posted November 18, 2018 05:55 PM            

Your mother and mine had similar traits. {{so sorry you had that kind of childhood}}.

We both have a Moon square Mars.
my mars is 2+ cancer
{my own mother was abusive.
would tell my friends not to call me. she would hang-up after telling them that I didn't "deserve" to have friends. *sad* .. they 'obeyed' her wishes, rather than stand beside me and give comfort at school. they ostracized me.}

Sharp tongue?.. and,
a sarcastic great sense of humor too??
Smiling, it's a great coping mechanism, right?

*ahem*.. (humor)
(Miss Aries with a fiery Mercury Aries)--
Just in case!!!!!, I would gently-kindly advise that you would consider the consequences to your future, if you are 'serious' about going into public 'attack-mode' journalism -- (as a reaction to disappointing news).

No matter how desperately those idiot-arses could USE a good and thorough tongue-lashing and piece of your mind, if you do it publicly {H10}, it could work against you. (and hurt your reputation?)

Having both your 'Saturn AND Mars' in your 10th tends to make insecure-authoritarian figures feel more ~uneasy and threatened by feminine warring bold-communications. Make them retaliate?
Maybe even, just your vibe and presence (whenever your 'charisma' is really high) could threaten their ego during those periods.

Right now the transiting South Node in Capricorn is pulling on your BML Cap 27+, and tBML is trine your Mars Gemini. WHILE (yes) you have tUranus retro your Sun for ONE more time!
"Peace....." Sending you Peace..... hahaha

Jupiter in Sag is FIRE, and could embolden your fire placements, and boost or 'enable' your air-communications! (sextiles!) If played wisely, you could really make an impression with your communications.
Avoid any kind of lies (if you do go 'public'), to the best of your ability.

I didn't see the 'grand cross' you're talking about?

I see a cool (yet challenging) Kite, and trines. (When including the 4 goddesses).

'Juno' is one of the talent indicators (among other things).
I use asteroid 389 Industria for talent or the 'timing' of jobs.
'Ceres' is also known as a timer for the stopping and starting work, and, for timing disability. (ref Demetra George)
'Vesta' I've seen Vesta involved with other goddesses (and planets/points) {my retired-roommate was poster-child for the way Industria can 'time' employment in some charts}.
389 Industria is a slow asteroid?.. too slow for some people who need work 'now'?? *bheart*. She just turned direct near Hygiea and Chiron-rx in later Pisces now. .. Will arrive at 0-Aries for New Years 2019.

Before going on a WAR-path.... *grin*
If you choose to go on a rampage, make sure you know who your friends are first--- and give them the chance to talk you down??? LOL, before 'standing up' to people in powerful positions, flying emboldened into their faces (egos!!! sheesh). Careful not to get locked-up or in legal trouble. {{hug}}

With Neptune getting ready to enter your 7th house in the coming year, you want to KNOW 'who' your friends are... the shovel-ready kinds!! aka faithful loyal 'bury-the-body' buddies.

If you need to find yourself a good lawyer (and hold them on a retainer for yourself for the coming years), I hope it's someone you have already proved and trusted in your life. With your having 'published' already, you probably already have lawyers?

It will be good to have people in your life who already know you, and you know them. People who can 'go the distance' with you and the other trusted people in your life.
You're going to need to know who you can trust.
Take an inventory.
You'll also need to really rely on your own good intuition, with advices given to you in one-on-one professional relationships (counselors, lawyers, doctors). Don't totally believe them while discounting your own good sense.

Again, I think it is BLESSED that you have this special friend in your life!!! "You've GOT SOMEONE" on your side.. He seems to be a healing person for you, especially with the divorce behind you. Could prove to be really valuable, since he already knows you pretty well?

I wish you the BEST BEST Luck with everything in your life.

(music) Someone To Watch Over Me (Ella Fitzgerald, London Symphony Orchestra) [3:25] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J94EWJ_sT2o

, but to sublimate any kind of tendency towards impulsive actions.
.. Mercury in Sag just went retro on your IC back to your 3rd. With Jupiter and Sun there too?, and with those trine to your Mercury, AND .. you have 389 Industria Leo part of that fire trine (in your 11th), it will be really cool to find out what that job offer will be for you.

posted November 30, 2018 11:09 PM            

I had a seizure whilst out yesterday (had this pretty much around same time last year, probably because of all the stress I have been under). I presume that I fell and bruised my nose, as it is scratched and swollen, and I woke up in hospital.

They are keeping me hanging with the job, and because this will involve relocating, I just have no idea what to do, because I need to find somewhere else to live at this point too. I don't know what's holding them up, I have worked for them before. I feel so depressed.I can't eat (as in I haven't eaten for days, and don't care about not eating, either).

I haven't mentioned this before, but I was living with a flatmate earlier on this year who had really bad hygiene. They literally smelt like death, and had to be told to shower every single day. They were like a walking dustbin. After 7-8 months they moved out (their choice). Their whole attitude was totally unacceptable.

I had done so much for them, washing, cleaning, cooking etc. and in the end it got too much, because they were so incredibly clueless and I found it very, very upsetting. They blamed their Asperger's, good excuse -NOT!!

In addition, they had a speech impediment, which meant they couldn't talk on the phone, so I was left to sort out all the practical stuff like bills etc. They had literally got to nearly 40, and never had to do any of this stuff.

I always feel like I am the one doing everything for everybody, but rarely do people do things for me.

I feel like I am slowly going mad.

Another horrible year nearly over.

posted December 04, 2018 06:20 PM            

It’s like alarm didn’t go off this morning? Whatever I just won’t wash my face.

posted December 05, 2018 01:45 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stawr:
I don’t even feel that phased by Mercury retrograde, with all these big planets going back and forth.

It’s like alarm didn’t go off this morning? Whatever I just won’t wash my face.

I’m ready for the stability of Taurus. Hopefully my Scorpio Moon Pluto, and Aquarius mars likes it.

---

I am sorry - you think that tr. Uranus making a T-square with your mars and pluto will bring stability?

posted December 05, 2018 05:33 AM            

Uranus moving into Taurus made me feel MUCH better, but its moving backwards again threw everything into disarray.

I'd like to think my mind can override the planets, but it doesn't seem that way.

posted December 05, 2018 06:41 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bluesky:

I'd like to think my mind can override the planets, but it doesn't seem that way.

[/B]

---

Your mind can. But you are not isolated and for a change you need the same vibration from the people and things around you.

posted December 05, 2018 03:30 PM            

Take extra care of yourself!! {{{ }}}
You've got a while longer... Perservere, Miss Aries!!! *hug*

Okay now. … The Roommate??? for real??? ugh.

I HOPE you "realize" that you deserve sooo much more that that, and, the choices you have been making have got to become more discriminating?

Once you have finished with tUranus, slowly slowly, you should be realizing that your life has actually begun a re-start. It's subtle.

Gather yourself up.
YOU are Valuable...
You have a Wonderful Heart.. you do things for others. You CARE!!! Do you know how "rare" that is, in these days??

While the energies may seem so electric, let things "discharge" from you (energetically), that you don't need in your life.

Draw to your Core.. And start taking an inventory of all the GOOD that you are. Let it really "BELONG" to you.

It's like you've been "practicing" being a Giver.

posted December 05, 2018 11:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bumblebee:
I am sorry - you think that tr. Uranus making a T-square with your mars and pluto will bring stability?

Uranus doesn't bring stability - it brings change. In all taurean matters.

---

posted December 13, 2018 01:46 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bluesky:
I am really depressed. Everyone says things will get better, but they never do. It is not for want of me trying to better myself, but I have to say the feeling of Groundhog Day is very real, every single Monday of every single week nowadays.

I feel like I might as well be on drugs. I have so much to give society, and yet society has never wanted it. I curse this rubbish, pathetic world, that rewards mediocrity and comes down like a ton of bricks on anyone who wants to do something good.

---

{{{hugs!}}}
I 'resonate' deeply to what your saying. *bheart*

Don't throw in the towel just-yet.
Please Wait. {{ }}
*smiling* .. yeah right.., like, I'm asking an ARIES to wait??? awww LOL *hugs*

You were BORN during this time, with ALL your talents and that spirit for excellence, FOR A REASON.
NOT a time to give-in...

Being on {street}-drugs??? {not medically monitored to support your biology} -- please resist that, especially now?

The sky energies right now (and for a while longer) might give you the urges and "Illusion" that this will make it better?
No.
(Not if it, in its natural alluring slick-slippery fashion, would lead to the slavery and health problem of addiction. That's a MONEY PIT.)

The truth IS that this world (in raw, low-vibrational form) IS "ugly" (and especially apparent when you 'come down off the drugs').
(I speak from experience.)

If you keep spinning into the chemical alter-worlds of drugs, then afterwards try to land on earth, then this 'place' is so dense and not-shiny.. but boring crusty and dirty. This might tempt you to leave her-- BEFORE you see the REAL REASON 'why' you are put on Earth, loaded with gear and Possibility.

Doing the drugs is sooooo frickin' 'temporary' and JUST spirals you further within the vortex of swampish trash-vibrations. Like a whirlpool of sewer garbage .. you need help climbing out from.

It destroys your aura-- leaving holes.
(imagine solar collector parts, destroyed)
Makes you vulnerable to energetic-prey.
Please don't do that to your self.

Learn to "tolerate" the life you live in your non-drugged self. That way, you'll be sober enough to make your way through the hard things that are there, and gather life-experiences, wisdom, where layer by layer by layer, ultimately you STEP INTO the Beauty that you are Born for.

There was a story (fable) about a donkey who fell into a deep well. The towns-people came with buckets and buckets of DIRT. They just would POUR it, all over that poor donkey. Donkey probably thought they were trying to BURY him???
.. But, step-by-step, the donkey stomped on the dirt he shucked off his body. And eventually, that donkey could see the ground rising underneath him, to the point where he was able to jump out of the hole.

Whatever you can do that makes you Comfortable, that is towards Healthy Self-Care, FIND the ways to do it.

I PRAY you have GOOD supporting friends who are IN your life, or, will ENTER your life.
..

Hey. Join a Choir and go Holiday Caroling!!! Something FUN. You need recreation (without drugs?? oh my), and RE-Creation.

This 'dark time' WILL pass...
You WILL be glad you kept yourself SAFE.

Look for the Beauty in life, every single day.

Go find a tree-- examine its leaves, its branches, its trunk, its bark-- its overall beautiful Design. Ponder the roots, which branch under the crust of the earth, invisibly to us, but that HOLD the tree with Integrity to its upper parts.
Unseen, and, the Seen.
You can't 'see' what progress the roots make during the winter months. Things are STILL occurring. Sap is running and being prepared.

YOU are EVEN More Marvelous and intricately Made-- And there is an incredible intricacy of YOUR Design and YOUR Life Plan.

What's happening 'now' is NOT an indication of what can Be.

Stay the Course...
Do No Harm. Stay Gentle, and with Open Heart.

Like I read about your chart --
When tUranus finishes its course,
perhaps Uranus the Awakener, will have suddenly opened Vision (or opportunities) to further your Understanding of who you are (especially 'separate' from what you 'do'-- you are NOT 'what you do', you are 'who' you are {that's part of Uranus Opp Uranus, and the squares that come).

You'll have t Uranus Taurus in H9.. downloading your Higher Consciousness understanding. Innovations.
Bringing what's in Heaven.. to Earth, for others and self.

Evidenced by your comment about 'mediocrity'..
You HAVE an inborn "Spirit of Excellence" .. (as I do).
BORN, for 'Such a Time as This'.

"Wait for it." It won't disappoint, ultimately.
God is lining up Teams, and people being shaken, and 'juggled' for the next phase of the Journey.

Get some PLAY Time.. Enjoy.
(I'll take some of my own advice, too!)

posted December 17, 2018 11:14 PM            

Toys R us
Sears

Some just have profit drops like
Jcrew
VS

Whole Foods bought out by amazon

On the small business level too.
There was a nice restaurant I could walk to...out of business.
A local toy store I started getting bday presents for kids at...out of buiseness this summer.
I was going to grab gifts at an eco friendly store this week. I look up the hours online....permanently closed.
Was going to take my Grandma to a tea parlor I’ve been meaning to try,....permanently closed.

Or some places just closing a bunch of locations.

I was going to try to shop at Nieman Marcus Last Call now they will only do Last Call online.

Jc penny is another one as far as I know that is closing a bunch of locations

Some blame amazon, others blame melenials, while melenials are saying “hello0o, wage gap!”

posted December 18, 2018 11:20 PM            

I won't hear back from recruiters till halfway through January now. It bothers me, because I need to move by Jan 6 and I am broke, and so is everybody else I know.

I had a spate of interest from recruiters over the last week or so, but went to 2 interviews yesterday (for which I was late due to messed up trains as they had had a fatality on the line/ miscommunication at reception).

Neither interview panel made notes, which I thought was a red flag.

Also, both interview panels were female only. I have had numerous interviews over the past year, all of which were female only, and not once have I got the jobs. I never used to have this problem with men.

posted December 19, 2018 12:53 AM            

but you know, i don't really see that as a reason to wallow in misery

so you haven't accomplished anything you value yet, there's still time

what havent you done that youve wanted to? what sort of things have you tried? there's a lot in the world aside from what you have at any given moment and regardless of what someone has on a surface level there's always pain below the surface

so no reason for the jealousy or anger, other people doing well have nothing to do with you doing poorly and your past and present aren't necessarily an indicator of your future

you know what it is to have a lot of chaotic situations just thrust on you, i'm sure you've noticed by now how drastically life can change

have you considered that maybe the way youre coming off, your energy, is why your interviews went poorly rather than you being interviewed by women (totally possible, i have better luck with women personally ive got a job once because the woman hiring thought i was attractive without actually interviewing me or reading an application)? just throwing that idea out of there because what you give off while just talking about your life seems like the sort of thing that's probably dripping off of you and you're likely unconsciously coloring your interactions with other people with this sort of thing

people respond whether or not they realize it more to what someone else gives off rather than what they say or even do and that coupled with their own unconscious ****

or maybe you're pretty and they're ***** because i've seen women get all kinds of weird with my fiancee over the years for no real reason

still all the jealousy and grass is greener if youre someone else **** isnt going to get you anywhere good

life has its ups and downs but during them there's always still good and bad **** going on anyway regardless of whether you're up or down

all ultimately a matter of what you value

as for hard drugs, i wouldnt recommend them personally

shrooms, acid, other psychedelics or weed? go for it the first two in particular can help you clear your head and gain perspective if you take them in a more meditative setting

anything else? not worth it, you think where you're at is bad but trust me there's worse with a lot of other ****

been there personally, i was a junkie at one point

i used to wake up going through withdrawal if i nodded off and slept a little late, cold sweats not being able to breathe feeling like i was going to die and i had points where i was crying while i used and a lot of the time not even using to get high just using to make dope sickness stop

and you think when you start out that it's hard to get there, the beginning is great i cant even lie but once that honeymoon phase is over it's not like anything else you've experienced

you hit lows you couldn't imagine and the world becomes a very different place

and maybe you wouldnt get addicted, i used opiates on/off binges and all that for 15 years before i had any full blown addiction issues with them

also had a brief addiction to pcp but that was a weird situation and quitting wasnt too bad, did give myself hppd though which isnt the worst but not the best either

used a lot of other **** too some long binges with alcohol and muscle relaxers and benzos

not really uppers but ive done my fair share of coke, and i've mixed **** where i definitely couldve died and it's amazing i didnt

had my share of nights though where ive felt numb and tingly,and everythings been sort of dark and weird, heart fluttering in my chest having to force myself to breand stay awake til i sobered up a bit because it felt like if i didnt i wasnt going to wake up after long nights of losing track of everything i took

i really doubt you want to be anywhere near that, it's not worth it

it doesnt even make things better or alter your perspective that much, it just feels good for a little while like anything else does

though i cant relate to what someone else said, ive always liked sobering up for a bit after long binges because then being sober feels new and being high feels normal

which makes being sober almost like taking something and then it's sort of a rush really

the world isnt any darker or less beautiful just because you've sobered up or gotten high it just sort of is both those things always

edit: as for the roommate, aspergers really is a valid reason for people being that way because they arent neurotypical they arent going to necessarily be as capable of day to day functions as you are

especially if they dont have proper guidance while developing or it's severe

also you didnt have to do anything for your roommate you chose to do **** then got mad about extra **** you put on yourself

that's not anyone's fault but your own to be perfectly fair

i feel for you, but you seem to be letting your pain make you unreasonable towards other people while you add more stress on yourself

also i know mood swings and weird **** like that can come with seizures, sometimes acknowledging that side of it can help you sort out whether or not your feelings are even valid at any particular moment or if theyre just a side effect of physical issues

posted December 19, 2018 07:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bluesky:
The women issues have always existed,ever since I was a little girl, and I am not the only woman to feel this way. I can be as nice or modest or helpful as I like to them, and none of it has ever made any difference whatsoever. In fact, they often take advantage.
I've never taken drugs, and wouldn't want to, although like I said (to give an example) I might as well be on them because society won't give me the chance to add value.
I'm miserable because of what I've been through. And so, frankly, is the rest of society. It uses a lot of energy trying to be positive and upbeat and friendly, if the vast majority are simply miserable towards you, then you see no value in not being miserable back.
I feel people just don't like my face, even when I am warm and welcoming and professional, and try to put people at their ease. It's almost like they don't want to accept someone who's nice. It wouldn't matter what I said.
Yes, I admit I have been prettier than the women interviewing me (shoot me now), but my picture is on Linkedin, so why call me in for interview if they don't like the way I look? Heck,I don't even tend to think about being prettier than people. I just try to dress appropriately, do my research, be interested, be polite, be straightforward, give good explanations and ask lots of questions. I've worked harder on my presentation this year than I have any year, and it's got me absolutely nowhere.

---

some women have that issue with each other, like i said i've seen it with my fiancee who pretty much has no female friends, can't usually make any, and has gotten really upset about it

them taking advantage can be helped in the sense that you can control what you do and not allow it

you can't prevent someone from being the type to take advantage, but you can stop yourself from doing things that put you in a position like that

even someone on drugs can add value and gets chances to look at all the writers, artists, musicians etc with severe drug and alcohol issues

substances and other people can't really prevent you from adding value

also though you really should consider takin something like mushrooms, because theyre nonaddictive and they can bring up a lot of issues while providing a detached perspective

if most people were miserable towards me i'd see it as a reason for self reflection in all honesty and if it wasn't a me issue i wouldn't take it personal then because it isnt, and i'm perfectly capable being pleasant towards someone even if they hate me

**** i'll talk to people i hate and be friendly out of boredom because you can only be so miserable over everything so often and hating someone is no reason not to talk to them otherwise sometimes

so i can't relate there because i don't really see what my feelings even have to do with most interactions with most people, feelings are usually irrelevant in all honesty

at nearly any given moment feelings don't even need to be a thing, and how much weight they're given can be helped it's not impossible to train yourself to let things go even if it doesn't come naturally

so if i do come to a conclusion that the other person is miserable and just acting out i figure me being miserable back is going to do **** all for them and me

seems to use up more energy being miserable honestly, because not letting your feelings get the better of you doesnt even equate with being happy or positive

happiness is ephemeral anyway, people put too much stock on the idea that they're going to be happy one day like it's something to strive for rather than something you feel that passes like all other emotions; it's just a good one so you want more of it than something negative

i don't think it matters what you say no, not if you give off negativity or discontent, and i get the feeling that you likely cant hide it

people generally aren't going to respond well to that even if it's an unconscious thing

ever see someone else walk into a room in a bad mood and everyone sort of avoid them or act a little weird even if it's subtle?

they can't help but respond to the other person's energy because most people on some level do sense it

sometimes working really hard on something doesnt make it better, just means you've added too many details or taken away good things etc

working too hard on something ends up meaning nitpicking it to death and destroying it for most people

though even if that isnt the case like i said drowning in your feelings is something other people dont respond well to

they dont want to drown with you and if you give that off all the time being near you is going to be taxing especially in a work or home environment

and i'm not saying work on your feelings and perspective because i'm invalidating anything (i think in your case they seem to be all consuming so theyre entirely relevant) but because that's just what has to be done sometimes

not exactly doing you any good to wallow, and stress doesn't make seizures any easier

and circumstances are only part of that issue, since bad circumstances don't necessarily equate with constant misery

to answer your other post i'm a guy yeah, and i'm aware that this is a bit the equivalent of "suck it up and move on" but in all honesty that's a valuable lesson life doesnt stop for feelings and not all of them are worth holding onto

also what i said about the seizures and moods is just the truth, they can have a huge effect on mood sometimes

there are days where i'll be insanely depressed and on edge and that's how i'll know i'm going to have one at some point that day and that everything i'm feeling is absolutely meaningless however valid it seems because it's a side effect of a physical problem

not exactly pleasant, but is what it is

life is more than your feelings, and if they're serving no purpose then they need to be dealt with which isnt the same as letting them go unchecked and control you