posted December 17, 2018 08:57 AM            

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Originally posted by kani:
Oh good kissing is important for me to get going but maybe that's also a gender thing (you are male right)?
I also find oral sex very intimate because I'm getting someone else's genitals in my mouth as opposed to my private parts. I don't know why but I feel like a bigger amount of trust is required for me to give someone a bj than it is to just have intercourse.

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yeah

i don't see it as very different regardless of where it's going it's all the same

i just don't feel a need to kiss someone if it's just sex, my fiancee yeah but i do that anyway

i just walk over and do that anyway

so during sex with her that comes naturally, but if i'm not going to kiss a person when we're just sitting beside each other i'm not going to kiss them during sex probably unless they feel like it in which case i don't care either way

it's just about having fun anyway and part of that is indulging the other person

i don't really see a difference in trust or vulnerability one way or another though sex doesn't make me feel vulnerable aside from maybe "don't choke me to death unless it's by accident"

but i mean, that still doesn't really cross my mind in the moment, i care about sensation mine and theirs; there's not a single thought in my head other than that

so it's just a matter of whether or not i would kiss them normally all things regarding sex being equal to me for the most part

i don't see much difference between being with a man or a woman regardless of what's going on so i don't really see a difference between where i'm putting their genitals and vice versa

@soulofabird

i don't find any of it necessarily romantic, unless there's something between me and the other person that is

just about what feels good and what doesn't, what someone wants to try and what they enjoy and vice versa

there's nothing vulgar about sex to me though, even fetishes i can't see what's vulgar about them

ultimately people enjoy what they enjoy and sex is about having fun, it can just be about playing around and it's who you're having sex with that changes the dynamic

and for me it changes how far i'll go

there are lines i cross with my fiancee that i wouldn't with other people

but we'll drink each other's blood so that's a little different, that's intimate

i wouldn't call it romantic necessarily, subjective, but it's intimate and means more than me just having sex with someone

and i'm not having tantric sex with anyone else so there's that i wouldn't want anyone else that close, not that i've met at this point maybe i'd feel different if someone was particularly interesting and fun but it's still not the same

posted December 17, 2018 09:05 AM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Lol thanks not sure why but each person telling me to not worry about it helps extra. So thanks.

I probably wouldn't mind if he's 5 years older than me since being younger and vulnerable is more endearing I guess? Like I feel it's an odd mix for some reason the being older but vulnerable. And also what you said applies to me too, I just have my walls up with everyone. He defies my existence in all ways lol.

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my fwbs is significantly younger than me and i don't really see that as vulnerability, though i don't feel vulnerable around people who are older than me either and would mess around with someone equally older

people are just people and no one knows much of anything ultimately so there's no sense in feeling vulnerable

aside from that the deepest relationships to be had are about being vulnerable to each other, if it isn't both ways then it's uneven and not as far as you can ever go with another person

so regardless of age if there's a lack of vulnerability on one side then all you are is at a disadvantage emotionally hoping the other person takes care of that vulnerability without exploiting it or giving you what you give them in return

you love something closed off, and they never truly let you in

posted December 17, 2018 02:57 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:
My boyfriend is 10 years younger, so maybe that'll help you even more haha!
And of course we are vulnerable when feelings are involved it doesn't matter whether we are the older or the younger one in the relationship. That's just human nature.

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posted December 17, 2018 03:00 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I've always attracted younger guys so no issue. I'm so used to it and I don't feel like the older sis, if that's your concern, Brenda.

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posted December 17, 2018 03:06 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
my fwbs is significantly younger than me and i don't really see that as vulnerability, though i don't feel vulnerable around people who are older than me either and would mess around with someone equally older

people are just people and no one knows much of anything ultimately so there's no sense in feeling vulnerable

aside from that the deepest relationships to be had are about being vulnerable to each other, if it isn't both ways then it's uneven and not as far as you can ever go with another person

so regardless of age if there's a lack of vulnerability on one side then all you are is at a disadvantage emotionally hoping the other person takes care of that vulnerability without exploiting it or giving you what you give them in return

you love something closed off, and they never truly let you in

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posted December 17, 2018 03:16 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Omg that is so cool, tell me more lol

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posted December 17, 2018 03:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Omg that is so cool, tell me more lol

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posted December 17, 2018 03:18 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
You're right, which is why I said only in the beginning. But ultimately you're right it should be balanced.

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i guess it's just never occurred to me that there's any vulnerability necessarily based on age

my fwbs is 20 and he's never seemed particularly vulnerable, not any moreso than any other person does to me

but being fair everyone has their vulnerabilities, hard for me to forget that ever about people makes them equal no matter what side of themselves they tend to present

posted December 17, 2018 03:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i guess it's just never occurred to me that there's any vulnerability necessarily based on age

my fwbs is 20 and he's never seemed particularly vulnerable, not any moreso than any other person does to me

but being fair everyone has their vulnerabilities, hard for me to forget that ever about people makes them equal no matter what side of themselves they tend to present

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posted December 17, 2018 03:32 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Are either of you in your 20's still?

Were there any complications from the get go?

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posted December 17, 2018 03:37 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Oh I didn't say that you're by default more vulnerable. I said being vulnerable is just harder when you're the older one.

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i guess i haven't felt that, i'm 32 for the record, i'm not sure if it would be different if it was something serious or not though but i doubt it

posted December 17, 2018 03:59 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:
I'm in my thirties, he is in his twenties. Complications? Not from my side. He is rather conservative by outlook so at first he asked me to lower my age when someone asks (I also do look younger) but I refused. He got over it though

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posted December 17, 2018 04:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i guess i haven't felt that, i'm 32 for the record, i'm not sure if it would be different if it was something serious or not though but i doubt it

i don't really think about people's age when i interact with them once they're an adult and out of hs in all honesty, and i don't think about mine either

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posted December 17, 2018 04:15 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
By complications I meant if it was a smooth transition from meeting to being in a relationship. Like I guess (sometimes) they're more into partying and stuff vs I'd assume you got more of a settled outlook? Actually that is probably more personality related than age related...

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posted December 17, 2018 04:22 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Honestly I wonder if I'd normally be bothered by it. I think it's the Leo in his chart lol blame it on the rain. Like his personality is more childlike (somewhat - sometimes). I like him regardless, but it makes me feel uneasy if you know what I mean. It's more subconscious than anything though.

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i could see how that might be a thing for someone i guess

i have a leo mercury and aries moon and i'm pretty much an adult child in a lot of ways so that's probably why i don't think much of it when someone is younger than me and vice versa

the people i've been with who have been younger than me, and just younger friends i've had tend to forget i'm older than them because i don't tend to act it and i look younger than i am

flipside is a lot of people my age and older than me forget i'm as old as i am so they tend to start to try to treat me like they've got more years on me than they do (whether we get along or not they tend to forget my age)

but i'm just completely confident in what i say and do whether or not there's reason to be so it doesn't occur to me to feel vulnerable for the most part

for me vulnerability only comes from depth of feeling which can be very rare for me unless you count having fun as a feeling

btw the party thing you mentioned made me laugh, because i'm actually legitimately excited that my fwbs is going to turn 21 because we all made plans to go to a 3 day music festival to get shitfaced on everything over the summer

i like parties just as much as him, i just don't go to any with him because of our current age difference

i just haven't gotten that part of me out of my system in spite of devoting most of my life to it, my saturn return just taught me to party with less addictive things

i don't really entirely know what being settled is either, it's something i've attempted to work on but it's not something i'm good at

posted December 17, 2018 04:27 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:

Oh haha..no not at all. We have a long distance relationship so we both do what we love to do on our own anyway. He is not a big party goer and neither am I (anymore) so even if he lived in my city there wouldn't be issues.He can be quite immovable when we are together but that's a personality thing (he's a Taurus haha)

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Oh gotcha lol I can relate (Taurus too) probably just an amplified version of the laziness since my Cancer Mars doesn't help.

posted December 17, 2018 04:35 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Oh gotcha lol I can relate (Taurus too) probably just an amplified version of the laziness since my Cancer Mars doesn't help.

But cool good for you.

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Haha he has a Cancer Mars, too.

Are you a 1991 Taurus?

posted December 17, 2018 04:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i could see how that might be a thing for someone i guess

i have a leo mercury and aries moon and i'm pretty much an adult child in a lot of ways so that's probably why i don't think much of it when someone is younger than me and vice versa

the people i've been with who have been younger than me, and just younger friends i've had tend to forget i'm older than them because i don't tend to act it and i look younger than i am

flipside is a lot of people my age and older than me forget i'm as old as i am so they tend to start to try to treat me like they've got more years on me than they do (whether we get along or not they tend to forget my age)

but i'm just completely confident in what i say and do whether or not there's reason to be so it doesn't occur to me to feel vulnerable for the most part

for me vulnerability only comes from depth of feeling which can be very rare for me unless you count having fun as a feeling

btw the party thing you mentioned made me laugh, because i'm actually legitimately excited that my fwbs is going to turn 21 because we all made plans to go to a 3 day music festival to get shitfaced on everything over the summer

i like parties just as much as him, i just don't go to any with him because of our current age difference

i just haven't gotten that part of me out of my system in spite of devoting most of my life to it, my saturn return just taught me to party with less addictive things

i don't really entirely know what being settled is either, it's something i've attempted to work on but it's not something i'm good at

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It's interesting he mentioned too that he never looked at the age difference as something out of the ordinary although others mentioned it here too but dunno. (probably Uranus at play here too I feel - I think you two have a lot of chart similarities/aspects which is good I get to ask someone from the inside lol)

Yeah that is pretty obvious your confidence. I guess it's a good thing. Or can be. So long that you're not trying to override anyone else's lol.

This guy is a party boy too. I guess the reason I like it (although I'm not really one) is due to my seventh house ruler being in Leo. Probably also the reason I'm attracted to his Leo moon (my 7th ruler conjunct it). Although it's more than that that I'm attracted to. But whatever.

posted December 17, 2018 04:55 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:
Haha he has a Cancer Mars, too.

Are you a 1991 Taurus?

This board seems to be full of Taureans. Or maybe I just attract them here somehow/feel attracted to them here as you are the 4th Taurus I've been having conversations with here and I've only been here a month lol

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Lol yes 1991! What's his birthday? (Mine's 5/15)

posted December 17, 2018 04:57 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Lol yes 1991! What's his birthday? (Mine's 5/15)

And I also realized that there are many Taureans on here not sure why. Although others too like Aquarius and Pisces just came to mind.

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posted December 17, 2018 05:01 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:
He is 5 days older than you, May 10th. There is another user who has the same bday as my bf (girlwitharainysoul I think it was).
Ah I just like you Taurus people

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posted December 17, 2018 05:02 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Haha thanks. (I love Pisceans though lol so... I think we tend to love the people that are comparative to this one person we like. Just like someone carrying a certain name it automatically holds more weight)

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Is your guy a Pisces as well? But yeah would make sense as you are in this thread..

posted December 17, 2018 05:19 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:
Is your guy a Pisces as well? But yeah would make sense as you are in this thread..

I've liked Taureans before I met my bf as well. That calm and stable vibe is just too good.

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I'm not involved with him, but yeah he's Pisces Sun and Mars.

posted December 17, 2018 05:27 PM            

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Originally posted by Brenda_S:
I'm not involved with him, but yeah he's Pisces Sun and Mars.

I always seem to attract Pisceans. But they always have strong Aries placements. I guess that's why they're in my life otherwise they'd probably never approach me lol. I'm too stuck up to approach someone 😏 that's probably a Taurus thing. (Interestingly this guy also has Venus Aries which is also probably why we got to the point of interaction in the first place - but in this case I'm completely out of whack now that I feel like I'm forced to do the approaching thingy when I never felt the urge before...)

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