posted April 22, 2012 11:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lonake:

I love the free speech that we are allowed on this forum
and the fact that we can share our experiences freely

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....And kindly.

So thanks for your kindness there.

posted April 22, 2012 11:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Exactly! For instance, you could avoid use of potentially offensive words or phrases such as sexually perverse, stalker, etc. I just thought that kind of stuff was common sense But what do I know? I'm Canadian! We're in the business of being polite

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posted April 23, 2012 01:46 AM            

This is the *ultimate gray area* in the discussion.

If we are to share our experiences honestly (on this admittedly very complex topic) then we run a common risk of them being perceived in a different manner than intended. The moment we have to censor our honest experience, with our honest perceptions attached, is the moment that our free speech is in peril.

This calls to mind the issue of one misinterpreting the experience of another (their perception). One's perception should never be misinterpreted as the perception of the majority, or even the minority. This is a statement that is at the core of my argument. It takes a few things to be able to avoid this type of erroneous conclusion. One of them is just simply being able to filter opinions and detach, not throwing one's ego into the discussion (refer to sand's comments on previous page for a comical take on this area). This subject really is vast, complex, and interesting enough on its own, without injecting one's insecurities into the mix. On some days with astrology topics this is not possible, owing to that big wild card of, "just having a bad day." Barring those "black cloud days," we should be welcoming experiences of all Lindaland members who wish to chime in on the topic if it relates to their experience with astrology, since that is the main focus of this forum, astrology topics that are more advanced. And we are here primarily to share and learn.

If, on a sensitive subject (and there is much gray area as to what actually qualifies a subject as sensitive) one is to comment then one should still proceed honestly and also --keep in mind-- that others may not have had the same experience. This goes back to individual perception, and also my core argument. A debate can ensue on the subject itself, and that is common. But to debate the experience of another, in other words to demand that they justify their experience, is uncalled-for. It then remains at the sole discretion of the person who made said post to answer to the questioner. This can be seen as a form of bullying because one's right to free speech is being called into question by another who did not care for their perception. This should never be the case when one is relaying personal experiences regarding a topic in astrology.

****Remember the primary reason that this forum exists:
To share our experience in advanced astrology topics and to learn.****

posted April 23, 2012 02:51 AM            

After all you said about the topic I still read between the lines and see, "I will keep offending people and it's their problem if they get offended. I have freedom of speech."

Basically this whole topic is specifically about you, Lonake, because you are the one who thinks everyone is just being defensive, or just being too sensitive...now it's "bullying" if they take issue with your approach?

Your comment above looks completely self-serving.

If everyone seems defensive to you...logically that points to a problem with you being the origin of it.

I rarely get defensive reactions from people when I write. Yet I have the same inclination to talk about my experiences that you have. We all share our experiences here and most of it is without drama because most of us know how to phrase things so they don't come off like a broad insult.

You put your disclaimers here (ie does not apply to ALL people with this aspect), and that's good, but you should repeat that in every comment where you speak negatively.
Since, I'm sorry to say, your negativity is pretty strong.

posted April 23, 2012 03:16 AM            

quote:

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If everyone seems defensive to you

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It is only you and aquacheeka... with aquaguy sitting somewhere on the fence. This is not - everyone's- opinion.

What about Sand and RedScorp and PlanetQueen and Ami Anne and VenusdiSirius and myself?

Why should she change the way she expresses herself when so many other people are either neutral about it or like it?
I personally like it. I find it direct and straight forward. I wouldn't want her to express herself any other way.

posted April 23, 2012 03:19 AM            

Mint Girl is also a very direct - to the point poster.. and she tells it like it is. She does not sugar-coat things. I like this about her posts.
I mean should she change as well now?

posted April 23, 2012 03:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
What about Sand and RedScorp and PlanetQueen and Ami Anne and VenusdiSirius and myself?

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I saw my name and thought you were talking to me.

posted April 23, 2012 03:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Your comment above looks completely self-serving

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I would actually like Betty Boop's thoughts on my clarification because I've found her to be v.impartial, so I hope that she comes back.
[ Edit to add: I wrote this before I saw Betty Boop's posts above. ]

Unfortunately sometimes past experiences, when they contained high emotions, also filter into current perceptions.
They also cannot be accounted for.

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
If everyone seems defensive to you...logically that points to a problem with you being the origin of it.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Since, I'm sorry to say, your negativity is pretty strong.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
No need to command other people to do anything.

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I think we all want to have a pleasant experience on Lindaland.
So let's do what we can to make that happen

posted April 23, 2012 03:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lonake:
I think we all want to have a pleasant experience on Lindaland.
So let's do what we can to make that happen

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posted April 23, 2012 03:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RedScorp:
Ill-intent makes a lot of difference

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posted April 23, 2012 03:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
LL allows for freedom of self expression!

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posted April 23, 2012 04:03 AM            

Ideally No one would ever try to insult anyone and we would all move forward towards the truth together. We would leave behind personal feelings of offence or wounded ego or WHATEVER and just have a big exchange of information.

Practically We could not try carpeting the world (make everyone play nice) and instead just wear slippers (look past 'negativity' to see what is useful, such as the knowledge you have to offer, and not get caught up in the way you choose express yourself.)

EDIT! Omg it sounds like I'm tackling world issues or something. No crime should go unpunished though ideally no crime should ever take place. Ideals seem quite unreachable...someone I know was harassed once so I told them to report it and they got mad, saying, "it shouldn't have happened in the first place!" so I said, "well it did, so live with it and report it already!" and they were all, "you're so insensitive - I should not live in fear of being bullied just because I am so-and-so-sexual."

posted April 23, 2012 04:36 AM            

And I sympathize with you and your friend In high school a close friend of mine confided that she was being molested and I urged her to tell the school. Well, her mother kicked her out of the house in favor of the stepfather in response. Thankfully my family allowed her into our home in the interim while she patched things up with her mother. So, to me, it is do your best, but there are variables that cannot be accounted for.

posted April 23, 2012 04:46 AM            

lemme just find proper smiley...

I am in favour of good,brimmed with strong opinions debate. Being Defensive/Offensive can make conversation seem childish,but also reveals a lot. I like that

We should advocate un-touchiness. Yes,especially you,water people. Unproductive

BB

posted April 23, 2012 05:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
What about Sand and RedScorp and PlanetQueen and Ami Anne and VenusdiSirius and myself?

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posted April 23, 2012 07:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
It is only you and aquacheeka... with aquaguy sitting somewhere on the fence. This is not - everyone's- opinion.

What about Sand and RedScorp and PlanetQueen and Ami Anne and VenusdiSirius and myself?

Why should she change the way she expresses herself when so many other people are either neutral about it or like it?
I personally like it. I find it direct and straight forward. I wouldn't want her to express herself any other way.

Of course there are rules here about abuse and some things are inappropriate - such as personal attacks. But I don't think Lonake has done anything that is against the rules. Randall and the other mods have never mentioned her doing anything against the rules.
And aside from this episode with aquacheeka.. no one else mentioned having issues with Lonake's style.

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I recall NativelyJoan saying something as well, here: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum25/HTML/003405-2.html. Aquaguy also used the word "abrasive" but he's too good-natured to make an issue out of it.

Just wanted to point out, just because something is not mentioned doesn't mean it's not felt. Not everyone has as big of a mouth as I do, after all.