posted June 23, 2011 09:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Ok I need to go slowly and take it a step at a time.
The first thing that jumped out at me was Lucifer conjunct your Mecury.
Lucifer is pride at the core of the story.
It is a trying to attain Divine stature and not accepting human weakness.
I wonder if Lucifer is also an attraction to the dark forces.
I bet it probably is .
Anyway, please tell ME how Lucifer feels to you!

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It depends on what you mean by dark forces. I always saw myself as one of the good guys.

I don't feel this asteroid so it's interesting that it is the first thing that jumps out. Maybe I supress it, I don't know. So I have decided to do some reading up of this asteroid.

First things first, I am not the sort of person to immediately think of something evil to do. I am generally not vindictive, I have occasionally had thoughts of revenge/retaliation when someone does something wrong by me, but have never EVER acted on these thoughts, and I always think the best of people (until they do something wrong by me, then I think bad things lol) but this is not a common occurance. I am honest to a fault (and I mean a fault, this has worked against me but that could be the other person's issues). The only time I lie, are white lies usually to embellish stories (things that have happened but I exaggerate sometimes, usually when I am speaking to a person in real life (not online) or as an excuse as to why I was 20 minutes late to work when I should have only been 5 minutes: "there were two accidents on the freeway" instead of only the one, so it doesn't make me look like it was my fault for being late) so I will lie to get out of trouble or to stop someone thinking really badly of me (like, if I am consistently late people start commenting! Have I mentioned I am a tardy person?! lol but ALWAYS busy at the same time!!). But then I learned that this isn't the best way and to be super honest is best. I still find that I deviate from the truth slightly occasionally but generally I try not to and am aware of it. And it is never with huge important things. and I will ALWAYS take responsibility. If someone says "who gave this information to Joe Bloggs" I will always say it's me, look a bit sheepish and apologise. So this is the complete opposite of embellishing a story. I will never run from my responsibilities and will take accountability.

posted June 23, 2011 09:45 AM            

Anyway,Lucifer is the story of pride and hubris.
Can you relate? yes/no? How/how not?

posted June 23, 2011 09:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Your Deja conjuncts his Saturn.I have never seen that.
This strikes me as bad,bad,bad.
That does NOT mean the relationship is bad or ill fated.
It just means this slice of it will be hard.

I would picture it like this.YOU tell me if I am right.
His father archetype lol is sitting on your victim archetype.
Saturn represents the parts of him that are stern, authoritarian, want boundaries, to do it"right", to follow the rules, color between the lines etc .
Deja represents one of the weakest parts of us--the victim.
It is when we cannot raise a hand in our own defense. We are too beaten down to move so we lie there and submit.
How would this work in real life?
Hmmmm Please tell me how you and he put these two energies to use in real life?
I will comment after you do.
I may do one or two other aspects but I would like to address each one separately if that is OK.

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Some interesting background. You know the Meyers-Briggs personality tests? (are you an extrovert or introvert / thinker or feeler / intuitive or sensing / judgmental or perceptive) ... well my dad is a heavy saturn influence on my life (I will seriously never be good enough for him until I achieve more) and my exact Venus/Saturn opposition natally feels Saturn people in my chart more. I feel so small. and this guy has the exact same personality test as my dad. They think very similarly. This guy was the only boyfriend I have had that my dad actually liked as well. I felt protected though. My dad also looks out for me but he was fairly absent in my childhood (due to working long hours) and a very VERY strict father. He has chillaaxed now This guy gives me a similar feeling though not as stifling as my dad. It's hard to explain because our relationship had so many different dynamics and we had a very light-heartedness but also a heaviness which I felt he brought on though blamed me for it (maybe my actions made him feel heavy, I don't know). I feel the Deja/Saturn played out in a negative way after we broke up. I dont feel like I will be good enough for him. I probably put him up on a pedastal and he realised this. Grrr. He probably still thinks he is up there. He has fallen from grace lol but I still have this small feeling of insignificance around him. It is changing again because of the last time we spoke. He was stuttttering and nervous and I was the jovial happy one acting like normal. I noticed but when someone is nervous I never point it out/change the way I act I just act normal to make them feel more comfortable. Anyway I was doing this last time so I wonder if the effect of Saturn is wearing off.

HOWEVER! This is important. In the relationship I felt like a MUTE. Yes a mute. I am VERY talkative and moreso in a relationship usually people are asking me to stop jabbering (in a nice way of course!). With him we were really really silly and happy together (so not saturn, more venus!) but then he would be like 'that's stupid' or say something to make me feel small. Or at least that's how I felt, I dont know if that was his intention. Because then I was quiet and he would ask why I was quiet. Or it would put my nose out of joint and I wouldn't feel 'normal' for a while. I am trying to pinpoint it.. how I felt. It's difficult.

At the same time I felt super safe with him, protected. Also, I am a really REALLY bad sleeper I am not usually asleep before midnight and I wake up to a lot of things. As soon as I lay my head on his lap I was out like a light. If I was asleep he would take me to bed change me into my pyjamas and tuck me in. He is the ONLY person to be able to do this, aside from my mother when I was a little girl (we used to fall asleep watching TV then wake up the next day in our beds). He wanted to look after me. He protected me. He treated me like a princess and wouldn't let me do anything when I was staying at his house, like he wanted to wait on me. I dont know if this is the Deja Saturn palying out, but I wasnt entirely comfortable with someone waiting on me (because I dont like to feel like someone is putting themselves 'above' me, I like to feel like its a team effort ---- hellooo aquarius rising!). Also, If I was to call up tonight and ask for help, he would help me. No matter our relationship he has always hhelped me. He also has a need to be needed thing, he loves helping people.

Anyway I am not sure if this helps.. throw questions at me please cos I dont know if I am on the right track!!!

posted June 23, 2011 10:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Thank you for your thoughtful answer.That makes for a wonderful dialogue.
Ok--you are not "dark".That does go with my theory about Lucifer in that it is NOT darkness but pride.
See if you can relate to the original story of Lucifer.
Did I already put it in this thread?
I think so but I will say it fast lol
He was created as THE most beautiful being on the earth.
He was the angel of music and even had musical instruments built in to his body.
He as given the task of guarding the Garden of Eden.
He was "good" up until this point. He did not like that God was woshipped by man.
He wanted the worship,adulation for himself.
He was not content with his great place in the world but wanted it all.
He wanted to be the top, to out size God.
This is how he came to be "bad" i.e. a fallen angel.

Anyway,Lucifer is the story of pride and hubris.
Can you relate? yes/no? How/how not?

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I'm sorry if I missed your story of Lucifer

Ohhh okay. Yes I relate to some of that. I thought it was my Mars on MC that wanted attention. Okay well not attention. let me explain.

1. I am generally shy in a group, but am okay with public speaking. I am not really a huge fan of being the centre of attention. When I notice people looking at me when I am telling a story I suddenly forget what I am saying, especially in a friendship group. I will butt in with facts though in the middle of a conversation lol. Oops. When I am standing in front of a crowd eg. giving a presentation, I won't see them as people looking at me so I get over nerves within the first couple of minutes. So to me that is not being the centre of attention, but just conveying information, so its not so bad.
2. I have a bit of pride. I wouldn't say I am stuck up (I don't look down on people who do not have what I have at all, in fact in never really crosses my mind unless they have said something that makes me think to myself how lucky a life I have been given because it never crossed my mind before. I have never looked down or talked down to people. To me everyone is equal. It's probably because we were fairly well off but my parents were modest and frugal. Actually I dont get along well with people who are stuck up at all/pride. I dont have a lot of Leo friends actually and I fight with my ex who I live with now because I HATE his pride (Leo Moon). It's more the pride of wanting to have a nice house and a nice car and material things. My house has to be spotless before I have visitors over and I will stay up til 3am in the morning cleaning every little corner to make sure it is. I dont necessarily keep it spotless for myself (clean, but not spotless! Spotless also includes all objects on the mantlepiece positioned perfectly, the towels folded exactly right etc lol) I bought an old car once because I was trying to be like the rest of my friends. I was 19. Well that'll learn me because it died 2 weeks later. Everyone also said that I looked weird driving an old car lol so I gave up on that idea But I never have the best either, but am more middle class but don't judge people either. So I am not sure how this ties in. My pride relates to what other people think of me, in relation to how I keep myself. I also am not very good with money.
3. I am not an envious person, so I don't think this fits in with your Lucifer interpretation. I have just never ever been envious of what someone else has.
4. I agree because I am a perfectionist. Every project I do is 100% and perfect. I will correct something 1000 times to make sure it is perfect. It always has to be the best.
5. I enjoy accolade. In fact if I put a lot of effort into something I ask someone what they think and how good it is.
I also ask for constructive criticism from others so that I can make it better and perfect.
6. I have played several musical instruments over the years (cannot really sing though!) and enjoy playing the piano (perfectly of course hehe).

I thought all of this perfection and need for acceptance and 'yes you did well *pat on back* was coming from Mars conjunct MC in Scorpio. lol!!

posted June 23, 2011 10:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I am thinking that ,perhaps, your relationship with your Father(Saturn/Satan) made you have a lack of humility i.e being right sized.
IOW, you did not feel good about yourself so had to TRY to be better(pride) and as such embodied this Luciferian characteristic--NOT that you are a bad person but that you got this slice in yourself as a reaction to NEVER feeling good enough.
Does that fit?

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posted June 23, 2011 10:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
What an answer !That explains that conjunction so well.
Yes, this Deja /Saturn conj is just one slice of your relationship.
I agree.Your relationship is super,super multifaceted!
I LOVED how he put your PJ's on you and put you to bed. My Cancer moon needs that in a man,too lol

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I forgot to say he put my pyjamas on me and took me to bed, WITHOUT waking me up. It's like I must have been SO secure that I was dead asleep as soon as I touched him. I actually think this annoyed his Gemini sun (he did mention it a couple of times, that I could never stay awake for movies!)

I am not a secure person, and I guess its rare for me to feel so completely at ease with someone (even though at times I felt small and muted lol).

Funny that the last time that happened I was in primary/elementary school and it was my mum who put me to bed (who is a Cancer with Gemini/Cancer moon) that used to do that. He is very sweet. *sigh* I miss being looked after like that.

posted June 23, 2011 10:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Well, we will get off Lucifer for a while and go to an easier one

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posted June 23, 2011 10:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Your Saturn conjuncts his Uranus,another strange one.
Saturn would represent the "father" side of you, the responsible, rule follower side.
This side of you is on top of HIS rebel side.

This is similar to the Saturn/Deja where he is the "father"

Back to the current aspect.
This seems very stifling.I can see a stern father telling his rebellious son to stop smoking weed and get an education

How does this feel Darling?

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Doh! I always saw it as me being 'encouraging' to help solve the problems not stifling! I can see it may be if someone isn't asking for advice and I am advising them the best course of action to take.

Concerned with his health yes. Healthwise I think I was more like this, telling him what to do. Our Saturns sit in each others' House 6. I was constantly running around after him (he was super stressed at the time we were in a relationship mainly because of work and I was counselling him often and trying to help advise what to do, though he would sometimes ask as well). Then he rebelled against this eventually.. I think. At the time we were together he was going through some massive Saturn square transits to his Sun/Jupiter conjunction. I read these out to him and he agreed with the interps. I wanted to help but couldnt and no matter how I helped he wouldnt listen to me! Very painful to watch. Maybe he felt stifled by my concern.
I think I once mentioned something about how much wine he drank every night (because of stress) and he got very defensive. I used to have some wine with him. I do not drink unless it is social, but EVERY night.. gah! It's horrible. He'd have equivalent to about three glasses a night sometimes with vodka but I couldnt keep up, he wanted me to though. If I did, it would be bad. The only time we had a disagreement was if we had both drank TOO much. And now I am not with him I dont drink at all. If I was spending a night away from him I wouldnt drink - it never crossed my mind to. I really disliked this part of the relationship because I felt it wasnt how we were suppoesd to be.. it wasn't 'Us'. I wouldnt consider him an alcoholic, but someone who was just dealing with stress.

posted June 23, 2011 10:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MsCandeh:
lol okay I am going onto Saturn/Uranus now Working my way down the list :P If I say anything that needs clarification pleaes let me know

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Well Darling
As long as I can be honest I will be happy cuz what is the point of even doing these things if we do not share your real hearts and minds

posted June 23, 2011 10:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Your DC
Your Pandora
His Wisdom
Hmmmm
This relationship has a LOT of layers. I can see that.
We will have to go through the layers until a 3D picture emerges.
On this one--let me ask some things
Are YOU a chaotic person ? Are you someone who is swimming in things popping up all the time and you batting them down?
Do you know what I mean?
I am picturing Pandora's box opening and you trying to squish them all in or manage them somehow.
Then,he comes along as Wisdom and gives you a huge hand cuz Wisdom would be WHAT was needed in this situation.
Does any of that fit?

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Your description is perfect. It's like he is the calm amongst the storm

posted June 23, 2011 10:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
His Vertex conjunct your Jupiter would HAVE to be huge.
I see a Jupiter flavor to this relationship as he has Jupiter conj the Sun. That makes for a joyful,special type of person who radiates a wonderful energy.

His Vertex, a fated point has your Jupiter conjunct.
This relationship is significant for sure just based on that,I think you could say!

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Our sense of humor is EXACTLY the same. Even now we joke about things we used to when we were together. We had just so much fun and I have never laughed harder with someone in my life. I feel that he was the same with me (though of coruse I can't speak on his behalf) but we definitely had some good times and could joke about everything .. immediately after we met we alerady had 'inside' jokes.

posted June 23, 2011 11:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I just saw his moon conjuncts your ASC. That is deep and powerful. I had that and it was not a close conjunction,either.
It was powerful, though.
The moon is our deepest heart.
It is not a light weight.
I wonder how he felt that?
Did you feel very connected to him at a deep heart level?

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To be honest I am not sure. I can read his soul like a book.. but he acts the opposite to what I feel from him. I saw a psychic about a year and a half ago. I didn't mention all of this. She used the words 'deep heart'. Actually she said that he loved me more than I loved him (how ?! I have never loved someone this much in my life! And I feel so deeply). She said the relationship he is in now is karmic and it was something he 'needed' to go back to, to sort out karma.

Yes I have never felt as connected to anyone at a deep heart level like I have this. Maybe it only affected me because I am the ASC?

He fell as well but the depth I am uncertain. He showed love differently than big gushy emotions (he is a Gemini sun afterall). We definitely have a strong bond, and dream about each other. I always blamed myself for diong something to change his mind/heart.. it's like overnight something intercepted our connection. But after beating myself up trying very hard to think about what I had done wrong, (I couldnt think of anything deal-breaking!) realised that maybe it was him. Our bond was/is strong (especially after all we have been through).

posted June 23, 2011 11:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
His bride on your ASC is one of the most important hallmarks of your relationship just from the pure closeness of the orb-almost exact.
His wants/wanted to marry you,I think you could say.This slice of the pie says that,to me

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From the start of the relationship he said I love you first (though I felt it before he said it 4 weeks into our relationship). He used to call me wifey. He spoke about us having kids, within a couple of months.

And guess what I did (so kick myself for this). Of course that is what I have always wanted. But because I am used to being with guys who are scared of marriage or children (could be an age thing too) I PLAYED IT COOL. I never play it cool! ahhhhh hahahaha

posted June 23, 2011 11:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Does he have Apollo conjunct the Sun?

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posted June 23, 2011 11:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
His Child conjuncts your Psyche in Aqua.
This is BIG.
His inner child is bonded with the deepest most passionate part of your soul/mind complex.
Psyche is like a mind/soul Eros ,I think.

The Child Asteroid is a big one in synastry,I think.

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posted June 23, 2011 11:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Your Mars conjuncts his Juno. Your drive and his deep ,committed, loyal ,devoted and steadfast energy are bonded.
This is BIG,too.

Tell me what you think of each aspect,please.Tell me if you think it fits or not.

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posted June 23, 2011 11:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I love sharing with you

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yay!! I feel like I can just open up to you no bars held, and I am not going to be judged badly by you. I hope it's helping you and not boring you :P

posted June 23, 2011 11:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
WOW
It is amazing how this aspect(Pandora/Chaos/Wisdom) played out in such exact detail.
Astrology gets more amazing the more you delve in to it.
Asteroids are more personal cuz we all have the same planets but asteroids are our OWN particular jewels.
Some are a diamond, a pearl, an emerald or a sapphire.
Asteroids have increased my faith in God cuz it shows the Universe to be even more ordered

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posted June 23, 2011 11:54 AM            

What do you do to meditate on a chart? I am just curious. Do you have the chart in front of you or do you try and connect with the energies in your mind?

posted June 23, 2011 12:40 PM            

Instead of his BRIEDE conjunct my ASC in this lifetime (our natal charts), MY bride conjuncts HIS ASC in the past life (1.05 orb) as well as his MERCURY. Our JUNOS are conjunct at 24.08 and 24.20 Aries (0.12 orb) which conjuncts my natal HERA which sits at 24.10 Aries and my natal PHOLUS at 23.53 Aries and his natal CUPID at 24.39 Aries and my Draconic VERTEX sits at 25.24 Aries. I have a feeling 24 Aries is significant for us.
Sabian Symbol - The Possibility For Man To Gain Experience At Two Levels Of Being.

We have often dreamt about each other, even after not seeing each other for a long time. We have dreamt about each other on the same night or within a night of each other.

His Child conjunct my POF. (0.57 orb)

My draconic DC conjunct his SUN in this lifetime (0.06)
My draconic DC conjunct his draconic EROS (0.36) which all conjuncts his natal SUN.

My VENUS conjunct his CERES (0.41) and my VENUS conjunct his LUCIFER (1.17)

His POF conjunct my LUCIFER (1.45) His POF conjunct my MERCURY (0.13). Interesting.

My VESTA conjunct his DC (1.16)

I have only looked at a handful of asteroids, about half of the natal ones we are studying... seems that we have signfiicant asteroid synastry in current and past life charts I dont think we need to analyse the draconics at this stage!!!!! Way too much LOL But I just wanted to show the significance of this particular synastry. The more I see the more I can understand why I just can't get him out of my head, and I don't think he can either (he has said this as well). It's craziness. And I dont understand his actions at this point but I guess I never will. *sigh*