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Author Topic:   Freemasonry and Women
juniperb
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From: Blue Star Kachina
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posted September 08, 2011 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for juniperb     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This has seriously devolved and it`s time to step back and take a break.


We all have knowledge, beliefs and opinions. Lets not step on each other in sharing ours.

thanks.

------------------
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~Rumi~

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Emeraldopal
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posted September 08, 2011 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Emeraldopal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are right, Wise Juni!

I AM leaving this string!

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone

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Cancer/Scorpio729
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posted September 08, 2011 08:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cancer/Scorpio729     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
We need some way to wrap our minds around suffering, be it karma or revenge

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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posted September 09, 2011 02:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Emeraldopal:
Voix de la Mer,

You don't know me, so don't judge me..
You have no idea what I have gone through
in my life...I don't whine and complain,
and talk about all these things, I don't
need anyone's sympathy or pity..
For I have no One to blame, but my-Self
for my hardhsips!

Get off your High Horse, it's not becoming
at all!


I don't recall judging you, although if I don't judge crossing the road I could get hit by a car ...

What I am judging is a belief that I feel is dangerous to women and children.
If you choose to define yourself by that belief that's your choice. I am still attcking the belief, not you.

Knowing what you have or haven't been through will make no difference to my opinion of karma in the context of abuse and rape and miscarriage. None.

Can't you see that karma here is just a false control?
Maybe that helps people in the short term, but eventually they will have to go through the blame-game AGAIN.
The abuser already tells the person/child that it is their fault, and then karma tells them it's their choice.

No idea who I am talking to anymore, if Emeraldopal has left the thread, but I wanted to be clear about what riled me so much yesterday.

This is not a high horse, it's an alarm bell, at yet another endangering 'spiritual' belief.

HOnestly folks, you've got to keep one foot on the ground, and one eye open. I don't care what anyone's definition of reality is, all I know is that billions of people are suffering RIGHT NOW.

Can't say I envy those who can stick their head in the sand and say 'that's karma'.
I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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posted September 09, 2011 02:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by juniperb:
This has seriously devolved and it`s time to step back and take a break.


We all have knowledge, beliefs and opinions. Lets not step on each other in sharing ours.

thanks.


Juniper,

I am trying to point out something I feel is very important and dangerous.
I couldn't care less about pushing anything I believe on anyone else, as I have very little beliefs to begin with.

So, if I see people expressing a belief I believe to be a danger to society, I shouldn't say anything in case I upset someone?

Is that really the right thing to do?

If I remember correctly this began as a conversation to convince me of the female's superiority over the male's.
When questioned on how women have any control over rape and miscarriage I was given the cookie cutter, pithy answer of 'karma' - what does that even MEAN here?

My stance is the same, I refuse to believe either the male or female is suprior to the other, and karma is not a legitimate answer to the abuse of people and children.

I will not change that opinion.

I can however forget about the karma crap and just talk about the masons, but I doubt anyone wants to now, don't even know if I do.

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dysfunctionalmystic
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posted September 09, 2011 04:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dysfunctionalmystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was going to open a separate thread on karma but I'm not quite sure where to post it, maybe divine diversities or somewhere like that.

Voix - I understand what you're saying but unfortunately one of the big problems with a lot of beliefs is that they are just opinions and not facts. I agree with you on the subject of karma. I wrote this a while ago and although I'm not happy with it (needs more and editing) I'll post a link any way.
http://dysfunctionalmystic.com/#/karma/4538303019

It's hard trying to get the balance right and I don't actually think it's possible to be completely politically correct when you're dealing with beliefs and yes if you think something is wrong then you actually have a moral obligation to speak out....or at least that's my opinion on it.

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rajji
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posted September 09, 2011 04:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Voix has made some interesting points.
Well,I too felt the same..Neither of them are superior in a way that each of them have their own unique abilities and attributes.
Both of them cannot be compared on the basis of equality or karma with respect to ones abilities.
Both of them complement each other each other's strengths and weaknesses, that's how it should be ... A little bit of both.
Hence I wholeheartedly believe that God created man and woman so differently to complement each other by supplementing each other in their given or assigned roles.
“In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of
woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything
comes from God.”
"Man and woman have the same value
Both are created in God’s image
Both were given authority over the earth.
Man and Woman do not have the same role:
Man was created first in relation to her and is to lead;
Woman was created second in relation to him, and is to complement him."
I believe there is no substitution or duplication between a man and a woman. that is the essence of creation in order to supplement each other through our attributes.
Adam and Eve were created equal in God’s sight. Within the context of their equality, God assigned men and women different roles. He made Adam first, signifying his unique role as leader and initiator. He created Eve from Adam and brought her to Adam to be his helper in the tasks God had assigned him. She was made to complement, nourish, and help her husband. God’s greatest gift to man was “a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). This doesn’t minimize a woman’s role, but it does define it.

Men and women were created equal, yet different. And the fact that we’re different and complement each other is wonderful.

I believe this is what even linda was alluding to!
"women have been tempted and persuaded to believe
that their equality and power must be symbolized, as well as gained
through the adoption of masculine thought processes
dress, manners, speech -- and behavioral patterns of the man
and this is incredibly self-defeating

for the great influence of the feminine Soul
directed by the awesome Power of the Feminine Goddess
of each Feminine 'I'
cannot regain its lost powers..through the alchemy of abdicating

the very essence of femininity itself

and if it continues, it will bring the inevitable and self-defeating result
of the struggle of women to emerge..to have been in vain"

Is'nt that more than clear?
It is not about the struggle of superiority by donning the cloak of a man...We are what we are with all our flaws and strengths.
This essence of feminity cannot be abdicated instead has to be complemented with the essence of masculinity in order to fullfill each other.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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posted September 09, 2011 05:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
I was going to open a separate thread on karma but I'm not quite sure where to post it, maybe divine diversities or somewhere like that.

Voix - I understand what you're saying but unfortunately one of the big problems with a lot of beliefs is that they are just opinions and not facts. I agree with you on the subject of karma. I wrote this a while ago and although I'm not happy with it (needs more and editing) I'll post a link any way.
http://dysfunctionalmystic.com/#/karma/4538303019

It's hard trying to get the balance right and I don't actually think it's possible to be completely politically correct when you're dealing with beliefs and yes if you think something is wrong then you actually have a moral obligation to speak out....or at least that's my opinion on it.


Yes, balance is one of my personal nemeses.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you have said about moral obligation. It often goes beyond that though, when I feel in my heart that something is wrong, I can't stop myself speaking up. Obviously this doesn't always have a positive outcome, and perhaps that is down to my lack of eloquence when I am impassioned.

Thank you for your link, I'll have a read.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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posted September 09, 2011 05:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by rajji:
Voix has made some interesting points.
Well,I too felt the same..Neither of them are superior in a way that each of them have their own unique abilities and attributes.
Both of them cannot be compared on the basis of equality or karma with respect to ones abilities.
Both of them complement each other each other's strengths and weaknesses, that's how it should be ... A little bit of both.
Hence I wholeheartedly believe that God created man and woman so differently to complement each other by supplementing each other in their given or assigned roles.
“In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of
woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything
comes from God.”
"Man and woman have the same value
Both are created in God’s image
Both were given authority over the earth.
Man and Woman do not have the same role:
Man was created first in relation to her and is to lead;
Woman was created second in relation to him, and is to complement him."
I believe there is no substitution or duplication between a man and a woman. that is the essence of creation in order to supplement each other through our attributes.
Adam and Eve were created equal in God’s sight. Within the context of their equality, God assigned men and women different roles. He made Adam first, signifying his unique role as leader and initiator. He created Eve from Adam and brought her to Adam to be his helper in the tasks God had assigned him. She was made to complement, nourish, and help her husband. God’s greatest gift to man was “a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). This doesn’t minimize a woman’s role, but it does define it.

Men and women were created equal, yet different. And the fact that we’re different and complement each other is wonderful.

I believe this is what even linda was alluding to!
"women have been tempted and persuaded to believe
that their equality and power must be symbolized, as well as gained
through the adoption of masculine thought processes
dress, manners, speech -- and behavioral patterns of the man
and this is incredibly self-defeating

for the great influence of the feminine Soul
directed by the awesome Power of the Feminine Goddess
of each Feminine 'I'
cannot regain its lost powers..through the alchemy of abdicating

the very essence of femininity itself

and if it continues, it will bring the inevitable and self-defeating result
of the struggle of women to emerge..to have been in vain"

Is'nt that more than clear?
It is not about the struggle of superiority by donning the cloak of a man...We are what we are with all our flaws and strengths.
This essence of feminity cannot be abdicated instead has to be complemented with the essence of masculinity in order to fullfill each other.


Rajji,

I do agree with a lot in your post, although I have suspicions regarding any religious text, as I feel that religion is really another form of control, or government, if you like. People are much easier to control and target when they are in a group, much harder to catch if they disperse - metaphorically.

"This essence of feminity cannot be abdicated instead has to be complemented with the essence of masculinity in order to fullfill each other."

- agreed.

The question of who came first is irrelevant to me (not that anyone has come up with a reasonable answer to that anyway - not religion and not science), we are two halves of the same whole.

Either the Freemasons also believe this and fear it undermines their goals, or they don't believe this and see men as superior.

I'm inclined to believe the former.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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posted September 09, 2011 05:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
DYsfunctionalmystic,

that is a wonderful article that outlines my own worries about karma in this context.

I truly feel that it a way for the abused to clutch to an imaginary sense of control over what happened to them.

From that height it is a very long fall to the truth.I know, I took it, in several ways.
I entertained pretty much all notions of control over what happened in my childhood as well as this:

- he was sick and didn't mean to hurt me, I should be the bigger person and pity him
- I was seductive even though I knew it was wrong, and encouraged the cycle to continue
- you only get one father and you should love him unconditionally
- it was meant to happen to me so that it wouldn't happen to another child (having no idea just how prevalent child abuse was at the time)
- I was special, chosen
- it was just a form of love I didn't understand yet

What was the immediate result of this thinking? - when the police and social workers and counsellors questioned me I lied - I protected him, I told half truths - STILL trying to hold onto this fake control.
As a result he received no imprisonment for 9 years of sexual abuse.
I still haven't forgiven myself for that.

I could go on and on with the reasons I came up with to retain a sense of control over what happened.
Eventually I realised any control I thought I had was a lie.
It was a lie perpetuated by the psychological grooming, and default consequence of the abuse itself.
And I realised, I had NO CONTROL EVER.
And that to cling to this idea that I somehow could have prevented it or stopped it kept me in a state of victimisation.

The search for meaning is also an entrapment, like you state in your article.
There just isn't enough investigation to knwo for sure - is it illness? Is it control? It is sexuality? Is it psychopathology?

All that too has to be let go of, or did, for me.

Once I had let go of all attempts to control or give meaning, I was free to see it as an experience that, once I am healed sufficiently, puts me in the optimum position to both support those going through the same thing, and also to get into the mind of the abuser.

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dysfunctionalmystic
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posted September 09, 2011 08:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dysfunctionalmystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

I just wanted you to know that I got where you were coming from.

Acceptance of powerlessness is a very difficult feeling to process. But it is ultimately what leads to empowerment. The irony!

And no , there isn't enough investigation into the reasons we need to attach meaning and especially not enough study of the reasons we attach to beliefs. It's a huge subject and beyond complex. There does seem to be a strong need for people to be able to give form to anything and everything they experience and I think that is a very human trait. I just feel it's a shame that beliefs are given special rights over ideas in general because it often stops the analysis.

And I forgot to mention, from your earlier post, that you questioned your lack of eloquence. I don't think there's anything wrong in your manner of expression. You state your case quite clearly. But; when you go in and poke holes in peoples psych support systems - they're gonna start freaking out. This can't be avoided and neither should it be. IF we are being held to psychological ransom by belief then we have to face it head on because if we don't.....things will never change.

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juniperb
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posted September 09, 2011 09:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for juniperb     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
and I am getting seriously angry

voix

get off your high horse

Emeraldopal.

Karma ,abuse or freemasonary are not the issues for my post. It`s a gentle reminder that one is responsible for their written expression in these forums.

Feeling angry or over invested? Step back and take a break .

Listen as well as talk !

------------------
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~Rumi~

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mochai
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posted September 09, 2011 12:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mochai     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Half of astrology is studying about karma and past lives. I'm pretty sure there's a legitimacy to the 21 grams theory as well. Also, Ian Stevenson's research and the thousands upon thousands of past life memories of children that were validated in environments where past lives weren't accepted as existing. Putting atheists into past life regressions and having miraculous healings of strange medical anomalies related to past life events. Minute historical detail recall in regressions or through waking circumstance that the individual couldn't have known. In my personal experience, I quite nearly wanted to kill my sister when I was 5, and I was too young to have those kind of sentiments (she's the abusive husband who killed me in my past life..). There are soulmates who elicit strong past life emotions in me that are inexplicable. Again, I do not think you are looking deeply enough at the research.

Maybe you have a bookshelf full of books but there are a lot of stupid ill informed writers writing a lot of books. I know it's pretty to think that suffering is inherently wrong (it is) and no god would create a world based on such a horrid existance, but it is still the world we live in. If there is free will and our body chose to enter that embryo to a sexually abusive father, what would most likely occur? Yes it's wrong. No karma doesn't justify the act. Karma is there to teach you where you messed up so learn to see yourself as always being one with everyone else around as opposed to existing in some dualistic me vs you universe. As someone studying to be a therapist you should know that you cannot heal trauma without forgiveness where you're always blaming the perpetrator for his cruelty. You don't release trauma with anger or revenge or hostility.

Until you love and forgive and see yourself as one, whether via buddhist notions of interdependent co-arising, or nonlocal conciousness, physically that all energy is quantumly entangled, or shamanically that it has a consciousness, that we are even ecologically one, we can never be wholly separated from one another, and if fear and aversion keeps you from seeing yourself in everyone around you in love and compassion, karma will pull you back into those scenarios until you do.

Love thy neighbor. Don't seek to be understood but to understand. Compassion.. bodhichitta. Fear eats the soul. These disparate religious elements tie together and are getting at one deeper whole. If we don't pay attention to these universal truths and ask ourselves why we're here and what we're supposed to be doing, yes we suffer and we have to come back to these horrible realms. Until then karma holds us back. There is nothing sick about that.. only our actions because we have forgotten who we are.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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posted September 09, 2011 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mochai,

Blame where it is due is not a hinderance to healing or forgiveness.
You know what IS though, blame where it's NOT due, e.g. the survivor, or 'karma'.

And with all due respect, I hardly think you are in a position to tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my experience and training.

I'll come back to this thread when I have more energy.

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mochai
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posted September 09, 2011 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mochai     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I didn't say to blame the victim, they've already been through enough having suffered through that.. That's just cruel. What was done to them was wrong.

Trust me I hate the karmic bible thumpers as much as you do. They can be some of the meanest coldest people and their mentalities about karma tend to be backwards. From what I've seen, the good acts they do tends to stem more out of fear or ego aggrandizement than it does from love and there is nothing spiritually elevated about that.

Forgiveness has been emphasized as being the main crux of healing in the majority of the literature I've read concerning trauma release therapies as well as being highly touted on Buddhist retreats concerning the subject matter. I figured you were more aware of that, but it fits the neural circuitry concerning emotional trauma and the brain perfectly if you would like me to elaborate on that matter. If you find a better therapy that works for you.. that's great. People don't heal often enough.

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dysfunctionalmystic
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posted September 09, 2011 06:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dysfunctionalmystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Maybe you have a bookshelf full of books but there are a lot of stupid ill informed writers writing a lot of books. I know it's pretty to think that suffering is inherently wrong (it is) and no god would create a world based on such a horrid existance, but it is still the world we live in. If there is free will and our body chose to enter that embryo to a sexually abusive father, what would most likely occur? Yes it's wrong. No karma doesn't justify the act. Karma is there to teach you where you messed up so learn to see yourself as always being one with everyone else around as opposed to existing in some dualistic me vs you universe. As someone studying to be a therapist you should know that you cannot heal trauma without forgiveness where you're always blaming the perpetrator for his cruelty. You don't release trauma with anger or revenge or hostility.

It's the above that concerns me

I have a bookshelf full of Nietzsche, Rollo May, Ernest Becker, RD Laing, Jung, Paul Tillich, Schopenhauer, Alice Miller,Clarissa Pinkola Estes and Kierkegaard as well as a heap of stuff that's connected to astrology and the new age.

How is it "pretty" to think that suffering is inherently wrong?

Suffering makes me feel sad not pretty.

I don't think that god is responsible for the suffering so I don't think "no god would create a world based on such a horrid existance".


As for karma, it's a beLIEf not a fact. It's what you CHOOSE to think.

But the bit that got me the most was the last part. You don't ever need to give forgiveness to heal trauma, that's just what you're personally telling yourself so you don't have to face the consequences of your own psyche. It's YOU that's BLAMING the perpetrator.

Gestalt therapy teaches releasing of trauma with anger and hostility. Revenge is simply what YOU are seeking. And because you can't take revenge yourself (for whatever reasons) you fall back on a beLIEf that says "karma" will do it for you. Gestalt therapy is actually pretty effective too.

The comment to voix about "being someone who is studying to be a therapist should know" is a little ....erm I can't find the word, but what voix should know as a trainee therapist is that denial is rife and a few other things but to say to her that she should know that you can't heal trauma without forgiveness of the perpetrator is a an outright lie. Acceptance of the self is another matter.

And forgive me for pointing out the obvious that it was you Mochai, who in another thread stated quite clearly that you did not wish to be here on this planet. So if you have such an aversion to being human, why should anything you say have any relevance to someone who is quite clearly dealing with very human problems?

She's been told to get off her high horse not once but twice - not for being condescending but for being rational and explaining herself despite feeling highly charged.

She's stated quite clearly that she had to endure trauma and then she gets slated for not taking the responsibility from the grown ups shoulders?

Oh come on !


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juniperb
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From: Blue Star Kachina
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posted September 09, 2011 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for juniperb     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dysfunctionalmystic,

"She's been told to get off her high horse not once but twice"

In case you are refering to my post, please let me clarify it.

I duly noted one sister was getting angry, the other bossy. In that vein, I suggested they step back and play nice or leave each other alone

Neither of my moderator type posts were reflecting my views on the discussion or the specific posters but rather the emotions running high..

------------------
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~Rumi~

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mochai
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posted September 09, 2011 08:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mochai     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
It's the above that concerns me

I have a bookshelf full of Nietzsche, Rollo May, Ernest Becker, RD Laing, Jung, Paul Tillich, Schopenhauer, Alice Miller,Clarissa Pinkola Estes and Kierkegaard as well as a heap of stuff that's connected to astrology and the new age.

How is it "pretty" to think that suffering is inherently wrong?

Suffering makes me feel sad not pretty.



Pretty/pleasant. It is inherently wrong. The world exists the way it does for a reason and it's how we choose to react that matters.
quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:

I don't think that god is responsible for the suffering so I don't think "no god would create a world based on such a horrid existance".


I think god is omniscient and omnipotent.. the cosmic dreamer. It's okay if we disagree. I see god in everyone.

quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:

As for karma, it's a beLIEf not a fact. It's what you CHOOSE to think.

But the bit that got me the most was the last part. You don't ever need to give forgiveness to heal trauma, that's just what you're personally telling yourself so you don't have to face the consequences of your own psyche. It's YOU that's BLAMING the perpetrator.



I don't call your beliefs lies. You're entitled to them.

I've been hoping someone else would come in and explain karma better. I still have karma conjunct saturn with a score of asteroid afflictions, and I must say that feels pretty real. You get what you give. It makes sense that with cause comes effect, for every action a reaction unless you step out of the cycle. Sure perception plays a huge deal in lucid dreaming and NDE's among other things, but I was an atheist most of my life and was told my greatest fault was that I cared too much, but I got negative karma a lot anyway. Perception doesn't supercede the reality or collective realities. Anyway. Think what you want. You're entitled to your beliefs, and I would be upset if you didn't follow your heart.

I should have been more clear somewhere, I think I said karma would trap you here. That's not the case. It's the wrong mindset, not loving enough etc.

Resentment is not a pretty aura color. Dark green. I'm not saying people shouldn't go through the stages of grief, but as long as you have negative emotions stored in your energy body they effect you. Hatred can be a prison and reinforces those neural circuits and the soul changes along with thoughts and choices. Hatred and unforgiveness is not a place I want to be in.

For each trauma a person goes through, the hippocampus, which plays an integrative role in the brain among other things, shrinks more and more, eventually leading to ptsd. What causes this is when the amygdala hijacks the higher cortical circuits in the prefrontal cortex and starts freaking out, being angry or doing what it does. This leads to the downward circuitry going into fight or flight mode that for whatever reason shrinks the hippocampus, becoming highly shrunk in all PTSD sufferers. To counterbalance this, the left acc has been shown to play a role in keeping people centered in the prefrontal cortex. It controls compassion, courage, and recognizing a conflict. The left prefrontal cortex, which the left acc is a part of, being responsible for solving a conflict. Compassion and forgiveness being very closely related and very important therapeutically in achieving the other, it keeps the amygdala in check. Rather than going into fight or flight you keep your cool, without having to reinforce your anger circuitry in your brain (generally speaking not a good idea if avoidable).

To illustrate this principle in action, when the Chinese invaded Tibet, the Dalai Lama's Tibetan doctor was captured and subsequently tortured for the next 20 years of his life until a compassionate chinese soldier assisted in his escape. Upon his return, people were expecting a highly traumatized individual, neurologically speaking and interpersonally/psychologically speaking. Wanting to see the impact of that kind of trauma on the brain, they scanned his brain and were shocked to learn that there was no evidence of psychological trauma. When they asked if he was ever afraid during his 20+ years of torture, he said that he was afraid.. afraid he would lose his compassion for the chinese people. There are many stories similar to that.

quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:

Gestalt therapy teaches releasing of trauma with anger and hostility. Revenge is simply what YOU are seeking. And because you can't take revenge yourself (for whatever reasons) you fall back on a beLIEf that says "karma" will do it for you. Gestalt therapy is actually pretty effective too.


Please don't posit emotions on me. I hate seeing suffering in any form. Not only that but you have the creative faculties to make that emotion more of a reality for me, and that's not a reality I want to participate in. Please do not assume. You are a very powerful individual. Thank-you
quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:

The comment to voix about "being someone who is studying to be a therapist should know" is a little ....erm I can't find the word, but what voix should know as a trainee therapist is that denial is rife and a few other things but to say to her that she should know that you can't heal trauma without forgiveness of the perpetrator is a an outright lie. Acceptance of the self is another matter.

And forgive me for pointing out the obvious that it was you Mochai, who in another thread stated quite clearly that you did not wish to be here on this planet. So if you have such an aversion to being human, why should anything you say have any relevance to someone who is quite clearly dealing with very human problems?



I've talked about the first part earlier. I have an aversion to existing and this is a painful planet to live on. I distinctly disliked some of my non-human lives. If it were to be a species, I'd want it to be one with more capacity for love.. most likely human. Who is to say I'm not dealing with human problems or at least trying to?

quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:

She's stated quite clearly that she had to endure trauma and then she gets slated for not taking the responsibility from the grown ups shoulders?

I hate to see people suffer, and I can tell that Voix has suffered more than her fair share. I can tell by her posts.

Going to quote this all verbatim because it relates to these themes.. some isn't so important, but these are correlates with mindfulness inventories. From page 91 of The Mindful Brain.

"Correlations of these facets with other measures revealed that the facets seemed to connect with predicted dimensions. For example, act with awareness (the "actaware facet) was inversely correlated with absent-mindedness and dissociation; "describe" was positively associated with emotional intelligence and negatively with alexithymia (the inability to describe one's internal state); and "nonjudge" was most robustly associated with low psychological symptoms, neuroticism, thought suppression, difficulties with emotional regulation, and experiential avoidance. Interestingly, "non-react" was most associated with self-compassion and "observe" correlated with openness to experience.

There is more I want to say about forgiveness but now is not a good time.

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dysfunctionalmystic
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posted September 09, 2011 09:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dysfunctionalmystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am less than impressed with myself for the following

And forgive me for pointing out the obvious that it was you Mochai, who in another thread stated quite clearly that you did not wish to be here on this planet. So if you have such an aversion to being human, why should anything you say have any relevance to someone who is quite clearly dealing with very human problems?

It's the bit about "anything you (Mochai) say have any relevelence"

that's a diminishing sentence and I apologise for that.

I have no power to posit emotions on anyone.

But on the subject resentment; it's one of the most powerful emotions there is. In one of his books (I think it is power and innocence - the search for the sources of violence) Rollo May discusses how it is resentment that will push an individual towards freedom. Resentment grows as a result of being imprisoned on an inner level.

I don't believe in polarising emotions into positive and negative, they're just feelings and they are there for a reason. It is social conditioning that gives us these restrictions on what we are allowed to feel.

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LEXX
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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted September 09, 2011 09:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I want to contribute more on this thread but
I am just going through far too much and no changes for the better in any clear sight yet.
I just cannot cope with arguing/debating at this time.
Having enough trouble just holding on in just about every way there is. So apologies but all this pales by comparison to the trials I am personally enduring.
It is also adding to my despondency that some see my lot as being something I deserve
or asked for. Well I say it is luck of the draw. As it is said...."shite just happens".
I hope the discussion here on this thread continues but in a peaceful mode.
I am not up to posting on it more at this time.
It is depressing and frustrating to read.

------------------
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
}><}}('>~

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mochai
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From: Charon
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posted September 09, 2011 10:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mochai     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
All emotions are important. They identify something and shouldn't be disregarded, however you have a choice as to how you respond to your emotions and transmute them. Although I've had angry spells the last few years, if given a choice I always want to respond in love and understanding. I'd rather respond in compassionate or healing way when possible.

Well you certainly presupposed them (positing). I do believe your thoughts have power as well.

Lexx, just take care of yourself.

I've taken hard lives the last few times I've incarnated. It's more than just about karma.. sometimes you want to achieve something or learn something.

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rajji
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posted September 09, 2011 10:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
{{{Mochai}}}
Understanding each other and forgiveness-It does banish loads of negative karma...I concur.

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Voix_de_la_Mer
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posted September 10, 2011 04:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't have a lot of time atm, I'm not ignoring the other replies, but just briefly I'd like to reply to Mochai.
I'll write more after work.

Mochai,

you talk of resentment and Tibetan Buddhist beliefs.
I only have my own experience to go by for certain, but I've also garnered information on those close to me.

Resentment is part of the process to healing - you cannot bypass it, it must be expressed, along with the anger, the injustice, the hurt, the sadness, etc - they are all valid and have a place.
You cannot push a person into another state of emotional being, you must let them walk through their own individual process.

As a sidenote, no, you can't 'tell' I have experienced trauma from my posts, I have laid it out in black and white, no telling involved.

Between the ages of 13 and 20 I was angry, resentful, dark, and suicidal.
Between the ages of 20 and 23 I was reclusive, fearful, and unstable.
Between the ages of 23 and 26 I emersed myself in Buddhism and other spiritual beliefs that felt true to me at the time - I had Buddhist friends, visited a monastery regularly, read the spiritual writings of the Buddha - understood them quite well I believe, if the response of ordained buddhists was anything to go by - I was on the verge of dedicating my life to it officially.

What stopped me?
The utter renunciation of humanity, that's what.

I I have read that quote you stated regarding the prisoner who feared he would lose compassion for his imprisoners (I have read his book on the experience), and I too thought wow how enlightened is that.
But can you tell exactly what his compassion done for the Tibetan people?
They are still being persecuted.
The Dalai Lama, who I have huge respect for, and happen to think is highly intelligent, ran and left his people to die.
He believed as their spiritual leader he must be preserved. Except, you cannot lead a dead country.
Non-violence in this case is responsible for many deaths. And yes, I know the rest of the world could have, or could do, more, but the buck stops with the country's leader.
And he left them.

If I hadn't allowed myself to feel resentment and anger, I would never have escaped my abuser - no one even remotely suspected I was being abused (except the one person I told who was still traumatised from her own abuse, but I'll get to this in a minute).
It was my anger and resentment that pushed him out of my life, it was how I overcame my fear.
He was 6ft 4, and pushing 40, he done a lot of physical work - imposing, to a 5ft, 90lbs, 13 year old, is an understatement.
Yet I singlehandedly removed him from my immediate environment.
How? I told him the very depths of my hatred toward him, I told him exctly what I would do to it and how I would kill him if he ever came near me again. I was certain I was going to die anyway - when you live in fear death is always on your shoulder.

He left me alone from that day onwards, unless you count a couple of love letters, and pathetically hanging around the school bus stop to walk me home. He did not enter my house or come within arms length of me again, thanks to my anger and resentment.

Now, obviously you can't carry that around with you. But it does have a purpose, and when that purpose is served, you begin to see how you are only hurting yourself with it, so you find a way to transform it.
You start to grieve, you cry, hurt, drink, cling, you become vulnerable again.
Then you start to search, you search for the whys, the hows, you wonder how this could have been allowed to happen, you frantically try construct ways to protect yourself from it again (I am not talking about coping mechanisms you developed during abuse - that is a different beast entirely), to retain your autonomy.

It was at that last stage that I got interested in Buddhism.
It was the most beautiful escapism I had ever experienced - more potent that drink or drugs (you had the knowledge you were doing it all with your mind, there's a sense of power in that).

Long story short, where did it leave me?
Hating the chinese and my abuser all over again.
I regressed through Buddhism and beliefs of the like.
A close buddhist friend was in constant turmoil about the fact that she had to accept her 'karma' (raped by her father and brother, then abandoned by her mother) - she had been an official buddhist for 10 years, with a deep understanding of the teachings.

My nana who was raped by lodgers in her mother's house has throughout her life constructed many ways to escape from her trauma. It is her escapism and refusal to express her anger and resentment, and move through the process, that caused her to reject my plea for help at 9 years old.
I endured another 4 years of abuse, and a complete loss of faith in humanity at 9 years old because she feared her rightful anger and resentment.

Escapism from the emotions that are perfectly natural following trauma, is much more damaging to yourself and those who depend on you, than seeing the process through.

Just because I feel it's dangerous to believe in karma in an abuse context, does not mean I am angry or resentful toward my abuser. It just means that I have gone through the process of all the necessary emotions, I remember every one of them intimately, and I am aware that none of them can be left out or deemed 'negative' - they are simply 'necessary'.

IMHO karma is escapism in the context of trauma. I really with all my heart wanted to embrace buddhism, but when I saw those people abandoned and dying, I realised that it too has flaws too big to dedicate my life to it. It does not teach you how to go through the process of healing as is natural for a human being, it teaches you how to run away from it and deny your intrinsic healing mechanisms.

Emotions cannot be feared or ignored, or smoothed over, they must be given power over you as long as they have something to say.
Many therapists will disagree with this - they say, you can feel things but they have no power over you, the buddhist say you can choose what you feel whenone arises - why all this deviation from what your mind has to do?

Power. Control.
That's what karma is about - passive, illusory control.

Or at least, that is my opinion on it.

I'll address the other replies when I get back from work, I'm not being ignorant, I have a terrible memory though, and may not have had the train of thought I needed for this reply after work has hung, drawn and quartered me!

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iQ
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posted September 10, 2011 04:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for iQ     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think everyone has made excellent points, especially relating to their own experiences.
We should certainly have a full fledged topic on Karma. Karma is a multidimensional Law.

And yes, the belief in a type of Karma can "attract" those consequences to the believer in accordance with Hermetic Laws. Mind-Patterns, Intense Thoughts and Mental States that affect emotions are extremely powerful in this 3D Reality.

The trick is to know how to erase false notions of karma and tackle only the actual karmic debts. If Karmic Debts did not exist, Saturn Transits would have no effect. But they do. Ask every person who went through Saturn return and learned astrology later on.

NASA announced an "invisible" planet in the constellation of Lyra. Slowly they are seeding the subconscious of Humanity with our true origins. This is so that the controllers have less karmic debts to repay, there is a fear of pain from advanced civilizations who will use karmic debts to punish the evil controllers. The controllers do not want us to know how to minimize our own debts. Even the most powerful are afraid of karmic debts. This alone should caution us into being careful before dismissing the existence of Karma.

Linda Goodman was right. Unconditional Forgiveness and Unconditional Love/Compassion are the best tools to eradicate genuine karmic debts.


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mochai
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posted September 10, 2011 02:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mochai     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a little too inundated by certain things to answer this adequately in the way that I would like to. If ideas of oneness doesn't give you reason enough as to why you should forgive and love, to help eachother, or what may come in the after life as a result I don't know what to tell you.

I know there are things I could say about god or karma, because I think this is more about atheism than it is about karma. It makes sense that there would be rules to the universe and god wouldn't be a senseless sadist/masochist.

For holding hatred and resentment, there are psychosomatic reasons not to. Your body tenses when you feel that kind of emotion and when you have all that tension all the time you're predisposing yourself to severe chronic pain conditions later on in life, and moreso if you're an in accident. It's not the accident that causes the chronic pain conditions it's when your body tenses up which means people who hold that kind of tension and don't release it are the ones who end up in life long severe pain moreso. Not only that you're releasing that energy on a cosmic scale (look into nonlocal consciousness) but in Buddhism it's said hatred and animosity are the poisons that hurts the bearer more than it's intended target. If you look into the research and ideas I presented thoroughly enough, I think that should be reason enough to know that you need to release the anger and forgive at some point and maybe to recognize that there is some spiritual order to the apparent disorder of the universe.

Yes what is going on in China is wrong. Violent protests never work the way people want them to. That is also evidenced in Tibet, but the Dalai Lama has gotten a lot of public sympathy and through his work and example has spread buddhist concepts throughout the world to the degree that they're being married with scientific ideals to save lives and make the world a better place. Is it harsh? Yes. But quite frequently we take more negative karma than we put out. Sometimes to account for lives many thousands of years ago as IQ will attest. It was better that the Dalai Lama live than to be a senseless martyr.

It took people like Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King to show the atrocities and cruelty of what they were up against. A violent or angry protest would not have gotten the same results in either case. Anger begets anger, hatred begets hatred etc.

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