posted March 25, 2013 10:08 PM            

i'll leave it at that.

Going to group meetings that cater to your interests are a good start.

I've met guys that eventaully turned into relationships at bars and don't think there is anything particularly wrong with that. Bars to me are like big living rooms, where people gather, relax and let loose, play games, sit around and have great conversation, listen to great music and are usually looking their best. Can be quite a fun time and great way to meet someone, imo.

posted March 25, 2013 10:12 PM            

Do your thing and you will at some point find another cool chick who is also doing her own thing and your things will mesh.

Guys who hit up bars all the time and wonder how ever to meet a girl, where they all are etc. are kind of boring.

posted March 25, 2013 10:24 PM            

I've discussed this a few times with people my age and we always end up at a bit of a loss.

posted March 25, 2013 10:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Single females like guys who are interesting and have a brain and arent just trolling around wondering where they could possibly meet a girl.

Do your thing and you will at some point find another cool chick who is also doing her own thing and your things will mesh.

Guys who hit up bars all the time and wonder how ever to meet a girl, where they all are etc. are kind of boring.

If you are there with friends and having a good time and not really thinking about how to snag a chick, it's different. Talk to them as if they are people, friends and not thinking about anything more..

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This should be a header at every online dating forum..

When I go out for an evening the last thing on my mind is hooking up, it is meeting old friends and new people who have something to say.

Some have looks, others are just interesting to be around b/c they have ideas, then there is sort of..everyone else so to speak.

posted March 25, 2013 10:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
This should be a header at every online dating forum..

When I go out for an evening the last thing on my mind is hooking up, it is meeting old friends and new people who have something to say.

Some have looks, others are just interesting to be around b/c they have ideas, then there is sort of..everyone else so to speak.

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Same here!

The highlight of a night is meeting people you can talk to for hours with. If they are also hilarious and you have to get kicked out at last call at the end of the night, but still continue to hold the conversation outside, all the better!

posted March 25, 2013 10:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
^but single guys are looking for women, thats just the way it is. why do we have fantasy notions that young single guys are just floating along not looking for women? Now guys may just be having fun shooting the breeze but they are also trying to put themselves into position to meet single women, lets not kid ourselves... I'm a guy and i have lots of guy friends and they are the same way, I have seen them all in action.I can assure you that all the guys took action and were trying to steer things in a romantic/sexual, it didnt "just happen". also the notion that a guy who is attracted to a woman and actively trying to steer things in a romantic/sexual direction is a scumbag who doesnt appreciate women as people but the "hot guy" who hits on a woman at the club and " things just happen" and he ends up using said woman as a booty call and nothing else,well he is ok because he just "went with the flow" . I'm beginning to realize more and more that i'm not compatible with this effed up modern culture

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posted March 25, 2013 10:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Same here!

The highlight of a night is meeting people you can talk to for hours with. If they are also hilarious and you have to get kicked out at last call at the end of the night, but still continue to hold the conversation outside, all the better!

I notice people who don't go to bars much equate them with hook-up spots. To me they are the best places to go to get to know the best side of a person. If there is great live music involved, all the better. I love talking to random people for a night, getting into interesting in depth convo and never seeing them again.

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Exactly, they and you step into the wind and are never heard from again..just that one moment in time..simply awesome.

I get where AG is coming from, he's a young guy and he sees everything as a target of opportunity.

posted March 25, 2013 10:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
You win some, you lose some. That's all I can say. If you seem to hit it off with a girl and that ends up being the end of it, just appreciate it for what it was and file her into your memory box. It wasnt meant to be anything more than what it was. One day down the road the connection will stick and something might come of it. Until then, enjoy the
ride. Enjoy the colorful characters you meet along the way.

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posted March 25, 2013 11:17 PM            

I know there are plenty of times I've gone out for the fun of it w/ friends, yet also looked good and not like I just rolled out of bed or anything (who would go out like that?), but looked good because I wanted to and everyone feels better when they do......not with the intention of hoping to attract someone. But just to go out, socialize, be with friends, have fun etc. No one is going to do that without getting dressed up a bit. Sometimes you want to go out with your friends to get out and that's it. To be with them, share good times with them and really arent out there for any other reason.

Females often meet up to chit-chat about what's going on in their lives. If you see two females having a drink together, chitchatting away at a bar, it does not mean they are there waiting for a guy to hit on them. They might just be catching up and looking to have a great time together as friends and that's it...

I don't know. Maybe I'm weird.

I'm reminded of this Van Morrson song:

And all the girls walk by
Dressed up for each other
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX2_HahKoe4

posted March 25, 2013 11:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
they could both be having guy drama going on and meeting up to discuss, for support and to share a good time and not really want anything to do with other guys.....

they are allowed to do that in public, get some great drinks and food and look good while doing so. especially outside at a beach bar.

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To me, I have fun with that situation, I'll be like "..of course you know, I'll have to hit on you two, suspect you'd be disappointed if I didn't..."

Just light hearted stuff, normally they laugh and I'll leave, no intention of doing anything just poking fun at what is expected at bars.

Bookstores are great, ditto coffee shops or doing stuff outdoors like rafting or what have you

I suspect what AG should understand is bars and clubs..it really is all about attractiveness when it comes to what he has in mind.

And it is a very very cruel game with no mercy nor pity for the non drop dead gorgeous.

posted March 25, 2013 11:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Realistically the only way to potentially meet someone of like mind is by doing what you love to do and running into them. Whether that is by joining a group, or just getting out into the world and doing what you love and bumping into someone. Love yourself, what you do and your life, have hobbies, find a new hobby....maybe photography or something first and you will become magnetic, energized and that is an attractor factor (lol sounds so lame and new age)....and eventually meet someone into the same kinds of things, just by being in the right place at the right time and aborbed with the world around you and happy in your moment. When you are in that sort of zen-like state, the whole world comes rushing towards you. Focus less on meeting people and more how to make your own life more beautiful and see what happens...[/B]

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posted March 25, 2013 11:32 PM            

especially not at home. Sometimes we are just there for the appetizers, and not the guys. lol

posted March 25, 2013 11:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
wow, you just completely missed the point. Of course everyone does things just for fun. i go to sporting events with other guys to just watch the game. my point was if a single guy is actively socializing with women theres a 99% chance he has intentions, unless he is gay of course.

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posted March 25, 2013 11:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
wow, you just completely missed the point. Of course everyone does things just for fun. i go to sporting events with other guys to just watch the game. my point was if a single guy is actively socializing with women theres a 99% chance he has intentions, unless he is gay of course.

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I think you may be overestimating.

I hesitate to say this as you're a bit sensitive, buuuut...
...the reason that you may be scaring off (by your account) women is that they're picking up on your "own the prowl" vibe.

C'mon - you've known guys who've gotten hit on much more by women once they were in a committed, happy relationship.
I know you have, because women hit on those guys *because* they don't have that vibe.

Believe it or not, we can sense when we're being looked at as walking vaginas rather than people with which to interact.

posted March 25, 2013 11:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
You can't get good calamari and drinks just anywhere you know....

especially not at home. Sometimes we are just there for the appetizers, and not the guys. lol

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One of my favorites, with good marinara..just yummy

I also have noticed, you can tell a lot about why a person is there by what they are drinking.

A mixed drink usually means they are there to chill out and will be leaving soon, a draft beer means they plan on hanging out.

Bottled beer..tbh..poor taste in beer..

posted March 25, 2013 11:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

To me, I have fun with that situation, I'll be like "..of course you know, I'll have to hit on you two, suspect you'd be disappointed if I didn't..."

Just light hearted stuff, normally they laugh and I'll leave, no intention of doing anything just poking fun at what is expected at bars.

Bookstores are great, ditto coffee shops or doing stuff outdoors like rafting or what have you

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posted March 25, 2013 11:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mockingbird:

Believe it or not, we can sense when we're being looked at as walking vaginas rather than people with which to interact.

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posted March 25, 2013 11:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Exactly. lol Some guys get this creepy glint in their eyes and they almost shapeshift before your eyes into a panting ravenous wolf. It's gross.

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They go "werewolf"

One moment, normal nice enough guy, next minute they lost their damn mind. They look like dogs wanting to go outside..same vapid expression..panting..it's not pretty.

posted March 25, 2013 11:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
One of my favorites, with good marinara..just yummy

I also have noticed, you can tell a lot about why a person is there by what they are drinking.

A mixed drink usually means they are there to chill out and will be leaving soon, a draft beer means they plan on hanging out.

Bottled beer..tbh..poor taste in beer..

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I was out recently with a girlfriend and they were served up with a sweet and spicy aioli dip. Was so delicious we had to ask for more. I agree, a good marinara is great too.

I've not thought too much about learning alot about a person by their drink. If I saw a guy drinking a cosmo though....i might look twice.

posted March 25, 2013 11:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
They go "werewolf"

One moment, normal nice enough guy, next minute they lost their damn mind. They look like dogs wanting to go outside..same vapid expression..panting..it's not pretty.

lol!

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lol!