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Author
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Topic: CONSENTING ADULTS AND AGE GAPS
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 02:35 PM
  
What's the difference between a 27-year-old and a 28-year-old? What makes every 28-year-old more mature or together than every girl one year younger (or a few months younger)? Wow. Can you rantionally quanitify why that number is the be all end all for you? If not, then perhaps it is not worthy of consideration.  If you can't even tell her age from looking at her, yet you are attracted to her, then what's the problem? I know you like to think of yourself as a logical person, but one's rationale comes into question once one lumps everything into exclusives. It would suck for me being a black and white person in such a world of varying shades of grey. But anyway, good luck to you.  ------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7816
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 02:52 PM
I agree that the age I specified is arbitrary, but as I'd be considering the girl in the first place I'd be considering them regardless of whether they were 27 or 28, right? So it's not really as arbitrary as it came off to you.I think you misunderstand me on my crush. I do think I could get her, but I also think that looks-wise she's a little out of my league. I don't think you're in the 2% of people that understand the psyche of a woman. Why? Because women are different. There can be no formula, and fixed ideas will only fit those that believe similarly to you. Basics like confidence seem to work rather universally. That's fine, but it's kind of impossible to advise a person to be that way if they aren't already. You've either got it or you don't. I don't lack confidence, but I'm also not going to put on a show. I'm not going to be false. I'm not going to advertise something that's not on the menu. If a woman's going to fall for me, she's going to fall for me being myself. Her psyche can sort itself out. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7816
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 02:55 PM
Randall, you have far more fixed opinions of things than I do. I have a single fixed planet in my chart. I have five (Saturn, Moon, Neptune, Venus, and Mercury) in Mutable signs. A black and white world is not mine. My Mutable placements give me the ability to look at things from more sides than most.IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 03:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by AcousticGod:
I think you misunderstand me on my crush. I do think I could get her, but I also think that looks-wise she's a little out of my league.
Too pretty?=no go?
What is wrong with a person being great looking?
As long as they could accept being the prettier/handsome one, and could overlook/accept that I am not as attractive,Well, how can a person be "out of your league" based on looks?
I mean;
if they are so snobby/conceited that they reject you because "they" feel you are not good looking enough,
well that is their problem, not yours.
But if they accept you, what is the issue?
I have already stated and illustrated my views on age gaps, so will not debate about rejecting based on age gaps. As long as legal age+ and not senile, I have no gap limits. quote:
Originally posted by AcousticGod:
I don't lack confidence, but I'm also not going to put on a show. I'm not going to be false. I'm not going to advertise something that's not on the menu. If a woman's going to fall for me, she's going to fall for me being myself. Her psyche can sort itself out.
Be yourself of course!
However, what if she (whomever) does fall for you just as you are?
Would you reject her based on that she is too pretty/out of your self perceived "league"?
Or reject her because she is just a bit outside of your required age range?
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First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale CarnegieIP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 03:40 PM
All I know is what you post. I don't know you in person. But you do appear to be very fixed and narrow-minded in your thinking. I do admit that I stick with what works in a few areas of my life, but I am always open to possibilities in almost all other areas, and I constantly move throughout the grey looking for the best solution that ideally matches each particular exception. And for the most part, yes, women all have the same base needs and desires in a man--confidence being only one of them. Confidence can't be faked, but it can be acquired. Saying she is out of your league is indicative of your lack of confidence. She is only out of your league in that you think it is so. And thus, yes, I agree--she is out of your league.------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7816
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 04:02 PM
quote:
Too pretty?=no go?
What is wrong with a person being great looking?
No. Nothing wrong with being pretty or prettier than me. That doesn't disqualify people from being a potential date. I was just making a statement. quote:
However, what if she (whomever) does fall for you just as you are?
It's a fairly good indicator of future results.  quote:
But you do appear to be very fixed and narrow-minded in your thinking.
Only because I speak with authority, and only because I can actually argue my views. However, as I've said, present a compelling argument. That's how you back me off of a position. If I'm wrong, and you can reasonably prove it, I'll admit it. In the world of written words it's easy not to understand the full extent of something like my Venus conjunct Neptune, but it's there, and I'm quite tolerant of people despite being able to see the flaws. Not many people seem capable of defending their positions the way I'm able to. I don't come to an opinion from a place of not having thought about it. It's a product of a flexible mind that allows me to think things through. Saturn does oppose my Mercury, though, so there's also structure and discipline to the thought process. Saturn in Gemini is supposed to be the placement of an insecure mind, but one capable of great academic merit. quote:
Saying she is out of your league is indicative of your lack of confidence. She is only out of your league in that you think it is so. And thus, yes, I agree--she is out of your league.
I didn't say that *she* was out of my league. I said her looks were. For all know I could be out of her league as far as the other qualities of our lives. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 04:24 PM
Her looks being out of your league shows your lack of confidence about how you look. You place too much importance on looks, and that shows that you are unaware of how women think. Yes, there is a limit with most women, but within a wide latitude, women find a lot of different things physically attractive in a guy. No, not any guy can get any woman; that's not what I'm saying at all. Different women have different tastes. But they all want their base needs met by their man. By thinking her looks are out of your league shows that you don't feel worthy to be with someone as beautiful as her. So, if you were with her, she would pick up on that insecurity, and her "wuss alarm" would go off. Some women do end up with a spineless jelly fish (not saying you are spineless or an aquatic life form--just speaking in general now) for whatever reason (money, security, etc.), but they will generally eventually cheat on such a guy with a confident, dominant male who satisfies them in ways no insecure man can. That gut-level attraction is difficult to resist. ------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7816
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 05:32 PM
Let's stop assuming you know more than me about how people work, shall we? You don't have your Moon conjunct Pluto, or your Pluto quintile Mercury, or even an 8th house Sun. You're not a natural psychologist, and I can tell from how you write that you're regurgitating stuff you've learned from sources that I rather strongly disagree with, and don't endorse/condone.Having such a Mutable chart, I'm able to be quite critical of pretty much everything. This shouldn't be regarded as insecurity on my part. I have the rare luxury of being happy on my path. I don't even have debt. How insecure do you think that makes me? You don't see me endorsing your affirmations, do you? I don't even endorse the practice. Not that the mind can't affect a person's well-being, but it has to be used the right way. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 06:19 PM
Geez. Don't get your feathers all ruffly. I was just giving my take. Methinks thou dost protest too much. Astrology aside, I am quite adept at understanding human nature. I dare say I'm brilliant at it. But most psychology is bunk, IMHO. Anywho, I will terminate this dialogue, since you and I are clearly on different wavelengths, and I don't want to get off topic and divert LEXX's string.  And I didn't ask for your endorsement. Haha! I would probably have to reconsider my position on something if I found your endorsement on it. Not trying to be belittling in any way...just saying that you and I are of two different mentalities. Not that one is better than the other...just different. BTW, I don't regurgitate, I innovate. Everything I write is original, unless I state otherwise. Just for the record, I don't think you're an insecure person and didn't say that you were except in that you seem to be so about your looks, which is just an observation, not a judgment. And happiness isn't rare at all. Happiness is something most of us share, most of the time. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7816
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 07:19 PM
I do protest too much with good reason. Your "take" was over the top. If you understood human nature you'd understand that critical people can both be self-deprecating and confident and secure. I'm sure you're aware of our fellow Capricorn Howard Stern. Need I say more? With regard to talking about women, there's a glaring reason why anyone should suspect your knowledge. I think you can decipher it. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 07:29 PM
There is a more glaring reason why your motives concerning women should be suspect.  IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 07:31 PM
LEXX, sorry for the diverting of your topic. Do you have a preferred age range?IP: Logged |
EverEvolvingSpirit
Knowflake Posts: 954
From: A Place of Pure Love <3
Registered: Feb 2011
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posted February 08, 2011 07:33 PM
How 'bout them Yankees? IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 07:45 PM
Yo, AG, I have a string on what women want. Why don't you mosey on over there and see how my knowledge is? IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 09:16 PM
I am intrigued by the responses here on this thread, no matter the points of view!
Give me a few minutes and I shall reply to posts here! 
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First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2011 09:31 PM
Actually, since astrology was brought up concerning psychology, I have Moon Trine Pluto and Mercury Trine Pluto. Those are two strong indicators of a great psychologist, and it trumps a sextile or quintile, since a Trine is significantly more powerful. Also, to understand the psyche of others, one must be psychologically balanced oneself. I have at least two other strong indicators that I am psychologically healthy (as well as not jealous or possessive), which are Moon Trine Uranus and Mercury Trine Uranus. And top that off with Mars Trine Jupiter, which grants me many things that would help me to soothe the psyches of others, including strong confidence and the ability to be assertive in a nonthreatening way. Plus I have a few placements that make me a good writer and a natural teacher. Just sayin', since astrology was brought up and assumptions made about my lack of aspects to support my talents in said subjects. And it goes without saying that Mercury Trine Pluto is indicative of emotional and psychological well-being and stability; this is also probably the placement that makes for the best of all teachers. IP: Logged |
Mblake81
Knowflake Posts: 2480
From: The Upstate, Carolinas
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 08, 2011 11:49 PM
"Basics like confidence seem to work rather universally"Wise words. It is solid to put confidence in things that work universally, because in turn they work universally and you wont have as many conflicts in life. It is true, Fixed ideas only tolerate other fixed ideas that are the same. You guys and gals have got to step back and take a breather, assess the situation at hand. My personal position is removed from all this, I grew so tired of never ending conflicts that did not go anywhere positive. I should note: Language that is used wrongly, in turn you are going to get something filled with hate coming your way. I do not mean this about me, That is an observation I have seen, over and over and over and over and over and over and over..
Do you get my point? over and over and over and over
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 12:20 AM
I agree. AG and I will seldom agree or see eye-to-eye on much, so conflict betwixt us goes nowhere and is a waste of energy.IP: Logged |
Mblake81
Knowflake Posts: 2480
From: The Upstate, Carolinas
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 09, 2011 12:22 AM
That is a bad way to leave it in the open, It could go somewhere.Depends on you two and how much effort is put in, Nothing good is free. And all you can realistically do is meet each other half way. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 12:38 AM
Yeah, I'm sure we can get along. Two male goats have to butt heads occasionally. You are quite the diplomat. You should be a Mod. ------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7816
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 01:36 AM
quote:
There is a more glaring reason why your motives concerning women should be suspect.
No there's not. quote:
Yo, AG, I have a string on what women want. Why don't you mosey on over there and see how my knowledge is?
Why do you think I believe these things about you? It's precisely threads like that coupled with evidence that you attract psychos, and you can't keep a relationship. I don't judge your writing ability. I judged what was written to have been inspired by other people's work. The affirmation stuff, and the belief that what you think manifests stuff is a very old concept most recently made famous in The Secret. Lexx and I are in agreement with regard to those notions. Your ideas about women remind me of those guys that solicit to teach other guys how to pick up women. Maybe even NLP. Probably even NLP. Yes, I am aware of these things, but as I said before I'm not interested in fooling someone about me. We haven't even broached the subject of whether you're able to teach. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7816
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 01:44 AM
Mblake, Randall gets upset at me for being dry, and then for being able to defend my positions. Sometimes I take positions that are too rational, though I certainly mean no ill will in general. I get needled over it, and I respond, because otherwise I'm just tolerating petty stuff.IP: Logged |
Mblake81
Knowflake Posts: 2480
From: The Upstate, Carolinas
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 09, 2011 01:49 AM
"You are quite the diplomat."My Bonafides. I am a capricorn, or at least I know the energy fairly well. # Venus in the Fourth House
# Venus in Capricorn
# Venus Square Saturn
# Moon Trine Venus
# Venus Trine Ascendant
# Venus Trine Mars
# Mercury Sextile Venus Mercury Sextile Venus
You are a natural diplomat. In fact you deal with people mostly by being charming. You love harmony and beauty and make a great effort to surround yourself with beautiful objects. You like your surroundings to be comfortable, pleasant, elegant and gracious. As you get older you may collect art or other objects to beautify your home. Venus in Capricorn
You keep your feelings under control, and at times you may find it difficult to make friends. This is because you express your feelings more seriously than most people your age. However, make sure that your relationships are not based solely on what others can do for you. You are not self-indulgent and you can control your desires quite well. You will plan very carefully how to be rather thrifty. You are at your best doing everything in moderation. Venus Square Saturn
The square from Venus to Saturn indicates that you have difficulty relating to others. You are basically unwilling to accept the responsibility that is established when two individuals meet in a more than casual way. If you accept others for themselves, realizing that everyone has to make concessions and adjustments to others, then happiness can surely be yours. You could find satisfaction in banking, finance, law, insurance, buying and selling, or designing. But it is essential that you recognize your self-worth before you implement your talents. You must gain the recognition of your employers for your honesty, integrity, and good judgment because these are the good qualities that will help you achieve success. Try to become more optimistic and give yourself a greater chance for happiness. Learn to relax and let go. Try giving instead of complaining about what others demand of you. Moon Trine Venus
Your emotions are rich and beautiful, and you express them to others so that people like you for what you really are. You have an amazing ability to get along with people; you like them, and they like you. Venus Trine Ascendant
You should get along well with others, for you make them feel good about you also. All your life, you should be very popular. By and large, life will probably seem easy to you, as long as you do not take the easiness for granted. If you can experience everything around you as beautiful and appreciate what you have, yours will be a very happy life. Venus Trine Mars
You have an enthusiasm for life that others will find inspiring and catching. You like to be with others and have good times, but you do not suppress your real self in order to do so. People will like you for being yourself, so you will attract people all your life. You will feel fulfilled and complete only when you are involved in creating something. The trine from Venus to Mars shows that you are warm, affectionate, and congenial. You have a happy disposition and look for the better qualities in the people you relate to. Your willingness to compromise encourages people to make concessions to you when it seems the right thing to do. Your creative talents could also be developed in the arts, drama, music, and appreciation for the dance. You express yourself easily and could succeed in occupations that require you to appear before the public in some capacity. Public relations would seem particularly appropriate. You tend to bring out the best in people. You have a deep understanding of human nature and usually try to be helpful when people need help. IP: Logged |
Mblake81
Knowflake Posts: 2480
From: The Upstate, Carolinas
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 09, 2011 02:11 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNYIvIRJJU4 Cap energy Feist What grew
What grew
What grew and inside who
First so simple was the vow
Then the chorus sang about
Your shoulder
The mooring for me
Like water lost in the sea The cold heart will burst
If mistrusted first
And a calm heart will break
When given a shake I'm a stem now
Pushing the drought aside
Opening up
Fanning my yellow eye
On the ferry
That's making the waves wave
Illumination
This is how my heart behaves The cold heart will burst
If mistrusted first
And a calm heart will break when given a shake (How her(or his) heart behaves)
The rain rain making me cry
(How her(or his) heart behaves)
Then the wind comes
Fanning my yellow eye
(How her(or his) heart behaves)
The waves wave the waves wave
This is how my heart behaves A cold heart will burst
If mistrusted first
And a calm heart will break
When given a shake
The cold heart will burst
If mistrusted first
And a calm heart will break
When given a shake What grew
What grew
What grew and inside who IP: Logged |
Mblake81
Knowflake Posts: 2480
From: The Upstate, Carolinas
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 09, 2011 02:22 AM
"You should be a Mod",First, Thank you for the offer, but understand I have no wish to become a moderator. I do not like moderating, It is very draining on me. And trust me, I will not be doing this for long. I hope you learn enough to be able to manage the peace without having to rely on anyone else but yourself. That is not a defeatist message. IP: Logged | |
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