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Author Topic:   Aquarius man, there must be SOMETHING good to say?
noreenz
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posted March 21, 2006 11:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for noreenz     Edit/Delete Message
my 2 cents....lol

Fayte, just lettin her wisdom shine, said,

"Aquarians will play with you like a kid! "No matter how old"... if they can just be free acting with you.
Snow angels...tree houses...laying out together at night watching the sky and wishing on falling stars. Sunsets/Sunrises..It is a sad thing to see an Aquarian lose their "child" within.
Foster their playful child side and magic moments can indeed happen!"

Nihilive....."I find that many aquarians are masters of trickery and deception. Not to mention straight out liars and procrastinators. You should never expect anything of them, as everything they accomplish is usually force of will from someone within their sphere of influence. In all, I find that aquarians like to find individuality in the sense that they take many different individual qualities from other people to make them up as a whole.
The liars and the deceptors. The plague of mankind."

OUCH.

I stopped reading after your post, so I apologize if perhaps this was already said.....I hope with the love and guidance of others here, you'll be able to let some of your anger disolve.... Sorry if this sounds a lil preachy. I'm sorry you feel so wronged by Aquas. I'll give ya the "procrastination" part though.

I don't even know if Magus jumped back in to voice his opinion. lol In any event, just know that: I LOVE AQUARIANS, LOL...
Noreen

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Planet_Soul
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posted March 21, 2006 12:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Planet_Soul     Edit/Delete Message
There was once an Aqua in my life. He had many good qualities to him, things which I remember fondly. The conflict between us was his view of appropriate men/women behaviors. He would go out and party and have loads of freedom, while I did not. When I would go out with my friends, he would act as if it was fine with him. Later, he would tell me that women who go out aren't to be taken "seriously". I would tried to change myself for him, but yeah it got tiresome. Felt more he was a disapproving parent and I the rebellious kid.

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Mama Mia
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posted March 21, 2006 12:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Yes indeedy sounds like a Aqua I know too...

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sue g
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posted March 21, 2006 01:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Mmmm....

I must admit I have know Aqua men with this double standard thing too...

My ex was a little like this. When we used to go out he would flirt with all the women and expect me to be okay with it (a Scorpio woman,,,,yeah right), I remember once he had a girl sat on his lap and he was squeezing her breasts...

When we got home I went crazeeeeee at him and he didnt get why?

If I was to be attracted to other men, he would get all moody on me.....

Oh God I hate this......its very difficult to deal with, isnt it....

I still love em tho......AQUARIAN MEN......!!!!

xxx

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hippichick
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posted March 21, 2006 01:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Yea, me too.

But girls, they KNOW we love them.

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fayte.m
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posted March 21, 2006 03:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
Me too!
But...
I have no qualms about giving them what for either!

And guess what?
The honest ones stay my friends!
The ones who want to grow...
maybe not yet but eventually....

They want me to not hold back even if they do not like what I am saying.....

They know I am never going to head game on them ever.
So I do not get headgamed back.
I will not tolerate games.
I guess that is why I can get along with them.
Love me or not.
I am going to be brutally honest and me.
I let them choose.

I avoid my Aquarian homophobic relative.
He said if his boys turned gay he would kill them and then commit suicide.
I told him...
Dude...you got religion and now you have went back in the closet. So you could not handle your own bisexuality....
And you say you love your sons...but would kill them if they became just like you "were"?
That is not love dear one, but your own self denial demons talking and you freaking know it!
He begain crying and hung up. Have not talked to him in a couple of years. Except at the grocery store briefly.
Being out of work was making him feel worthless.
He seemed embarrassed to see me but was civil and even hugged me.
So I feel that on some level I may have reached him.
Time will tell.
We were very close until he married a much much younger Christian girl who is a homophobe.
Aquarians often blurt out stuff in their emotional turmoils they do not really mean.

But it sure can sound awful!

As children they are often some of the first kids to tell their parents in juvenile anger outbursts..."I wish you were dead!".
But later feel very badly about it...unless the threat was caused by real abuse to them.

Their bark is uually bigger than their bite.
And that frustrates them too.

But underneath many do mean well.
And I think the decan the Aquarian is in can also be a factor.

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hippichick
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posted March 21, 2006 04:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Fayte

You so smart

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Mama Mia
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posted March 21, 2006 04:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Yes I agree on the decan aspect it makes a huge difference..Also head games you can't go there with them if you want to keep things on the up and up. I keep things on the up and up you want to play head games you will be playing by yourself..

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BlueTopaz124
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posted March 21, 2006 09:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
What I have found is Aquarian men do not like someone having the emotional upper hand or to be 'head-gamed' by someone in the emotional department. It's a desperate feeling for them, an emotion they are unable to handle (well, not that anyone is, but feel Aquarians are especially at at loss) I love Aquarians too, though, and can relate very closely to/with this sign especially.

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Planet_Soul
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posted March 21, 2006 11:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Planet_Soul     Edit/Delete Message
(: My Aqua ex used to say he was loath to wear his heart on his sleeve. His reasoning was that if he didn't give 100% of his heart, then it wouldn't hurt as much should his love not be returned or found worthy of trust.

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ILove
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posted March 22, 2006 12:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ILove     Edit/Delete Message
hippichick.....Thanks for sharing about your girls. I was thinking a lot about these last few days, and that you have raised them to be independent and reliant on themselves. I have a three year old who dreams of happily ever after, the typical Disney princess ending. She talks of getting married and I think, oh my, what have I done! I tell her that finding your true love is great, but that she has her life to love and fullfilling her dreams and aspirations. It just makes me sad because I have given up so many parts of me since being married and it has rubbed off on her. As a stay at home mom, I have even heard myself saying, we'll ask dad for money for this and that! OMG! I'm so excited to get on with my goals and dreams! Thanks to you!

BlueTopaz124...No I have not tried exercise, and you know what I remember doing my chart back before getting married and that was a key to my mental health. Just another thing I let go by the wayside. I have been using meditation to some extent, more creative visualization to see myself free and able to move on my own. I was given this advice by SunChild. Thanks Laura!

fayte.m
Yes, stressed and I am afraid I will be until I get out of this controling marriage. I have been trying to use creative visualization.

Eyesight - my right eye hurts, feels strained, and sometimes slightly blurry

Sleeping O.K. - NO

I am able to move everything except the right side of my face, but I am fatigued and have vertigo sometimes terribly.

sue g
I feel for ya. And atleast he is an ex! My mom is a scorp and she would have went crazy!

Sorry, no love for Aqua's w/ fire moon's right now, maybe next year!

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fayte.m
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posted March 22, 2006 01:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
Ouch
You sound like you are going through a couple of similar things as I too did some years back.
I wish I could offer you some ways to cope.
But ultimately getting out of the stressful situation may be the only way.
My second situation involved moving to a better area...or stay and keep getting attacked and shot at.
First situation was the control freak, now ex-spouse.

Exercise will rarely help the kind of stress you describe.
In fact combined with that type of stress...too much exercise can bring on terrible exhaustion and lead to fibromyalgia or CFIDS. And accidents. Which is what happened to me,

You need to rest! Sleep too.

If you can meditate even for a few moments at a time and tell your self..."I WILL GET THROUGH THIS!"...and keep moving forward, and work to get out of this situation...such short meditations and affirmations can give you a focus for the future.

I was newly disabled when I "walked" away from one of my situations. It was not easy. No heat..no money..no food. No stove..no fridge. Bag of clothes..a mattress and blankets. It was cold, winter, and lonely. But I had to "save" myself.

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fayte.m
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posted March 22, 2006 02:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
Planet_Soul
quote:
"His reasoning was that if he didn't give 100% of his heart, then it wouldn't hurt as much should his love not be returned or found worthy of trust."

*********That is very much an Aquarian way of seeing things. I have heard many Aquarian males express much the same.

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hippichick
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posted March 22, 2006 02:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Planet and Fayte

How do you suppose they are able to not give 100%? I tend to give that and more.

lLove

Keep it up, you are doing great! Thoughts are things, keep a picture in your mind and hold it there, you being strong with your kids by your side, expand on that, be very detailed, VISUALIZE exactly what you want and you will recieve. And, your kids will be fine, mine went through some awful crap, saw way too much for children but it has made them who they are today!

Terri

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sue g
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posted March 23, 2006 10:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
hippichick

Hope you dont mind me answering yer question girl.

I think its because they fear intimacy/rejection and being the sign of humanitarianism, they tend to feel more comfortable in group situations.

My ex was fantastic socially but I know on an intimate one to one, he felt most uncomfortable, especially with someone as passionate and challenging as me !!!

Of course Aquas like all of us need love, but they do tend at times to push it away.

Do you know what my Aqua ex said to me when I asked him why why why did he treat me this way he replied "I had a death wish on you, I wanted to see how far I could push you over the edge and then pull you back to me again"...

Sorry if I have repeated that story elsewhere....but for me it depicts perfectly what we speak of.....

love

Sue xxx

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fayte.m
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posted March 23, 2006 11:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
Yes Sue
That seems right to me to.
But it is not that they are happier in a group...just feel less committed to any one person...safer that way.
Finding Love often involves risk...and chancing heartbreak.
Once an Aquarian male gets his heart broken....or feels he has been rejected....real or imagined...or blown out of proportion...a mis-communication perhaps....
He steels himself against emotional intimacy with each new situation. With each new emotionally intimate encounter, or potential for one...becoming more callous and jaded. Bitter even.
Unable to even try to trust after one too many times of being hurt.
He chooses loneliness over rejection and heartbreak...becoming a hopeless yearning romantic as time passes. Or giving into random acts of passion in hopes it may become something deeper.
But it rarely does.

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Mama Mia
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posted March 23, 2006 11:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Uh the thought of that makes me sick...
Aqua men really can be viewed as being twisted. That is why they rarely allow themselves to experience soul growth.
It sick and cowardly point blank..

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Planet_Soul
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posted March 23, 2006 01:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Planet_Soul     Edit/Delete Message
Hello again Ladies (:


I am not certain of what my ex meant by saying he holds back. My guess is that it was the way he would detach emotionally in situations most people would respond emotionally. One example was cheating/affairs. When asked how he would react upon discovering his love/wife in an affair "I wouldn't react. I would look her in the eye, and turn and walk away. I know this would hurt her more than a jealousy scen, and I would save face. I would never allow anyoen to see they have hurt me" Being in an immature phase, I decided to test him once. I gave out my # to another guy in front of him, to see if he would react. He didn't. He still took me home and dropped me off without so much as a comment. Another example was the journal he used to keep of his drawings and poems. I was able to convince him to read me a poem he'd wrote about me. He agreed, but only read one verse saying it was "too personal to share". The verse was beatiful but he never did read me the whole thing nor actually show me the journal. Throughout our relationship, I felt he held back a lot. He showed he cared in practical ways, by being the best listener ever and offering rational solutions. He wasn't one to declare romance and love in the way most people think of romance. At the time, my Pisces Moon didn't understand the depth of an Aquarian way. SInce he wasn't openly emotional, I used to feel very insecure about his affection. Out of fear and foolishness, I would constantly "test" him by making him jealous. Eventually this and other incompatiabilites drove us to an end. It took a long time to get over him, as I mostly blamed my insecurities for the break-up. I had connected with him in a way I hadn't with anyone else, and so I idealized him in a way. It has taken time, but I am glad that I now see the relationship in a more balanced way. I am able to look back and see his faults as well as qualities and my qualities as well as his faults. In the end, I would say that if you have earned the trust of an Aqua, cherish it. Aquas don't jsut trust anyone, and when you lose their trust you also lose their respect and love. They will then detach and shut you out of their life, forever. Trust and friendship is crucial to Aquas, without no relationship will last.

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fayte.m
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posted March 23, 2006 02:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
That is why I rather be their friend than romantic partner.
They do not get as cranked up over things in a non sexual relationship.
Sex with one can be a riot!
Friends with one can be good and even enduring.

But both?
Maybe...
at least until romance comes in...then things often go bad....
I wish I knew a happy Aquarian who could be a friend, sexual and romantic...with a lasting comittment to love and faithfulness.
I knew some who did...or thought they did. But those relationships died when the sexual passion grew old. All failed because the Aquarian believed he might be missing some new sexual thrill. But each new lover was just that..."new"...and nothing more. In time each one became boring, and off the Aquarian was for The "new".
Anyone know an Aquarian male in a long long term relationship who is still happy? And their partner still happy also?

I personally do not know any.

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fayte.m
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posted March 23, 2006 02:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
Planet_Soul
Quote:
I would say that if you have earned the trust of an Aqua, cherish it. Aquas don't jsut trust anyone, and when you lose their trust you also lose their respect and love. They will then detach and shut you out of their life, forever. Trust and friendship is crucial to Aquas, without no relationship will last.

>>>THAT is so true!
And one more tip..which you so clearly illustrated...
NEVER PLAY JEALOUSY GAMES!
That would be the death knell of a relationship or even friendship with one.
NO HEAD GAMES EVER!

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Mama Mia
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posted March 23, 2006 02:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Whatever the way that I see it they should cherish others friendship they are so darn stuck in a dysfunctional way about love that it ain't funny. Lily girl said something back in this thread if I have to with draw my love and go about ways that are not normal as to how I show my affection beit a friendship or a relationship then that person cannot be my friend or anything. It should not be that complicated to show affection and love is healthy not sick and sad the way they see it.

As far as the jealousy thing goes bc they are so out of touch with their feelings they like to be jealous cause that is how they know if they care about you or not which is so twisted it stinks.

I have up and down feelings for Aqua men and right now my feelings are down and nothing can make me think that I should feel cherished to be a friend with one when I know that affection and showing love and other things of that nature is perfectly normal. They can shut down cause when they do I shut down right with them. They need counseling if you ask me... Any one that is that way!!!!!

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sue g
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posted March 23, 2006 02:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Oh MM

So sorry girl for the way you feel......

Bless you.....

Sending love and understanding

xxxx

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Mama Mia
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posted March 23, 2006 02:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message

Sue:
Yes I am not feeling the best towards Aqua's today this is true And what I said was true also...They blow me...

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fayte.m
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posted March 23, 2006 02:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
Mama Mia
Just because I understand them does not mean I will allow one to stomp on me.
And yes...them or anyone with those kind of emotional and comittment issues really should consider counselling.
And yes..often they only seem to value something once it is gone or pretend to hate it.
Romantically/emotionally/sexually.....personally I am not interested. Too many games. Which is funny because they hate games done to them.
I really do not know how to have an intimate relationship with one that involves sex and love. Always in the back of my mind would be that they WILL stray. I just will not put myself in that situation.

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Mama Mia
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posted March 23, 2006 02:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Ok Faye I understand that but how about when one is your Twinsoul how do you get rid of that???

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