posted June 05, 2014 11:14 PM            

Indeed that does mean the "equality!we are all alike' line of thinking is discarded, it should be.

The problem(s) lay in several layers, for example there are things that are GENERALLY applicable, say six pack abs on a man or ambition or humor or social IQ.

When it boils down to a specific moment, those may not be the qualites desired atm making the generalities non operative..and leaving the single man who took the original advice bitter and very confused.

This is one of the things that the Douchy "Bad Boy' understands, this one may not, that one may be looking for what I'm selling

posted June 05, 2014 11:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
[b]Aw, you're still fancy.

Aww Thank you, Violet. You made my night and you are fancy, too

[/B]

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Let's be fancy together!

posted June 05, 2014 11:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
One of the worst bits of advice for a single man to take is dating advice from women.

Indeed that does mean the "equality!we are all alike' line of thinking is discarded, it should be.

The problem(s) lay in several layers, for example there are things that are GENERALLY applicable, say six pack abs on a man or ambition or humor or social IQ.

When it boils down to a specific moment, those may not be the qualites desired atm making the generalities non operative..and leaving the single man who took the original advice bitter and very confused.

This is one of the things that the Douchy "Bad Boy' understands, this one may not, that one may be looking for what I'm selling

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posted June 05, 2014 11:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
One of the worst bits of advice for a single man to take is dating advice from women.

Indeed that does mean the "equality!we are all alike' line of thinking is discarded, it should be.

The problem(s) lay in several layers, for example there are things that are GENERALLY applicable, say six pack abs on a man or ambition or humor or social IQ.

When it boils down to a specific moment, those may not be the qualites desired atm making the generalities non operative..and leaving the single man who took the original advice bitter and very confused.

This is one of the things that the Douchy "Bad Boy' understands, this one may not, that one may be looking for what I'm selling

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posted June 05, 2014 11:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Or he could, alternatively, take into consideration the honest opinions of many women, and add them all up together. But of course that's pure nonsense.

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Whoa...don't be throwing out a crazy concept like that...you might give people ideas!

posted June 05, 2014 11:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Whoa...don't be throwing out a crazy concept like that...you might give people ideas!

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Literally made me laugh out loud.

posted June 05, 2014 11:33 PM            

b/c women invariably speak for their own specific tastes and ideas of what they like in a guy/date etc and not for 'every woman'.

The guy however assumes a woman does speak for every women when it does not work the confusion begin.

Add in, men and women think differently on the subject, if a man cannot think like a woman, then a woman does not think like a man

For example it was mentioned that "..and a women will have sex with a guy hoping for relationship, when it does not happen she gets angry.."..uhm..or she just wanted a hook up and he was it, she was not looking for a relationship w/him.

posted June 05, 2014 11:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Literally made me laugh out loud.

Hey, what's your Sun etc., BF?
I suspect Sag or Aqua placements, but maybe I'm off?

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AQUA* SUN!!!!! You?

posted June 05, 2014 11:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Or he could, alternatively, take into consideration the honest opinions of many women, and add them all up together. But of course that's pure nonsense.

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Far better to take ones chances on ones own

posted June 05, 2014 11:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
AQUA* SUN!!!!! You?

*I have Cap stellium which makes me a little boring at times

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*High five!

Aqua Mercury and Dsc here, and Cappy Mars.

posted June 05, 2014 11:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Far better to take ones chances on ones own

Other thing is, men tend to disregard women's advice on the subject..which makes it all doubly humorous, as if men really listen to women to begin with..rule #1 would be watch what she does, not what she says..

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Could say the same thing for driving directions

posted June 05, 2014 11:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Far better to take ones chances on ones own

Other thing is, men tend to disregard women's advice on the subject..which makes it all doubly humorous, as if men really listen to women to begin with..rule #1 would be watch what she does, not what she says..

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Uh...the first part. Sooo...I find that point of view exceptionally unfortunate. Pity. And not true of the men that I know, but then I find that they don't tend to need advice on these matters, at least not consistently. NOT a dig at AG. I feel for ya. More to the point, I do know a few men who seek advice on these matters consistently, and they simply do not seem to get it. But I bear with them, because they're my friends.

posted June 05, 2014 11:45 PM            

Now my charges against the (un)fairer sex is knowing a guy is into them, and just playing the guy.

to be fair, usually the guy volunteers, still it is better to be cruel quickly then have false kindness over time.

Even as a guy, it is fairly easy to tell when a guy is into a girl, and she is not feeling it, yet it drags on and on in bizarre march of raised hopes/rejections..raised hopes/rejections.

If women ever wonder why a few men are very direct about their intentions, it is to dispense with that long march to nowhereville.

posted June 05, 2014 11:46 PM            

Terms morph over time ... Queer used to be disrespect, now many gay people use it comfortably.

posted June 05, 2014 11:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
To me the main prob is generalizing. With men, women or trannies...and I use that word because I first learned itfrom a good friend who was describing himself. Terms morph over time ... Queer used to be disrespect, now many gay people use it comfortably.

As long as you generalize you're not seeing Humans, whatever the category. This is AGs problem imo, at least as he comes across here.I dont think he hates women, but he's b een raised on certain rules and formulae that may have worked for whoever taught him but i suspect time has left them behind.

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I completely agree.

posted June 05, 2014 11:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Now my charges against the (un)fairer sex is knowing a guy is into them, and just playing the guy.

to be fair, usually the guy volunteers, still it is better to be cruel quickly then have false kindness over time.

Even as a guy, it is fairly easy to tell when a guy is into a girl, and she is not feeling it, yet it drags on and on in bizarre march of raised hopes/rejections..raised hopes/rejections.

If women ever wonder why a few men are very direct about their intentions, it is to dispense with that long march to nowhereville.

cannot say I blame them tbh

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I can get with that.

I really don't like to make generalizations, but I do know that I myself have probably unconsciously "ignored" the fact that a guy was into me, or not had the heart to confront him about it and say that it wasn't going to happen. When I was younger, I undoubtedly took advantage of that (minimally, I might add...no desire for money or whatever, probably just company when I needed it, and it didn't happen often).

posted June 05, 2014 11:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Uh...the first part. Sooo...I find that point of view exceptionally unfortunate. Pity. And not true of the men that I know, but then I find that they don't tend to need advice on these matters, at least not consistently. NOT a dig at AG. I feel for ya. More to the point, I do know a few men who seek advice on these matters consistently, and they simply do not seem to get it. But I bear with them, because they're my friends.

Second part...true. But that would take time, yes?

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#2 is a key point that most men miss, one does not have to be "yes m'lady' and the whole bit to get to know someone and decide if one likes them.

In fact I'd say it is better to hang back and watch, be polite, but have a bland sort of disinterest and gasp..get to know the other person over time while doing ones' own thing.

In today's text/tinder world, things rarely move that way

posted June 05, 2014 11:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Now my charges against the (un)fairer sex is knowing a guy is into them, and just playing the guy.

to be fair, usually the guy volunteers, still it is better to be cruel quickly then have false kindness over time.

Even as a guy, it is fairly easy to tell when a guy is into a girl, and she is not feeling it, yet it drags on and on in bizarre march of raised hopes/rejections..raised hopes/rejections.

If women ever wonder why a few men are very direct about their intentions, it is to dispense with that long march to nowhereville.

cannot say I blame them tbh

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Personal experiences or observations? I think that is a fair criticism, but not all women do this. In fact, some men I know play the game too. In these cases either the person really likes the attention the person gives them hence the false expectations or they simply feel guilty and are hesitant to lose the friendship by speaking up.

Regardless of gender, being direct will save everyone heartache and frustration.

posted June 05, 2014 11:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
No hermaphrodite is pretty derogatory esp since they are not

Edited my post BF. to clarify a little, while you were posting lol

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posted June 06, 2014 12:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
Sorry, I suppose I'm out of the loop. I've never even heard the term used, except with actual hermaphrodites or Greek mythology. And I do have a lot of trans-gendered (a.k.a. tranny) friends. Maybe it's just less common with the people I know, because we've all lived on Capitol Hill in Seattle for so long...? I dunno.

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posted June 06, 2014 12:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Personal experiences or observations? I think that is a fair criticism, but not all women do this. In fact, some men I know play the game too. In these cases either the person really likes the attention the person gives them hence the false expectations or they simply feel guilty and are hesitant to lose the friendship by speaking up.

Regardless of gender, being direct will save everyone heartache and frustration.

Edit: you are probably right on women doing it more often though, since women are programmed to let men take the lead and part of this social conditioning makes women believe they shouldn't be as direct or guiding if you get what I mean. Not justifying this behavior though, I hate it when people aren't direct.

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It becomes this sort of passive aggressive dance, the guy likes her, tells all of his friends this, would never come out and tell her of course.

Then, he becomes afraid to say "no" to her, no matter how much her favor may put the guy out, though he'd mention it in passing as if he were going to get a gold star from her for suffering in silence.

Then she dates other guys, and it's 'that ***** ! As nice as I was to her!",,guy never made the bold move he should have early on.

Other thing I do not understand is dressing very sexy, going out into social situations, bars clubs etc, then guys with, to be blunt, bad game, approach and it is not just a shoot down, it is a sort of mega slap down for daring to approach and daring to strike up a conversation ask to dance etc

It's a bit like running ads, then rejecting responses to that ad, b/c that is not what they were trying to do.

posted June 06, 2014 12:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Since the proper term to use is intersex, people probably don't use it as often. My friend who considers himself transexual said he heard this slur a lot, and so have his friends. It could depend on where you live or personal experiences.

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Oh...yeah... I see that you live in a very different place than I do, geographically speaking. I do take that into account with a lot of these issues.

Nope, Broadway/Capitol Hill in Seattle is not (or wasn't) a place where we would hear a lot of slurs of that sort. Now I live in the mountain outskirts of the city, but I still don't think people would think to use something like that as a slur.

posted June 06, 2014 12:20 AM            

travel and vacations, expensive vacations.