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Author Topic:   Can't fall in love
YoursTrulyAlways
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posted January 09, 2013 07:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Isn't that settling?

Indeed. On the other hand, I can keep hoping for the charisma of Angelina Jolie, the appearances of Catherine Zeta Jones, the talent of Adele, the heroism of Wonder Woman, the body of Barbie the Doll, the bedroom flair of Peaches the Porno Queen and the wealth of Paris Hilton. And I can pray and pray and wish and hope all I want for the rest of my life.... And where does that get me??

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aquaguy91
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posted January 09, 2013 07:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Indeed. On the other hand, I can keep hoping for the charisma of Angelina Jolie, the appearances of Catherine Zeta Jones, the talent of Adele, the heroism of Wonder Woman, the body of Barbie the Doll, the bedroom flair of Peaches the Porno Queen and the wealth of Paris Hilton. And I can pray and pray and wish and hope all I want for the rest of my life.... And where does that get me??

i agree %100 , nobody is ever gonna match all of our criteria for a perfect man/woman, so we all have to settle somewhat lol.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 09, 2013 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Indeed. On the other hand, I can keep hoping for the charisma of Angelina Jolie, the appearances of Catherine Zeta Jones, the talent of Adele, the heroism of Wonder Woman, the body of Barbie the Doll, the bedroom flair of Peaches the Porno Queen and the wealth of Paris Hilton. And I can pray and pray and wish and hope all I want for the rest of my life.... And where does that get me??

Yeah but I don't hope for that. I definitely don't have the body to have the right to be asking for the star quarterback, and I get it. I get "stay in my league" but if that's the case then I'm not settling. There's no reason I don't deserve the best vs. just taking the first person who loves me, lol.

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Faith
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posted January 09, 2013 09:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The guys you love, or are infatuated with...does your interest last a long time? Like maybe you will eventually date one of these guys you are interested in, it's just taking longer?

The guy I thought was the cutest boy I had ever laid eyes on in 9th grade...asked me out in 12th grade. Good thing I stayed interested! LOL And I was always like that when I was single, maybe that's my Venus trine Saturn.

But I can understand if people actually want results faster, too, and will walk away if they're still hearing crickets after a few months of trying to get someone interested.

Sorry though to keep talking about it if you are bored of boys.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 09, 2013 09:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
The guys you love, or are infatuated with...does your interest last a long time? Like maybe you will eventually date one of these guys you are interested in, it's just taking longer?

The guy I thought was the cutest boy I had ever laid eyes on in 9th grade...asked me out in 12th grade. Good thing I stayed interested! LOL And I was always like that when I was single, maybe that's my Venus trine Saturn.

But I can understand if people actually want results faster, too, and will walk away if they're still hearing crickets after a few months of trying to get someone interested.

Sorry though to keep talking about it if you are bored of boys.


Oh no I don't mind talking about it at all. I have Gemini ASC. I love conversation lol. Aspects relating to a relationship that I have: Sun and Venus sextile Mars, Sun and Venus square Saturn (Sun and Venus are in the 11H, Mars 12H and Saturn 7H) Sun and Venus square Neptune (Neptune is also the 7H) Saturn sextile Neptune , and Uranus in the 7H as well.

To answer your question...sometimes it lasts long. I put myself on a dating site and all the men there bore me. The question asking, the getting to know one another...blech! I'm not attracted to them even though they're nice. I think I'm burnt out. I tried so HARD when I was younger to find a relationship and do what my friends were doing, to no avail that now in my mid-20's I just don't care and find myself more excited about learning and knowledge and expanding my consciousness and fulfilling my own dreams. I'm also fickle about how and what makes me feel comfortable with someone.

With Sun and Venus in Aries (Merc in Aries there too) in the 11H, I definitely expect results or some kind of proof for the effort I put into things. The time I spend getting to know someone. I think part of my problem is I'm very take charge and I don't know how to sit there and let them come to me. They take too long! I have (and go by) the mentality that men don't take that long for a woman they're interested in. Thus if they don't immediately respond, then I move on because I don't want to be another delusional girl pining for some guy who doesn't give two frogs about her. Clearly you can hear the Saturn talking!

Oh, I almost forgot: my Moon trines Saturn, Neptune, and Uranus and is in the 11H. One thing that's always been consistent about my love nature is me wanting to be friends with the guy first. To be comfortable around them. But guys only seem to put effort into being friends with girls they want to progress with. *Shrug.*

It must be nice having the Venus trine Saturn! What else does this aspect do in terms of love for you? Where are Venus and Saturn located in your chart?

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aquaguy91
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posted January 09, 2013 10:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Yeah but I don't hope for that. I definitely don't have the body to have the right to be asking for the star quarterback, and I get it. I get "stay in my league" but if that's the case then I'm not settling. There's no reason I don't deserve the best vs. just taking the first person who loves me, lol.

well i can understand that, but if it gets to the point where no men are ever good enough you have a problem. my mom is in her 50s and always complains about being lonely and how no man loves her.the thing is she has had several great guys within the last year who have loved her, but she found flaws in all of them and decided to give them the boot. i personally think my mom has some commitment issues because the only men she falls for are the kind of guys who will never ever commit. you kind of reminded me of her because you said something about fire signs liking the chase and the mystery, that sounds alot like her, she has an aries moon.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 09, 2013 11:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
well i can understand that, but if it gets to the point where no men are ever good enough you have a problem. my mom is in her 50s and always complains about being lonely and how no man loves her.the thing is she has had several great guys within the last year who have loved her, but she found flaws in all of them and decided to give them the boot. i personally think my mom has some commitment issues because the only men she falls for are the kind of guys who will never ever commit. you kind of reminded me of her because you said something about fire signs liking the chase and the mystery, that sounds alot like her, she has an aries moon.

Vedically, so do I.

I wonder if Fire moons are in love with romance and the feeling of being swept up, and they grow dependent on that exhilaration?

There are guys out there who I think are good enough for me, but they are confusing, fickle individuals. Or they're unavailable. Or downright not attracted to me. To have one of them I will have to learn to take the good with the bad next time. What I look forward to is seeing how the good and bad evolve compared to my own spiritual, and emotional growth. I tend to especially attract mirrors of myself and therefore measure my evolution based on that.

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Faith
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posted January 09, 2013 11:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks hanna...I can see where you are coming from, I think. I mean given your placements it makes sense that you would want the friendship first, but maybe with some signs right up front that he likes you. Flirtatious friends.

Online dating does sound boring. Then again my brother met his wife through eharmony and they are really cute together.

hmmm do you think having 12H Mars ruling your Aries planets makes your signals kind of difficult for men to pick up on, maybe?

I'm sorry if that was already covered on this thread, I can't remember.

My 4H Venus trine 12H Saturn is good i guess?

I think I had a "successful" dating life when I was younger but not really, because it took me FOREVER to get over some of those guys. So that is the down side I experienced, of being able to find strong relationships. They ended but Saturn-Venus failed to register the fact.

I think it's great to hold out for someone who is really worth it. That's wise...even if the process can be frustrating, it is better than settling, IMO.

G'night people.


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hannaramaa
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posted January 10, 2013 02:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
Thanks hanna...I can see where you are coming from, I think. I mean given your placements it makes sense that you would want the friendship first, but maybe with some signs right up front that he likes you. Flirtatious friends.

YES exactly! Plus, dating shouldn't be a chore like this. There's probably a couple things I need to work on in myself and when I get those kinks hammered out, it'll be smooth sailing.

quote:
Online dating does sound boring. Then again my brother met his wife through eharmony and they are really cute together.

I've wondered, but I thought that was for 30+ up crowd. eHarmony told me I was part of the "unique" 1% who couldn't be matched after I took their free personality test, LOL.

quote:
hmmm do you think having 12H Mars ruling your Aries planets makes your signals kind of difficult for men to pick up on, maybe?

I'm sorry if that was already covered on this thread, I can't remember.


It hasn't been, so you're good! And quite possibly! You know I did mention a long time ago on Yahoo! Answers that I thought Mars in the 12th would make it hard for the individual to pick up flirting signals. I never considered the 'output' side of it.

quote:
My 4H Venus trine 12H Saturn is good i guess?

I think I had a "successful" dating life when I was younger but not really, because it took me FOREVER to get over some of those guys. So that is the down side I experienced, of being able to find strong relationships. They ended but Saturn-Venus failed to register the fact.

I think it's great to hold out for someone who is really worth it. That's wise...even if the process can be frustrating, it is better than settling, IMO.

G'night people.

[/B]


Well, a trine is better than a square although I'm not sure what the difference is since I experienced the same thing you did.

Thanks for talking with me Faith, and Xiiro, and AquaGuy and YoursTruly, and SwiftFreeze. I was having a moment when I posted this and you've all made a difference in my perspective. I appreciate it.

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Faith
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posted January 10, 2013 08:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You're really nice hanna...it's a pleasure talking with you, too.

'Glad you posted this thread, it's been a great read for me as well.

Good luck!

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted January 10, 2013 08:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hanna,

I don't know if you noticed, but I play way out of my league. I'm not talking about the first person that walks by. I'm not even talking about "settling." Forget about your body. It is not relevant. I'm sure you are gorgeous.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 10, 2013 04:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Hanna,

I don't know if you noticed, but I play way out of my league. I'm not talking about the first person that walks by. I'm not even talking about "settling." Forget about your body. It is not relevant. I'm sure you are gorgeous.


But...I've always been under the impression that a man's status (socially, professionally, or both) will have more influence on a girl, than a girl's status or intelligence would on a guy. I look at it as like I pretty much have it all except the body, which is one of a guy's (that I would be attracted to) top requirements. To which I'm expecting an answer of "So get the body." To which I would say: touche!

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aquaguy91
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posted January 10, 2013 05:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
But...I've always been under the impression that a man's status (socially, professionally, or both) will have more influence on a girl, than a girl's status or intelligence would on a guy. I look at it as like I pretty much have it all except the body, which is one of a guy's (that I would be attracted to) top requirements. To which I'm expecting an answer of "So get the body." To which I would say: touche!

i can sort of sympathize with you here. i'm a husky guy( like 30 pounds
overweight) and i think i get rejected alot
because of this. alot of women, .especially in my age group like the metrosexual skateboarder look, you
know the guys who wear womens pants
and weigh 120 soaking wet?anyways here recently i was blown off by a fat chick ( she like 8 inches shorter then me and prolly weighed pretty dang close to what i weight at 6'4) . this kind of ticked me off because im not picky at all really dont care much about looks, i look more at personality. and i was telling my friend
about it and his girlfriend overheard and she had some advice for me lol. she is the typical sag and is very blunt , she blurted out: "dusty , you are a good looking guy, but you are slightly overweight, i bet if you lost that extra weight and added some more muscle you would have the girls crawling all over ya. you have a cute face and you have the natural build women like(tall,broadshoulders etc.) your weight is your only issue." i know she meant
well but her advice didnt make me feel
better, all i could hear was"you must be
perfect and look your best to get an
extremly overweight girl." sorry to be
frank, but f*ck that! if im already
goodlooking in the face and have the
natural build that women like i should be
good enough for an overweight girl,
especially if she is bigger then me lol. if
i'm going to put in alot of hours in the
gym getting ripped i think im entitled to
be a little picky since women are so
d*mn picky these days...btw i fully plan
to follow my friends girlfriends advice,
i'm just gonna be picky like the rest of the people my age.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 10, 2013 05:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

i can sort of sympathize with you here. i'm a husky guy( like 30 pounds overweight) and i think i get rejected alot because of this. alot of women, .especially in my age group like the metrosexual skateboarder look, you
know the guys who wear womens pants and weigh 120 soaking wet? anyways here recently i was blown off by a fat chick ( she like 8 inches shorter then me and prolly weighed pretty dang close to what i weight at 6'4) . this kind of ticked me off because im not picky at all really dont care much about looks, i look more at personality. and i was telling my friend about it and his girlfriend overheard and she had some advice for me lol. she is the typical sag and is very blunt , she blurted out: "dusty , you are a good looking guy, but you are slightly overweight, i bet if you lost that extra weight and added some more muscle you would have the girls crawling all over ya. you have a cute face and you have the natural build women like (tall,broadshoulders etc.) your weight is your only issue." i know she meant well but her advice didnt make me feel better, all i could hear was"you must be perfect and look your best to get an extremly overweight girl." sorry to be frank, but f*ck that! if im already goodlooking in the face and have the natural build that women like i should be good enough for an overweight girl, especially if she is bigger then me lol. if
i'm going to put in alot of hours in the gym getting ripped i think im entitled to be a little picky since women are so d*mn picky these days...btw i fully plan
to follow my friends girlfriends advice, i'm just gonna be picky like the rest of the people my age.


I'm sorry, you lost me at "fat chick" because I happen to be one of those.

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aquaguy91
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posted January 10, 2013 05:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I'm sorry, you lost me at "fat chick" because I happen to be one of those.

as i said im overweight myself , but apparently im not good enough for a girl bigger then me, apparently i need to be thin and jacked lol.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 10, 2013 06:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
as i said im overweight myself , but apparently im not good enough for a girl bigger then me, apparently i need to be thin and jacked lol.

Can I see your chart? You complain about women a lot, just like everyone says. I mean a lot. And I never hear you taking responsibility for any of the mishaps.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted January 10, 2013 06:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
But...I've always been under the impression that a man's status (socially, professionally, or both) will have more influence on a girl, than a girl's status or intelligence would on a guy. I look at it as like I pretty much have it all except the body, which is one of a guy's (that I would be attracted to) top requirements. To which I'm expecting an answer of "So get the body." To which I would say: touche!

Hanna,

You're making assumptions based on stereotypes. I certainly looked for intelligence, accomplishment and financial sense (in addition to wealth) before I went for looks. My wife didn't have the wealth but had the looks. My immediate ex girlfriend had massive wealth but lacked the charm. Another lacked the looks but had the brains. She became a neuro surgeon. See? I made compromises. But what was common in all my girlfriends was brains. My wife has a masters degree. My other ex girlfriends had MDs or PhDs or law degrees.

I am overweight myself. Have been all my life, vegan though I am fit. I would absolutely love an overweight girl myself. Don't be hung up on your body.

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aquaguy91
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posted January 10, 2013 06:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Can I see your chart? You complain about women a lot, just like everyone says. I mean a lot. And I never hear you taking responsibility for any of the mishaps.

well after this little mishap and my friends girlfriends advice i'm starting to really see that it is my fault. before i fell for all the lies, like people care more about personality, confidence lol. but i have been watching people and its really very simple,most people are extremely shallow and expect near perfection... and its my fault i dont quiet measure up, but i plan to change that. sorry for coming off as a dick but that experience really ticked me off, how would you feel if a guy bigger then you turned you down because of your weight? as i said i am overweight myself and i have no problems dating overweight girls , but apparently im not good enough . and i'm just being completely honest when i say it ticks me off when i hear overweight girls say they prefer or only date
skinny guys, i see it alot. its the same with other overweight guys , it ticks me off when they expect a barbie doll. the way i see it i'm not shallow and am open minded about who i would date ,and it ticks me off how everyone has a checklist a mile long of wat they demand from a potential suitor

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T
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posted January 10, 2013 06:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You might find things get better in the romance department as you get older and people gain more experience and pay less attention to looks, body shape etc. Just try not to be so negative and become bitter before then, because then you'll only set yourself up to find those "flaws" in the opposite sex no matter what.

Youre at an age where looks matter big time. Try to hang in there and not become too jaded too soon.

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T
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posted January 10, 2013 06:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
So I have no idea if I'll be capable of just simply falling in love with someone. Most of my relationship experience has been one-sided or short-term, or really dysfunctional. I know no relationship is perfect but I envy the trust and comfort some couples have together. I don't know how to have that with a guy although I have strong friendships with women. I feel like I'll be by myself and sexless forever.

Venus square Saturn sucks.


When you feel like this, it's a perfect time to just focus on yourself and your life. It's not always necessary or the best time to have a partner in your life. Be the best person you can be and they type of person you would like to date. Things will fall into place natrually if you can be comfortable and happy with yourself. Try not to worry about having a partner or not. There's too much in life to enjoy and when it's best to share your life with someone, they WILL show up. Just wait and see. Maybe focus more on you now?

Best wishes.

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T
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posted January 10, 2013 06:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Noticing and focussing on what you "don't have" only reinforces that in your life. Look at the love you have around you now and relax and know that you won't be alone forever. Focus on what's good and you will bring more of that and then some in.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 10, 2013 07:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Edit, double post.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 10, 2013 07:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
well after this little mishap and my friends girlfriends advice i'm starting to really see that it is my fault. before i fell for all the lies, like people care more about personality, confidence lol. but i have been watching people and its really very simple,most people are extremely shallow and expect near perfection... and its my fault i dont quiet measure up, but i plan to change that. sorry for coming off as a dick but that experience really ticked me off, how would you feel if a guy bigger then you turned you down because of your weight? as i said i am overweight myself and i have no problems dating overweight girls , but apparently im not good enough . and i'm just being completely honest when i say it ticks me off when i hear overweight girls say they prefer or only date
skinny guys, i see it alot. its the same with other overweight guys , it ticks me off when they expect a barbie doll. the way i see it i'm not shallow and am open minded about who i would date ,and it ticks me off how everyone has a checklist a mile long of wat they demand from a potential suitor

Right, but the mishap isn't in how you look, man! It's your attitude. How do you KNOW it's because of your weight? As if because we're more generously sized nothing else could be a turn-off for someone.

I've been in your shoes before, thinking that way and sometimes yes it is because of my weight that guys don't like me, and sometimes it's JUST because of that. But I don't care about them LOL. I don't care if they like me or not because they're not apart of my life, they don't pay my bills, they don't see how awesome I am aside from my one flaw. And if they don't like how I look on the outside - something changeable, then how would they deal with my other quirks? Not very well.

It's your thinking, dude. Change your thinking. Read some law of attraction books. Read up on spirituality and philosophy. It will be sure to change your perspective on life and the way you view things. You may even become enlightened and have different standards for yourself which will then affect the type of people you attract. You attract people who mirror you, I'm telling you! It doesn't even have to do with astrology at that point, it's just a fact of life.

Think about it. You were sacrificing something you wanted in a partner by agreeing to go on a date with this bigger girl, right? Was that genuine? No. It's not what you REALLY wanted. So you got the same amount of disinterest in return when she ditched you. You didn't KNOW that's how you'd be repaid but that's what happens. It's like that.

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aquaguy91
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posted January 10, 2013 07:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Right, but the mishap isn't in how you look, man! It's your attitude. How do you KNOW it's because of your weight? As if because we're more generously sized nothing else could be a turn-off for someone.

I've been in your shoes before, thinking that way and sometimes yes it is because of my weight that guys don't like me, and sometimes it's JUST because of that. But I don't care about them LOL. I don't care if they like me or not because they're not apart of my life, they don't pay my bills, they don't see how awesome I am aside from my one flaw. And if they don't like how I look on the outside - something changeable, then how would they deal with my other quirks? Not very well.

It's your thinking, dude. Change your thinking. Read some law of attraction books. Read up on spirituality and philosophy. It will be sure to change your perspective on life and the way you view things. You may even become enlightened and have different standards for yourself which will then affect the type of people you attract. You attract people who mirror you, I'm telling you! It doesn't even have to do with astrology at that point, it's just a fact of life.

Think about it. You were sacrificing something you wanted in a partner by agreeing to go on a date with this bigger girl, right? Was that genuine? No. It's not what you REALLY wanted. So you got the same amount of disinterest in return when she ditched you. You didn't KNOW that's how you'd be repaid but that's what happens. It's like that.


no its not like that lol, i honestly dont care about a girls weight at all. but suffice it to say, it is still an ego crusher to be turned down by someone who has the same flaw as you lol. it doesnt mean you werent perfectly fine with them, but it still stings none the less. also i know i **** people off here because i dont buy all the pop positivity crap and the law of attraction/confidence stuff. my experience has showed me time and time again that confidence comes from my outward successes, not from within (maybe its my sun conjunct saturn in the 12th). here are some examples, i felt confident when: i make/made good grades, performed well in basketball/football/soccer,get complimented on a good job at work, or when i have had some limited success in dating. most of the time i approach things in life with a 50/50 mentality, meaning i recognize that it could work out or fail, i try to have a positive attitude but i wouldnt call myself confident. i feel that most of the time attitudes are the result of your enviroment, naturally someone who has lots of success in an area is confident in that area, but a person who is not successful is not as confident, thats just the way it is. its like my brother, he used to be shy and lacked confidence around women but women pursued him and complimented him and told him how the sun and moon shined out of his a**, so its not hard to see why he is confident now. what is really funny is how he gets all condescending with me and tells me how my attitude sucks and i just need to become confident in the dating department,i guess all that confidence is supposed to come from thin air. but his advice goes in one ear and out the other because i witnessed for myself how shy and insecure he used to be but women coached him into confidence, apparently confidence is not a prerequisite or it wasnt for them. and in my case its not that i'm even shy , i can talk to women. i just have a very cynical attitude a result of my experiences.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 10, 2013 07:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Aqua - I can feel myself getting sucked into trying to coach you out of the way you think, and I refuse. I don't really care if you have weight standards for women (as in I'm not offended by it) but generally when guys honestly don't have a problem with a girl's weight, they don't refer to her as "fat chick." Just sayin'.

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