posted October 29, 2008 11:34 AM         

It's English slang for horny. English as in Brit. I don't think Americans use it. It's a bit outdated as a word. I don't think people in their 30s use it much.

I don't know what it tranlates to in German.

posted October 29, 2008 11:51 AM         

"That's a pretty heavy description."
Yes, I know. I actually considered deleting it the minute I had posted it here.
It seemed pretty heavy, even for me, especially considering that I don`t even know him.
But then I remembered that you told me I shouldn`t censor myself too much, so I didn`t. It was what shot through my mind, without thinking.

" From our talks before i felt like you wanted to distance yourself from him, or from thoughts of him."
Oh I still want.

" I think i said that "you could have him" and your response was "I don't want him"."
Well, maybet here are two places where this "want" comes from, the mind and the heart / soul / instincts.
My mind clearly tells me I do not want him, no way. It`s like I don`t want TO want what I want, if you know what I mean?

I don`t want him, because I know he would be disastrously wrong for me (even if he wasn`t a celebrity, but a colleague of mine for example), probably unhealthy.
But there must be some instinctual attraction, which I can`t really explain.
It doesn`t make me comfortable, doesn`t put me at ease, it doesn`t feel "warm", but it`s there, underneath.

"I don't know what it is, but i know what you're talking about. His darkness. He has some pretty distinct skeletons in his closet."
Yes, definitely. I don`t know, I just have the feeling, what you see is not what you get. And what you will get, you could not have seen before.

" Does anything in his natal hint to deadly secrets? Repression? DEpression?"
He has a very strange chart. It is kinda isolated, because there are only very little aspects.

His Sun is in Capricorn without any aspects.
HIs Moon probably is in Gemini and possibly has an opposition to his Mercury, a trine to Jupiter and maybe a sextile to Pluto (there could be a quindecile between Moon and Mars, too).
His Mercury exactly conjuncts Eros.
HIs Venus in Aquarius sextiles Saturn, widely opposites Uranus (6°) and quindeciles Pluto (I start believing that quindecile-obsession-aspect is one that could have some validity; my Venus is exactly quindecile my Vertex and Eros, too).
His Mars in Sagittarius trines Uranus and widely squares pluto (6,5°).

So, he has a rather "cold" chart, pretty detached and emotionless with all these Air-signs and Sun in Capricorn.
The Pluto-aspects to Venus and Mars might modify it a bit, if you allow the quindecile and a widish orb.

[Edit:
he possibly has a quindecile between Sun and Moon and Moon and Mars and he DEFINITELY has a quindecile between Venus and Pluto.
Interestingly there are some quindeciles in our synastry:
His Pluto quindecile my Juno
his Pluto quindecile my Moon
his Eros quindecile my SN]

Also, one could look at the Dwads for his "sub-personality".
I did not look at the exact degrees, but

His Sun is in Gemini-Dwad
his Moon might be in Taurus-Dwad
His Venus is in Leo-Dwad (that could give a bit of warmth actually)
His Mars is in Pisces-Dwad

(note to myself: Have to check the exact degrees as my Moon and DSC are in Leo-Dwad, my Mars is in Aquarius-Dwad and my Venus is in Pisces-Dwad).

[Edit:
There are some interesting midpoints:

posted October 29, 2008 12:01 PM         

"My apologies. Sometimes there is so much going on here that it's hard to keep up."
I wasn`t referring to you or the others on here. I was referring to the "higher powers" that decided that I should be moved that way by him and who just "forgot" to ask me if I even WANTED this.

"I think if he made you feel comfortable 1) we wouldn't be talking about him 2) i wouldn't be attracted to him, lol!"
Yes, I think you`re right.
A "normal" attraction seems to be pretty boring to me. I always take ntoice when there is this internal struggle between attraction and repulsion, must be that bloody Venus-Pluto-square and the quindecile between Venus and Eros / Vertex. It`s the obsession aspect after all.

"Maybe he was your Ralph and you were his PA"
That hit a nerve actually! I could feel something from deep inside stir. So I guess you are right. And no I am not offended. Maybe it was that way. I surely sense some sort of "dominance" around him that I clearly detest.
But it is not just that. You know when PA talks about Ralph, I get mainly negative feelings and repulsion and so on. My feelings towards Julian are different. There is that "forceful" side, definitely, but there is also "some" kind of attraction.
I don`t think it was really onesided, maybe it was just too much for me, too unhealthy, too obsessive, too compulsive and I tried to get back my sanity and dignity?

You know that poem I wrote about him; I think the key to that attraction is hidden somewhere there. Because it was what I felt the FIRST time when I saw him, and I immediately wrote it down. So it hasn`t gotten modified by my thoughts later on and my attempts of analysis.

posted October 29, 2008 12:24 PM         

"By this i meant that my romantic feelings seem irrelevant when we're talking about possible abuse in a past life."
Well, the key word here is "possible". We don`t KNOW what happened.
Of course abuse carries always a certain heaviness with it, but that doesn`t mean romantic feelings are less important or strong, they are just different and hopefully happier.

I also hope if we talk about that here, like it has really happened, that we do not offend anyone, who had to endure abuse in this life.
For me it might all be true, past lives and so on, but more important is to me, that this scenario is a way to put the feelings I have into words or "images".

"ather not compete or not know what the past relationship was like (if there was one) because if it was stronger or more romantic than yours with him that would cause serious tension."
No, it would not. Why should it cause tension between US?
Neither of us is connected to him in any way now. And as I said, I may feel the attraction, but I probably wouldn`t act upon it, even if I had the chance.
And if his synastry with you was stronger and if he fell in love with you and wanted to marry you, I would gladly be your bridesmaid (if you wanted me to).
I can`t make someone else`s c hoices. And I don`t hold grudges. I`m not that way.
Of course it would pinch, if you had the one I wanted by the balls (whoever that might be), but I wouldn`t hold it against you. It would be my problem, my feelings, and I would be able to deal with it, somehow.

But of course I knew that my synastry would be much stronger. lol

"Sometimes i feel like there is a competition between who is the most intense. The most passionate. The darkest. The most poetic, or romantic, or whatever."
You are not completely wrong here, I guess.
But I truely do not want to compete with you.
I know we are both very passionate people, but our ways of expression are different. So I guess you would win in expressing passion.
I may feel it inside, but I usually don`t act upon it, except for in my mind.

"But then i also feel sometimes like there is competition over who is more liked."
So, you think in truth we are fighting for BM`s and PA`s attention and affection?

posted October 29, 2008 12:36 PM         

"But ya know, Draco is about the past, right? So maybe we were lovers a while ago. So what?"
So you will not be mad at me, if I tell you, that Ralph`s Draco Mars almost exactly conjuncts my Draco Venus?

"Vicious sister i must have been"
Make that two.

Maybe Ralph forced me to marry Julian in that life, so he could continue a secret affair with me, but then things somehow went wrong?
What if not Jude was part of this life, but Julian?
Could you feel a connection of that sort?

I`m just curious and wondering, because the moment the thoughts of a past life arose between us, the thoughts of Julian erupted out of the nothing.

"Maybe. That would explain my constant sex dreams... "
Lol.
Strange, but I never dreamed of him, except for that one dream when Jude suddenly transformed into Julian.
But I guess I have found an effective way to block him and keep him out of my dreams

"You realize DD, that most of this stuff is sexual, right? Where in there does it say that we would be madly in love? I don't see anything (and if there is anything, ignore it!)."
Oh I don`t know, what about Venus aspecting Sun and Moon? Seems pretty emotional to me.

"ou take all the J's and i'll take all the R's... D's... G's... and P's... am i forgetting anyone?"
Hmm, I want all the S`s, too. And we have to talk again about the P`s.
What about Paul? What about Patrick?
You do not really want them, do you?

posted October 29, 2008 04:25 PM         

Which I'm not getting.

I haven't grasped the distinction between Union/Unique. If they were strictly unique, that wouldn't make many words, as you would discount all the vowels in most cases.

posted October 29, 2008 04:42 PM         

Example:

Desire

I can`t have the word "desire" on my own since my name is lacking a "D".
He can`t have the word "desire" on his own,
because his name is lacking the "e" and the "r".

So, only in the case, if you combine both our names (and their letters), you get the word "desire".

The word "seer" can be created by my letters alone, as I have them all. So it is not a word of the relationship-lexi, if we do it according to the rules.

But of course most those "nice" words are not included in either of our names, but can only be created by the merging of our name.

There was a funny thing. Some days ago I found a compatibility-calculator for numerology, which interpreted the individual names. And at first I thought that it had dones omething wrong, because it wrote the same things for him as well as for me.

It took me several minutes, until I realized, that our names are pretty much the same in numerology.

Both our full names reduce to a 7
The vowels number are a 5 in both cases.
And the personality number is 2 for both of us.

posted October 29, 2008 05:22 PM         

DD,

Your:
Dr Nessus conjunct his Dr Heracles
Dr Nessus sextile his T Heracles

Dr Nessus square my T Heracles
T Dejanira opposes my T Nessus
T Dejanira WIDELY conjunct my Dr Dejanira
Dr Dejanira sextile my Dr Heracles

T Dejanira conjuncts PA’s Dr Dejanira
T Heracles sextiles PA’s T Heracles
T Dejanira squares PA’s Dr Nessus
T Nessus square PA’s Dr Heracles
Dr Heracles EXACLTY sextile PA’s Dr Nessus

My:
T Nessus square PA’s Dr Nessus
T Nessus opposes PA’s Dr Dejanira
Dr Nessus trines PA’s Dr Heracles
T Dejanira EXACTLY trines PA’s T Nessus
Dr Dejanira conjuncts PA’s Dr Dejanira
Dr Dejanira squares PA’s T Heracles
T Heracles conjuncts PA’s Dr Heracles

Dr Nessus opposes his T Nessus
Dr Nessus widely sextiles his Dr Nessus
T Dejanira conjuncts his T Heracles
T Dejanira trines his Dr Heracles
T Heracles sextiles his T Nessus/Dr Nessus/T Dejanira/Dr Dejanira
Dr Heracles widely conjuncts his T Dejanira
Dr Heracles trines his Dr Dejanira
Dr Heracles squares his T Heracles

PA:
T Nessus trines his T Heracles/Dr Heracles
Dr Heracles sextiles his T Nessus/Dr Nessus/T Dejanira/D Dejanira

posted October 29, 2008 05:26 PM         

Your:
Dr Nessus conjunct his Dr Heracles

T Dejanira opposes my T Nessus
T Dejanira WIDELY conjunct my Dr Dejanira

T Dejanira conjuncts PA’s Dr Dejanira

My:
T Nessus opposes PA’s Dr Dejanira
Dr Dejanira conjuncts PA’s Dr Dejanira
T Heracles conjuncts PA’s Dr Heracles

Dr Nessus opposes his T Nessus
T Dejanira conjuncts his T Heracles
Dr Heracles widely conjuncts his T Dejanira

posted October 29, 2008 05:34 PM         

definitely. I realized that, too.
Both killed each other. So I guess, they just signify different urges / needs or even people, who will fight each other to the very end, so save the damsel in distress Dejanira of course.

I also thought it was very interesting that all three of us have Deianira in the first degrees of Aries.

BTW why is your Nessus opposing my Dejanira? Do you want to force me to do something I rather not?

Interestingly the three-fold Dejanire-aconjunction between us, falls not only onto my IC but opposes my Draco Karma.

And funny incident: the SN in his and my composite falls onto 5° -6° Aries. lol

And if you do a multicomposite of the four of us, Saturn falls onto 6° ARies almost exactly opposing Pluto.

posted October 29, 2008 05:41 PM         

quote:

---

Both killed each other. So I guess, they just signify different urges / needs or even people, who will fight each other to the very end, so save the damsel in distress Dejanira of course.

---

Who killed who?

And in the end, who is Dejanira? And who is Dejanira to who? It doesn't necessarily have to be one of us and Ralph- it can/could be one of us to one of us...

quote:

---

BTW why is your Nessus opposing my Dejanira? Do you want to force me to do something I rather not?

---

I don't know. Do you feel like i am superior to you in someway, or hold some sort of power over you? Do you feel like i push you in directions you don't want to go? Be honest now. For astrological purposes we must all be.

quote:

---

And funny incident: the SN in his and my composite falls onto 5° -6° Aries. lol

---

Conjucting PA's and My Draco Dejanira- weird..

posted October 29, 2008 05:43 PM         

quote:

---

And if you do a multicomposite of the four of us, Saturn falls onto 6° ARies almost exactly opposing Pluto.

---

Which would EXACTLY conjunct my Draco Dejanira..

posted October 29, 2008 05:47 PM         

quote:

---

It`s still pretty amazing, those connections. A few really relevant connections ar much more important that a dozen minor ones I think.

---

Definitely. Without a doubt.

quote:

---

I like that his Heracles conjuncts your DEjanira (if I saw hit right) - he would have fought for you and protected you. Of course in a rather posessive way.

---

That's the best way to be fought for and protected, don't ya know!

But that's in tropical- doesn't that hint toward now, not necessarily to back then? I'm confused... If it did hint to now then it would be rather irrelevant in our story...

posted October 29, 2008 05:49 PM         

quote:

---

B plus for the acrostic poetry.

---

B plus...?

B PLUS?!?!?!!

posted October 29, 2008 05:53 PM         

Unbelievingly, Deijanira believed him, the centaur who just tried to rape her!!!! HOw stupid was she??????
And years later when she doubted Heracles faithfulness, she did as Nessus had told her.
But when the blood touched Heracles skin, it poisened him and slowly burned him.

So, Nessus kinda killed Heracles,t oo, just much much later.

"nd in the end, who is Dejanira? And who is Dejanira to who?"
Dejanira is just a part inside us, as is Heracles and Nessus.
Probably the more naive part. lol

"I don't know. Do you feel like i am superior to you in someway,"
Not really.
But you often make me look deep inside myself and be really honest with me, especially when it comes to passions and feelings and all that emotional stuff.

"Do you feel like i push you in directions you don't want to go?"
yes you push me. But you only push me, where I need to be pushed and where I do want to go, deep inside. Just it sometimes may not seem reasonable to me, and then you give me the reason or the excuse to go there anyway.

posted October 29, 2008 06:03 PM         

quote:

---

"Who killed who?"
They killed each other.
Heracles killed Nessus, when he tried to rape Dejanira, but Nessus told Dejanira to save his blood, and whenever she would doubt Heracles`faithfulness, she should make a cloth with his, Nessus, blood on it, which would ensure Heracles would stay true to her.
Unbelievingly, Deijanira believed him, the centaur who just tried to rape her!!!! HOw stupid was she??????
And years later when she doubted Heracles faithfulness, she did as Nessus had told her.
But when the blood touched Heracles skin, it poisened him and slowly burned him.

So, Nessus kinda killed Heracles,t oo, just much much later.

---

Yes, i read up on the story, but i thought you meant two people between the FOUR of us killed each other. Yes...

quote:

---

"I don't know. Do you feel like i am superior to you in someway,"
Not really.
But you often make me look deep inside myself and be really honest with me, especially when it comes to passions and feelings and all that emotional stuff.

---

I knew that before i asked that question. I felt like i made you do that. You mentioned before that you didn't censor yourself with what you wrote because i told you not to. At least i'm HELPING you instead of HARMING you.

quote:

---

"Do you feel like i push you in directions you don't want to go?"
yes you push me. But you only push me, where I need to be pushed and where I do want to go, deep inside. Just it sometimes may not seem reasonable to me, and then you give me the reason or the excuse to go there anyway.

---

posted October 29, 2008 06:05 PM         

quote:

---

Oh about D conjunct his H - you are absolutely right. That would be NOW, not in the past. Maybe he learned his lesson well.

Sorry, I got to go to bed now. I HATE it, I would love to stay and continue our discussion.

---

He better have!!

B@stard... making me kill myself... or you... or PA... or everybody! Either way, it's not good, i'm not happy... and someone died.

posted October 29, 2008 06:09 PM         

23Dejanira 29°43’25" Virgo

JT Nigel 29°58’19" Virgo
23 Nessus 0°14’28" Cancer rx
23 Link 26° 9’43" Pisces
JT Heracles 26°37’23" Pisces

posted October 29, 2008 06:30 PM         

quote:

---

"Maybe he was your Ralph and you were his PA"
That hit a nerve actually! I could feel something from deep inside stir. So I guess you are right. And no I am not offended. Maybe it was that way. I surely sense some sort of "dominance" around him that I clearly detest.
But it is not just that. You know when PA talks about Ralph, I get mainly negative feelings and repulsion and so on. My feelings towards Julian are different. There is that "forceful" side, definitely, but there is also "some" kind of attraction.
I don`t think it was really onesided, maybe it was just too much for me, too unhealthy, too obsessive, too compulsive and I tried to get back my sanity and dignity?

---

I think that would only make sense. When you mentioned him it felt like you didn't want to think about it too much. You didn't want to get too invested. There was a resistance from you, a hesitance that spoke volumes. That same hesitation could reflect past experiences.

quote:

---

"ather not compete or not know what the past relationship was like (if there was one) because if it was stronger or more romantic than yours with him that would cause serious tension."
No, it would not. Why should it cause tension between US?
Neither of us is connected to him in any way now. And as I said, I may feel the attraction, but I probably wouldn`t act upon it, even if I had the chance.
And if his synastry with you was stronger and if he fell in love with you and wanted to marry you, I would gladly be your bridesmaid (if you wanted me to).
I can`t make someone else`s c hoices. And I don`t hold grudges. I`m not that way.
Of course it would pinch, if you had the one I wanted by the balls (whoever that might be), but I wouldn`t hold it against you. It would be my problem, my feelings, and I would be able to deal with it, somehow.

But of course I knew that my synastry would be much stronger. lol

---

That last sentence- that's the competition i'm talking about. You may have put "lol" behind it, but somewhere in you, you mean that. You mean it and you want me to know it. To know that you have marked your territory and i should keep my distance. I know that no one here knows him, but we're speaking in a figurative sense anways. We're speaking in the sense that we know what he FEELS like through his chart. That person, we DO know.

So, in terms of talking about this person we know (through the chart) if i had better synastry with him but YOU liked him that would cause tension. Definitely. Maybe not spoken, but inside you there would be a steady rumble, a resentment or a jealousy. It would make you self-conscious if you and he ever got together and i was around. Or if he talked about me, or if i talked about him. If there was any connection between the two of us, you would feel a sting of jealousy. And though you may say now that you would be able to deal with it, i know you wouldn't. Jealousy doesn't die, my dear. It may go dormant, but it never leaves completely. It's roots are embedded deep and it can grow miles high within a matter of seconds.

Which is alright. It's ok to admit to feeling that. I admit to my jealousy. It's not something to be proud of, but it's not something to repress either.

I'm not saying you ARE jealous, as obviously the synastry between you/him and me/him is different butttttttt.. in a circumstance similar to this i think you would be.

quote:

---

"Sometimes i feel like there is a competition between who is the most intense. The most passionate. The darkest. The most poetic, or romantic, or whatever."
You are not completely wrong here, I guess.
But I truely do not want to compete with you.
I know we are both very passionate people, but our ways of expression are different. So I guess you would win in expressing passion.
I may feel it inside, but I usually don`t act upon it, except for in my mind.

---

I don't want to compete with you either. Truly.
I think that there is a difference between wanting to be secretive and being secretive. I think there is a difference between being passionate and wanting to be thought of as passionate.
I feel competition here. You saying that i win at being passionate because i express it and you keep it to yourself- this is what i'm talking about. You're paying me a complement, but underneath it you're still complementing yourself. I "win" only because i'm vocal and you're not. So you're saying that if you WERE vocal the story might be different.
I don't understand. Why do you feel like you need to prove yourself. Or why do you feel like... i think that in some way you do feel inferior. I'm NOT saying you ARE inferior, i'm saying you FEEL that way. And i don't get it. Please, be honest here and explain to me what makes you feel this way. Is it the things i say? Is there something i have said to you previously that made you feel insecure? Do you feel like i challenge you? Please tell me.

quote:

---

"But then i also feel sometimes like there is competition over who is more liked."
So, you think in truth we are fighting for BM`s and PA`s attention and affection?

---