posted September 20, 2015 06:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mattva:
i have mars in pisces. I love sex. But to me, I use it as a way to get closer to the other person or figure out how i truly feel about them rather than the act alone. And I'm rather passive about it. But once the act begins, Im a lot more dominating and there's an intensity to it that I look to share with the other person. This might be my Pluto in the first house.

I pursue sex for the physical gratification initially, but I can sense when I am with the wrong person. I have a rising Libra and an aquarian sun/moon, so once I begin a relationship... it's often a friendship turned into a sexual one. And if it begins, I will let it burn to the ground before leaving them.

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Yeah I can feel that Pisces energy just reading this.

posted September 20, 2015 07:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
LMAO!! This forum is so awesome!

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posted September 20, 2015 07:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Readytochill:
Geeky, I would LOVE to hear more about your relationships.

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Readytochill,

Well why don't you appeal to my Leo rising why don't you?

I will have to write some of this out and come back.

posted September 20, 2015 07:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
Yeah I can feel that Pisces energy just reading this.

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here's the kicker... my mars is in the 5th house. But it's also almost at the end. the drive is there. and it can be switched on ... like some website said "from a gentleman to absolute manwhore"

posted September 20, 2015 07:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by astra7:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
[b]To me, sex , although it feels great , I feel like people are just using each other for it. And it's really unspecial.

I like when you like a person and are attracted to them and actually want to do it
But for me that's rare

What's your attitudes?
Also include your chart or at least placements that you think indicate this.

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[/B][/QUOTE]

Oh god I must have a lot of energy !!!
I've slept w a lot of people. Everyone thinks I'm a **** but the truth is I'm not I just wanted experience & to have a little fun. Rn I'm interested in entering an open relationship w girls and guys but I haven't met that person yet. that special person 😍
So are you celibate? & what's your chart?

posted September 20, 2015 07:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
I like sex. I have all kinds of sex.

- committed/married/partnered up
- one night flings
- FWB
- poly relationships with sex

And I've had one relationship that was mostly massage, cuddling and touching but no sex.

I blame Uranus, it makes a lot of contacts in my natal, I think (need to look again).

Oh and my Sag Moon.

Also I have Mars & Venus conjunct, but it's kind of a loose conjunction so ???

I am not a textbook "Virgo" but none of my Virgo relatives or friends are either.

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posted September 20, 2015 07:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
Readytochill,

Well why don't you appeal to my Leo rising why don't you?

I will have to write some of this out and come back.

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posted September 20, 2015 07:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
Well, without getting into a big debate, I am not entirely sure we are all cut out for monogamy. I think some are, but far more are not. Websites like Ashley Madison prove this - with what? 37 million or so users?

For those that aren't monogamous, it would be WAY WAY better if we could all just be honest and not sneaking around. Cheating is FAR more hurtful. Living a life you think you should because you care what others think of you is unfair to everyone involved.

Just my .02.

Here's a good read - http://junkee.com/ashley-madison-hack-cheating-spouses-2/62113

"We realised that we cannot, and should not, be expected to provide 100% of each other’s sexual or emotional needs. James, nor Martyn, can give me everything I want in a partner, and it is completely okay to say that out loud.

I think we all understand this in some way or another. Even when we pair up monogamously, we stay close with friends, family and colleagues. We keep our hobbies and work friends and sometimes even travel separately. This proves we need more than just the companionship of our chosen mate.

Yet when it comes to romantic love, and sex in particular, we throw that understanding out the window. Pair up with someone, and that is the one and only person you will have sex with, or date, for the rest of your life. That is where you are stuck — and if by any chance there are areas where you are not satisfied, or even if there’s just something you want to explore more, tough luck. That is the price of love."

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Give me a break! You're giving Ashley Madison as example, a concept that professes cheating.

Who said everyone is or has to be monogamous? But you're giving the example of people faking monogamy That's like faking orgasms or pretending to be straight when you're gay (or viceversa) and so on

Why they are faking their monogamy? cowardice (pretending to be "accomplished" like everyone else around, married with children); opportunistic by nature (and obviously lying and living in lie); raised or having raised themselves their needs come first and other people are here to serve those.

The testimonies on or about AM (which obviously are written by a writer, just like the example you gave, and not by real people; not that many real people don't think the same) are just a sad and pathetic poetry of cheating and lying. I mean who forces non-monogamous people to be in monogamous relationships if not for their own fakeness?

posted September 20, 2015 07:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
LMAO!! This forum is so awesome!

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Thank you! It is. It's terrible when you like a guy and do stuff w him then he tells you he's in a two year relationship! Like w..t...f..

posted September 20, 2015 07:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
Thank you! It is. It's terrible when you like a guy and do stuff w him then he tells you he's in a two year relationship! Like w..t...f..

I'm still getting over that lmao
I'm on the fence of whether I'm still going to do things w him. Because idk it's wrong but it isn't a relationship. It's just making each other feel good and if she's not there to help him w that, isn't that what she wants? For him to enjoy his life?
She lives super far moved away a long time ago and he bearly gets to see her. Still has needs. Yup

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posted September 20, 2015 07:25 PM            

quote:

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The Ashley Madison hack has revealed a lot of interesting things about the men who used the extramarital affair-finding site, like which cities, states, and universities they're from.

But what about the women?

Turns out, there may not have been very many women. As in, almost none.

Gizmodo writer Annalee Newlitz analyzed the data from the site's user database and found a lot of suspicious stuff that suggest nearly all the female accounts were fake, maintained by the company's employees.

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quote:

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But either way, Newlitz writes, "Ashley Madison is a site where tens of millions of men write mail, chat, and spend money for women who aren’t there."

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Hmm, company's employees isn't so bad, they were selling a fantasy (though I'd think also false promises but it's hard to be sympathetic to someone intending to break his own vows)...

posted September 20, 2015 07:25 PM            

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPOEmHczkCw

posted September 20, 2015 07:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
Thank you! It is. It's terrible when you like a guy and do stuff w him then he tells you he's in a two year relationship! Like w..t...f..

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Yeah I don't deal well with being led on or deceived. That is a big turn off for me. I can easily turn cold and I would have no problems dropping him for being shady.

I've been on the opposite end (the cheated on partner) and it really, really sucks. I don't wish it on anyone. And besides that, I am worth more than being someone's dirty secret. If I can't go out in public with you and enjoy your company, I am not interested.

But one time, I went home with a coworker who I had worked with for more than a year, not knowing he was married. Until his wife came home! OHHH EMMM GEEEE. I was so uncomfortable. Worst feeling ever, but I had no idea she existed. NO CLUE.

Lucky for me, the deed was done and I was already back in my work uniform (what I wore to his place) so I could head home. Crisis averted!! She seriously could have kicked my butt.

posted September 20, 2015 07:29 PM            

Until it says there: "we welcome polyamorous couples where each wants to do it with someone else" it's just a lame male cheating fantasy cliche with lots of make-believe workers pfffff

"But either way, Newlitz writes, "Ashley Madison is a site where tens of millions of men write mail, chat, and spend money for women who aren’t there."

posted September 20, 2015 07:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Readytochill:
Geeky, love how honest you are

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Me, too!

I don't hold many grudges, but one that I do is how many girls and women lied about their sexuality when I was growing up which was confusing as hell to me and gave me many wrong ideas.

posted September 20, 2015 07:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
The WORST catfish ever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPOEmHczkCw

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LOL!

posted September 20, 2015 07:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Me, too!

A lot of people would be better off if the lying were to stop and people were more concerned with telling the truth rather than promoting a lie about themselves so that they're socially acceptable to the majority of society also living a lie.

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This. EXACTLY. But it's hard for younger / less evolved people because so many other people are quick to judge. People will say you are a S____ or immoral if you enjoy anything unconventional.

That S-word doesn't bother me one bit, but I don't like to see other people shamed.

posted September 20, 2015 07:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
This. EXACTLY. But it's hard for younger / less evolved people because so many other people are quick to judge. People will say you are a S____ or immoral if you enjoy anything unconventional.

That S-word doesn't bother me one bit, but I don't like to see other people shamed.

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Which leads me back to this.

This is why this is my favorite scene on TV ever (with explicit language) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZapogFToIo

posted September 20, 2015 07:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:

That said, I'm for honesty over monogamy. Multiple partners is not a deal breaker for me. Lying is. And some people really get more benefit from a different arrangement. As long as everyone is honest about what they expect and live by what they agreed to then it's not cheating.

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This. I had a boyfriend who knew about me roaming around with another guy, who actually had a girlfriend too. His girlfriend didn't know. He said that "what she doesn't know, won't hurt her." Ok, whatever makes you sleep at night. He was also messing around with another girl who confronted me when I walked out of his house. I hate dealing with the other girls who are unaware and I wish everyone was just honest. Why she had a problem with me when she was doing the exact same thing... I have no idea. I wouldn't mess with another guy who wasn't honest about what's going on again.

posted September 20, 2015 07:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Geeky:
Well, without getting into a big debate, I am not entirely sure we are all cut out for monogamy. I think some are, but far more are not. Websites like Ashley Madison prove this - with what? 37 million or so users?

For those that aren't monogamous, it would be WAY WAY better if we could all just be honest and not sneaking around. Cheating is FAR more hurtful. Living a life you think you should because you care what others think of you is unfair to everyone involved.

Just my .02.

Here's a good read - http://junkee.com/ashley-madison-hack-cheating-spouses-2/62113

"We realised that we cannot, and should not, be expected to provide 100% of each other’s sexual or emotional needs. James, nor Martyn, can give me everything I want in a partner, and it is completely okay to say that out loud.

I think we all understand this in some way or another. Even when we pair up monogamously, we stay close with friends, family and colleagues. We keep our hobbies and work friends and sometimes even travel separately. This proves we need more than just the companionship of our chosen mate.

Yet when it comes to romantic love, and sex in particular, we throw that understanding out the window. Pair up with someone, and that is the one and only person you will have sex with, or date, for the rest of your life. That is where you are stuck — and if by any chance there are areas where you are not satisfied, or even if there’s just something you want to explore more, tough luck. That is the price of love."

---

You said at 31 you started to explore more of your sexuality.

posted September 20, 2015 07:57 PM            

I'm generally/typically demisexual, as in I very rarely feel desire at all unless I'm close to someone...however, this could be someone I have no actual romantic interest in. Maybe it's that I just relax around them, I don't know.

This is NOT me "pretending to be a good girl" since I don't believe that defines a "good girl" anyway. I also don't define people by their impulses but by their actions. As summed up by Sirius Black: "We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." Therefore, someone who abstains is showing more self-control than me, and if I thought "being chaste/pure" or whatever was a good thing then I'd want to struggle over my "sinful nature" and win, as the one who struggles with temptation and wins has virtue whereas those spared temptation are merely innocent/untried/untested. Though there are times when I do feel attracted that I do refuse to act on it for a variety of reasons.

I was in a monogamous relationship with a cheater. I wouldn't have minded a polyamorous relationship, in fact I broached the subject when we first got together, and then again when I busted her for cheating. She was so against that, would bring up why monogamy was so important even when it wasn't a topic, and when I busted her cheating the first time she'd swear she'd never do it again. But she was cheating the entire time, so hypocritical, and such a selfish ***** that she didn't want me cheating, just her. I'm still ****** off at her sometimes, though I try not to be (not that I'll ever have even the most trivial dealings with her again for many years--I just got angrier when she stopped by me once and couldn't believe I wouldn't talk to her despite how many times I've forgiven her for many things in the past, but I know she's a user and troublemaker now), and it's not the other partners, it was how she so sorely abused my trust that she demanded I give her. And the fact that I was okay with polyamory but she was not, but after making me swear to monogamy with her she then takes up cheating.

And there was also a couple at a gym I went to back then, man and woman who were both very fit and limber and open minded, who invited me to a threesome with them, and as I liked them (we were friends) I really wanted to say yes. But I didn't, because I'd made a commitment to my lying "monogamy is so important to me" ***** of a girlfriend and unaware of how much she was cheating on me at the time. But as I still believed her and her drivel I refused, though I wanted to. It's an experience her lying robbed me of, because unlike her monogamous-claiming ass I actually have honor, integrity, and self-control even though I don't see a problem with polyamory the way she did.

Beyond the side ethical issues (honesty, for example, not exerting unethical pressure and manipulation is another), I'm casual about it. That doesn't mean I have casual sex (though I did go through a phase of that, mostly it was a journey of self-discovery and also satisfying my curiosity). I'm okay with celibates, asexuals, and the promiscuous, at least for itself (there are good reasons and bad reasons for all of that). To me the idea of "sex should only be about procreation and not pleasure" is like saying "your nose should only be for breathing and not enjoying smells." I find differences intriguing rather than offensive.

Btw, his is about me and my astro-twin which touches on this and also details my natal chart (I also have 5H Eros, btw, to go with moon, Mars, Uranus, and Neptune):
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/003137.html

quote:

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Of course she's going to see you as a threat, sexually all that saggy stuff is in your 5th house.....falls in her 12th.

All that you express through that easy going fun loving sexual energy of the 5th house, she represses, she's scared of it. That makes you very intimidating to her, which in turn makes you a threat and she acts out on that fear you bring up in her.

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posted September 20, 2015 08:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Readytochill:
Oh god, I've been there! Lol! You pretty much wrote out what I thought about a guy I used to mess around with until recently. Except I also thought she wasn't doing him right and needs to get lessons from me lol

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posted September 20, 2015 08:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
True true. But I don't want to risk losing him or upsetting him so it is what it is. He knows I like him 😇😉

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Ya I know how you feel. I kept him around like a friend until he did something a friend shouldn't do or anyone for that matter. So I ended things.