Posts: 5852
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009

posted February 09, 2011 02:58 PM            

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Yep, my blood turned to ice cubes. Anything I thought I felt, went right out the window.

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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted February 09, 2011 05:31 PM            

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GW, it's good that you didn't let your romantic feelings cloud your judgment.

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"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted February 09, 2011 09:29 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
GW, it's good that you didn't let your romantic feelings cloud your judgment.

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I agree!

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First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie

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From: Venus next to Randall
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posted February 10, 2011 07:46 AM            

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Gyps, sorry to hear

It's amazing how some's true character is revealed after the fact.How is it possible that a person can wear a "mask" that long? It's puzzling.

I had a similiar experience - he seemed "normal" all the while we were together till we broke up,it's only then I saw sides to him I never imagined possible.
I suppose he realized the reality of us not reconcilling and that he had lost the control he had over me..Can't say for sure..but glad that came to light sooner than later.

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From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
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posted February 10, 2011 11:22 AM            

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It IS puzzling Charm, but it's in the moments of vulnerability that we truly see who they are as well as ourselves.
He was drunk, as I said, so he couldn't keep up the mask.
Good thing I found that out when I did.

You will see peoples true colors alot that way, if they are in an altered state of some kind. Or, if they are extremely sad, distraught, angered, grieved.. etc.
That's when we see what they are made of.
And our reactions show what we are made of.
Better to know sooner than later, but it doesn't always work out that way, b/c some of them have had tons of practice wearing that mask.
Anyway, glad you are no longer in that situation!

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posted February 10, 2011 11:25 AM            

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Thank God you don't have any kids with him. From personal experience, I can say animal abusers are usually child abusers as well. There is usually a need to abuse someone smaller, and unable to protect themselves.

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“If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.” — Charley Reese

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From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
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posted February 10, 2011 11:53 AM            

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Very true Soulful, very true.
I wouldn't of had kids with him, I don't think.
He was a sort of short rebound thing after my first divorce, when I was nineteen.
He ended up in prison for a very long time.
So, in the end, things usually right themselves.

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted February 10, 2011 01:39 PM            

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OK Ladies......
What was the age gap/ages with these terrible guys?

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First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie
“An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.”~Aldous Huxley
"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over and start a rehab for the damned!" ~LEXX

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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 10, 2011 01:46 PM            

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Pluto's influence allows me to rip off masks--sometimes rather quickly--sometimes not so fast. I have seen sometimes the ugliness underneath, but I have also seen true beauty (of a lot of people here in Lindaland). It's a double-edged sword...but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne

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From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 10, 2011 03:30 PM            

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Gyps, some just need rejection for the bubble to pop.

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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 10, 2011 03:38 PM            

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You have Pluto trines,Randall which make Pluto kind of effortless and natural to you.
I have Neptune trines and Neptune is that way with me.
However I have Pluto conjunct the MC sextile the Sun and Mercury so I have to work for Pluto unlike Neptune.
There is a big difference between the trine and the sextile.
The sextile demands quite a bit of effort and digging to mine,I think.
Do people agree/disagree?

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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted February 10, 2011 03:52 PM            

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Sextiles are accessible. Trines are incorporated.

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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted February 10, 2011 03:56 PM            

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The way I was taught Astrology, Trines and Sextiles have the same interpretations; however, a Trine indicates the qualities, while a Sextile shows the potential.

Yeah, my chart is filled with Trines, but I have some squares to balance them out. There can be no measure of success without some significant challenges in life, IMHO.

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"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne

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posted February 10, 2011 10:54 PM            

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quote:

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I would argue that UNDERAGE sex is not something that many people disagree about.

I would argue that the majority of people AGREE that underage (18 and younger) sex is an entirely different subject... NO ONE here, from what I've seen so far has argued that young people (18 and younger) should be having sex.

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http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/207234.html

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posted February 10, 2011 11:02 PM            

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It's hard to talk about this because the difference between 27 and 28 IS arbitrary....but then that means the difference between 17 and 3/4 and 18 and 1 day is arbitrary too! But yet it's true that many people agree with the legal age limits....

If you think 17 is too young and 18 isn't, why is that?

The difference between legal and illegal is one day in actual age.

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted February 10, 2011 11:04 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lucia23:
It's hard to talk about this because the difference between 27 and 28 IS arbitrary....but then that means the difference between 17 and 3/4 and 18 and 1 day is arbitrary too! But yet it's true that many people agree with the legal age limits....

If you think 17 is too young and 18 isn't, why is that?

The difference between legal and illegal is one day in actual age.

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A legal cut off age is just that.
There is no other way to do it but choose an age, which lawmakers did.

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted February 10, 2011 11:07 PM            

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Folks please remember;
I began this thread to discuss the issue of age gaps in relationships involving those 18 years old and older;
this thread is not for debates concerning minors and sex.

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From: The Upstate, Carolinas
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posted February 10, 2011 11:27 PM            

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Good lord, People **ACTUALLY** consider minors, when sex is the topic.

Go find a soul.

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From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009

posted February 10, 2011 11:28 PM            

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Sorry Lexx, it's gotten a bit off track..

RE: Pluto, according to Pullen I have more pluto aspects than anything.. I can't recall whether they are trines or what at the moment. Maybe we can all do a pullen thread again.

Lexx- to answer the age question..
When I was a young girl, in high school, I was always interested in older guys. My first boyfriend was when I was about 14 and he was in his first year in college...
So, I kind of did that older guy thing for awhile.
They guys knew, but I always hid it from my parents. So, that's the last thing I'll say regarding minors, b/c that wasn't what the thread was about, but I just wanted to answer your question.

My current r/ship is the first one I've ever had with what I see as a significant age gap.
Most times I have been with people my age, or up to 5 years difference in either direction, so this is entirely new to me.

I spent some time today considering AG's POV, and from what I gathered from it, he was saying (and maybe I got this wrong) that he would not go this far apart (as I am going right now, 15 years) on account of his concern for the OTHER person.
Do I have that right, AG?

Ok, I can admire that, that you really care what the other person may not really understand or anticipate.

My only question or response to that is what I had already stated, that Chris, my SO, ONLY dates older women. Always, since he first started dating.
So, I see that as HIS personal choice, and his preferance, it's not like I am just a kind of fluke thing that happened along, you know?

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted February 11, 2011 12:05 AM            

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GypseeWind
It is your SO's choice.
And yours!
It is nice seeing you happy!
I personally do not see a 15 years gap as a significant issue.
Like I said;
two of mine, both 15 years younger,
one relationship of 7+ years long and the other relationship of over 13 years long......
did not end because of the age gaps.
The 15 year gaps meant absolutely nothing.
As to going with more of a gap younger;
well my only concern would be whether the younger person would be possibly concerned.
It would not bother me in the least if I knew they were happy with me,
and of course, me with them.

PS.
Randall asked if I had an age gap preference.....
not really,
but I suppose at my age at this time,
a gap of up to 30 years older or younger would be a comfortable range to me personally.
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First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie
“An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.”~Aldous Huxley
"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over and start a rehab for the damned!" ~LEXX

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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted February 11, 2011 12:34 AM            

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I think it has a lot to do with statistics. Age 18 grants a certain amount of mental prowess to allow one to take on many of the responsibilities of adulthood, including moving away from home, the signing of contracts, getting married, obtaining a credit card, and voting. Some privileges are reserved for age 21, which would lend to more maturity--like drinking and firearm ownership. But I think 25 is a great age to use for the apex of mental maturity, since statistically speaking, drivers at that age tend to have fewer tickets and accidents, so logic would dictate that this is the age reasoning capacity is most concrete. Statistics are just that--statistics--but insurance companies live by them, and the age barriers at each level are probably a good idea.

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"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne

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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted February 11, 2011 01:34 AM            

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Gypsee, I hope I haven't been too offensive to you. I wouldn't guess that many people judge your relationship harshly, and I obviously have no way of knowing such a thing. I just know Sags to a degree and Scorps to a degree, and I think they'd make it work in their witnesses eyes.

15 years younger for me would be 23. That would have to be one mature 23 year old, in my opinion, for it to be able to work. While she might revel in the naughtiness of dating an older man I would think it would have to be a little weird to consider that I might be more comfortable with her parent's generation than hers. I have several friends that are or could be parents of a 23 year old. How cool would that be that I relate with her lame parent's generation so easily? So, that's my thought process there. You're both older in your relationship, so I think that works a little better.

15 years older than me would be a person born in the '50's. My parents were born in '50. If my friend born in the '50's is super cool, we can just hang out I think. It's not necessary for me to take it to that level, and frankly I don't think they'd expect me to join them in a romantic relationship. A 53 year old woman, what is she going to say? She's going to expect that I'm going to want kids and a family, isn't she (I've never been married or had kids)? Not something she'd like to sign up for (even though my own thoughts about having a family are quite nebulous). It would be very difficult for me to justify looking for a relationship there.

For me, about an 8 year range in either direction is probably best. I pick 8 because of Chinese astrology (the Chinese signs 0 and 4 and 8 years away from your own are supposed to be the most compatible). For me that's ages 30 - 46. I think that's a great 16 year range to choose from.

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posted February 11, 2011 02:48 AM            

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my ex-beau broke up with me for a girl that just turned 21... he is 34. I completely think is unacceptable. He has all these "tricks" up his sleeve that he could easily use on a young girl and she would have no clue what is going on. He as already manipulated her a couple times and she trust him b/c he's an "older" man and she believes that he would do no harm to her. I feel sorry for her b/c she is going to have a serious wake up call one day...

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Posts: 954
From: A Place of Pure Love <3
Registered: Feb 2011

posted February 11, 2011 02:21 PM            

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Having "tricks up your sleeve" has nothing to do with age, my man had "tricks up his sleeve" and he's six years younger than I am. It's just a matter of being one or two steps ahead.
Yes pasts experiences are helpful, but at the end of the day, that thirty four year old could have just as easily been a nineteen year old.

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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted February 11, 2011 02:27 PM            

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Not really. The age seniority can give the older person the upper hand. In fact, it can be the motivation for the older person to prey on the younger if that sort of power is what they're after.

I used to work with a woman that did this. She got a much younger man, my age, to go out with her, and then sucked him dry financially using all manner of manipulation.

What you're saying is true in the sense that a younger partner could also manipulate in some way provided they feel equal to their elder partner.

I'm just saying that age can play a factor. The older person can exploit their age superiority for power. It's like a sugar daddy's manipulation. They know what the other person is in the relationship for, and they exploit that power for their own aims.

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