Author
|
Topic: Why Do Woman Like Bad Boys
|
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37580 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted October 16, 2012 10:07 AM
Disclaimer--This is my opinion, as the author. Anyone is free to agree or disagree, but please keep it civil Why Do Woman Like Bad Boys? By amiann
I am writing this for two groups. One is the guy who tries to be the nice guy and loses the girl to the bad boy. The other is the girl who falls for the bad guy, while crying on the shoulder of the good guy People are complicated. Therein lies the rub. Let me see if I can open myself up enough( i.e. expose myself ) to tackle this subject. *Sigh* I am very passionate about truth. That is because lies will kill you. If you see someone who is dying from his emotional problems, the simple truth would heal him. However, he is armored with defenses that make his accepting of it, impossible. That is what therapy is designed to accomplish, but it does so, poorly. First of all, most therapists are impotent, in my experience. Second, the person has an arsenal of defenses built up, which it would take a great deal of emotional work to release. Most therapists go at this in a left brain way, which engages the logical side of the brain. This will never work, as the emotional side of the brain must release and reorganize itself. Talk therapy will not help if one spends a lifetime on it. I digress from my subject of why girls like bad boys. However, it is not a complete digression as the root lies in the girl�s sense of self. However, I think all girls( people) have a warped sense of self. The degree would change in various individuals, but the warped sense of self exists in all of us. Back, again, to girls and bad boys. All woman are attracted to the bad boy, in varying degrees. I think it is because we, all, know we are bad, at the core. Society dresses us up with social graces, but inside we know what we are. The nice guy will not show us who we are. The bad boy knows. We know he knows and we do, too. That is what becomes the perfect marriage, so to speak. The bad boy allows us to be who we are: bad. He allows us to experience our �bad� passions, which are really not bad, such socially taboo. Usually, the bad boy does not follow social mores. That allows the good girl to cast them off when she is with him, in a way she cannot do without him. Last but not least, the bad boy feels like your abusive past, if you had one. He feels like home. He feels like coming home. If you have not had an abusive past, you still have been wounded by life and have the part of you which feels unworthy. With the bad boy, you can let it show. He knows you have it and you do, too. You can be free, wild and primal. Maybe, that is what we all want( and crave) ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 1848 From: Registered: May 2009
|
posted October 16, 2012 10:17 AM
I am going to digest this more, but I absolutely agree!Society puts those norms on us, which not all of us desire to conform to... Same reason men like bad girls~ IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka Knowflake Posts: 1954 From: Toronto Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted October 16, 2012 10:33 AM
Well, I was in an abusive relationship for a long time and I had an abusive childhood. So I guess I am disqualified from any sort of debate or speculation on your theory. lulzIP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37580 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted October 16, 2012 10:34 AM
quote: Originally posted by hippichick: I am going to digest this more, but I absolutely agree!Society puts those norms on us, which not all of us desire to conform to... Same reason men like bad girls~
Thank you, Hippi I put this up, on here, because I am getting great confirmation from woman that it resonates with them. This warms my heart like little else, as I feel I am making a difference. Love you, Hippi ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka Knowflake Posts: 1954 From: Toronto Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted October 16, 2012 10:35 AM
One thing I've noticed is that my current boyfriend - he's a good guy. My ex - was a textbook bad boy. My current boyfriend is sincere, genuine and sweet but a bit awkward in terms of his sense of humour and everything. And he can be overly sappy sometimes. He lacks the inherent "coolness" of my ex and I'm not going to lie - I miss it sometimes.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37580 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted October 16, 2012 10:35 AM
quote: Originally posted by Aquacheeka: Well, I was in an abusive relationship for a long time and I had an abusive childhood. So I guess I am disqualified from any sort of debate or speculation on your theory. lulz
No, you are making my point! The abuse is like "coming home". You know I had an abusive past, so I am talking from my own past, too ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37580 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted October 16, 2012 10:41 AM
quote: Originally posted by Aquacheeka: One thing I've noticed is that my current boyfriend - he's a good guy. My ex - was a textbook bad boy. My current boyfriend is sincere, genuine and sweet but a bit awkward in terms of his sense of humour and everything. And he can be overly sappy sometimes. He lacks the inherent "coolness" of my ex and I'm not going to lie - I miss it sometimes.
I KNOW. That is what I mean. I have an article on woman who fall for sociopaths that I have not put up either. I will, later ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka Knowflake Posts: 1954 From: Toronto Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted October 16, 2012 10:46 AM
quote: Originally posted by Ami Anne: No, you are making my point! The abuse is like "coming home". You know I had an abusive past, so I am talking from my own past, too
The problem is, he wasn't like that in the beginning. I think the difference for those of us who grew up with abuse is that when those true colours show, a woman who didn't might immediately run whereas we're more inclined to stay and tolerate it, think we can change the person.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37580 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:00 AM
What I am saying( based on my opinion) is that he WAS that way in the beginning hiding under a charming exterior.------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4079 From: Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:04 AM
There's nothing more I would like to do than to take a "bad boy" out to the backyard and b1tch slap the guy to a pulp.The fact of the matter is that most of the "bad boys" are wusses inside and are as chicken sh1t as can be. No, I don't like bad girls. IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 1848 From: Registered: May 2009
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:10 AM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: There's nothing more I would like to do than to take a "bad boy" out to the backyard and b1tch slap the guy to a pulp.The fact of the matter is that most of the "bad boys" are wusses inside and are as chicken sh1t as can be.
Gosh, I love your take on things!!! Once, when I was taking care of open heart surgery patients, I had a MS13, yep, straight from LA to SA Woose? Terrible. I told him, just cause the pulse ox clip hurt his finger, "I'll bet IT HURT those people whose lives you destroyed, with your stupid tear drop tattos...really?" He shut up real fast...and he, eventually began to straighten his life out, cause his girlfriend and the mother of his kids was done... I took a liking to him and his gfriend... Bad boy, for sure....alone and vulnerable not so bad. BTW he ruined his heart with coke~ t~ IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37580 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:10 AM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: There's nothing more I would like to do than to take a "bad boy" out to the backyard and b1tch slap the guy to a pulp.The fact of the matter is that most of the "bad boys" are wusses inside and are as chicken sh1t as can be.
YES, you are right *sigh* After this thread plays out, I will put up my article on woman who fall for sociopaths, as that has some ideas on what in the woman's past makes her susceptible. ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37580 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:11 AM
What is MS 13? Master Seargent(sp)?------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4079 From: Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:25 AM
MS-13 - Mara Salvatrucha. One of the most brutal organized gang in existence. Makes the Silician mob look gentrified. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MS-13 A Master Sergeant would be an E-7 in military parlance. IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 1848 From: Registered: May 2009
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:36 AM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: MS-13 - Mara Salvatrucha. One of the most brutal organized gang in existence. Makes the Silician mob look gentrified. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MS-13 A Master Sergeant would be an E-7 in military parlance.
YEP! The epitome of "bad boy"
Even the not so known gangs are terrible woosies~ Like I said in numbers ok..got it..alone...they crumble...
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4079 From: Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:37 AM
As is standard with these bunch of thugs, remove the arms and remove the gang protection, each become individual pieces of turd.I protected my white wife once in a neighborhood that we were accidentally passing by. One pointed a firearm nervously, and I believed it was a toy fake. I told the thug to shoot because I knew he didn't have the guts to shoot, and the firearm, if even real, was probably unloaded. His hand was unsteady as a virgin at sex. Whatever. And these "bad boys" expect me to respect them just because of some stupid tattoo, leather jacket or Harley Davidson? Gimme a break. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 4486 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:38 AM
since we are on the topic of honesty and truth i'd just like to say that I can not and will not respect women who like bad boys no mattet how they try to rationalize it. its a serious problem and is extremely unhealthy and women need to realize that. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37580 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:40 AM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: since we are on the topic of honesty and truth i'd just like to say that I can not and will not respect women who like bad boys no mattet how they try to rationalize it. its a serious problem and is extremely unhealthy and women need to realize that.
I was thinking of you when I wrote the article, as you have asked this question, on here. ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4079 From: Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted October 16, 2012 11:59 AM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: since we are on the topic of honesty and truth i'd just like to say that I can not and will not respect women who like bad boys no mattet how they try to rationalize it. its a serious problem and is extremely unhealthy and women need to realize that.
Indeed. It is serious red flag and an immediate deal breaker. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka Knowflake Posts: 1954 From: Toronto Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted October 16, 2012 12:32 PM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: As is standard with these bunch of thugs, remove the arms and remove the gang protection, each become individual pieces of turd.I protected my white wife once in a neighborhood that we were accidentally passing by. One pointed a firearm nervously, and I believed it was a toy fake. I told the thug to shoot because I knew he didn't have the guts to shoot, and the firearm, if even real, was probably unloaded. His hand was unsteady as a virgin at sex. Whatever. And these "bad boys" expect me to respect them just because of some stupid tattoo, leather jacket or Harley Davidson? Gimme a break.
Not all bad boys join gangs. Many of them join bands lol. And don't aim guns at people or anything of the sort. They're just extremely self-destructive.
IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka Knowflake Posts: 1954 From: Toronto Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted October 16, 2012 12:32 PM
Oftentimes you only recognize a bad boy by contrast/in retrospect. You don't see it at the time. Especially if you're the type of person who wants to see the best in people. Idealistic types (Pisces-influenced people) are especially prone to falling for "bad boys."IP: Logged |
ail221 Knowflake Posts: 1789 From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home Registered: Feb 2012
|
posted October 16, 2012 01:01 PM
I don't see the "bad boy" as a simple black and white issue/image. The Bad Boy doesn't always mean abuser, druggie, masochist wearing leather, with guns, or knives stashed in his pockets looking to destroy the world because of whatever inner turmoil he can't verbally express. Or the black eyeliner wearing, tattoos covering his body guy either or any other etc images or personality traits you associate with that phrase. Just as the image of th nice girl, the bad girl, the nerd, the virgin, the christian, the atheist etc. doesn't mean the same thing. The "Bad Boy" is more of a cultural image, he goes against the norm or the conservative side of society, he's the rebel this spontaneous, unpredictable, intelligent, primal thing that plays by his own rules. Regardless of what some people say there are good and bad aspects to every persona but some people are more comfortable accepting certain types traits with certain images but their not all the same. Just as some people are more drawn to certain persona's because its something they can relate to. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 4486 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted October 16, 2012 01:06 PM
here's why the bad boy bullsh*t ****** nice guys off so much and why we become bitter and cynical towards women. first off we are constantly told our flaws and given reasons why we are unsuccessful with women,the main excuse being that we lack confidence( I hate that f*cking word!). What these women fail to realize is that guys like me might be more confident if we were actually appreciated by women, i'd be confident as hell if I knew women were attracted to decent guys, but the majority aren't! and the real kicker to all this is the fact that women give unabashed love and support to guys who are criminals, druggies, abusers, liars, and cheaters. but yet a guy who has tons of good qualities is rejected because he isn't confident with women. pssh! confidence!!! what a crock of sh*t!!IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4079 From: Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted October 16, 2012 01:08 PM
quote: Originally posted by Aquacheeka: Not all bad boys join gangs. Many of them join bands lol. And don't aim guns at people or anything of the sort. They're just extremely self-destructive.
And I'm sorry but there's the usual animosity between the nerds/geeks and the bad boys. There are instances where the bad boys succeed tremendously in life, but more often than not, the nerds/geeks get their revenge after school is done. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4079 From: Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted October 16, 2012 01:14 PM
Anyway, to each their own, whatever their preferences are.Everybody gets what they deserve, and they get to choose what comes to them. IP: Logged |