posted September 18, 2013 02:55 PM            

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000441.html

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000121.html

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000053.html

posted September 18, 2013 03:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by geea:
are you sure your bf”s dad isnt giving you any troubles again ?

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lool no. i mentioned that one time but i didnt mention it again

posted September 18, 2013 03:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Its all a matter of how you choose to look at it.On a biological level its perfectly natural for an older man to be attracted to teenage girls because they are ready for sex/to reproduce. A 100 years ago or so people wouldn't even blink if a 12 or 13 year old girl was married and pregnant by 30 or 40 year old man but suddenly a 20 year old man who dates a 16 year old girl is a dangerous pervert who needs to be locked up. What changed? Men and womens maturity levels at different ages? No... perceptions are the only thing that changed.

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👍👍👍 I agree with you there one thousand percent!

posted September 18, 2013 03:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
I wasn't at trying to be a ***** to anyone and if I was then I greatly apologize its not at all what I intended

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That's cool xxx

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted September 18, 2013 04:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
15 year olds should be concentrating in school, not canoodling with 20 somethings.....

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Canoodling LOL

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted September 18, 2013 05:22 PM            

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Swift Freeze: My point was that numerically they are the same. When people say, "Wow 8 years is a pretty big gap!" They are not always, if ever, talking about age. They are talking about something intangible and indeterminant.

I'll try BOOTS and make it more interesting for HEIGHT you by inserting a few key words DRUNK subtly into paragraphs, that I know you'll enjoy.

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LOL! Am I...am I being yelled at? Scolded? I don't know whether to be flattered or not. This attack is personalised, tailored. Well, regardless, you are such a yummy person for it.

Any ways, I was trying to say that the age gap seems much more vast when it's between younger ages. This is because a single year of your life becomes less and less important as you continue to obtain them. What is one year to a 90 year old? It's one thing of ninety. What is one year to a 5 year old? It's one whole fifth of their life.

Years are not building blocks, all equal, but rather fractions of your life, growing smaller and smaller as you obtain more.

SOOOO to wonder why 17 and 25 seems so big and unethical when compared to 27 and 35 is easily explained. Muah!

posted September 18, 2013 05:24 PM            

Furthermore, the kids back then were woven into adult society (as opposed to segregated and insulated in bubbles as they are today) so of course they matured faster (for better and worse) and it was therefore easier then than today for a kid (by today's standards) to interact and relate to an adult as they lived and worked in the same world with the same concerns unlike today.

posted September 18, 2013 06:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Life was radically different back when it was normal for a 11-year-old to marry her 30-year-old cousin. Girls had no future back then so it didn't matter (and even helped society at the expense of the girls) to marry them off ASAP, especially if the girls were just more mouths to feed, worried about her keeping her virginity until marriage (as her virginity was everything back then), and if the dowry would only grow as she did.

Furthermore, the kids back then were woven into adult society (as opposed to segregated and insulated in bubbles as they are today) so of course they matured faster (for better and worse) and it was therefore easier then than today for a kid (by today's standards) to interact and relate to an adult as they lived and worked in the same world with the same concerns unlike today.

IOW, a lot more changed that just "perceptions."

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posted September 18, 2013 06:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
Too bad that you don't tell them all that.
It could really help some people.
Example:
I was literally rescued by a fellow who did just that! Said those wise things to me.

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If I think they are willing, capable, and ready to hear something like that. I do tell them. I've done it in the past, and once or twice it has alienated our friendship, which I found pretty disheartening.

I'm sorry for the confusion, I meant I was sorry that you felt like you screwed up your life at that age. The things I've read that you've posted, you seem like a really strong well centered person.

I guess it is a very difficult boundary and is deeply subjective for each individual. Would I want to prevent a 17 year old from possibly having a fulfilling and personal growth expanding relationship with someone is is 21, 22, 23? No I wouldn't want to. Equally if that was my Daughter, my protective instincts would kick in, and if she even so much whispered to me that she felt uncomfortable with him, he would regret the day he was born. And yes, I can completely see how I have applied two different decisions to the same scenario simply because I have a much stronger emotional attachment to my fictional daughter than the fictional 17 year old. It's not rational, it's not logical, and I know the parents out there would probably mostly feel the same way.

I do not think there is a conclusive answer to this question. I think it is a little odd for a 25 year old to be seeking or pursuing a relationship with a 17 year old, but I will do my best to hold off on judging them, as hard as that may be.

posted September 18, 2013 09:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Life was radically different back when it was normal for a 11-year-old to marry her 30-year-old cousin. Girls had no future back then so it didn't matter (and even helped society at the expense of the girls) to marry them off ASAP, especially if the girls were just more mouths to feed, worried about her keeping her virginity until marriage (as her virginity was everything back then), and if the dowry would only grow as she did.

Furthermore, the kids back then were woven into adult society (as opposed to segregated and insulated in bubbles as they are today) so of course they matured faster (for better and worse) and it was therefore easier then than today for a kid (by today's standards) to interact and relate to an adult as they lived and worked in the same world with the same concerns unlike today.

IOW, a lot more changed that just "perceptions."

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posted September 18, 2013 10:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Yes they were extremely mature back then but so are we

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Generally speaking, kids are not mature today.

To be clear by maturity I mean the ability to take care of one's self (not limited to waking up when your clock goes off but everything adults do, like put a roof over their head and advance in the world), and that especially means impulse control and accountability. I'm thinking of like a 14-year-old who was a voting member of a mining town who put a roof over his own head and took care of business on his own (chores, cooking, etc, all of which was harder back then) and teenagers who were decorated officers in their nation's military. In the ancient world many teens composed the majority of the army and raiders (at least in the field) and that sometimes included women.

And just to be absolutely clear in case anyone has a different understand I will add that maturity does NOT mean either mindless obedience (and following the simple rules any 10-year-old can) or knee jerk (just as mindless) rebellion, having sex or dressing provocative, outgrowing fart jokes, or knowing things that the adults try to keep kids from finding out.

But how can kids be mature today? Their lives are too carefully structured with too little expected of them (and thus taken care of more than just making sure they take care of themselves) so they don't have a chance to mature. Keep a person in that environment until they're 40 and they'd be just as immature because maturity is something the brain develops as it practices it over years, not something that magically happens at an arbitrary age.

I've seen it among kids forced to take care of themselves on the streets or the sad ones forced to be the adult for their dysfunctional parents, but they learn to take care of themselves (and gain a lot of common sense) in a way many of their peers would never dream. And that's even more true of many who aren't sent to school and interact with adults much like an adult rather than with almost strictly their own peers (adults with authority over them don't count, or shouldn't). My homeschooling and unschooling group usually hated it when kids from public school joined us because they couldn't focus, tended to hold academics in contempt (though most were there for extra credit, that is to pass their class), and got bored way too easy.

Another example is a girl I knew who was homeschooled and was unusually mature as a result (not because of what home schooling did for her, but because she was spared what public and private schooling does, which is put kids in a bubble that prevents them from growing up) and after her mom moved she was put into a public school where she was shocked that she even had to ask permission to go to the bathroom (and it could be denied!). She knit as a hobby but the parent of one of the kids in her pre-calculus class called to complain saying she feared for the safety of other kids and the zero tolerance policy got her, though the principal was understanding and said if that was the least thing she ever got in trouble for then congratulations. However, within a month she sympathize with the school being run like a prison because the kids were extremely immature and she didn't even trust them with pencils and scissors (both for being idiots without any common sense and for lacking impulse control). However, the school being so controlling (with the helicopter parents like the one who reported her for having knitting needles at school) were why the kids needed to be treated as potentially dangerous morons because they were never allowed to develop enough maturity and common sense that kids generations ago (or those raised outside that environment today) would've.

In contrast kids in my hometown back when my granny was a kid sometimes carried guns to school (wild dogs and hogs) and no one thought anything of it. Many were expected to do the chores without being told to and did and that helped create maturity (that is self-discipline and self-reliance), too. In short they were treated somewhat like adults (obligations imposed but time not as structured) and they matured faster. In my family kids (especially in previous generations) had to learn to forage as well as fish and work the farm, too.

posted September 18, 2013 10:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
My papaw was in his 20s when he married my nana who was 15 at the time, that was sometime in the late 50s. So why were they able to successfully raise 3 kids and live a good life and have a lasting marriage until he died in 2000? People today would view a 20 something year old with a 15 year old as sick and damaging to the 15 year old. Why wasn't my nana damaged?

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posted September 18, 2013 10:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Generally speaking, kids are not mature today.

To be clear by maturity I mean the ability to take care of one's self (not limited to waking up when your clock goes off but everything adults do, like put a roof over their head and advance in the world), and that especially means impulse control and accountability. I'm thinking of like a 14-year-old who was a voting member of a mining town who put a roof over his own head and took care of business on his own (chores, cooking, etc, all of which was harder back then) and teenagers who were decorated officers in their nation's military. In the ancient world many teens composed the majority of the army and raiders (at least in the field) and that sometimes included women.

And just to be absolutely clear in case anyone has a different understand I will add that maturity does NOT mean either mindless obedience (and following the simple rules any 10-year-old can) or knee jerk (just as mindless) rebellion, having sex or dressing provocative, outgrowing fart jokes, or knowing things that the adults try to keep kids from finding out.

But how can kids be mature today? Their lives are too carefully structured with too little expected of them (and thus taken care of more than just making sure they take care of themselves) so they don't have a chance to mature. Keep a person in that environment until they're 40 and they'd be just as immature because maturity is something the brain develops as it practices it over years, not something that magically happens at an arbitrary age.

I've seen it among kids forced to take care of themselves on the streets or the sad ones forced to be the adult for their dysfunctional parents, but they learn to take care of themselves (and gain a lot of common sense) in a way many of their peers would never dream. And that's even more true of many who aren't sent to school and interact with adults much like an adult rather than with almost strictly their own peers (adults with authority over them don't count, or shouldn't). My homeschooling and unschooling group usually hated it when kids from public school joined us because they couldn't focus, tended to hold academics in contempt (though most were there for extra credit, that is to pass their class), and got bored way too easy.

Another example is a girl I knew who was homeschooled and was unusually mature as a result (not because of what home schooling did for her, but because she was spared what public and private schooling does, which is put kids in a bubble that prevents them from growing up) and after her mom moved she was put into a public school where she was shocked that she even had to ask permission to go to the bathroom (and it could be denied!). She knit as a hobby but the parent of one of the kids in her pre-calculus class called to complain saying she feared for the safety of other kids and the zero tolerance policy got her, though the principal was understanding and said if that was the least thing she ever got in trouble for then congratulations. However, within a month she sympathize with the school being run like a prison because the kids were extremely immature and she didn't even trust them with pencils and scissors (both for being idiots without any common sense and for lacking impulse control). However, the school being so controlling (with the helicopter parents like the one who reported her for having knitting needles at school) were why the kids needed to be treated as potentially dangerous morons because they were never allowed to develop enough maturity and common sense that kids generations ago (or those raised outside that environment today) would've.

In contrast kids in my hometown back when my granny was a kid sometimes carried guns to school (wild dogs and hogs) and no one thought anything of it. Many were expected to do the chores without being told to and did and that helped create maturity (that is self-discipline and self-reliance), too. In short they were treated somewhat like adults (obligations imposed but time not as structured) and they matured faster. In my family kids (especially in previous generations) had to learn to forage as well as fish and work the farm, too.

That said, kids today tend to be far more educated in academic matters, though schools (or more accurately political interest groups that pressure and even join school boards or have authority over them and sometimes even parents) tend to try to keep kids ignorant on many matters, such as turning history into a sanitized boring sludge that is useless to anyone (as textbook companies want to sell as many as they can so avoid offending as many as they can while promoting patriotism) and then there's the abysmal "sex ed" (and btw, many if not most teens know a lot less about sex than they think, even if they're having it).

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posted September 18, 2013 10:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Before you cut out what I said you would have read that I said there are few for every many sweetheart

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There was no way in hell I'm reading or read any of what you said. My opinion is my opinion just like yours is and just like AGs is his. I really wish Randall would close this topic

posted September 18, 2013 10:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
There was no way in hell I'm reading or read any of what you said. My opinion is my opinion just like yours is and just like AGs is his. I really wish Randall would close this topic

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posted September 18, 2013 10:48 PM            

but Seriously , have you seen 15 year old these days, they look like 9 year olds now.. I remember when I was in 12th grade I took the school bus home one time and sat with these freshman and they looked and behaved like children... or maybe they were middle schoolers..?

posted September 18, 2013 10:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I gave my reasons. But again I was speaking GENERALLY. There are always exceptions. I've met some 13-year-olds who are smarter, more mature, and more knowledgeable than even people who get elected to public office, but I consider them the exception to the rule. And as for the rest I don't see it as their fault, I wish kids were treated a lot better, then they'd be better (more often than not).

The good news is anyone that age who is immature has a chance to grow out of it. Someone my age is probably stuck that way.

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posted September 18, 2013 11:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I gave my reasons. But again I was speaking GENERALLY. There are always exceptions. I've met some 13-year-olds who are smarter, more mature, and more knowledgeable than even people who get elected to public office, but I consider them the exception to the rule. And as for the rest I don't see it as their fault, I wish kids were treated a lot better, then they'd be better (more often than not).

The good news is anyone that age who is immature has a chance to grow out of it. Someone my age is probably stuck that way.

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posted September 18, 2013 11:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
If I think they are willing, capable, and ready to hear something like that. I do tell them. I've done it in the past, and once or twice it has alienated our friendship, which I found pretty disheartening.

I'm sorry for the confusion, I meant I was sorry that you felt like you screwed up your life at that age. The things I've read that you've posted, you seem like a really strong well centered person.

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