Posts: 2
From: North Pole
Registered: Nov 2020

posted September 25, 2015 11:52 AM            

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Cut my life into pizza
This is my plastic fork
Ocean cooking, heavy breathing
Don't give a **** if it's carbs that I'm eating!!

Lol it's funny because that's actually a song
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation no breathing
Don't give a **** if I cut my arm bleeding

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Posts: 36
From: USA
Registered: Sep 2015

posted September 27, 2015 02:52 AM            

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What kind of burger seems more appetizing before you smell it than afterwards?

A Limburger!

What nickname did they give the cheese company executive caught embezzling money and shredding the evidence?

The Cheddar shredder!

What did Herman's wife ask for when she went to the deli to pick up his order?

Herman's muenster!

What's significant about the year 1513?

It was the first time the Swiss (cheese) encountered Dijon (mustard) and failed to overcome its richness (they were paid off to leave France).

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Posts: 9861
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 16, 2015 05:10 PM            

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Why are vegan meals so dangerous?

Because asparagus spears, celery stalks, and bamboo shoots.

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Posts: 174502
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 17, 2015 12:32 PM            

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Posts: 9861
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted November 19, 2015 05:05 PM            

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What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay.

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Posts: 174502
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 20, 2015 01:22 PM            

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From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 21, 2015 10:12 AM            

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Risque'.

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Posts: 907
From: Female bird from France
Registered: Feb 2014

posted November 24, 2015 04:14 PM            

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*~ hahah...
I actually laughed

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Posts: 9861
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 14, 2015 12:27 AM            

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Q: What does spider-man use to take a selfie?
A: a webcam

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Posts: 9861
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 14, 2015 12:28 AM            

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Q: What meal is never sad?
A: the Happy Meal

Name two cats that are brothers:
A: catsup and catnip

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Posts: 104
From: Land of Oz
Registered: Apr 2016

posted April 27, 2016 09:01 AM            

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What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus

What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?
Doyouthinkhesaurus-Rex

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Posts: 9861
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted May 24, 2016 06:36 PM            

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How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

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Posts: 9861
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted May 24, 2016 06:37 PM            

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• Venison for dinner, again? Oh, deer!

• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

• I used to be a banker, but, then, I lost interest.

• Haunted French pancakes give me the crκpes.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing, now.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst!

• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop, any time.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and, then, it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

• Why were the Indians here, first? Because, they had reservations.

• I didn't like my beard, at first. Then, it grew on me.

• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

• All the toilets in the police station have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro - what a rip off!

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Posts: 9861
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted June 01, 2016 06:10 PM            

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A guy's flatulence sounded like the word, "Honda." He wasn't sure who to see about that, but since it's a Japanese word he thought he'd try a Japanese doctor.

And so he does, with the doctor immediately diagnosing the problem: abscessed tooth.

The guy goes to a dentist who confirms it and takes care of the problem, after which his flatulence returns to normal.

He goes back to the Japanese doctor and asks him, "How did you figure out my problem so quickly?"

The doctor replies, "Everyone knows, abscess makes the fart go Honda."

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Posts: 9861
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted June 25, 2016 03:14 AM            

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How do monsters like their eggs?

Terror-fried!

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Posts: 147
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 02, 2016 09:50 PM            

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What’s a moth’s life motto?
Always look on the bright side.

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Posts: 147
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 02, 2016 10:26 PM            

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DoublePost

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Posts: 147
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 03, 2016 08:41 PM            

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Is there any way I can delete the last joke I posted?

My internet froze after I posted it the first time. Now I realise it posted twice thinking the previous post never worked.

Anyway I just found another cheesy one-liner joke.

A hat turned to a scarf and said
"You hang around and I'll go on ahead"

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Posts: 147
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 05, 2016 09:03 AM            

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Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck

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Posts: 174502
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 06, 2016 10:40 AM            

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Posts: 147
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 09, 2016 11:48 AM            

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Lot's good jokes here by other people.

Randall, do you have any more cheesy jokes?

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Posts: 174502
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 10, 2016 10:00 AM            

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Let me think on that.

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Posts: 147
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 10, 2016 02:43 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Let me think on that.

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Ok. I'll try to think of some as well.

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Posts: 147
From:
Registered: Jun 2016

posted August 13, 2016 02:09 PM            

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Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit? Because it was cultured.

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Posts: 174502
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 14, 2016 02:47 PM            

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