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Author Topic:   where are women open to meeting guys?
aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 08:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was at the bar the other night shooting pool and having a few drinks and I was talking to another single guy. At one point he leaned into ask " where are single guys supposed to meet single women?" my answer? "no effing clue man,no effing clue." His question was a question i have been asking for awhile now and i have heard other guys ask similar questions.You see the bar we were at was a total sausage fest and all the women that were there were already with guys, this seems to be the situation at most bars and clubs. Also it has kind of become an unspoken "no no" to cold approach women and asking women out from work can land a guy in hot water. So my question for the ladies is where are you open to meeting guys? where do you go if you want to meet guys?

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starfairy
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posted March 25, 2013 08:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starfairy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You should try online, if you haven't already.

Sooo many of my friends have met men online. My sister met her fiance on OKCupid.

I could never do the online thing, though! lol My ex Aqua and I met at a club, and we stayed together for 4 years. I've also met men at the mall, the gym, through friends, at work, etc...

I think you have Venus in Aqua, no? I have two good Venus in Aqua friends, and they always meet people from online dating sites and through friends. Very Aqua.

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aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 08:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well i have been toying with okcupid for awhile now and i have not been happy with it. not trying to stereotype but it seems alot of girls on that site are not at all serious about actually finding a boyfriend. I have had several girls tell me they are not interested in actually meeting a guy, they just want people to chat with online. And its like"Ok,please explain to me why you are on a dating site?" I have also talked to several guys who are against okc for this very reason.

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Padre35
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posted March 25, 2013 08:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

How odd AG, for me never had this issue, it all starts with..wait for it:

"Hello, my name is..."

As for going to meet someone, try a book store with a coffee shop...and say "Hello".

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aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 08:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^well, thats usually the way i do it too. but it seems to have a low success rate. also women often complain about "some random guy talking to them." so i was wanting to get input on what they expect.

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starfairy
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posted March 25, 2013 08:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starfairy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well my sister had a similar experience.. As you cam imagine there are a lot of guys on online sites who just want to find someone to bang! Lol she went through a lot of duds before she found her guy. You have to keep trying!

My guy friend swears by online dating because: unlike at clubs, girls aren't surrounded by their friends; girls online don't (usually) already have bfs (with 'real life' girls you don't know til you ask); it's less awkward striking up a convo online than in person. Online dating is sooo popular these days...

Keep at it!

Oh and my other Venus in aqua friend meets guys through the clubs she is in. She joined a muay Thai club and met her guy there. So yeah, online, through friends, and through groups/clubs

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aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 08:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well again, not trying to stereotype but online dating is typically more "looks" centered ,even more so then offline dating. You cant really get a feel for someones personality online so looks are all important. and if your just an average joe as far as looks online dating can be very frustrating. just curious how would you rate your male friends physical attractiveness?

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Padre35
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posted March 25, 2013 08:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
^well, thats usually the way i do it too. but it seems to have a low success rate. also women often complain about "some random guy talking to them." so i was wanting to get input on what they expect.

Really?

Hmm, assuming you just want to somewhat get to know them (and they are not merely an item on the menu so to speak) I'm a bit surprised.

Ahh..that's right, you are quite young and probably dealing with other really young people as well.

If so, that is kind of how it works then, my mistake.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted March 25, 2013 08:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Johnny Lee sang it best.

I was looking for live in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many places
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what I'm dreaming of.
Hoping to find a friend and a lover
I bless the day I discover
Another heart looking for love.
http://youtu.be/FAyDmJvjxbg


You know, when you find a Chinese guy who sings Texan country songs, run quickly away.

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Lazyscarecrow
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posted March 25, 2013 08:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lazyscarecrow     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Online is good. Wouldn't mess with OkCupid though... that's more of a sex/hook-up site. Try a site geared towards local ads. Honestly, things like meeting potential people happens randomly. Maybe at a place that reflects your personal interests, like a convention or some event or club. Bar is not a bad place I guess, but idk because I hardly go to those things and would not go just to pick someone up or meet a potential boyfriend. Would rather go to a formal event and see what happens there. Or like I said, internet.

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starfairy
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posted March 25, 2013 09:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starfairy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He's not good looking lol. Nothing against skinny guys (I like skinny guys!), but he's practically skeletal. He wouldn't have much success in person, I can tell you that. He messages hundreds of girls and only some of them end up messaging back, and he takes it from there. He treats it like a numbers game. He uses plenty of fish, btw (which I heard is a terrible site, but it works for him!)

This other Aqua guy I know has a LOT of success with women. He's kinda a man w-hore , but anyway.. He's ugly as SIN. I literally said 'ew' when I saw him (that's mean, I know, but I'm being honest). Seriously. However, dude is sooo confident (Sag moon, venus Aries). He's so into himself, and acts like he thinks he's some sort of god. He exudes confidence, which is very attractive to women, and they take notice. He has definitely been rejected a lot, yes, but he also has gotten a LOT of girls.

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aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 09:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Really?

Hmm, assuming you just want to somewhat get to know them (and they are not merely an item on the menu so to speak) I'm a bit surprised.

Ahh..that's right, you are quite young and probably dealing with other really young people as well.

If so, that is kind of how it works then, my mistake.


well the thing is padre anytime a girl is approached by a guy in her age range she more often than not assumes he is up to no good. Its no suprise to me that you have reported striking up conversations with women in my age range and havent had much trouble with that. To a younger girl you are an "older" guy and thus safe, plus you are a good looking guy(no homo) so that probably helps too. A good example of this is something i saw a girl post on facebook,she posted a status saying that a random old man had come up and sit with her at her table and told her how beautiful she was and she talked about how sweet that was and how it made her day.I can assure you that if a younger guy had done the same thing she would have been posting what a creep he was. the reason being is she would see the young guy as trying to "get with her" but the old man was safe if that makes any sense. Its the same with me when i talk to older women, they are more relaxed and open to conversing with me because i'm "just a nice young man."

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Padre35
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posted March 25, 2013 09:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
Online is good. Wouldn't mess with OkCupid though... that's more of a sex/hook-up site. Try a site geared towards local ads. Honestly, things like meeting potential people happens randomly. Maybe at a place that reflects your personal interests, like a convention or some event or club. Bar is not a bad place I guess, but idk because I hardly go to those things and would not go just to pick someone up or meet a potential boyfriend. Would rather go to a formal event and see what happens there. Or like I said, internet.

That is so true, people get hung up on looks instead of meeting people who share interests.

Thing with a bar, a young person bar, is it is sort of a fashion show mixed with booze mixed with, for lack of a better term, desperation.

Depressingly, was chatting with a young woman and talking about a shared interest, she was in the online marketing biz and said point blank "..life is like High School with grown ups.."

Meaning those places tend to have a cast system.

Find a better market, say online, or what have you, otherwise it is like being steamrolled over and over again.

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Padre35
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posted March 25, 2013 09:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
well the thing is padre anytime a girl is approached by a guy in her age range she more often than not assumes he is up to no good. Its no suprise to me that you have reported striking up conversations with women in my age range and havent had much trouble with that. To a younger girl you are an "older" guy and thus safe, plus you are a good looking guy(no homo) so that probably helps too. A good example of this is something i saw a girl post on facebook,she posted a status saying that a random old man had come up and sit with her at her table and told her how beautiful she was and she talked about how sweet that was and how it made her day.I can assure you that if a younger guy had done the same thing she would have been posting what a creep he was. the reason being is she would see the young guy as trying to "get with her" but the old man was safe if that makes any sense. Its the same with me when i talk to older women, they are more relaxed and open to conversing with me because i'm "just a nice young man."

Probably, thing is though AG, I NEVER begin any conversation with a woman that I do not know, with a compliment on her appearance.

That to me would be CREEPY, some random man just tossing compliments out unbidden to me would cause a woman to think "..omg, don't know this guy, where is the that coming from.."

I'd far rather just chat and see where they are at and what they do for a living and just treat them like..wait for it..an actual person with interests and likes and dislikes and with something to say that I want to listen to and interact with.

Bookstores AG..trust me on this, unless you want to play the looks/attractiveness game.

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Faith
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posted March 25, 2013 09:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you have problems being perceived as intimidating, consider offsetting that by placing yourself in a gentle, safe environment. Especially one where you'll be given a chance to talk and show off your brain.

-Yoga Class
-New Age book club
-Nature clubs, hiking groups

That kinda thing.

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aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Probably, thing is though AG, I NEVER begin any conversation with a woman that I do not know, with a compliment on her appearance.

That to me would be CREEPY, some random man just tossing compliments out unbidden to me would cause a woman to think "..omg, don't know this guy, where is the that coming from.."

I'd far rather just chat and see where they are at and what they do for a living and just treat them like..wait for it..an actual person with interests and likes and dislikes and with something to say that I want to listen to and interact with.

Bookstores AG..trust me on this, unless you want to play the looks/attractiveness game.



oh i know that, i was just using that example to make the point that young women are more at ease around older men because they dont usually see them as a sexual threat, so the older guy in my story got away with it.I'll keep bookstores in mind.

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aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 09:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
If you have problems being perceived as intimidating, consider offsetting that by placing yourself in a gentle, safe environment. Especially one where you'll be given a chance to talk and show off your brain.

-Yoga Class
-New Age book club
-Nature clubs, hiking groups

That kinda thing.



I attend a monthly astrology meeting. the group consists of like 4 or 5 old ladies,me,and a gay guy. lol sounds odd but we have fun usually.

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Padre35
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posted March 25, 2013 09:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] Probably, thing is though AG, I NEVER begin any conversation with a woman that I do not know, with a compliment on her appearance.

That to me would be CREEPY, some random man just tossing compliments out unbidden to me would cause a woman to think "..omg, don't know this guy, where is the that coming from.."

I'd far rather just chat and see where they are at and what they do for a living and just treat them like..wait for it..an actual person with interests and likes and dislikes and with something to say that I want to listen to and interact with.

Bookstores AG..trust me on this, unless you want to play the looks/attractiveness game.



oh i know that, i was just using that example to make the point that young women are more at ease around older men because they dont usually see them as a sexual threat, so the older guy in my story got away with it.I'll keep bookstores in mind. [/B][/QUOTE]

Actually AG, and I've stopped going into that, but it works the other way.

As in uhm, recently learned what.."I'm down.." means.

Enough of that though, just try hello, be interested in what they have to say, then decide if YOU are interested.

Women have a 6th sense when it comes to this stuff so just be genuine and you'll do fine.

What I've noticed is being thirsty just is really unattractive, being interested honestly is really attractive.

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aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 09:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Actually AG, and I've stopped going into that, but it works the other way.

As in uhm, recently learned what.."I'm down.." means.

Enough of that though, just try hello, be interested in what they have to say, then decide if YOU are interested.

Women have a 6th sense when it comes to this stuff so just be genuine and you'll do fine.

What I've noticed is being thirsty just is really unattractive, being interested honestly is really attractive.



haha you are learning!well cant a guy be sexually/physically attracted to a girl and actually care what she has to say at the same time? suprisingly its happened to me quiet a few times.

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mockingbird
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posted March 25, 2013 09:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mockingbird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was going to say, "Yoga class" as well.

Go, practice, put the thought of securing a date out of your mind...and then someone will approach you.

It make take a couple of months, but just be yourself and it'll happen.

---

Padre's Book Store idea's also a good one, but e lives in a college town with good book stores - you may not.

------------------
If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device.
Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects.

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Stawr
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posted March 25, 2013 09:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Though friends is cool! Cause when you are around your friends, you are comfortable and it's easy to be yourself.

But you just gotta look out for your friends digging the girl you're interested in. Or lets say the girl you like's friend digging you. Other than that it's the most comfortable way to meet new people though social circles.

I never liked friends playing matchmaker though, it's too much pressure. And makes it awkward. I haven't had luck with that.

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Padre35
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posted March 25, 2013 09:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] Actually AG, and I've stopped going into that, but it works the other way.

As in uhm, recently learned what.."I'm down.." means.

Enough of that though, just try hello, be interested in what they have to say, then decide if YOU are interested.

Women have a 6th sense when it comes to this stuff so just be genuine and you'll do fine.

What I've noticed is being thirsty just is really unattractive, being interested honestly is really attractive.



haha you are learning!well cant a guy be sexually/physically attracted to a girl and actually care what she has to say at the same time? suprisingly its happened to me quiet a few times. [/B][/QUOTE]


Well sure, no one is that "petey pure heart", of course that is sort of the idea, but not always.

And I do agree, but it just seems to me is you are not happy with simply talking with a girl no matter how beautiful you find her.

Which imo, is doing things wrong, but that is just me.

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ail221
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posted March 25, 2013 09:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ail221     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Probably, thing is though AG, I NEVER begin any conversation with a woman that I do not know, with a compliment on her appearance.

That to me would be CREEPY, some random man just tossing compliments out unbidden to me would cause a woman to think "..omg, don't know this guy, where is the that coming from.."

I'd far rather just chat and see where they are at and what they do for a living and just treat them like..wait for it..an actual person with interests and likes and dislikes and with something to say that I want to listen to and interact with.

Bookstores AG..trust me on this, unless you want to play the looks/attractiveness game.


Basically

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aquaguy91
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posted March 25, 2013 09:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:

Well sure, no one is that "petey pure heart", of course that is sort of the idea, but not always.

And I do agree, but it just seems to me is you are not happy with simply talking with a girl no matter how beautiful you find her.

Which imo, is doing things wrong, but that is just me.



Well thats not really true, I enjoy talking to people in general of either gender.However lets not pretend that single guys (especially younger ones)are just looking for "female friends" and arent trying to meet a girlfriend.they may meet a female friend in the process but that isnt what they are after. Every guy i have met my age is the same way and if it makes me a dog,well i guess all young straight men are dogs too.

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Padre35
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posted March 25, 2013 10:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Then just enjoy that and if she is interested in more, she'll let you know. Usually by bringing things up in a somewhat obscure way.

But of women, that is just how they do things, men will come out and say it, women more dance around the subject but for them they are making it perfectly clear.

The great unsaid in all of this is they enjoy it as well.

To me, 90% of the attraction is not the possibility of it going physical, it is more just really knowing and liking them first and foremost.

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