benefits. What exactly are you looking for?" Chances are, his brain will pop. Then if you go on to say, "My only real stipulation is, I have never done this before. I'm looking for someone who will respect my pace and comfort." He will say..."Okay!" And that's that. From that point on, you just have to remember he is your vibrator and not your boyfriend lol. My friend met her booty call at the beach I think, or a bar (he was a surfer). They got into a routine where one would call the other, he usually brought over weed or beer, she would get a movie after work, and then they would proceed to not watch it. Sometimes he would spend the night, but usually not. Recently however, she met a guy she really likes, so she called off the casual stuff when her recent came into the picture and is focusing on a relationship. Something else that getting laid regularly (without psychological BS) seems to do for both of us, is generate a sense of confidence and attractiveness. People tend to gravitate toward others who have confidence and attractiveness. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 11:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
I didn't question your sexuality, rather its a observation of the way of constantly speak about the flaws of women or how horrible women are yet you give off the vibe even on a online forum ,that I would even go as far as say you hate women. Your one guy barely breaking 21 and your saying your opinion encompasses the entire opinion of every single heterosexual male between the age of 20-30. Why should my opinion be any less valid based on my experience dating as a woman within her age range or lazycrow's experience. There's two sides to the issue.
um i just didnt appreciate my input being ignored completely and you saying "finally someone with logic". i am not trying to invalidate your experience at all, you were invalidating mine. i was simply saying as a heterosexual man i have the upperhand in this discussion , because i have a mans brain, thus i would have a better idea of what men think. plus you have to remember that men are typically more honest and open around their bros, like you women are around your girlfriends. i'm just reporting how i think and what other men have told me. but as a disclaimer i havet talked,to all the men in the world, so there are undoubtedly alot of guys in the world who do want an exerienced woman, im simply being honest when i say i havent met that guy yet.IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 2739
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 11:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ail221:
[b] I didn't question your sexuality, rather its a observation of the way of constantly speak about the flaws of women or how horrible women are yet you give off the vibe even on a online forum ,that I would even go as far as say you hate women. Your one guy barely breaking 21 and your saying your opinion encompasses the entire opinion of every single heterosexual male between the age of 20-30. Why should my opinion be any less valid based on my experience dating as a woman within her age range or lazycrow's experience. There's two sides to the issue.
um i just didnt appreciate my input being ignored completely and you saying "finally someone with logic". i am not trying to invalidate your experience at all, you were invalidating mine. i was simply saying as a heterosexual man i have the upperhand in this discussion , because i have a mans brain, thus i would have a better idea of what men think. plus you have to remember that men are typically more honest and open around their bros, like you women are around your girlfriends. i'm just reporting how i think and what other men have told me. but as a disclaimer i havet talked,to all the men in the world, so there are undoubtedly alot of guys in the world who do want an exerienced woman, im simply being honest when i say i havent met that guy yet.[/B][/QUOTE] Actually what I said was "Finally another rational person appears" I am only responsible for what I say not what you understand. What I stated wasn't directed at you but at the general self-deprecating things Hanna was stating, if you think that was directed at you aww well taken out of context. You think you understand what women think? you don't because your not a woman. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 07, 2013 11:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Actually what I said was "Finally another rational person appears" I am only responsible for what I say not what you understand. What I stated wasn't directed at you but at the general self-deprecating things Hanna was stating, if you think that was directed at you aww well taken out of context. You think you understand what women think? you don't because your not a woman.
haha i'm not denying that. i'm only gonna say one more thing , i get really tired of women here implying or outright stating i hate women, that is simply not true. i have had mostly negative experiences with women and when i state that i am only being honest. i do get frustrated at women and they make me angry alot, that doesnt mean i hate them.. let me ask you a question: think of someone you love... have you ever gotten angry at them? your answer is undoubtedly yes, does that mean you hate them? of course not! when i state my experiences i am only being real, would you rather me lie and swallow all my feelings ? anyways ya'll can think i hate women if you want to, it doesnt make a difference to me. btw theres lots of women here who seem to harbor resentments towards men, does that mean they hate all men ? nope
IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 984
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 11:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ail221:
[b] I didn't question your sexuality, rather its a observation of the way of constantly speak about the flaws of women or how horrible women are yet you give off the vibe even on a online forum ,that I would even go as far as say you hate women. Your one guy barely breaking 21 and your saying your opinion encompasses the entire opinion of every single heterosexual male between the age of 20-30. Why should my opinion be any less valid based on my experience dating as a woman within her age range or lazycrow's experience. There's two sides to the issue.
um i just didnt appreciate my input being ignored completely and you saying "finally someone with logic". i am not trying to invalidate your experience at all, you were invalidating mine. i was simply saying as a heterosexual man i have the upperhand in this discussion , because i have a mans brain, thus i would have a better idea of what men think. plus you have to remember that men are typically more honest and open around their bros, like you women are around your girlfriends. i'm just reporting how i think and what other men have told me. but as a disclaimer i havet talked,to all the men in the world, so there are undoubtedly alot of guys in the world who do want an exerienced woman, im simply being honest when i say i havent met that guy yet.[/B][/QUOTE] Meh. I still stand by what I said.
I still wouldn't even go as far as to say that "most guys prefer innocent". Unless you're referring to a certain demographic, which in this case seem to be "bros" who are barely in their 20's, then I can sort of understand...
Of course if you are thinking from a "man's side", your view is gonna be overly biased. And apparently "more valid". -_- I'm only speaking from experience, and I'm not even really gender-biased here. IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 9230
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 07, 2013 11:58 PM
I don't do locker room talk and never did. Most guys are not on my level and only want to here stories. Who I fuk is my business.Sags with Venus in Scorpio are great teachers IMO. Hell Xiiro might have that if I remembered right! IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 984
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted January 08, 2013 12:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
AW. I know you do, and I really appreciate your kind words! Everyone's really. I try hard to have confidence but it falters in some areas :smile: I actually read a lot of books on the law of attraction (not just to help me but the wisdom they impart is interesting). I know it doesn't mean I won't be alone, and I do attract guys. I just worry, about everything.
No problem, and understood. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 08, 2013 12:11 AM
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
I don't do locker room talk and never did. Most guys are not on my level and only want to here stories. Who I fuk is my business.Sags with Venus in Scorpio are great teachers IMO. Hell Xiiro might have that if I remembered right!
what level are you on? i made it to level 100 on pacman once. IP: Logged |
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