posted April 23, 2008 04:46 PM         

Not sure the risk or the "it's my life and i'll do what l want" really comes into it.
Similar argument to those pro abortion saying "it''s my baby so i'll get rid of it if l want to"... totally disregarding the fact one has been chosen.

posted April 23, 2008 06:07 PM         

Not to say that anything will happen because i'm still quite uncertain whether he is romantically inclined my way or whether he needs to be needed. Which i do need him, perhaps that's Uranus at work, but seeeecretly i feel EXTREMELY sensitive toward him... misery is not the word...

And anyways, I was thinking about this earlier, and since he and i don't have any Mars/Venus aspects, doesn't that already deem our relationship strictly a friends? I mean, we have the Venus/Pluto sextile, but i'm VENUS, and therefore feel it more. He may not even feel it at all for all i freaking know..

posted April 23, 2008 08:38 PM         

Seems to me if you're "best friends" it'll come to a gropefest eventually. And I understand your intention to keep it secret and just get it out of your system so that you can all move on and nobody will get hurt. And I'm not judging. But keep in mind that there are many ways for a wife to find out that her husband has been with another woman, even if everyone is being super-discreet. I have no advice for you that hasn't been given by everyone else already. All I can say is that I'm beginning to believe in the karma thing. I had a psychic/medium reading recently and one of the messages I got from my spirit guides related to karma and how I should refrain from certain behavior due to karma. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but since I know the source is pure, I am heeding the advice.

posted April 23, 2008 08:53 PM         

If you respect the sanctity of marriage, and yourself, you will stay away. You are not a bad person, just someone who is so consumed with their feelings that you cannot see right from wrong. Messing with a married man is WRONG. Karma is real...and it's a b****.

Do you date at all? Maybe you should go out with some other guys, closer to your own age, and see if your feelings for this guy will maybe lessen a bit.

posted April 24, 2008 08:26 AM         

In your case, him being married changes things a lot though. Plus, 18 and 40 are so different.

If I were you, I'd leave the job. If you stay, with the attraction you described, something's going to happen. But I guess you've already accepted that you're ok with that.

His Venus is aspected. It trines all your Cancer placements--Venus, Chiron, and Jupiter.

posted April 24, 2008 08:31 AM         

I know you just want to go for it, but consider following Belage's advice and waiting out the Uranus transit to see if you still feel the same. I don't want to minimize what you two have, but you can still enjoy your connection w/o acting on the sexual attraction.

posted April 24, 2008 02:14 PM         

"this guy will soon have his Uranus opposition. tUranus is moving up on his Venus in the 5th. He will also soon have his Neptune sq Neptune. Both these generational aspects can make one extremely unhappy with what one has and where one is in life."

in other words, the guy is having a mid-life crisis.

Uranus and Neptune are generational aspects that are coming up soon, and Uranus is coming up on his Venus in the 5th House...)

posted April 24, 2008 03:57 PM         

I understand that most of you look down upon my situation, and rightly so. I completely understand, and agree that marriage is something to be respected. For this reason i want the relationship to be secret, NOT because i just want to "get it out of my system". I don't want it out of my system. I don't want to be this melancholy over anyone else, i want it to be him and remain only him (as immature as that seems and sounds...) I'm not interested in a fling, or one night stand. I want a relationship, not simply an act of passion. Love is what i want from him, which is why i posted this, to found out whether or not he could be in love with me. I just need to know that all of my struggling hasn't been in vain...

Dating isn't for me either, as my loyalty lies elsewhere and i would be incapable of giving what another partner needs and deserves. So therefore, i'd be lying and just end hurting someone, which i have no intention of doing.

posted April 24, 2008 08:10 PM         

Most of us are just telling you to be careful because we know the possible consequences of such. It's like being protective. Ok?

posted April 24, 2008 09:59 PM         

I don't agree that no man will leave his wife - I'm living proof that one man did. I think it's rare, but it does happen once in a blue moon. It's always messy, though, and sometimes you find that when all the dust settles, you're not sure if he made the best move for him. Or for you.

posted April 24, 2008 11:30 PM         

Like someone else said, I understand that sometimes, we have to go through certain things in order to learn certain lessons.

Just know that from an astrological standpoint, wisdom and benevolence are not in your corner, because transiting Jupiter in Capricorn is exactly opposing your Venus. Transiting Mars is exactly conjunct your Venus, and Uranus also trining your Venus makes you even more willing to buck established rules. It is a very rare configuration to have at any time in life, so I do understand the compelling nature of what's happening to you.

posted April 24, 2008 11:44 PM         

Your guy's nUranus is about to be opposed by tUranus and this will be within orb by a less than 7 degrees (or it is already...), if I am not mistaken, this means that his midlife crisis is gaining momentum, so in a few days/months, you might get your wishes, and he might explode, and take out his anguish and frustrations through you, by using you as an out-let for his "need for change".

It is imperative that you understand what role you could be playing in his life. And that, although he might be engaging with you positively, this entire thing could be his way to break free, to stroke his ego by having a young woman still find interest in him, and that you could just be an innocent pawn on his road to transformation and unexpected Uranian changes.

His 9th house ruler is Cancer, which signifies that he might be religious and/or very faithful to the religion of his upbringing/family. If he is part of any religion that believes that cheating is wrong, it might mean that he is unlikely to break that personal sacred covenant. And if he believes the saying, "in sickness and in health, till death do us part..." it means that he will believe that more intensely than most people. Also, his Moon in the 9th house makes him adaptable which means that he can feel at home away from home, so just because he feels at home with you doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t feel at home at his home. It just means that he can go with the flow and enjoys himself wherever he chooses.

How does this apply to you, meta_4?

Well, it means that he might be all talk and no action. MIGHT, not definitely so.

But... I wouldn't have made such an observation if there wasn't something else that backs this up. You see, his Sun and Saturn conjunct in Aries can make him a little careful too - with the Saturn decreasing the Sun's initiative to take action, because we all know how restricting Saturn can be. Now Saturn adds discipline to his persona (Sun), meaning that he might not be as risky as he likes to believe, or as risky as he would like you to believe.

His Moon in the 9th house signifies that his day dreams are likely not to be manifested into reality, as they would have in another house. He may desire you, but it means that he does not necessarily intend to actualize his feelings. But he does think with his heart and emotions so he could act upon his feelings for you, but this placement, along with his spirituality could mean that his faith/religious beliefs and philosophies will decide how he acts in this situation, not his feelings for you.

His Venus in the 5th House tells us a little about the kind of woman he desires. He desires a woman with whom he can show off to the world. Showing off a relationship does not go hand in hand with a secret affair that the two of you plan. So, this could mean that the secrecy of the relationship might make the union less worthwhile for him. This placement also means that he is a popular person who (if he has children) is unlikely to lose face to the kids, wife and community because it means a lot to him to be viewed well in the public eye. It also signifies an experience with betrayal, and with tUranus conjunct his Venus, he could have experienced betrayal from his wife and could be acting out, or he is about to betray the wife, if he hasn't already with someone other than you. I know not enough about the guy to know which is which. Venus in 5th makes him a romantic and a risk taker, so you might be lucky there, but his romantic nature could just flip and be experienced through his wife too, and not you, so...

Speaking about Venus, it is square his Moon. This signifies a commitment phobe type of person, and since he has already committed to his wife, another commitment might be difficult to forge. He fears losing his freedom, he fears being over-powered and that’s probably where you come in because he could be using you as a way to rebel against his current feelings of being dominated or limited. But also, he might avoid you as a love interest because once you are involved with him, you will have power over him because of the secret that you share. He might also fear commitment with you at a later stage, if you ever demand it from him in the future. So, this means that he might not be a good investment for a person like you who claims to desire something more than a "one-night stand".

This aspect makes him insecure too, so you could be just building up his ego and making him feel manly, desirable and young again.

Also, his Venus opposed Pluto means that he is the master of manipulations, and he is often trying to exhibit something which is not. This ties in well with his popularity because being popular requires a certain image that needs to be kept up. But, apart from his image, it means for you, he can play games of the mind and make you believe things that aren’t there. So, it is best to be careful. This aspect also means he has difficulty in letting go even if it is pain that he has to let go of. So, even if his relationship with his wife sucks, he is more likely to stay with her due to this aspect and work through it, or live with it as it is. Read this link: http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/venusplutoaspects.html

So, what is my take on this? I apologize if I am harsh...

If you have to ask a third party about something, it usually signifies doubt of some sort. That, meta_4, is your soul telling you to open your eyes because you might be missing something important.

This guy might not have made a move for practical reasons in the past like "statutory rape" so he could have just been careful so that could explain why he waited so long.

From his chart, without looking at your chart, he can be a confused man. Look after your own and take it from me, keep away from this one "for now". Let his midlife crisis end and see if his feelings are still the same. Also, give yourself the same opportunity to verify your feelings by seeing if you will feel like this in a year. I doubt you will wait, but... I had to ask.

And, you will fall in love again. I promise you that. You will fall in love with someone available, someone who will hold your hand and kiss you in public with pride, and someone who will have less drama than this guy. But... as I said, it's up to you.

I am sorry of I was just telling you bad news, I tried to be objective.

Sincerely

Unmoved.

Other links to read are below:
Here's a little story of the Uranus opp: http://blogcritics.org/archives/2007/02/24/195240.php
And more on tUranus opp nUranus: http://www.atimeforsuccess.com/articles/midlife.htm
This is a good one on the "midlife crisis": http://astrodynamics.blogspot.com/2008/01/midlife-is-hard-of-course.html
An interesting article on Neptune transits: http://www.lynnkoiner.com/astrology-articles/neptune-transits

posted April 25, 2008 09:47 AM         

all i know is that sometimes there is no point in giving advice to a person because in the end they will do what they want anyway.

at 17 i thought i already knew everything there was to know about life, relationships etc. but i have learned so much more since then, and i am now in my mid-30s. and i keep on learning everyday.

it is not possible to learn about everything through first hand experience. that's why it's good to look around you and learn through the experiences of others. those who have been there definitely know what they are talking about.

the momentary bliss of sexual communion with a married person would be just that -- temporary. but the pain of knowing that he is committed to a wife that he goes home to every night is more long lasting, it could haunt you for years. the wife may not know about it, you can lie to her, but YOU cannot lie to yourself. on occasions that you meet her, you will feel like the biggest hypocrite on earth for being oh-so-chummy with her, or you may hate her for being a barrier to your happiness and then you will hate yourself later.

again guys, those are just my thoughts based on my experiences...

META_4

posted April 25, 2008 01:31 PM         

There's an incredible amount of hard-won wisdom in this thread and I don't think I can add much of anything, other than my personal experience.

I've been the Other Woman before, when I was young and only knew that I loved and wanted someone. I probably would not have listened to advice then, but looking back I wish I had. The *inevitable* pain will be with you for many years. Sometimes you have to let go of what you love and move on -- the pain of that is less than the pain of hurting others and lying to others (two things you say you don't want to do). Although I have forgiven myself for my youthful indiscretions, to this day I still feel bad about the spouse that I hurt. My selfish pleasures caused someone else great pain. And I never saw the man again.

But at 17, one feels invincible, I suppose.....
Listen to your inner heart -- you already know what is right and what is wrong:

quote:

---

And the absolute LAST thing i wish for his to hurt his family. Through hurting them, i'm hurting him and therefore digging my own grave.

---

posted April 25, 2008 11:49 PM         

I understand that all of your intentions are to help me, and for that i'm grateful, believe me. However, you fail to see this through my point of view. Right now, you are looking at this objectively, with knowledge that you all have learned from past experiences. Unfortunately, though i consider myself to be mature, the urgent nature of my feelings has rendered me handicapped to logic. I cannot rationalize. I know that right here, right now, i'm feeling this immense demand for someone. And i cannot stress enough that, most likely, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. You see, despite the fact that i care enough about him for the both of us, it takes two to tango. Which is why i asked for synastry help in the first place. I wanted to know whether the love was mutual. And that's all i'd need to know. If he would just say to me, "I love you, but i cannot be with you, ever..." i would be content. Just knowing that his heart rests in my chest would soothe my soul... i don't need a physical demonstration or a sexual declaration. But, much to my demise, i'm placing my bets that he views me platonically, even though he has let me romance him with vulnerable words..

*Another Sigh* I'm sorry, to all of you really. To him, to his family, and to myself. But... 'twas never my intention for this to happen. I didn't decide one day to need him. And Astrologically speaking, i'm screwed. I cannot get out of this. Just because i don't "go for it" doesn't mean i'm going to forget it. How could i? How... BLAH!

posted April 27, 2008 01:36 PM         

i hadnt noticed yet though that his saturn lies in his 5th please be careful these people often find that they are very autonomous on the emotional level, yet they demand constant attention, and, as liz greene says, a 5th house saturn can make a person act like they never really receive enough love and are like a jug with no bottom,

u are young and i think this infatuations are common, i still have them at 36! the only thng i am saying is that his chart provides u with a unique insight into himself that not even him might understand so look at it carefully before taking a decision...

posted May 17, 2008 06:08 AM         

Meta,

You could jump into this sea of passion with both feet and three cheers and come out of it with the knowledge that comes from having experienced it. You'll have caused a great deal of sorrow and pain for all those involved, but somewhere inside, you'll hold onto what you had, even if you come to regret it. It's that selfishness that's inside all of us. We all want to covet something.

But the way I see it, you're incredibly intelligent and eloquent, and you're 17 - wow. I think you're doing an amazing job of exploring the depths of your own passion, and it is this that probably makes you who you are. However, I need you to know that your world is just going to get bigger and better. Today all you're seeing is him. I know that feeling, the one where you don't even *want* the world to get bigger if it means you'll lose sight of him. It's a beautiful idea in and of itself but a truly sad one to live out. Passion turns into something ugly when it's inhibited and this situation (his marriage, the large gap in age, his feelings or lack thereof, etc) is full of restraints.

If you do proceed you'll definitely be limiting yourself and you'll feel it, for sure. The secretiveness (another Scorpio thing) of it is alluring - for now - but that evaporates almost instantly. I have my moon in Scorpio and I can't stomach any kind of dishonesty. That allure today is the same thing that you'll find revolting tomorrow.

That said, you sound like an amazing person, surely bound to knock the socks off some lucky guy one fine day. I say, channel your passion into yourself and live for the day when you get your own socks knocked off, and be able to sing about it from rooftops! Because, TRUST ME, you'll want to let everyone know about it.

posted May 17, 2008 06:15 AM         

But attractions happen all the time. The question isn't 'Does he feel the same/something for me?' but 'Does he feel as deeply for me as I do him?'

posted May 18, 2008 07:45 PM         

Sarai, thank you for all of the complements. They made me blush. ^_^

Thank you all for the information and advice you have shared. Honestly.

To be honest, i think you're right. Right in the sense that, if/when we would ever get together, it would be sincere, poignant love from me, but not as much from him. I know that, i know and i don't want to swallow it. I don't want to accept the fact that he would complete me, but i fail to complete him. I CAN'T accept that. How could i? How could i ever walk away from this relationship when he's got me by the soul? And I just... I WON'T do that.

I mean, Venus sex Pluto, Moon Conj Venus, Venus trine Venus/Jupiter/Chiron, Juno Conj Juno, i can't escape it.

Sarai, i believe it was you who said that i don't *want* the world to expand if that means that i'll lose sight of him. You're correct.