posted June 27, 2011 01:38 PM            

His Echo conjunct my Moon and my Echo opposite his Moon...

His Narcissus conjunct my Bride and my Narcissus opposite his Bride...

Seems to make me think that even though we have some good aspects that maybe we are living in fantasy world? I can see a part of that, especially after being apart for so long (we both do about each other).

Maybe none of our love was real? But It WAS definitely for me.

I am not moving on like I normally would move on from someone, I would consider myself to be a fairly sane and normal person LOL :P
Fate has a big part of this as well It hink and weird synchronicity keeps happening.

My intuition is telling me that something is about to happen when I move too.... just don't know what exactly!

PS. The confusion is related to our interaction because there's something there but it's like he jumbles my mind to confuse me so I don't know what is real and what is not. If it comes to a conversation where we stand with each other (initiated by me!) our conversation turns to pure confusion. It would be like me asking you "is the sky blue?" and you answering "the duck quacks". I am totally confused about what I may mean to him... if anything at all.
He was not like this at all when we were together, and he is very smart. It's almost like he likes winding me up and seeing how much it frustrates me that he dodges questions or turns a conversation into something that is just bizarre. Then he will suddenly be serious and act seriously upset that i am very confused, like I have done wrong by getting confused and upset. So we both get upset and then I usually end up ending the conversation. The whole time this is going on there are a few jokes chucked in there and it's all very lighthearted. I can't be angry at him even when he is frustrating and this is unusual for me

posted June 28, 2011 08:41 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Was he the great love of your life? If so,you are VERY protective of him

---

posted June 28, 2011 09:17 AM            

Back with the composite chart!
Just need to post the aspects now :P

I'll do planets and asteroids.

I will do transits of the planets at the time of break.

I haven't had a chance to have a proper look.. wonder if it means anything? First thing that stands out is Lucifer, Valentine, Ceres all conjunct IC!

Vertex on DC

Neptune conjunct Moon

BBS

posted June 28, 2011 12:59 PM            

Take your time, there's no rush!! xx

Planet Aspects in Composite

MOON conjunct NEPTUNE (1.17)

MOON/NEPTUNE sextile PLUTO (0.47/1.56)
MOON/NEPTUNE square SATURN (5.56/4.39)
MOON/NEPTUNE sesquiquadrate VENUS (0.07/1.24)
MOON/NEPTUNE square JUPITER (6.53/5.36)

MERCURY widely conjunct CHIRON (7.04)

JUPITER widely conjunct ASC (9.46)

URANUS sextile SATURN (2.10)
URANUS trine JUPITER (3.07)

PLUTO sesquiquadrate SUN (1.44)
[I have read up on this before, I think it is significant?]

Asteroid Aspects in Composite
EROS square PHOLUS (1.48)
EROS sesquiquadrate CHIRON (1.57)

BRIDE trine UNION (0.33)
BRIDE trine PANDORA (0.13)
BRIDE square CUPIDO (1.34)
BRIDE square NARCISSUS (1.25)

PHOLUS conjunct AC (1.22)
PHOLUS opposite VERTEX (1.19)

LIE square VALENTINE (1.52)
LIE square CERES (2.00)
LIE square LUCIFER (0.39)
LIE trine NN (1.44)
LIE sesquiquadrate PSYCHE (1.49)

CUPID conjunct CHILD (0.49)
CUPID conjunct CHAOS (1.48)

CHILD conjunct CHAOS (0.59)

CHAOS sesquiquadrate POF (1.36)
CHAOS trine EROS (0.56)

APHRODITE conjunct APOLLO (0.48)

APOLLO/APHRODITE opposite PSYCHE/URANUS

UNION conjunct PANDORA (0.45)

PALLAS square JUNO (1.22)
PALLAS sesquiquadrate DEJANIRA (0.58)

HERA opposite MOON/NEPTUNE
HERA square ECHO (1.31)
HERA sesquiquadrate MARS (1.48)

CERES/VALENTINE/IC/LUCIFER conjunction

CERES/VALENTINE/IC/LUCIFER sesquiquadrate PSYCHE/URANUS

VALENTINE conjunct IC (1.03) [repeating in our synastry, DW Valentine conjunct IC]

VESTA conjunct NESSUS (1.00)
VESTA/NESSUS square PLUTO

NESSUS square DEJANIRA (1.55)

VERTEX conjunct DC (0.03)

PSYCHE conjunct URANUS (0.50)

Planet Aspects to Natal Planets/Asteroids
Conjuncts, Oppositions, Squares only! (there are too many otherwise)

4.04 Gem
C-SUN conjunct my NN (2.33)
[note: interesting how in the composite Pluto sesquiquadrate Sun and the C-Sun conjunct my natal NN and the C-Pluto conjuncts his natal NN]
C-SUN conjunct my CHIRON (1.54)

21.35 Sagi
C-MOON opposite MrGem SUN (5.33)
C-MOON opposite MrGem JUPITER (7.21)

11.02 Tau
C-MERCURY square MrGem SATURN (1.37)
C-MERCURY opposite MrGem URANUS (3.17)
C-MERCURY square MrGem CHILD (0.51)

C-MERCURY conjunct my CUPIDO (1.03)
C-MERCURY conjunct my VENUS (1.50)
C-MERCURY square my DEJANIRA (0.46)
C-MERCURY opposite my SATURN (1.21)

6.43Taurus
C-VENUS conjunct my VENUS (6.09)
C-VENUS conjunct my APOLLO (1.28)
C-VENUS square my NESSUS (1.03)
C-VENUS opposite my PLUTO (6.32)
C-VENUS opposite my SATURN (5.40)

C-VENUS conjunct MrGem VENUS (6.09)
C-VENUS conjunct MrGem MARS (6.09)
C-VENUS conjunct MrGem CHIRON (2.38)
C-VENUS square MrGem SATURN (5.56)
C-VENUS square MrGem VESTA (0.28)
C-VENUS opposite MrGem URANUS (1.36)

10.29Aqua
C-MARS conjunct MrGem CHILD (1.24)
C-MARS square MrGem URANUS (2.10)
C-MARS opposite MrGem SATURN (2.10)

C-MARS square my SATURN (1.53)
C-MARS opposite my DEJANIRA (1.19)
C-MARS square my VENUS (2.23)
C-MARS square my CUPIDO (0.31)

28.28Pisces
C-JUPITER square my SAPPHO (1.52)
C-JUPITER opposite my POF (1.53)
C-JUPITER square my WISDOM (1.59)
C-JUPITER square my NEPTUNE (3.27)

C-JUPITER opposite MrGem LUCIFER (0.30)
C-JUPITER opposite MrGem CERES (1.20)

27.31 Vir
C-SATURN conjunct my POF (0.56)
C-SATURN square my SAPPHO (0.55)

C-SATURN conjunct MrGem LUCIFER (0.27)

25.21 Scorpio
C-URANUS conjunct MrGem DC (1.38)
C-URANUS square MrGem MOON (0.27)
C-URANUS opposite MrGem MERCURY (1.30)

C-URANUS square my AC/DC (3.36)
C-URANUS opposite my SUN (3.15)
C-URANUS square my ECHO (0.28)

22.52 Sag

C-NEPTUNE opposite MrGem SUN (6.50)

20.48 Lib
C-PLUTO conjunct my MOON (2.32)

posted June 28, 2011 02:29 PM            

I will look at the composite and see what I can find.
I think we came to several conclusions up to this point.Tell me what you think
YOU saw his Cupido/fake love.
Your Pholus acted in haste to make him jealous.
He never got over it and broke off the relationship.
His own Narcissus suffered a fatal ego wound we could say.
Is that right so far?

OK You can tell me the story

posted June 29, 2011 01:17 PM            

I'm not sure how pholus conjuct ascendant would have an effect exactly (but what you said above that has hit te nail on the head!! My explanation is not so succinct hehe)

posted June 29, 2011 01:18 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:

I will look at the composite and see what I can find.
I think we came to several conclusions up to this point.Tell me what you think
YOU saw his Cupido/fake love.
Your Pholus acted in haste to make him jealous.
He never got over it and broke off the relationship.
His own Narcissus suffered a fatal ego wound we could say.
Is that right so far?

OK You can tell me the story

---

I think in a nutshell that is it! To be honest up until this point it has never been really clear what it was - i spent so long beating myself up and picking apart my personality after this relationship to try and better myself so that I don't make the same mistakes again. I REALLY scrutinised myself moreso than I have ever before in my life. So that has coloured my judgment and I find it still is my fault even though it was unintended. Sometimes I will think - oh actually it was all his fault, it was his decisions that were the fault of the relationship. Perhaps it was both of us. But we still loved each other the whole time, even after we broke up. I guess that's common though. But his decision to end the relationship definitely rings true of the narcissus - fatal wound to the ego. It was never clear to me before right now that I was the cause of that fatal wound. I always blamed someone else.

I'm trying to figure out how to explain the story to-the-point because there were so many different facets (and following the relationship ending as well..)

Firstly - do you want me to do up composite transits? I am about halfway through them.

Ami - your amazing insight has actually helped clear this up for me so much. This has been on my mind for almost two years. I cannot thank you enough

posted June 29, 2011 01:29 PM            

12. MrGemini and I, a couple of months earlier before all this, booked a holiday overseas. Two weeks ebfore the holiday he broke it off (via email, and then going incommunicado for a few days) and told me he was going alone. He had to fork out $1000 for my ticket .. I said I was happy to go along, even as a friend. He said no he didnt think we'd have a good time together (broke my heart ).

13. After we broke up I defriended him on facebook and he got all upset. I tried not to talk to him at work but we worked pretty much together. I went on my breaks alone and had to walk past his office to get outside. He got SO upset that I was ignoring him and not inviting me on my breaks from work, so I tried to be civil for the sake of our co-workers. We were able to have civil conversations and laugh and joke around. God we loved each other so much! I could see it in his lovely eyes. I find it incredibly hard to be mad at him/ignore him.

13. I then went on facebook (and re-friended him) and a couple of days before he left MsScorpio had left a message on his facebook wall that was not obvious, but reading between the lines it sounded like she was going on this holiday (To OUR hotel that WE had booked together). I called up MrGemini straight away and said that I knew he was going with MsScorpio (I didn't know!). He said "ahhh I am going to kill the person who told you! Who told you???" and I said ... "you just did then!!!" and I was very very upset.

13. My spiral of depression for the entire three weeks SHE was on MY holiday while I was stuck at home. I took the time I'd booked off work still (I needed it!) and when MrGemini got back to work (the same day I got back from my vacation leave) he was so friendly and lovely to me. He tried to talk about Thailand but I told him I didn't want to hear about it. His best friend from work came up to talk to us. MrGemini went back to his office and he was talking to me and asking me how Thailand was. I was like.. YOU DONT KNOW?! So I told him and he was like .. wow.. they are a really Odd match. He was upset that we weren't together and said he didn't understand at all. They had been friends for 5 years.

1. It is odd he didnt tell his friends he had taken MsScorpio instead of me (and in fact didnt even tell his friends that he had broken up with me)
2. His sister sent me a very upset email when she found out we had broken up. She didn't know about MsScorpio either.
3. He INSISTEd he was not 'with' MsScoprio and that they had just gone together as friends because he 'didn't want to go alone, and nobody else was available to take a 3 week trip at such short notice). We slept together after we broke up even though he was saying he wasn't with anyone else, because I had a feeling he was with her and I was seeing if he would be faithful to her. He wasn't. This BACKFIRED badly. Gosh I am not normally like this (I have never slept with someone who has had a partner, but he WAS my partner and at the time I saw that she had interfered with our relationship???)
4. I gave him an ultimatum and told him to choose. He said that he would choose her. I wrote her an email the next week saying that he had been lying to both of us. She apparently rang him up crying and he called me on my work phone (he had moved office by this stage - coincidence, not because we broke up) and threatened me with legal action for STALKING. I was like.. WTF I have never stalked you or her!!! I left work crying that day, it makes you feel sick when someone thinks that of you when it's not true.
5. the NEXT DAY after threatening me with legal action if I talked to either of them again, he came up to our building for a meeting because 'there was nowhere else in the entire university'. The meeting was scheduled for my break time (which he knew the time as it is the same every day). I opened the staff room door and he was literally standing there. He said 'Hi how are you?!" in a really chirpy voice. I was stunned with silence, turned and ran back to my office crying.
6. The same thing happened again the next week and I told my boss about it. He called MrGemini and told him that if he wanted to speak to anyone all communication would be through him and it was best to not come to the building if it could be avoided.
7. We ended up talking to each other because he kept bumping into me (coincidence?! I think not!). By this stage I was having anxiety attacks every time I was near him. He was the same. We were like SO anxious around each other that we would both stutter, but usually it was the one with LESS power over the situation who would stutter.

So 1. I know why we broke up
2. I dont know why we broke up. It just went south REALLY fast, and our exes were intertwined into it. I really think if our ex's weren't in the picture we would have still be happy together now!

posted June 29, 2011 01:47 PM            

So this is why I see it as a tragic love story of we both thought things of each other that weren't necessarily true at the time and that we used our ex's to hurt each other. It is SO screwed up.

Now we are to-ing and fro-ing between, not speakig for a couple of months, then talking, then being friendly, then being overly friendly (he talks very suggestively to me, every time he does I ask if he is still with MsScorpio and he says that he is ) and we are stuck in this rut.

posted June 29, 2011 02:22 PM            

I forgot to say that a few months ago I said I wonder if you have forgotten about me.. (I hadn't talked to him for two months at that stage)... and he said he never will forget me.

And his mother works at the university as well, LOVELY lady (a Leo sun) and a couple of times we have bumped into each other we have had a really nice friendly chat. She seems to be concerned about me too. Not that that means anything about him, but maybe she is just being polite.

As far as I am aware his best friend and MsScorpio think I am actually a psycho because of what he has told them (I am a stalker) which really upsets me because the day before I sent that stupid message to her telling her that he was lying to both of us (and then him threatening me with legal action later that afternoon), the very NIGHT before the morning I sent that message, he had been messaging me all day asking me why I had blocked him from MSN and wasn't responding to his text messages. I wrote back once and said I will only talk to him if it was regarding work.

So he said he was concerned about a work situation and wanted to call me.

So I said fine, just call.. we mainly talked about work for about an hour (I was consoling him over a problem he had been having since before we broke up) and then the conversation turned to 'why am I blocked? please unblock me' etc etc etc. I said he was blocked because he finally admitted he was with her and that I didnt want to have anything to do with him.

So the next morning I sent that message to her saying that he had been lying to us, then he did a 180 and called me up saying that I was a stalker and to never ever contact her or him again!!! What the??

I had visited him once WITHOUT calling (is this a crime?) and unfortunately MsScorpio was upstairs in his apartment. His apartment has security gates so the only way to get in is if you are buzzed in. So he didnt buzz me in but came downstairs to meet me. All that happened was that I didnt call. He then told me that I made her cry (by turning up unnannounced) and he was scared of upsetting her. I assume he has told her that I am a psycho person and that he doesn't talk to me. In fact since then he HAS told me that he told her that he only talks to me occasionally for work. After he said that he gave me a huuuuge hug and a kiss on the forehead and then left to go upstairs.

I dont see me calling by unnannounced ONCE as stalking and of course it never went further especially because he came up to our staff room when I was on break the next day. I am so ****** about that whole thing because I was so upset and he was just trying to have one over me (probably because I 'outed' him to MsScorpio so the whole masquerade was blown... ) ... actually I think he was upset because he had been so successful in never letting us speak to each other that me contacting her directly (without having spoken to her before) was him losing control of the situation.

I know I can't be with him again, but of course there is just something there. Trust me I have tried very hard to move on and be cold to him, tell him I don't want to talk to him, etc etc etc. It just doesn't work and he reels me in every single time.

posted June 29, 2011 02:39 PM            

It's like he knew I wasn't a stalker but he was acting that way on the phone .. maybe she was in his office standing behind him when he was on the phone to me I don't know. then the very next day turns up in the staff room acting normal.

confusing, no?

And I am unsure of the future.. I feel change is coming and I feel like we are't completely Over over yet. I don't know why I have this feeling. I am a bit anxious about it actually and not sure what to think. Anyway we'll have to wait and see.

I hope that I don't sound crazy for still talking to him, but it is hard to convey the feelings that are between us (well at least so it seems!). This is why I am unsure why he is still with her because he doesn't seem very in love with her, telling me she is very angry person and he is scared of her and that's why when we talk it has to be in secret. But then again, is that a lie or not? I don't even know what he says is real anymore!

I am not secretive at all, so I dont appreciate being a 'secret'.

posted June 29, 2011 02:43 PM            

I probably sound like a stupid woman for even talking to him, and trust me I am normally a strong person regarding these matters. I can see what most people who would hear this story would think. I would be giving the advice of going the other way, tell him never to contact you but only for work purposes etc etc. but it is so hard. I have never been in this position before.