posted July 26, 2022 05:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Dumuzi,
You're the only one mentioning timeframes (you specifically mentioned a few dates). I never mentioned having any expectations for how many dates I go on with women before I expect them to sleep with me. It's all about the vibe. The only thing I care about is do I feel like she wants to #### me? If the answer is no, I'm not interested. I need to feel that from a woman. Like I said, it's not just about the actual physical act of sex itself. If I feel that intimacy and attraction there I don't mind to wait. But a woman who only meets sexual flirtation with hatefulness and boundaries is no fun. And my question to them is why are you even wasting my time if you aren't attracted to me? I'm flat out not interested in relationships where I can't be myself. I'm just not interested.

---

you literally mentioned timeframes when you said that someone wanting something eventually is unacceptable

so you should've said attraction in the first place because your posts didn't give that impression, by focusing on sex you gave a wrong impression

posted July 26, 2022 05:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
What I'm saying is women are capable of communicating boundaries in a way that also communicates "Hey I'm attracted to you and want to **** you when I feel safe." What's so hard about that? The lack of that vibe is more of a red flag than women outright not having sex. It's the ambivalence or outright hostility to sex in general.

---

a lot of people have a hard time with boundaries actually for a lot of reasons, so while it seems like something someone should be able to communicate to you it very commonly isn't

the likelihood of issues with boundaries can increase when sex is brought into play so you're wrong

i know i personally having the experiences i've had have a very difficult time with telling people what is and isn't ok, this is again another reason why i avoid these things altogether

i have one guy in my life who i'm very close to and honestly if circumstances werent difficult snd distance wasnt an issue i don't think we could've gotten so close because there's a level of things being safe because of all that

he knows the deal though

anyway my point is sometimes some people need to let things develop before anything, this isnt wrong or bad kt just isnt your wavelength and maybe that isn't somewhere a lot of people are but there will always be people like you

posted July 26, 2022 05:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
aquaguy91 😎
I totally get what you have been saying😎
Sad that others see only nasty etcetera👽
And people who feel dirty and guilt from sex are really messed up to say he least.
Arrested development at 12 or so👽
It is really amazing that the human race has made it this long😳👽

You know what makes sense to me⁉️
To realize that loneliness and aloneness are not the same thing😎
One can be perfectly content with themselves and not feel lonely;
in fact one can be so very lonely, lonesome and sad whilst in a relationship😢
Too many people live like that👽😳
So aquaguy91 keep on living your way and loving and respecting your wonderful self and do not ever settle for make do or second best because you do not want to get stuck in that kind of trap.

Again wishing you much luck in love and may you find the right person for you who will be
your best and trusted friend and companion💞😎
My grandparents taught me that concept💞
As folks get older sometimes illness etcetera hit one or both of them and sadly sexual intimacy can slip away😢
However when other relationship is not just about sex but deepest shared intimacy which does not always include sexual contact.
then that deep loving friendship of one's lover best friend mental and yes spiritual equal come together to create a wonderful
secure and always real and honest connection that cannot be broken by age or illness or anyone💞😎

Pardon any type please.

---

never said sex was dirty or shameful or bad so "sad to see" what exactly? you didn't see that here

what i have said is i personally need to feel a connection with someone (due to things i've experienced) in order to feel comfortable engaging with them in that manner

i am not comfortable with casual sex due to my experiences and prefer for that to be intimate with someone i've been friends with first, as a result i refuse to date because i know that the expectation of dating is sex and i don't want to be in that position

does that mean sex is bad? no sex can be very good

is it dirty? no

is it shameful? of course not

posted July 26, 2022 05:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[b]What I'm saying is women are capable of communicating boundaries in a way that also communicates "Hey I'm attracted to you and want to **** you when I feel safe." What's so hard about that? The lack of that vibe is more of a red flag than women outright not having sex. It's the ambivalence or outright hostility to sex in general.

---

Honesty is easy but most folks do not even try👽😡
Selfish self-centered fools👽

[/B][/QUOTE]

posted July 26, 2022 07:58 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:

could eventually become attracted etc, and it's mainly women who believe this

---

posted July 26, 2022 10:32 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Dumuzi,
You're proving my point. You talk about sex like it's a bad and nasty thing that you loathe and despise. This is exactly what I'm talking about. It's not the fact that you're saying you'd rather wait, but rather it's about how you describe sex and people who like it like they are a disgusting disease. Why can't women reject sex in the short term in a way that leaves men feeling good about themselves? Why do you have to attack and be nasty and judgemental?

---

posted July 26, 2022 10:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i happen to enjoy sex a good deal and have a high sex drive, however i've been sexually abused and raped and i have no desire to let someone i don't really know touch me like that

i know that when people ask me out they want sex they often make that clear and so i don't go out to avoid that sort of issue

i'm not being judgmental i said the statements you make are the reasons i avoid dating because it's a common expectation

i'm responding to your tone which is you being unable to fathom why someone might not be sexual with a stranger right away

---

posted July 26, 2022 10:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:

"Could" is not compelling to a man with a strong drive. That only works for asexual women with a billion options and all the time in the world. The rest of us want to invest in getting to know people who know if they are sexually interested in us or not. I'm glad you're transparent about the could part though. Too many women waste men's time like that when they have no intent to do anything. They'll be ambiguous about all that knowing full well the guy is very serious and Wants them. Then these same women want us to feel sorry when they get burned by Chad.

---

i said i didn't agree with "could" and don't feel that way, as a matter of fact i think a lack of mutual attraction is often detrimental

posted July 26, 2022 10:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
I’m sorry. I haven’t dealt with that, but I have no desire to let someone I barely know, touch me like that either.

---

posted July 27, 2022 06:34 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Dumuzi,
My point about people wanting it later is that it is absurd. No woman is going to magically start appreciating my earthy and sensual way of communicating with her after x amount of asexual communication. How does x amount of asexual communication translate to "Okay, he can be himself and it's okay now, whereas before I got bitchy and closed off and hateful?" My point is it's not a comfort level thing or get to know you better thing that is the problem. Like I've already said, it's the extreme animosity and aversion towards any attempts to become more intimate even if it is just through innuendo or slightly risque flirtation. I just don't see how a woman could ever go from that energy to open, warm, and receptive towards me. That's just my honest to God opinion after living 31 years on this earth. Also, open, receptive, and warm doesn't necessarily mean that a woman hops right into bed. It's a vibe and way of being. She might not verbally respond to a guy's dirty talk with dirty talk of her own,but her energy stays open, warm, and loving and she might even call him a perv in a playful way or gently change the topic. Grace is the word I'm looking for. She doesn't make a man feel bad for being a man. It honest to God feels like women hate men these days. I legitimately feel that.

---

it's really not absurd for a person to not be into that kind of thing when they don't know someone, it's very normal

i've been friends for years with people and then had the friendship naturally and organically become more (i prefer this) and then obviously interaction changed when things did

i wasnt bitchy or closed off etc (i assume if that were the case friends wouldnt approach me like that over time) so idk what youre dealing with but yeah...

also a lot of guys aren't immediately like this at all, i have plenty of guy friends and i've been with guys and just no... that's pretty uncommon outside of **** where dating right away is expected (which again is why i avoid that **** ) so im not sure where this "women hate men" **** is coming from

i love guys, and i love my guy friends a lot and one particular that's much deeper with mutually... so i'm not anti male here

posted July 27, 2022 06:42 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
It's funny because there's so much emphasis on LGBTQ+ pride and so on lately, but as a straight guy I don't feel like straight male sexuality is accepted or welcomed at all anymore. I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about. When my phone got stolen recently I had to go to the bank to get my card cancelled and get a new one. The teller that assisted me at the bank was really attractive and nice. She was also wearing a sexy leopard print dress and that is one of my weaknesses, so she was literally driving me wild. And my point in saying all this is I was feeling all this attraction and I didn't feel any freedom to express it. It would have been taboo if I had simply told her she looked nice in animal print. She most likely would have gotten creeped out. And that's exactly what I mean. That's fundamentally how us guys are. If women have an issue with that, you aren't comfortable with male sexuality.

---

saying "that looks nice on you" isn't going to be seen as creepy by most women that's an exaggeration and you projecting insecurities on women as a whole (though not everyone is ok with being hit on at work, which is something different entirely)

men hitting on women in public can be creepy though sure like i've had guys hit on me and then follow me or get angry when i said thanks but that i wasnt interested in anything or who have gotten mad at me for turning them down to the point of trying to fight with me over it years later

i've also had plenty of guys just grope me in public, grab my arm and try to pull me somewhere etc

so what you're not realizing is that when a guy says something to a woman in public she doesn't necessarily know what he's like, and most women have had at least one of these things happen if not stalkers etc so it's normal to react with caution when your safety might be at risk just by catching the wrong person's eye

posted July 27, 2022 12:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
boundary issues can exist because of things like abuse, it's not dishonesty or being self centered, you're not only wrong but you're completely lacking in empathy

---

I have most likely endured more brutal rapes and abuse than you could ever imagine.
By both men and women.

I have empathy for women and men who are treated badly by anyone.

Yet there you go doing exactly what aquaguy91
has accused you of.👽
You do not know me but just because I understand where aquaguy91 is coming from and do not have a frrucked up outlook on intimacy despite multiple brutal rapes as a child and even later and even at the hands of mostly oddly good Christians inc
Using women;
Oddly straight and Lesbian👽
I swear I must have a sign on me since I was 4 years old saying sex toy for all take as you want!😡👽
I am not going to trash aquaguy91 who is trying to figure it all out and is sharing whether you like it or not.
Too many women have called me a sllut and whhore and worse just because I see nothing wrong with sexual intimacy🤬
So yeah I see aquaguy91 points because I have been treated badly by mostly women too.
Rapes by men were horrible but they did he and genot leave the deep psychological damage to me that the rapes and social abuses by women caused me and at times still do.
Women all played the game of sexual abuse to cause the most psychological damage they could and too creepy glee in doing so👽🤬
Yes bad men who rape are bad but when done it is usually bye bye baby because he got his rocks off and is off looking for his next victim.
That part angers me, the next victim.
But women never let it go and then actually go out and ruin ones reputation because they
got angry when I reported them.🤬
Then it went from even that to abusing my son because I am his mother🤬
Yes these ladies all were good Christian and
Pillers of society females.
Their husbands were also some of the cold hearted sicko rapists and molesters.
🤬
So ma'am I do have empathy but you obviously do not care because oh my my my only you have ever been raped and such.
Well many of us have been but we did not let it screw us up and did not cause is to hate men or sex.

Rants over because I doubt you can understand a thing I have said🤬👽👽👽

Hope you get your head and heart screwed back on right because you are a miserable person
and that is sad to say the least😢

posted July 27, 2022 01:03 PM            

Sad but not surprised.

You said it best when you said previously;

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
What I'm saying is women are capable of communicating boundaries in a way that also communicates "Hey I'm attracted to you and want to **** you when I feel safe." What's so hard about that? The lack of that vibe is more of a red flag than women outright not having sex. It's the ambivalence or outright hostility to sex in general.

---

I also feel that it one dresses
like they are cruising for sexual
attention be it men or women then
damnit do not ***** when you get
attention🤬
Sure fashion is fashion but there
is a time and place for certain
provacative wear.
I see women constantly
dressing in public in ways that
liberal me finds shocking
and even blatantly crude
that my common sense says that
no one should wear unless
they wanted more than casual attention,
yet I see women doing it
all the time👽
Don't delude yourselves ladies
You are not doing it for fashion or
to be ignored either.
Walks like a duck quacks like a duck
must be a duck.
Do not want to be treated in ways you
do not like then do not act like a
tease or look provocative or go to
places known to be pick up places.

I do not know what else to say
aquaguy91
and again I am making more
enemies of women👽

I should not even be posting today
as I just got back from surgery for
like 6 hours today and feel awful👽

I just do not want you to ever
think that all women are against you
Most are against me and frankly
they can just suck it up and go on
about being hateful and messed up.
I just avoid them usually.

posted July 27, 2022 02:29 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dumuzi:
[b] boundary issues can exist because of things like abuse, it's not dishonesty or being self centered, you're not only wrong but you're completely lacking in empathy

---

I have most likely endured more brutal rapes and abuse than you could ever imagine.
By both men and women.

I have empathy for women and men who are treated badly by anyone.

Yet there you go doing exactly what aquaguy91
has accused you of.👽
You do not know me but just because I understand where aquaguy91 is coming from and do not have a frrucked up outlook on intimacy despite multiple brutal rapes as a child and even later and even at the hands of mostly oddly good Christians inc
Using women;
Oddly straight and Lesbian👽
I swear I must have a sign on me since I was 4 years old saying sex toy for all take as you want!😡👽
I am not going to trash aquaguy91 who is trying to figure it all out and is sharing whether you like it or not.
Too many women have called me a sllut and whhore and worse just because I see nothing wrong with sexual intimacy🤬
So yeah I see aquaguy91 points because I have been treated badly by mostly women too.
Rapes by men were horrible but they did he and genot leave the deep psychological damage to me that the rapes and social abuses by women caused me and at times still do.
Women all played the game of sexual abuse to cause the most psychological damage they could and too creepy glee in doing so👽🤬
Yes bad men who rape are bad but when done it is usually bye bye baby because he got his rocks off and is off looking for his next victim.
That part angers me, the next victim.
But women never let it go and then actually go out and ruin ones reputation because they
got angry when I reported them.🤬
Then it went from even that to abusing my son because I am his mother🤬
Yes these ladies all were good Christian and
Pillers of society females.
Their husbands were also some of the cold hearted sicko rapists and molesters.
🤬
So ma'am I do have empathy but you obviously do not care because oh my my my only you have ever been raped and such.
Well many of us have been but we did not let it screw us up and did not cause is to hate men or sex.

Rants over because I doubt you can understand a thing I have said🤬👽👽👽

Hope you get your head and heart screwed back on right because you are a miserable person
and that is sad to say the least😢

[/B][/QUOTE]

i wonder you're aware of the way you've come off this entire time, down talking entire groups of people while seeking his validation

calling me judgmental is hypocritical at best on your part considering you called most women "vile" aside from that, no you probably haven't because i've also suffered a good deal of sexual abuse (and other kinds of abuse) from both men and women

so this isn't a competition, but you certainly don't **** about my life and you should probably stop pretending you do

i didn't trash him or say what he thought i said at any point and notice how he didn't push that issue when i corrected him, you did because you lack reading comprehension and are seeking validation "i'm not like the other women am i?" etc

i see nothing wrong with sexual intimacy, but where i give that sexual intimacy is my choice, simple as and that goes for anyone

you claiming i see something wrong with it because i choose to keep that within a certain structure that i'm ok with is just ignorant and goes back to you having an issue with other people's choices not me having one with yours

notice how i didn't call anyone a ***** ? doesn't seem like it because you're spouting all kinds of nonsense

when did i say only i've ever been raped? never, what i said is your inability to understand where boundary issues can come up and you calling it dishonesty is a lack of empathy

a person is not being dishonest or self absorbed if they've never been taught their body is theirs and then they go on to have trouble expressing their boundaries, this is a normal response to trauma (and because i'm not the only person bad things have happened to a "normal" can exist)

you're straight up gaslighting here and twisting words and it's really sick and gross and you should probably stop

i don't hate men or sex, opposite i've said that many times, you're just being disingenuous here and making things up, and in a really ****** way like you're being extremely messed up here

posted July 27, 2022 02:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
aquaguy91 💙
There it is we both are monsters to certain women.
I am not surprised.

Sad but not surprised.

You said it best when you said previously;
I also feel that it one dresses
like they are cruising for sexual
attention be it men or women then
damnit do not ***** when you get
attention🤬
Sure fashion is fashion but there
is a time and place for certain
provacative wear.
I see women constantly
dressing in public in ways that
liberal me finds shocking
and even blatantly crude
that my common sense says that
no one should wear unless
they wanted more than casual attention,
yet I see women doing it
all the time👽
Don't delude yourselves ladies
You are not doing it for fashion or
to be ignored either.
Walks like a duck quacks like a duck
must be a duck.
Do not want to be treated in ways you
do not like then do not act like a
tease or look provocative or go to
places known to be pick up places.

I do not know what else to say
aquaguy91
and again I am making more
enemies of women👽

I should not even be posting today
as I just got back from surgery for
like 6 hours today and feel awful👽

I just do not want you to ever
think that all women are against you
Most are against me and frankly
they can just suck it up and go on
about being hateful and messed up.
I just avoid them usually.

---

no one called either of you monsters, as a matter of fact i think he's a much better person than you

not because either of you is a monster but because you're deliberately disingenuous, dishonest and speak like a narc and he just wants to be understood and connect with other humans

he's a far better person than you could hope to be from what i could see, based on all that's been displayed

posted July 27, 2022 03:03 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
saying "that looks nice on you" isn't going to be seen as creepy by most women that's an exaggeration and you projecting insecurities on women as a whole (though not everyone is ok with being hit on at work, which is something different entirely)

men hitting on women in public can be creepy though sure like i've had guys hit on me and then follow me or get angry when i said thanks but that i wasnt interested in anything or who have gotten mad at me for turning them down to the point of trying to fight with me over it years later

i've also had plenty of guys just grope me in public, grab my arm and try to pull me somewhere etc

so what you're not realizing is that when a guy says something to a woman in public she doesn't necessarily know what he's like, and most women have had at least one of these things happen if not stalkers etc so it's normal to react with caution when your safety might be at risk just by catching the wrong person's eye

you're making this into something it most likely isn't and overlooking some of the every day things that happen to women

---

posted July 27, 2022 03:23 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Dumuzi,
Again, you prove my point. Lol You imply I'm being dramatic when I say I don't feel free to even appreciate a woman's beauty in a way that's congruent with who I am and how I feel. Then you proceed to explain how creepy and problematic it is for a man to compliment a woman from a woman's perspective. That is exactly what I'm talking about. When a man compliments a woman he is coming from a happy place almost always. So if a woman responds in that bitchy,closed off energy it is rejecting and invalidating. It doesn't feel good to a man to be fundamentally rejected for who
he is. That's never going to feel good to a man. Ever. But again, we've already long since determined that men's emotions don't matter much.

---

i'm explaining to you why some women may be uncomfortable, and letting you know it isn't personal and explaining the outlying factors that can be there

i said very clearly someone saying "that dress looks nice on you" isn't creepy or wrong

this isn't the equivalent of telling someone "thank you for the compliment" or "no thanks i don't want a drink" and having them follow you and get aggressive

i'm explaining that someone with bad experiences might seem more closed off than they actually are to you as an individual because they're reacting from a place of what they might be used to

posted July 27, 2022 03:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dumuzi:
[b] saying "that looks nice on you" isn't going to be seen as creepy by most women that's an exaggeration and you projecting insecurities on women as a whole (though not everyone is ok with being hit on at work, which is something different entirely)

men hitting on women in public can be creepy though sure like i've had guys hit on me and then follow me or get angry when i said thanks but that i wasnt interested in anything or who have gotten mad at me for turning them down to the point of trying to fight with me over it years later

i've also had plenty of guys just grope me in public, grab my arm and try to pull me somewhere etc

so what you're not realizing is that when a guy says something to a woman in public she doesn't necessarily know what he's like, and most women have had at least one of these things happen if not stalkers etc so it's normal to react with caution when your safety might be at risk just by catching the wrong person's eye

you're making this into something it most likely isn't and overlooking some of the every day things that happen to women

---

i've yet to encounter a single woman who would be put off by a guy saying a dress looks nice on them, this is a foreign concept to me so i assume it can't be wholly accurate because you're making it seem standard

to date i have never seen this being normal or standard and most women would think a woman who got angry over "that dress looks nice on you" had issues and was wrong

posted July 27, 2022 05:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:

i'm saying it's projection to think all women would respond to "that dress is nice" by thinking you're a creep because i myself and literally every woman i've ever known would not so i'm not sure where that idea even comes from

---

posted July 27, 2022 05:07 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Dumuzi,
Whatever, at this point you are arguing to be arguing. Women are extremely &itchy and unreasonable about anything like that. Of course, you wouldn't understand that because you aren't a man outside of the top 20% of looks, money, and status. We aren't allowed to be heterosexual men and compliment women. I've almost never been able to say anything like that without a &itchy sour face and "thanks" in a &itchy, dismissive tone. I get treated so badly by women. My self esteem and feelings aren't even concepts to them. They just don't care about anyone or anything but their material stuff and Chad.

---

i'm not arguing at all i'm talking to you, or attempting to, but you don't seem to want to have a conversation

i don't need to be a man to know you're wrong when you say "women this" and "women that" i just need to be a woman who has known other women and to have been hit on myself etc

what you need to learn is when you speak about roughly half the population as if they're all this one way you're guaranteed to be wrong

i'm telling my experiences and the things i've seen of other women to let you know that you won't constantly encounter the same thing from everyone

posted July 27, 2022 05:09 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
It's not projection if women literally react negatively every time they get complimented. That includes acting f###ing awkward and weird. Men don't want bad energy. We want to give a woman good energy and get some of that back. You know, give and take. The problem is I give and give and give and never get anything back. You keep explaining the mechanisms as to why women act the way they act. I don't care. I want women to be better people and treat men the same way they want men to treat them. Be honest with me. Be transparent with me. Don't waste my time. Don't toy with my emotions. That's all I ask for from women. But apparently that's too much to ask for.

---