posted March 26, 2013 12:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Any time we suggest [b]not just zooming in on a woman and "actively" trying to capture her heart or whatever, we are hoping to make you realize that men can intimidate women when they do that, which is counter-productive for the men.

That is also biology.

No matter how nice, cute, and charming you are, if you are 6'4" and weigh twice as much as the woman you approach, she is probably going to be a little afraid (unless she's packing heat, maybe?)

There's no reason to complain about this, it has nothing to do with brainwashing or politics, it's just a simple, primitive, "fight or flight" response on her part.

Why complain? That's just how it is. Just like, if a woman is dressed all sexy and saunters by you, you would s
ay that
she can't complain if you have your natural reaction of being attracted.

Right?[/B]

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posted March 26, 2013 12:33 PM            

We're saying, "Dude. If that's your driving force, the women who are worth being interested in will not be interested in you."

And (sorry, I only skimmed your posts - vacation), a few bullet points (again, sorry, pressed for time):

* You had a crappy childhood with an awful, abusive father.
Take it as lessons on how not to act and say to the past, "Thanks for the tutorial - now get thee behind me."

* The girls around you keep going for awful guys?
Not all girls do that, I can assure you.
Find a different social circle.
Maybe take a pottery class or something

* Let your big head be your guide.
Show yourself, not whatever others are currently seeing.
I know that they're not seeing "you" because "you" seem like a not scary, sensitive guy...not like someone who'll scare off women at 100 paces.

posted March 26, 2013 12:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
I've said all this before but he wouldn't listen to me, saying I couldn't give him advice since I wasn't in his shoes. And because I, and others, try to tell him otherwise, he says we miss the point.

When will you listen, aquaguy?

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That cake looks delish my favorite

Yes, he mentioned everyone on the site said he can't get a girl because he's too angry. And he admits he's angry.

Aquaguy, we all want you to be happy!

You obviously have a lot of pain, and you feel are not finding a sympathetic ear here. No, a lot of us don't 'understand', because we haven't been in the same situation. It's definitely not your 'fault'; you have had a horrible childhood. You haven't had any positive male or female role models in your life. Women and men who grow up in a violent household often end up in abusive relationships, themselves, because this is what they perceive as 'normal' due to their childhood conditioning. No child should have seen what you have seen.

However, you're only punishing YOURSELF by keeping yourself in this prison of anger and frustration. When I read through this thread, you don't really seem to want advice; you just want to vent your anger and frustration. You should talk to someone who knows how to deal with this kind of stuff, and maybe join a support group consisting of those who have had similar experiences.

posted March 26, 2013 12:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Faith:
[b] Any time we suggest [b]not just zooming in on a woman and "actively" trying to capture her heart or whatever, we are hoping to make you realize that men can intimidate women when they do that, which is counter-productive for the men.

That is also biology.

No matter how nice, cute, and charming you are, if you are 6'4" and weigh twice as much as the woman you approach, she is probably going to be a little afraid (unless she's packing heat, maybe?)

There's no reason to complain about this, it has nothing to do with brainwashing or politics, it's just a simple, primitive, "fight or flight" response on her part.

Why complain? That's just how it is. Just like, if a woman is dressed all sexy and saunters by you, you would s
ay that
she can't complain if you have your natural reaction of being attracted.

Right?[/B]

---

Speaking personally, I reject 95% of the men who approach me. Yes, it has to do with looks, but the way he approached me and what he says plays a huge part, too. I agree with you 100% that single men out there are looking to hook up, and they will pounce on most opportunities; they DEFINITELY have intentions. I've never been approached by a guy who just wanted to talk about the weather. EVERY GUY (hot, short, tall, ugly, skinny, fat) gets rejected, though. It doesn't only happen to you So don't take it personally.

posted March 26, 2013 12:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starfairy:
That cake looks delish my favorite

Yes, he mentioned everyone on the site said he can't get a girl because he's too angry. And he admits he's angry.

Aquaguy, we all want you to be happy!

You obviously have a lot of pain, and you feel are not finding a sympathetic ear here. No, a lot of us don't 'understand', because we haven't been in the same situation. It's definitely not your 'fault'; you have had a horrible childhood. You haven't had any positive male or female role models in your life. Women and men who grow up in a violent household often end up in abusive relationships, themselves, because this is what they perceive as 'normal' due to their childhood conditioning. No child should have seen what you have seen.

However, you're only punishing YOURSELF by keeping yourself in this prison of anger and frustration. When I read through this thread, you don't really seem to want advice; you just want to vent your anger and frustration. You should talk to someone who knows how to deal with this kind of stuff, and maybe join a support group consisting of those who have had similar experiences.

As evidenced by your other posts (and natal chart), you're a stubborn boy. HOwever, don't keep punishing yourself! You deserve much better than this <3 A life of anger and frustration will only hold you back from
happiness.

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posted March 26, 2013 01:20 PM            

Approaching someone out of the blue was never a good strategy for me, and I never signed on to that approach.

I had enough dates with some very attractive women that I didn't worry about s like this. And not desperate for sex either. Enough of that too, without even looking very good, with women of all ethnicities.

And I never liked drinking in bars or anywhere else for that matter beyond a simple glass of wine. Call me a snob. It's cool. I don't give a ff.

posted March 26, 2013 06:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

i understand all that. i just took issue with the fact that people seemed to be implying guys who ultimately get the girls never have intentions. Guys almost always have intentions. of course most will lie about this and im being honest, but im somehow the bad guy lol.

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Oh-- my bad. Well, you can just consider that one more bit of advice for you to grow on, free of charge.

So...what intentions you are even talking about here?

Are you defending the "right" to objectify women and only see them as sex objects...because biology gives you no other choice? Probably not. So what could possibly be wrong with your intentions?

I guess people think you don't appreciate women's company, so the only other explanation for why you might want a gal is just to satisfy you physically.

posted March 26, 2013 06:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Oh-- my bad. Well, you can just consider that one more bit of advice for you to grow on, free of charge.

So...what intentions you are even talking about here?

Are you defending the "right" to objectify women and only see them as sex objects...because biology gives you no other choice? Probably not. So what could possibly be wrong with your intentions?

I guess people think you don't appreciate women's company, so the only other explanation for why you might want a gal is just to satisfy you physically.

^^ To be perfectly blunt about it.

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posted March 26, 2013 08:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
just came across this litlle gem on okcupid. notice how she openly admits using and deceiving a guy but justifies it by saying she "didnt owe him anything".

Q: Would you date someone you weren't crazy about if they took you on cool dates? A: Yes Explanation: “I actually did this for awhile with a guy on here. I pretended to like him, and I never gave him anything in return because I didn't owe him anything. ”

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I don't doubt it, recall the whole intention discussion we had?

Uhm, yeah.

Shockingly AG, if they guy wasn't happy with the situation..wait for it..he could have stopped dating her.

Insanity I know.

posted March 26, 2013 08:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
I don't doubt it, recall the whole intention discussion we had?

Uhm, yeah.

Shockingly AG, if they guy wasn't happy with the situation..wait for it..he could have stopped dating her.

Insanity I know.

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posted March 26, 2013 08:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
if you read what she said padre she admitted to pretending to like him because he took her fun places. so the guy probably thought they were actually building towards a real relationship. are you actually defending her bad behavior?

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Are you actually blind to the fact the guy had choices as well?

Do you suggest he was merely a poor dumb blind fool lead astray by jezebel in this nasty mean dating game?

Let me edit this a bit, you do recall the blather about it's biology and when a young guy (who is not gay) yadda yadda?

See, women know this, and as long as sparky the puppy is willing to do whatever SOME will happily go along with the game.

THIS is why the whole intention/biology stuff really needs a rethink as it allows the guy to be led around by the nose.

posted March 26, 2013 09:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Are you actually blind to the fact the guy had choices as well?

Do you suggest he was merely a poor dumb blind fool lead astray by jezebel in this nasty mean dating game?

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posted March 26, 2013 09:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
when a guy approaches a girl there is a 99% chance he is attracted to her (unless he is gay of course) and is hoping they hit it off and things go somewhere. so how exactly does that imply one doesnt enjoy womens company? i'm sorry but that doesnt make any sense.

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I wasn't talking about just any guy, I was talking about you specifically.

After reading all your posts I get the impression you see no value of being around women aside from it "going somewhere." Like, unless a girl puts out (and fast enough so there isn't some protracted, God-awful "is she leading me on?" suspense), you have no interest in her company.

posted March 26, 2013 09:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
how did i know somebody was going to say exactly what you just said? predictable.. and your response is the typical attitude in today's world sadly.. if a man deceives a woman its the mans fault, but if a woman deceives a man its also the mans fault. but wait, how does that happen? how can a man be held accountable for deceiving a woman when women are supposedly "intuitive" ? Also why is it the mans fault for being deceived? why dont we hold both sexes accountable for their behavior? because i get tired of getting all the blame for things and nobody admitting stuf like what that girl did is wrong.. i have had similar stuff done to me,but apparently its all my fault.. what they did wasnt effed up or wrong at all..

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Not at all, if either deceives the other..psst..it's none of my business

I just chalk it up to the game, it's been happening since Cleopatra was working Mark Anthony.

What is comical to me is some okcupid post bothers you, I've seen such greater cruelty out in the real world in relationships and cheating and the games being played, that some internet post may as well be Calvin and Hobbes piece in the Sunday paper.

What I am suggesting is..take accountability for one person's actions..your own, now you know just a bit how this all works, what you do next is up to you.

posted March 26, 2013 09:28 PM            

quote:

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aquaguy91: i have had similar stuff done to me,but apparently its all my fault.. what they did wasnt effed up or wrong at all..

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No one is denying that it is wrong. What people like Padre are saying is that as bad as it is, you really don't owe other people anything. Some people take advantage of that, some people expect something in return, and guess who gets hurt? The people who expect something in return. And whose fault is it? Theirs. Is this excusing taking advantage of others? No.

posted March 26, 2013 09:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Not at all, if either deceives the other..psst..it's none of my business

I just chalk it up to the game, it's been happening since Cleopatra was working Mark Anthony.

What is comical to me is some okcupid post bothers you, I've seen such greater cruelty out in the real world in relationships and cheating and the games being played, that some internet post may as well be Calvin and Hobbes piece in the Sunday paper.

What I am suggesting is..take accountability for one person's actions..your own, now you know just a bit how this all works, what you do next is up to you.

Out of a sort of morbid curiousity, is your purpose for multiple paragraph rehasing, and imo, whining, of this over and over again is going to accomplish much of anything at all?

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I agree with this.. Of COURSE you're going to find these kinds of posts. There are also thousands of other profiles of perfectly nice women, but of course you bring up this one.

posted March 26, 2013 09:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
No one is denying that it is wrong. What people like Padre are saying is that as bad as it is, you really don't owe other people anything. Some people take advantage of that, some people expect something in return, and guess who gets hurt? The people who expect something in return. And whose fault is it? Theirs. Is this excusing taking advantage of others? No.

It's like saying a girl is friendly to a guy, and the guy let's her borrow his car or even better, drives her around. Then she says thank you, and no thanks when he asks her out on a date. The guy is angry and the girl carries on her way, and you know what? He's a douchebag for thinking if he was nice to her, she owes him a date or anything else.

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Even take the Okcupid site which is supposedly a "dating" site and either party plays the other side on, in AG's example it was the woman stringing the guy along.

That happens, it is a possibility, and it works both ways, this is why you really should just enjoy the date and see where it goes and if you actually like the other person aside from looks alone.

posted March 26, 2013 09:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
No one is denying that it is wrong. What people like Padre are saying is that as bad as it is, you really don't owe other people anything. Some people take advantage of that, some people expect something in return, and guess who gets hurt? The people who expect something in return. And whose fault is it? Theirs. Is this excusing taking advantage of others? No.

It's like saying a girl is friendly to a guy, and the guy let's her borrow his car or even better, drives her around. Then she says thank you, and no thanks when he asks her out on a date. The guy is angry and the girl carries on her way, and you know what? He's a douchebag for thinking if he was nice to her, she owes him a date or anything else.

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posted March 27, 2013 03:05 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by ghanima81:
Yes. Looks do matter. To the extent that you have to be attracted to a person initially to draw you to them. After that, if they are a blank slate, it won't go anywhere. But if they are more, it's worth talking more.

I will be bluntly honest here, if you are not very good looking (I don't know if you are or not), it is probably difficult to get past that initial "interest", especially if you are approaching a fairly attractive woman. This is more likely to happen in person, but on a "meat market" website like "Plenty of Fish" or "OK Cupid", that's what a person sees first.

Men and women are both vain to an extent. Deny it all we want because it's not the "right" thing to say, it's true.

BUT, everyone has different tastes. Me personally, I like stocky guys. I like broad shoulders, rugged hands, I don't mind a little belly or anything like that. I love a great laugh, a nice smile and eyes that just catch something in me. But I have to be attracted at first by SOMETHING to get me to open up. I am fairly shy with brand new people. This is probably why I have only gotten involved with friends of friends or people I already "know".

I think the Match.com or even Eharmony sites are better geared towards actually finding a relationship. I was actually shocked to hear stories about the other "hook up" sites. I guess I am naive, but that seems so dirty and surface only to me.

I blame this current state of people not being able to "connect" the way they once could by everyone feeling like a rock star b/c they have a Twitter account.

"I have been immortalized on the internet! People "retweet" my pictures! I am SO too good for talking to "ugly" people!"

Those are my observations anyway.

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posted March 27, 2013 06:10 AM            

a) It was so incredibly accurate and well written that you realised I was right - and you had absolutely no comeback

b) I told you not to give me a BS Capricorn Merc answer and since that was the only kind of answer you could give me.. you exercised your right to silence.

c) You thought to yourself: "pfffffft .. tis but the ramblings of a poor, delusional Neptunian person..."

d) You love me!
- and ignoring me is the twisted Moon opp Pluto way in which you express that.

e) All of the above.