posted March 10, 2015 09:18 AM            

Do you want to know what women are REALLY looking for in a guy?

Well, it turns out the answers are a lot simpler than you may have thought.

A recent survey of over 1000 women conducted by Men’s Health found that there are four distinct characteristics that women look for in a guy – and they are NOT the traits of a ‘bad-boy’.

What these results basically showed that at the end of the day, what women really want is a guy who they can rely on to be there for them – especially when they are looking to settle down.

This may sound too simple to be true… but seriously guys, after a women has had her heart broken a couple of times or been played by a guy who is not looking to commit, the whole ‘bad-boy’ idea loses a lot of appeal.

Bear in mind that the top four character traits we are going into today shouldn’t be confused with personality traits (e.g. sense of humor) or physical attributes (e.g. height).

But the important thing to note is that the women in the survey rated character and personality traits much HIGHER than those relating to physical attractiveness…

…Meaning it was much more desirable to have a man with a great character than a really hot body!

In fact, the four traits below, which may even sound a little ‘boring’, were rated as being incredibly HOT and SEXUALLY APPEALING to women!

Bear in mind guys that even a woman’s family and friends will judge you a lot more on your character and personality than your looks.

So if you want to impress, that’s where you’ve got to put the effort in.

So let’s look at the top four character traits women crave… starting with number one:

1. Faithfulness
Out of all of the character traits, personality traits, practical skills and physical attributes included in the survey, faithfulness came out as the Number ONE trait that women are looking for in a guy – over 80% of women agreed!

The fact that women desire men who are faithful seems almost too simple – no one wants to be with someone who’s going to cheat on them, right?

But for women, there is also a strong biological reason behind this.

In historical times, a woman and her offspring had a much higher chance of surviving if she had a mate who stuck around to protect them.

Although it may seem that being faithful is as simple as not sleeping with other women, there is a bit more to it than that.

It also means to be EMOTIONALLY faithful, by not getting too close or flirtatious with other women in your life.

Worrying about whether your guy is hooking up with other women behind your back is more than most women can deal with – so don’t make her wonder.

A good way to show the woman in your life that you are a faithful guy is also to frequently reassure her of your feelings and the fact that you are not going anywhere.

Believe me – women never get sick of hearing “I love you”, “I’m all yours” or “You’re the only one I want”.

2. Dependability
Three out of four women say they look for a man who makes COMMITMENTS and follows through with them.

Being dependable is seriously a biggie guys – it shows maturity and sends a positive signal to the woman you are dating that you are the type of guy who will commit.

All it takes to be dependable is to actually DO everything that you say you will do.

Remember what you have agreed to or promised – even if it is something simple like doing the dishes. If you say you’ll be home at 7, BE home at 7!

Other evidence of a guy who is dependable is that he pays his bills on time, he looks after a pet or helps out aging family members, and he attends the social events he has committed to.

Being dependable is also about showing commitment to the relationship even when there are bumps in the road – so she doesn’t get the impression that you’re the type of guy that will only stick around for the good times.

Doing these things allows a woman to develop trust in you, which deepens her emotional connection.

And when she is feeling this way, she is much more likely to let her guard down and show her more sensual and vulnerable side.

Remember, a woman will only feel comfortable revealing her true desires and sexuality in the bedroom when she fully trusts a guy.

3. Kindness
Almost 70% of women in the survey rated kindness in the top 10 attributes they find sexy in a man.

You don’t have to be Ned Flanders to be kind. You just need to be a decent, considerate guy who is sensitive to his lady’s needs and shows concern for others.

A woman wants to know that you have a kind nature which isn’t just ‘put on’ when she’s around you.

The truth is, it will mean nothing if you are kind to HER but don’t treat her friends or family with the same consideration.

Make sure than when you are out on a date, you are always showing respect and kindness towards others, such as the waitress or cashier who serves you.

If she senses you’re a genuinely good guy, she knows that you can be counted on to treat her well – not hurt her like any player-types may have in the past.

In fact, studies have even shown that women are especially turned-on by the idea of going on a date with a guy who does some volunteer work or would go out of his way to help someone.

Why? Because it means that a guy cares about more than just himself and doesn’t only give when there is going to be self-benefit.

A kind, general and helpful guy just screams husband material!

4. Moral Integrity
Men entering the dating scene often report feeling an inability to attract women simply by being THEMSELVES.

They all want to know the rules of ‘the game’ and what they can say to impress women.

But the results of this survey clearly show that almost 70% of women are actually TURNED ON by guys who are HONEST about who they are.

The truth is, women don’t want to hear you boasting about some far-fetched achievements, or trying to act ‘cool’. They want the REAL you.

Having the guts to tell the truth (even when it doesn’t show you in the most desirable light) means to a woman that you have what it takes to be a caring, trustworthy partner over the long haul.

And isn’t that great knowing you DON’T have to go to efforts trying to be the ‘perfect guy’ (who doesn’t actually even exist)?

posted March 10, 2015 10:21 AM            

As such, you end up with all these disgruntled men and women who keep asking themselves that they have all the required qualities that these "articles" tell them they have, yet they aren't finding someone who is interested in them.

posted March 10, 2015 11:47 AM            

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posted March 10, 2015 05:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Uh-oh

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posted March 10, 2015 11:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xodian:
Yeah... No. Seriously I really wouldn't place much stock on articles such as these. The issue with articles such as these is the fact that they have a bad tendency of placing blanket statements when it comes to expectations of an entire demographic as and end up generalizing individual wants and needs.

As such, you end up with all these disgruntled men and women who keep asking themselves that they have all the required qualities that these "articles" tell them they have, yet they aren't finding someone who is interested in them.

As such, these disgruntled people then choose to take their frustrations out on the entire gender group, blaming all of them for their lack of luck.

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posted March 11, 2015 12:07 AM              

Or are you getting direct, "from the horse's mouth" information that it's really the a**hole quality that they like?

posted March 11, 2015 12:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
It's not just an article; it's an article about a survey of 2,000 women.

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I didn't find a link to the survey. I don't care what the article asserted (nor if it somehow validated or challenged my views) I'd want to know where they found those they questioned, any other factors most (or even all) shared (such as an age range as just one example), and how the survey was taken (were they given multiple choice, and if so what were the choices?). I looked but didn't see a link.

posted March 11, 2015 12:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I didn't find a link to the survey. I don't care what the article asserted (nor if it somehow validated or challenged my views) I'd want to know where they found those they questioned, any other factors most (or even all) shared (such as an age range as just one example), and how the survey was taken (were they given multiple choice, and if so what were the choices?). I looked but didn't see a link.

I'm not challenging the article, btw, and don't doubt that some sort of survey was done, but I still want to know more about the survey itself. Surveys are far from perfect even when no ulterior motive exist, and when such a motive does exist...well I just like to know about the survey. The less information given about them the less I pay attention. When I look for surveys to back something I say and use them I still want them to give the particulars (ideally a link directly to the survey itself rather than just summing it up) of the where, when, and how (bonus points for why), the amount of anonymity (as people are inclined to give the expected answers even when untrue if not anonymous--though teens are notorious for getting extra silly when it's anonymous I think it adds to the trustworthiness for anyone older than that) it was taken and feel uncertain when such details aren't given.

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I'm with PixieJane here. Men's Health magazine, for one, is a very non-credible source given the viewership is very biased and limited. This means that the 2,000 women have to be representation of the population, which is very hard to prove. But the article says over 1,000, so where is 2,000 coming from? Unless they are utilizing randomized cluster sampling (and how they choose to do this is a whole different can of worms) across all age groups, we can't conclude that the results here "are really what women want in a guy."

I would need to see the survey questions, how it was administered, how they selected the sample, etc., to verify if there is any validity behind the results. Bottom line: you want valid results- get academia to run the study.

These traits are something both men and women would ideally want, you know no brainers. But we don't know what the else the surveyors were asked. I mean, if you were told to either select someone abrasive or kind, would you really select abrasive? No one is going to select negative traits on a survey, it is both researcher and implicit bias that causes this outcome.

The link below in the OP (website) isn't credible, tbh. Maybe for anecdotal dating experiences and basic self-help dating advice, but not for research intensive examination of human behavior. There is no link to the original study which is a red flag. Right idea, bad execution.

posted March 11, 2015 12:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:

Or are you getting direct, "from the horse's mouth" information that it's really the a**hole quality that they like?

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posted March 11, 2015 01:22 AM            

Those fantasizing about Christian Grey aren't the ones majoring in women's studies and blogging about domestic violence, in fact feminist bloggers are among those who condemn 50 Shades of Grey and Twilight, and I can post articles and videos by those types of feminists who rant hard about it. And many of the women who do fantasize about 50 SoG refuse to call themselves feminists (whether they are or not), typically because they have the same beliefs about feminism as you do.

There are plenty of contradictions and paradoxes in society but that's not one of them. Though I did once see a feminist defend the "ravishing" in Gone With the Wind...but she was an odd one and defensive about it knowing how her feminist sisters weren't going to approve.

posted March 11, 2015 03:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I didn't find a link to the survey. I don't care what the article asserted (nor if it somehow validated or challenged my views) I'd want to know where they found those they questioned, any other factors most (or even all) shared (such as an age range as just one example), and how the survey was taken (were they given multiple choice, and if so what were the choices?). I looked but didn't see a link.

I'm not challenging the article, btw, and don't doubt that some sort of survey was done, but I still want to know more about the survey itself. Surveys are far from perfect even when no ulterior motive exist, and when such a motive does exist...well I just like to know about the survey. The less information given about them the less I pay attention. When I look for surveys to back something I say and use them I still want them to give the particulars (ideally a link directly to the survey itself rather than just summing it up) of the where, when, and how (bonus points for why), the amount of anonymity (as people are inclined to give the expected answers even when untrue if not anonymous--though teens are notorious for getting extra silly when it's anonymous I think it adds to the trustworthiness for anyone older than that) it was taken and feel uncertain when such details aren't given.

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posted March 11, 2015 04:49 PM            

He continues to be a model to me, about how I should behave and about how my man should behave.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted March 11, 2015 06:04 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
You tried DeepFreeze, you really did hahah.

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