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Author
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Topic: CONSENTING ADULTS AND AGE GAPS
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rajji
Knowflake Posts: 1274
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted February 09, 2011 04:12 AM
  
THANK YOU, ACOUSTIC GOD AND MBLAKE FOR STANDING BY ....
and ACKNOWLEDGING MY CONCERNS... U will be revered for it....IP: Logged |
rajji
Knowflake Posts: 1274
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted February 09, 2011 04:36 AM
i did try posting earlier but there seemed to be some technical problem with the site..
Now it seems fine...that i could post.IP: Logged |
rajji
Knowflake Posts: 1274
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted February 09, 2011 05:05 AM
I have already stated that these are just my views..
I have the least intention to offend anybody here.
This is a sort of a debate Where everybody has their OWN FREE WILL to speak for or against the topic.
If thats not the case then im sorry!
In debates as i have known, ONES PERSONAL VIEWS...
are supposed to be not taken personally BY THE OTHER party....DEBATES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN SPORTIVELY ! well thats the SPIRIT of a DEBATE!
I THOUGHT WE are here TO EXPRESS our concerns related to ONES own experiences.IP: Logged |
rajji
Knowflake Posts: 1274
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted February 09, 2011 05:54 AM
Well when it comes to what difference it makes in one year that is 27 or 28?or for that matter 10 years? for me, is the same as it would make when one considers the ages between 17 and 18..."To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics." So if only one millisecond could make so much of a difference then i understand how much could one year make??
That 1 is an important basic measure even in the 'NATURE and SCOPE OF A RELATIONSHIP' for me. IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 7225
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 08:40 AM
All the preoccupation with age. “She’s only 20, what does she know about relationships? Shame on him! A 36 year old man dating a girl that young! He must be doing it for the sex, the perv!!” And so it goes.. Why the fuss if it’s consenting adults? No one can judge a relationship that they don’t partake in. Only the parties inside the relationship knows the inside scoop and they will also know if it’s working or not. Personally, I have been judged as well because people take me at face value and assume I’m in my late teens, clueless about love/relationships and feel the need to “protect” me from making a “mistake”. Actually it’s funny  It proves how people perceive and make assumptions on looks alone. There have been times I have dated chronologically younger men (well only two) yet they were accused of baiting a young girl lol Society needs to stop following the notions and conformities of others just to fit in.
Live and let Live!!
IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: May 2013
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posted February 09, 2011 10:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by AcousticGod:
Why do you think I believe these things about you? It's precisely threads like that coupled with evidence that you attract psychos, and you can't keep a relationship.
That may or may not be a reflection on anyone's character. Relationships in general seem to be difficult for everyone, these days. Just sayin'. Also, there are a fairly high number of psychos in the world. Everyone is positioned to bump into a few, in their lives. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 10:30 AM
I actually teach NLP in seminars. It requires an understanding of the human psyche that you can't get from books. And DUH, the reason I attract those who are psychologically imbalanced is because I, myself, am so stable. They naturally flock to me. And I tend to be very healing for them. For example, I took one from cutting herself and thinking she was seeing demons to going to college and to becoming a teacher. Knowing what women want is universal. But finding The One is a rarity shared among us all. And just like you were wrong about my astrological placements (or lack thereof), likewise, you are wrong about me not being able to keep a relationship. From your own words on this very string, it isn't logical to stay in a relationship if it no longer makes sense. I have had a few long-term (more than a year) meaningful relationships which furthered my growth. I'm in a relationship now, and she is much like myself--a mentally stable and emotionally secure free-thinking individual who has attracted one or more of her own psychos in the past. In fact, AG, you are wrong about a lot of things a lot of the time. But I have once heard you admit it. Do you not concede that the placements in my chart that I have chosen to share grant insight related to psychology? I would likely have a thriving practice if I chose that field. I have a loaded 5th, so perhaps child psychology. And BTW, where did you hear I can't keep a relationship anyway? My last ex was a 4-year relationship. Let's just stop assuming that you know anything about me, shall we? You have a horrid track record in your guesses about me, and truth be known, that doesn't surprise me in the least. Now, can we get LEXX's string back on track?IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 11:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by rajji:
I have already stated that these are just my views..
I have the least intention to offend anybody here.
This is a sort of a debate Where everybody has their OWN FREE WILL to speak for or against the topic.
If thats not the case then im sorry!
In debates as i have known, ONES PERSONAL VIEWS...
are supposed to be not taken personally BY THE OTHER party....DEBATES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN SPORTIVELY ! well thats the SPIRIT of a DEBATE!
I THOUGHT WE are here TO EXPRESS our concerns related to ONES own experiences.
Touche`
Yes.
I know most do not agree with me and that is fine by me!
I KNOW BY MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES
THAT HAVING NO AGE GAP WORKS FOR ME AND ALWAYS HAS! However I know just because it has always been and will continue to be right for me, does not mean it is right for every person. ------------------
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 11:29 AM
Deleted the following from previous page and re-posting it here in case Randall missed the reply.
It also recaps in part my views based on MY personal experience with the age gap issue! quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
LEXX, sorry for the diverting of your topic. Do you have a preferred age range?
No problem!
The diversions are fine.
Do I have a preferred age range?
Never really have and still do not.
Legal is a must of course.I posted this previously:
quote:
Well,
I am not going to let age gaps stop me, even large ones;
never have let it get in my way, and never will.
Like got to doing the math and there is well over a century betwixt my "interests/involvement" for relationships/intimacy.
118 years to be exact betwixt my oldest to date and my youngest, if the eldest were still alive!
LOL!LOL, whilst there is an intriguing notion, of having lovers spanning 3 centuries, 1800s,
1900s, and 2000s.....
I would have to wait about 7+ more years before the ones born in the 2000s are legal.
I hopefully will be completely and totally involved and happy in a relationship long before those 2000s become legal. If anyone finds my views insane or offensive.....
I do not care! My brothers look down on my choices,
yet they see nothing wrong with their relationships with girls/women 23 to 33 years younger!
Fraking double standards! And like I said before....
I would not be here if my 70 year old grandpa and teenage grandmother had not gotten together!
Additionally;
even with the segues away from topic;
I feel that this is still a positive thing in that;
Any heavy debate/discussion concerning relationship dynamics and points of view is good!
------------------
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie
IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5852
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 11:39 AM
This thread is a perfect case study for human nature.Now you see two strong male personalities hashing it out.
But it still turns personal. Imagine how the women here feel! Since we so clearly outnumber the men. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 11:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by GypseeWind:
This thread is a perfect case study for human nature.Now you see two strong male personalities hashing it out.
But it still turns personal. Imagine how the women here feel! Since we so clearly outnumber the men.
Yeppers!
I am enjoying muchly!
I love getting to really know folks better!  ------------------
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5852
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 12:28 PM
Me too Lexx. My Scorpio bits are amused. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 12:29 PM
Okay, AG, you win.------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 12:31 PM
I saw your first reply, LEXX. I think it jibes well with who you are and works for you. Like the adage says: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."  ------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 12:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by GypseeWind:
Me too Lexx. My Scorpio bits are amused.
No, it is not amused I feel;
but fascinated and intrigued!  ------------------
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 12:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
I saw your first reply, LEXX. I think it jibes well with who you are and works for you. Like the adage says: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Exactly!
Thank you! ------------------
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7816
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 01:07 PM
Decent point, PS. With regards to your second point, I would say that as an adult, certainly an adult over 30, you should be able to suss out the obviously psycho pretty easily.Ok, I don't accept winning. I accept the notion of not continuing this here, however, if that is what is wished for. I've emailed Randall my response. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5852
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 01:13 PM
http://www.suite101.com/content/age-gap-relationships-a60394 Does the person make you happy? Do they treat you well? That is what really matters. An age gap matters less thoughout time. http://www.ehow.com/how_5080741_make-there-big-age-difference.html IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 01:24 PM
Some people hide their psychoses well. You never truly know someone till you live with that person...or break up with him/her.  And my response to your e-mail, AG, is the same as the one I gave you here. Congratulations.  ------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 01:26 PM
GW: ------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 02:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Some people hide their psychoses well. You never truly know someone till you live with that person...or break up with him/her.
Oh man that is frighteningly true! 
One of my exes #1, was a Heroin addict.
I never knew. He was what is known as a highly functional addict. I did not know about it until some 2 years after I left him.
Another a pedophile #2.
People can hide the weirdest stuff.
My current husband, # 3, is a really good guy but finally his issues came to be something I finally saw, and realized, whoa, this is not something I can help him with nor
can I fix. I was getting dragged down into his abysmal abyss along with him.
So yeah, even living together for years as I did with all 3 exes, does not guarantee there
will not be deal breaking issues later on or hidden things.
So now my idea is;
talk talk and talk more.
Get to really know each other.
Make sure you have enough in common intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, shared interests, look into any habits, like views on smoking/drinking that need to be addressed, and views on sex before you actually have sex.
Even things like sports or pets can be an issue. Lay those cards out on the table right off!
Basically go into it with eyes wide open, serious reality checks, and so forth.....
If the potential relationship cannot survive the "interview" stage;
well;
it is not going to work in the long run.
Each person must be real, be themselves, no matter the age or age gaps, race, gender, size, and so forth if it is going to have a real chance at working.PS. Still with 3rd.husband, working it out some 16 years to date. ------------------
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 47265
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 09, 2011 02:10 PM
Randall
I LOVE your use of this smilie
LOL
------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You have to be strong enough to be gentle.Peace through strength,ALWAYS
Me IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5852
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 02:19 PM
Man, that is so true!
I was just thinking about blogging about this same subject!
People base so much on attraction, and whether there are or are not sparks.
But you really HAVE to take into account personal likes and dislikes, and common interests. It's a MUST!I had an ex who was a heroin addict too, and I found out in a horrible way.
*shudder* I never wish to go through that ordeal again. It took him over 20 years to clean up. But, we are still friends though. Another ex I had, did not like dogs.
I thought, "Meh, no big deal, some people are cat people, some people are dog people.."
WRONG.
One night when he was at my house, he had been drinking.. and he got irritated because this Doberman I had would not play with him, when he wanted to play.
The dog was right, he was an idiot. 
Anyway, he kicked my dog!
I kicked him out, and that was the end of that! But, seriously, you need to discuss everything from diet, down to what you do on the holidays, to cleaning, to recreation.. EVERYTHING!! Course, you probably won't agree on all the aspects, but the more you can agree on, the less trouble you will have.
At least, that is what common sense would say! IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9743
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 02:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by GypseeWind:
Man, that is so true!
I was just thinking about blogging about this same subject!
People base so much on attraction, and whether there are or are not sparks.
But you really HAVE to take into account personal likes and dislikes, and common interests. It's a MUST!I had an ex who was a heroin addict too, and I found out in a horrible way.
*shudder* I never wish to go through that ordeal again. It took him over 20 years to clean up. But, we are still friends though. Another ex I had, did not like dogs.
I thought, "Meh, no big deal, some people are cat people, some people are dog people.."
WRONG.
One night when he was at my house, he had been drinking.. and he got irritated because this Doberman I had would not play with him, when he wanted to play.
The dog was right, he was an idiot.
Anyway, he kicked my dog!
I kicked him out, and that was the end of that! But, seriously, you need to discuss everything from diet, down to what you do on the holidays, to cleaning, to recreation.. EVERYTHING!! Course, you probably won't agree on all the aspects, but the more you can agree on, the less trouble you will have.
At least, that is what common sense would say!
Oh yes indeed!
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First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. – Dale Carnegie IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32463
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 02:26 PM
He kicked your dog? Shades of Anubis! That calls for an @ss kicking in my book.  ------------------
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne IP: Logged |
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