posted December 18, 2000 10:14 AM         

I've been sitting on my hands. No emails for him for 4 days so far. But I almost IM him this morning, but quickly logged off (Yahoo Chat) Whew!! That was close!

"No-action" & "a little casual indifference goes a long way" ... I know this works best. And VERY HARD, too. So I have been struggling, getting busy with other things. Geez! I am glad you are here for me.

Gooberlily, My Venus conjuncts to his Saturn. This is very hard. I'd like to kick his Saturn away from my Venus.

I just got Linda Goodman Journal that I ordered from Crystal's website. In this book, it says a lot about Saturn. Linda wrote it. I have picked a part:

"Now for the good news. Or bad, depending entirely upon your Free Will choice of behavior while Grandpa Saturn parked on your couch and perhaps even slept in your bed (this is not, usually, a fantastic time for love or romance ... more of a period of celibacy or at least a somewhat restrained passion). Let's put this next sentense in capital letters. AT SOME TIME WITHIN SIX MONTHS OF WHEN SATURN LEAVES YOUR SUN SIGN, EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE WILL HAVE CHANGED IN A MAYOR WAY. Within that six month period following Saturn's exit, the following changes will have taken place ... at lest several of them, usually all of them: change of residence ... change in friendships ... love ... marriage ... your general helath ... employment or career ... your money and finances. You'll look in your mirror, wonder, "Who is that?" It's you, of course, but an indisputably DIFFERENT you."

Interesting? Thought I'd share this with you all, Knowflakes

Randall, do you think you can get Saturn Smilie?

posted December 18, 2000 10:44 AM         

Maybe we should go to Astrology area here to discuss this. We don't have an astrologer yet, but at least we could share in and learn from each other. I used to study Astology and was getting very good at it, but had to put it aside to take care of Mom when her hubby of 30 yr died 4 years ago. She's coming again for her 3 mo. winter stay. She does not approve of Astrology because of her religion, unfortunately. It does not do me any good to argue with her. But I will manage somehow to take it up again.

posted December 18, 2000 09:39 PM         

"change of residence ... change in friendships ... love ... marriage ... your general helath ... employment or career ... your money and finances. You'll look in your mirror, wonder, "Who is that?"

I've gone through all of that except for the marriage thing, all within the past 3 months.

I think it would be cool if we could get a Saturn smilie...

It makes me laugh...I just thought of a Sears commercial on tv, where the words to a little jingle are "Come see the softer side of Sears"

I just heard "grandpa" chime in my mind:

"Come see the softer side of Saturn."

Oh Lord, that was too corny

Well, Mele, it looks like some Saturn stuff is definitely taking place in your life right now! Not fun for a love relationship...but educational, yes...I believe that's the proper word...

Educational.

(Saturn must like that word...I felt him smirk )

posted December 19, 2000 01:54 AM         

------------------
"and the Mind will, through the Brain .. restore the memory
of the former Body Temple identity to the newly-discovered one
until finally, he or she will recall all which passed before

posted December 19, 2000 10:08 AM         

Knowflakes, we won't ask for other planets, will we? We've got star & moon. Now we need Saturn. or we could give Saturn this one

posted December 19, 2000 09:28 PM         

I have a confession to make. I don't want to get "my planet" mad at me or anything (If Mars gets mad at me, hit the hills folks)...Okay, I'll say for me, Mars is always first because...well...it just is , but, Saturn is my favoritest (see I'm using your word ) out of all of them...out of all of them that I would choose to like. I just have to like Mars, we stick together...but Saturn is like my figurative grandpa, "he" can say more by raising one eyebrow than most people could say in a book. I feel like "he" cares in that paternal type of way, and I'd like to make "him" proud, by listening to what he has to say and not questioning it...because I know "he" is wiser

posted December 20, 2000 02:49 AM         

------------------
"and the Mind will, through the Brain .. restore the memory
of the former Body Temple identity to the newly-discovered one
until finally, he or she will recall all which passed before

posted December 20, 2000 02:46 PM         

Disbelieved, I got up and left the room...went to lay down on my couch to watch TV, but all of a sudden I feel asleep. I was having trouble sleeping, but last night after it happened, I crashed! Had a really good sleep. I dreamt of him! I dreamt that I was in the same room with him, but he couldn't see me. He was with another woman. He looked so good, dressed and tall. He was very restless with her, acting like he was trying to get rid of her. I smiled. Yeah, he had enough of oatmeal! (Pesticide according to Gooberlily's poem). I wonder why I dreamt like that! Wisful dream or looking on ahead? Who knows, but it looked so real to me.

Well, I am still not too happy about the email being sent to him. Do you think Uni-Verse sent it to him?? That letter is very good, though. I wrote from my feelings and from my heart without anything mushy or nothing out of anger. Just being honest that I felt like a fool since he didn't tell me directly that he no longer wanted to be intimate with me..that I sent him that sexy message because I was trying to make him smile..he had always liked that, but obviously he didn't think it was cute because he didn't respond the way I hoped he would..that I felt like he was dropping "hints" and I was getting them dropped on my heart like a bomb...

Did I sound silly?? Gosh! For some reason it got sent "accidently"

posted December 20, 2000 03:04 PM         

Maybe even, good 'ole Saturn pushed the button....you never know.

------------------

posted December 21, 2000 12:02 AM         

And by the way...I just got my new telescope delivered today...it came with some Galileo software.

Well, I saw this clump of stars in the sky and wondered if it was a constellation. I'm bad with astronomy...I know Orion and the Big Dipper. Next to the clump of stars in the western night sky there was this bright object. I set up the software and configured it to my location and time.

I was looking (as it turns out) at the constellation of Aries.

Guess what that bright object was?

Yes, it was

Mele, I had something very similar happen with my other half about two years ago. I wrote a very long letter to him one night because I couldn't sleep. It wasn't anything mushy, just a basic letter asking how he was, etc. When I read it over in the morning, I decided not to send it. I had it in the envelope, but I put it away...deciding it was better if I thought it over some more.

Later that day I looked for the envelope. It was missing.

My mother mailed it.

When I tell you I was freaked out...I mean I was really freaked out. I contemplated finding the mailbox my mother dropped it in to, and squeezing myself through the little blue door. I was so worried that he would take the letter the wrong way. After the letter I didn't hear from him for close to a year. I figured I did myself in. Then I ran into him, and he said that he never got a letter from me, and gave me his accountant's address because he said people steal mail from his house (I wouldn't doubt it.)

So, the moral of the story is...when "grandpa" is involved, things get mailed out by accident. Don't sweat it, I'm sure it will all be fine...and maybe it was divine intervention!

And about your dream Mele, I have them quite often with my other half...and some of those times he has been in the company of another woman but looked unhappy. I would suggest writing down whatever dreams you have with him. The details might come in handy in the future. If you remember anything he says in the dream, or how he's acting toward you, write it down...trust me

posted December 21, 2000 11:33 AM         

------------------
"and the Mind will, through the Brain .. restore the memory
of the former Body Temple identity to the newly-discovered one
until finally, he or she will recall all which passed before

posted December 21, 2000 12:30 PM         

I was still fuming over what happened, but your posts really made me feel much better.

Gooberlily, Your story about getting your long letter sent to your other half by your mom is very interesting. He never got it. Geez!! You went on for nearly a year thinking he got your letter and rejected you. He thought you were ignoring him which he probably needed to think like that anyway. So it worked out. I know my other half got my "accidently" sent email because I haven't heard a peep from him..not even a hello note. My higher-S-elf or Someone divine or even Saturn got it sent maybe they knew it needed to be sent to him for some reason. I re-read that letter...hmm...it sounded like I wanted to distance myself from him and kinda a farewell letter even thought I didn't say anything "final".

It's so amazing that our stories about our experiences with them are so similar. I forgot to tell you. When I got up that morning right after that night my email got sent to him "accidently"..I went to the bathroom to wash my face (get ready for work) I felt something around my ankle, I looked down...guess what??

It was a ribbon attaching to "metalic smiley" balloon that he gave me for my birthday four months ago! I don't know how it got out of where it was. I had folded it and put it away since there was no more air in it. Weird!!

Maybe we're on some kind of mission for some reason and they need to be out of our ways.

posted December 21, 2000 08:39 PM         

I think the letter I accidentally sent to him in 1998 had pretty much the same sort of thing you were talking about that you had in your letter. I remembered reading it, and thinking that it was a kiss-off letter of some kind, or too demanding...like I wanted answers about what was really going on in our situation...that's why I think I didn't want to send it.

On December 8th, when I spent some time in the backyard by myself, standing in the snow...I was thinking of my other half...I said out loud to myself at some point, "Peter...I'm going to see you soon...L'Amour...I smell the streets outside of L'Amour covered in ice or snow."

L'Amour is a rock club in Brooklyn.

The following week my friend Sherry called me on the phone, freaked out because she had a dream of my other half, and he turned into her current boyfriend, Jeremy.

Last night I had a dream that my other half's keyboard player was in.

This afternoon, my friend Sherry calls me up to tell me my other half is playing L'Amour...on New Year's Eve...and her boyfriend Jeremy's band is coincidentally opening up for them.

posted December 21, 2000 10:26 PM         

I remember when I was very young, 15 yrs old at boarding school for the deaf..insecure. I couldn't figure out why he was seeing me. He was very gorgeous, tall, charming ... girls after him. A musican coming to see a deaf girl?? We had a big problem. He'd use to say to me "you sure know how to hurt a guy.". I really gave him a hard time. I was just too insecure. It's like the movie "Children of a lesser god"..if you haven't seen it..rent it!! It's much like us!

This is getting curious and curious all right. I remember that dream I had of him the other night. He didn't say a word to me. It was like he didn't know I was there. With another woman. But right now as far as I know, he lives alone and doesn't have a woman with him. Perhaps I was looking far ahead. Who knows? Still not a peep from him since that email got sent to him "accidently"

I can't believe you mentioned "kiss off..." That's what I mentioned in that email to him. Not to him, but that I felt he was saying "kiss off....." to me without coming out to tell me blah..directly..

This is weird!!!!!!

posted December 21, 2000 10:40 PM         

Thanks for smilie

It's so cool!! I also love snowflake one

posted December 21, 2000 11:14 PM         

SURPRISE...

posted December 22, 2000 09:18 AM         

------------------
"and the Mind will, through the Brain .. restore the memory
of the former Body Temple identity to the newly-discovered one
until finally, he or she will recall all which passed before

posted December 22, 2000 09:42 AM         

Love most times played a very little role...sure there were those who found each other...there were the LOVERS. However, if you notice there was always one half who depended on the other for one reason or another...economic, emotional support, etc.

For the first time (for this space time) we are slowly learning that each of us..MAN or WOMAN..is capable of standing on their own. That is what I think is happening. We are slowly, but surly teaching ourselves to be a strong individual who can stand alone.

Until one can learn their own strengths they can't really be a stong TWIN sure of his or her own SELF. It takes two strong confident TWINS to create the WHOLE BEING.

Perhaps one TWIN has learned this the hard way and is now trying to teach it to the other. Teach that TWIN his or her self-reliance. Sometimes that is harder on the teaching TWIN than the student TWIN.
Watching someone we K-Now and LOVE struggle, but also K-Nowing it will be worth it in the end.

That might be why there is so much conflict over "love affairs". Why so many Wo-men are trying it alone.
Or being forced to go it alone. Somewhere along the Collective Consciousness we realized it was time...time to build up each TWIN.

Even Men are going through this...
having to find their own inner strengths to not rule over their mates or place them in established roles, but to see them as a STRONG EQUAL...

EACH MUST BE EQUALLY STRONG AND INDEPENDENT TO CREATE THE UNITED BEING...

So don't dispare of these "lonely" times...use them to develope your Inner-S-elf...your TWIN is counting on this so eventually the TWO of you can come together as ONE WHOLE BEING...

It is the beginning of the TIME OF THE TWINS....

posted December 22, 2000 10:29 PM         

Yes, Mele, I had the dream of Peter's keyboard player...Peter plays the bass guitar, but I think that's a great "coincidence" that your other half plays keyboards!

Peter is older than me, fourteen years my senior, to be precise. He's tall (six foot six) and quite dashing, in a handsome, Klingon warrior type of way He frightens some people though, because of his stature and voice...he has a growling baritone/bass voice.

This is the most open I've ever been about him in public, and it makes me feel really good...like my own little corner of the world far removed (I'm sure it feels like this for you guys too.) I'm relieved also that you guys don't know who he is, that he's not that famous. It makes me feel so much better. Trust me. (as I breathe a sigh of relief: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Dreams with your other half are sometimes the best form of communication I've learned, when you're both out there...learning what you have to learn independently, and can't be together. It's a form of dropping in on each other every once in a while to say "hi" and that you still are in communication in some way. The dreams I've had with my other half are always different than dreams I have when other people are in them. Dreams with my other half usually aren't that long (unless we're having a conversation...then it's hours in a dream, and I can't remember most of it when I wake up )

Sounds like your other half has some stuff to work out, as does mine. Let's just grin and bear it for as long as possible, and let them do what they need to do for themselves on their path. It's just always hard to be the one who is at the end of the path watching them as they stumble their way home

posted December 24, 2000 01:14 AM         

------------------
"and the Mind will, through the Brain .. restore the memory
of the former Body Temple identity to the newly-discovered one
until finally, he or she will recall all which passed before

posted December 24, 2000 05:03 PM         

YIVY, I totally agree with you. He has to be on his own. I've already been on my own and developed spiritual growth long before him since he was married and had just gotten a place of his own a few months ago..finally on his own, alone.

Can't talk much now cuz of Mom

Love to you all

posted December 27, 2000 06:56 PM         

Thank YOU again LINDA GOODMAN!!!

It's great to hEar what all is being Learned again!! THANK YOU!!

GOOD 'LUCK" to You MELE, and You- Gooberlily for everything you have gone through there's those pearls in the Sea of LOVE and heartstrings that need reKnewing in our musical spirits!!
YOU ARE ALL WONDERFUL BEings!!!

With and withOUT Old man INput~

Love&Light ~bryan

Light Touch