posted December 22, 2011 05:47 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
To be fair, though, some Leos that I've known are a bit cold and unresponsive, even when I have tried to be nice--not because I wanted to suck up, but because I honestly just wanted to be kind to that person. I tend to just be that way. If I like a person, I will give him/her (sincere) compliments. I won't compliment a person insincerely, but I will be sure to notice his/her good points and what he/she does well. I don't understand why people are unresponsive to that. It's not like I say inappropriate things. I'll say something like "I really appreciate your hard work" or "I really appreciate you taking the time to do ___; I know that you have a lot to do". Things like that. I mean what I say to people when I give them compliments, but they aren't always appreciative. I don't understand that. Would certain other things in a chart make a person less inclined to like compliments, even sincere ones?

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posted December 22, 2011 05:50 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
A few more questions (I don't mean to overload or anything, but given how badly I get along with Leos, and how many of them I know/have around me--God has one hell of a sense of humor--I really need all the help that I can get with them).

*How do you know when a Leo is legitimately busy/forgetful and when they just don't like you--how do you tell the difference?

*For a Leo who is in a position of authority/leadership, how do you know that they see your good points and not just your faults, especially when they don't say ANYTHING (non-verbal Virgo Mercury types)? How do you know if they will consider you for a role in the organization that you want to have? How do you know that they can change their negative opinion of you enough to give you a chance to shine--a chance that you've been seeking for a long time? How do you get them to see that you're deserving of this chance without bending over backwards to please them (which does not work) and without them thinking that you're fake or something?

To be very honest, it's hard for me sometimes to pick up on those things in anyone, not just Leos, but with Leos (especially guys), I have particular difficulty, more so than with other signs.

I'm also a VERY verbal person, so I get very, very aggravated and annoyed when people will not respond to me (honestly, that along with ingratitude and annoying noise is probably my biggest pet peeve in the world). I also get frustrated when they won't tell me something that I need to know (and I'm not talking about things that are nosy; I'm talking about giving me some kind of indication about what they think of me so that I can know this). This adds to my difficulty with Virgo Mercury people. So, this is why I ask about other clues/unsaid clues. For me, WORDS are what make things official, so when I have no words, it's hard for me to feel like things are set or stable. I realize that others don't function this way, so I'm curious to know how they DO function, since it isn't really clear to me.

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...Omfg...*facepalm*...If you're actually like this with them then no wonder why they were annoyed with you lol.

Okay, I said this before - when a Leo doesn't like you you'll have no doubts about that because they'll pretty much come out and say "I can't f**king stand you" and then go out of their way to not be around you, or to run you off if you approach them.

And if a Virgo Mercury had a problem with you or your work or anything else, they'd definitely nitpick and lecture and point that stuff out to you.

If they aren't doing that, and if they haven't yelled at you to go away, then again, you're fine with them. But I promise you if you constantly hound them and won't get over it and drop it, if you're anything with them like you are on here, they'll end up having a problem with you all over again, real soon.

posted December 22, 2011 05:54 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Hm. I suppose that it means different things to different people.

I can see a few different types.

The first type is when you dislike a person just because a family member/friend/someone that you like dislikes that person, without considering that perhaps your family member/friend/person you like also did something bad to hurt that other person and is also at fault.

The second type would be if you don't like a person just because of who they hang around with--disapproval. To be fair, though, as you pointed out with Nazis and Hitler, I do feel like *this* type can be justified in some circumstances. It's not justified in the sense of racism/sexism/things like that, but I don't feel that it's unreasonable to dislike a person who belongs to, say, a racist/hateful group--or at least to dislike that person's beliefs and the fact that they actively participate in hate.

So, I'd say that the first type is unfair, second type can be fair in some cases. The exception that I would make to the first type is if the person hates an abuser/sex offender/some other sort of dangerous and perhaps even criminal person.

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Now. We are getting somewhere baby! Yes. If your friends or family dislike someone you shouldn't agree with them until you know that person individually. It would be absolutely WRONG to judge someone based on hearsay. That is a lot of what is wrong with people these days. Very Good distinction! I am impressed.

posted December 22, 2011 06:18 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Well, I have been trying to not apologize. I haven't apologized to ANYONE at all in my life--lions and others alike--at all this week, not even once!

I'm learning more about nodes right now and realize that I have to be more like Aries. (My north node is Aries; south is Libra). Honestly, I do care what people think of me; I really want people to like me and if one person doesn't, I tend to obsess a bit. I just hate it when people don't like me. I know, I know, that's SUCH a Libra thing. I get that. However, I've been trying this week (since I started learning about this) to let go, command a bit more respect, and not let people walk all over me.

I also try not to *say* anything when people are unresponsive. It is a pet peeve and gets on my damn nerves, but (a) I do know that this is a pet peeve and so I try to consider that this makes me more irritated than it would other people and (b) I get frustrated, but I don't say anything about it openly.

I'll also point out that this rule is null and void when I feel secure. If I feel secure with someone, I don't feel this kind of aggravation because I know that they still care. Words make me feel like people care and that they think that I'm OK. Silence makes me worry that something awful is coming. I do know, on some level, that this is extreme black-and-white thinking, and that for some, silence is soothing. For me, it's anxiety-producing. However, I am trying to be more assertive like Aries, my south node, and not let it get to me.

The other thing that I'm trying to remember is that other people don't use silence like I do. I use it as a weapon when I am ****** with a capital 'p'. If I don't like you, I tend not to blow up. I just act like you do not exist and will not speak to you or even acknowledge you at all. So, I have to keep training myself to remember that other people (who *don't* have Venus in Scorpio) don't do that. I'm trying to get myself to really believe that other people use silence differently. I use it as a katana. They might use it as...I don't know, something less destructive. ;-)

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Yeah, don't apologize if you didn't do anything wrong, and if you did, do and then leave it at that. Don't obsess over it and keep apologizing, it just makes things awkward and then turns annoying as hell.

posted December 22, 2011 06:32 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
--to be honest, the same thing occurred to me (i.e., that they're over things and just going about business as usual). I'm also trying hard to train myself not to apologize or agonize over things. I do worry in the case of one Leo that past issues may prevent me from moving up in our organization, but I am trying to be hopeful that this won't be the case.

I really think that I'm starting to learn from you guys!

I'm also wondering if perhaps one particular Leo might see me as insincere, since (a) I can be really moody and can be OK with someone at one point and aggravated the next (it happens often that I genuinely like a person, but that person does things that annoy me--I am starting to see how how that might seem insincere) and (b) since I do like to compliment (not in a vulgar/sexual/otherwise inappropriate context). I genuinely do see the good in people and just have a habit of telling people what they do well and like to be appreciative. However, I'm wondering: does this come off as fake, unintentionally? In one case, I belong to an organization in which the Leo is the leader and I want to move up (I would never want to be the leader myself, though--too much work, don't have the credentials, thankless work at tiems, too much BS hassle, no thanks!). The Leo knows that I would like to be given opportunities to advance. Even though I haven't been insincere, I am wondering if perhaps the Leo might have felt that way.

I also wonder if the Leo might think that I'm insincere because I tend to compliment a lot of people. So, if the Leo thinks that compliments are "nothing special" and that I am "just like that", perhaps that also might make the Leo feel like I've been phony.

(I'm not going to apologize, though! :-p)

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posted December 22, 2011 08:00 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

What I want from those people is to see the good in me, appreciate the good in me, acknowledge what I do (even if it's in a small way). What I want from them is to not be seen only in terms of what I do wrong, but in what I do right ,too. I want people to stop seeing me just as a burden and a pest and recognize my good points.

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No Problem, I try to speak very sincerely and from the heart. You seem to value intimacy very much, which I think sometimes in the workplace, that can become difficult. Of course by intimacy, I don't mean sexual things. You value interpersonal connections and people truly seeing you for who you are and what you are worth. You probably are VERY good at seeing a mountain of good at anyone. But, you are very much dismayed when it seems people can't see a kernel of good in you--imagined or otherwise.

And I've learned, the more I focus on my good qualities, the less others focus on the bad ones...or, perhaps, the less I really care about them focusing on the bad ones. And certainly the less I think they are focusing on the bad qualities. I see the good in me, but I ALWAYS know my flaws I am very self-critical. Then again, I am also one of those people...people love to point out my flaws and find things wrong. I mean everyone, but I've grown to deal with it. They feel they have to 'bring me down to earth' in someway (I've been told this explicitly), but it doesn't help improve whatever issues they have. I've gone through this my ENTIRE life.

You can't find ways to 'prove this or that' to the organization leader because he is a Leo or find ways to make them notice you based on what you think a Leo might be inclined to see. I know you know that already, so don't take it personally. I understand where you are coming from. Just showcase your contributions and work on being fantastic and amazing at what you do. Just be you. You seem to be a genuinely kind and thoughtful person.

And as far as someone thinking you are fake and phony, it really doesn't matter (I mean, you know if you are being phony or fake more than anyone). That is not your problem. The reality is that sometimes, people tend to feel this way about people who are 'nice.' Someone the other day made a remark about me after they had a series of conversations about me with someone I wouldn't dare trust about anything. The person almost 'injected' their opinions into the other and I was left thinking "what." Now, I don't have much respect for their ability to judge character because of it. This person was a fixed sign and the 'informant' was someone whom they 'perceive to be loyal' (when the person REALLY can't stand them, they've told me this directly--sucks, right). It is probably one of my pet peeves. Lol. And this is a 'leader' in my environment. And also, as a sidebar--everyone is not a judge of good character. But for me, intuition plays a BIG role in how I deal with people. Like...maybe an opinion is when you [think you] know something. And when I intuit something, it is beyond that though...it just...I don't know...it is. I don't really 'think' about it. And I've had the MOST stubborn of people admit they were wrong about me (or someone else) because of prejudgement.

People form their opinions about me and collect information from others everyday, and unbeknownst to them, I know. Things slip out here and there. I'd be lying if I said I am just 'ok' with it all. Who wants to be pegged as this or that and treated a certain way because of it? I wait patiently for people to awaken to their own truth rather than proving something to them. Because not only do I get to shine in my own light (instead of the shadows--the contrast is amazing, lol), but this person also gets to grow beyond a very worthless trait and evolve into a stronger person. I would prefer to be true myself, knowing that the intent of my heart is not to harm, betray or mislead anyone. I just keep being me!

Lol...and I say that to say, I haven't had many problems with Leos at all (or, I should say people who happen to be Leo suns), unless it is a scenario like I've mentioned where they are getting swayed by some strong opinion or 'respected' person ('respected' in some way significant to them, and is no small feat, it seems). And even then, the truth comes out. The Leos I know when they are have no problem admitting when they are wrong about something like that. I've even had one tell me "I thought this or that about you, but now I know you are completely different and I really like you." Lol! Hilarious right! I just laughed at it, only because I knew all along. Granted, it took months (like half a year) for them to 'get me.'

I wouldn't try and do anything to disprove any perceived 'slander' or negative opinions. If it is a more personal thing, you don't want to really give your loyalty to anyone who will not take the time to really get to know you for you. I've done it before, it sucks. Once again, that is 'IF' this is happening.

posted December 22, 2011 09:36 AM            

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
They like to brag... I know this leo moon guy who likes to brag about his achievements whenever we chitchat together. But then again, most guys like to brag i guess. :P

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posted December 22, 2011 10:00 AM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Leo guys do especially though. It's not even necessarily bragging but if you notice, allll of their stories paint them in a really positive "heroic" light. Sure you could say "Well who wants to admit their F-ups?" but... an Aries could tell a story laughing about themselves f-ing up and make it enjoyable for everybody. A Leo? Idk.... I've noticed they're not very good at laughing at themselves.

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posted December 22, 2011 10:09 AM            

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Originally posted by KingLeoLoL:
I laugh at myself all of the time, in good fun. I also don't really LIKE bragging. On the Occasion, "when I do", and most people "brag", I do it to prove a point.

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posted December 22, 2011 11:34 AM            

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Originally posted by KingLeoLoL:
Have you ever known someone who had a triple or double Leo?

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posted December 22, 2011 01:15 PM            

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Originally posted by KingLeoLoL:
Judge by association?

The one Leo said that it isn't fair to the individual. Okay so. If you see a Nazi, you wouldn't judge him negatively based on his association to Hitler?

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posted December 22, 2011 07:27 PM            

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Originally posted by KingLeoLoL:
Have you ever known someone who had a triple or double Leo?

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4x Leo here

posted December 22, 2011 07:36 PM            

Virgo seems to be your problem... because Virgo-influenced people can be critical and you take it very personally.

posted December 22, 2011 07:50 PM            

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Regardes - With the Sun&Merc in Libra combination - you would very likely get along well with someone who has a Leo Sun&Merc!

Virgo seems to be your problem... because Virgo-influenced people can be critical and you take it very personally.

Leo is very different to this ^. Leo-influence is encouraging rather than critical. But obviously if someone has both signs in their chart they will be a mix of things.

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But you'd think Virgo/Libra would get along due to their proximity and some similar personality traits?

posted December 22, 2011 08:01 PM            

But Regardes.. for whatever reason (her whole chart would need to be taken into account) is particularly sensitive to criticism. She gets very upset. And Virgo is the most critical sign... Virgo Mercury, being dignified, is the empitome of Virgo-ness (in both positive and negative ways).

posted December 23, 2011 04:21 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

Another thing that I wonder is if some people might not like me being intense. With my heavy water influence, I wonder if some have a problem with that, or, alternately, maybe don't have a problem with it, but don't know how to deal with it. Like, they can't deal with moodiness. . .

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